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Annachronism
Planetoid
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2015
"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
She wasn't. She hadn't been in Kansas, anyway, and she didn't have a dog named Toto, so the whole damn thing was a wash right from the beginning. As it turns out, pop culture references aren't actually a solution to every problem, no matter how much everything start to look like a nail when all you have is a hammer.
Regardless, Anna Williams definitely was not in Kansas. She also wasn't in Indianapolis anymore, where she'd actually been before what she would come to refer to scientifically as the "kinda flashy lighty blacky-outy event" happened all over her life. Before said event, Anna had been havin' a pretty good life. She played bass for a shitty band that got paid in drink tabs. She got her drink tabs paid. She had friends who were only total assholes behind her back on Facebook every other weekend instead of every damn day. She was pretty cool with her mom and her dad and her kid brother. She was honestly (probably, someday, maybe) lookin' like she might be on her path to an okay degree in PoliSci, whatever it would do for her in the end. She might not have had a boyfriend, but she had a couple of boys who didn't actually know that until the day she might've fucked up and double-booked two of them. Life? Pretty good.
Waking up in a deserted field by the thunderous hooves of the horse-drawn carriage racing past the dusty old trail next to said field? That was definitely not pretty good. Hiking a good hour or so with a heavy-ass back-pack and her bass slung over her shoulder only to find that rather than the sprawling Indiana metropolis she'd been expecting, the nearest town was a hovel of peasantry, horse crap, and Renn faire rejects who took one look at her leather jacket and doc martens and declared her some kind of witch?
.. well, that was pretty cool, but she didn't really want to admit it until she was sure she was actually dreaming.
It's not every night that you expect to go get shit-faced at a gig in a hole-in-the-wall little nothing of a bar and end up being a stranger in a strange land, but hey, Anna wasn't just any average twenty-somethin' chick with questionable prospects for her future.
Not anymore, anyway.
Anna doesn't get to sleep in the comfortable bed she's been bumming off her parents for the past twenty two years anymore. Now the co-ed wanna-be punk princess has been transported to a far-off land with no way back home in sight, where the battery charge for her iPhone would die in a day if it weren't for plot contrivances. Thanks to her modern clothes and back-pack full of unknown doohickeys, to the locals she's some kind of crazy magic woman. Maybe they think she's a witch who needs to be destroyed, or the savior their little village has been waiting for all along.
It could be that she's back in the Middle Ages, in a low or high fantasy world where real magic does exist, or even in some weird post-apocalyptic future where everything got burned back to peasant-times or an entirely alien world that just happens to be kinda low tech, or even something akin to full-on Flash Gordon sci-fi pulp. Any which way, it's not going to be easy for her.
She's snarky. She's used to nicer digs. She thinks it's cool to alarm and surprise the low-minded folks who think she's some kind of sorceress. She's not going to make it all that easy for herself to get home, but that's her plan, stan.
The Heroine's Journey: Turns out there's something to this questing thing after all. There's an honest to god prophecy, a great evil to be stopped, and how-do-you-do, a hunky guide or two to help Anna navigate this strange new world in her quest to liberate an oppressed peoples and find her way back to the modern day.
Going Native: Then again, maybe there's nothin' quite so convenient as a portal that's going to get Anna back to her happy little home life, or she's just not able to reach it before it closes forever. That means that at least until she gets another chance or figures out how to get over her situation, she's gonna have to figure out how the forge a life for herself in this strange new world. Hell, parlor tricks with a lighter are worth a couple of coins at least, right? Plus, there's no shortage of princes to try to convince to woo her.
Well, this Sucks: .. and on the third hand, well, a gal who's used to the finer things in life isn't going to be at the top of her game when she's faced with a big, savage world that's not impressed by her bassline. You know, when Anna woke up one morning, she didn't say "today's the first day of the rest of my life as an orc sex slave", but we don't always get the future we expected, do we?
Alternatively, and just as validly, I also just feel like Anna getting dropped/lost/quested into a goblin camp or cave and there being pussy back on the menu tonight, alright?
Mostly, importantly, I wanna play with short, hung assholes who want to treat her like crap, so lurid misogyny and egos as big as they are small are the order of the day. Goblins, vulpines, kobolds, badass pixies, they all work. Ideal fantasy world set-up for this one for me is one wherein humans are rare or non-existent/extinct, making her a particular prize and/or in danger just by virtue of being unique, making her all the more prone to needing to stick to the first opportunistic prick(s) who claims they can help her navigate the world. Or just chain her to some rocks and make more humans.
* Big dicks and the sucking of them, lucky you
-- Related: swallowing, throatfucking, facefucking. Treat her like she can live on cum. It's a fantasy world, maybe she can. Maybe she has to. I don't know, I just write elaborate wrappers around ridiculous smut.
* Derring do and perilous situations
-- Bonus points if she seems to be getting her clothes ripped off thanks to these at an absurd rate.
* Happy Endings
-- And Anna lived happily ever after as the Princess of Richtown beside King Hotpants, the end.
* Bad Endings
-- .. oh wait, no, she got fucked by goblins in the Fuck Mines for the rest of her life.
* Somewhere In Between Endings
-- But wait, King Hotpants saved her from the Fuck Mines! I mean, he needed a concubine after all. .. eh, it's still getting to live in a sweet palace.
* Big tits and the having of them, lucky you.
-- I picked Kat Dennings as Anna's PB because I love her, but also because c'mon, you wanna play with them. Be my guest.
* Risk of Pregnancy
-- "What is this 'rubber' you speak of, m'lady?"
* Big, strapping, hulking, muscular, sexy dudes.
-- I've got a type and that type is CONAN THE FUCKING BARBARIAN. And pretty elves. I can be negotiated with.
* But also tiny clever horny dudes.
-- You know, goblins and kobolds and the like who somehow manage to subdue or woo (or both!) the “big girl” to the praise and wonder of their peers and rivals and the jealous Conan types.
* Magic
-- I know it's vague, wanna fight about it? Magic unrealistic shit happening is why I'm not playing Anna getting drunk at a bar.
* Monsters and unique races and such
-- Centaurs, orcs, cerberuses, goblins, kobolds, minotaurs, dragons .. look, I'm not saying that Anna's DTF cross-species but
* DTF Cross-Species
-- Oh, yeah I am.
* Sexy sexy sex times.
-- I guess I should point out sometime that I'm looking for like, overriding smut over focusing entirely on the plottiness of everything, huh? This is about sex.
* Cocksucking big old cocks.
-- Oh, I'm starting to repeat myself. Guess I better wrap this up.
* Fuck her brutally in the ass.
-- Seriously? Poop comes out of there.
* Speaking of which
-- Just no.
* Be a no-nonsense, serious, darkevil mammajamma.
-- Let me be clear that I love evil wicked bad-guy villain types as much as charming hero types, but have a sense of humor about it.
* Tickle, lickle, or pickle her feet.
-- Feet are weird. You're weird. Go away. Yes, you.
By the way, both of those lists? Can and prolly will be edited with extreme prejudice since I literally always forget that I'm cool with something or not cool with something until someone brings it up to me, so be understanding in this initial period, k? If it's not on there? Sure, bring it up. I'm down with water sports. Want to have a dragon eat her, you vore weirdo? Sounds cool to me, and I mean weirdo in the most nonjudgmental way. I'm game for anything as long as it a.) doesn't actively turn me off and b.) makes for an interesting scene, so hey, if I didn't already scare you off ..
PM me, you horny dorks.
Oh, and a note on my availability: I post when I can. Some days and weeks that's a lot, sometimes it's not. Please leave the stalkyness at the door and we'll get along just fine. You can always shoot me a PM here if you just wanna pick my brain or shoot the shit, too, though without play on the line I can't promise I'll be hooked 5eva.
She wasn't. She hadn't been in Kansas, anyway, and she didn't have a dog named Toto, so the whole damn thing was a wash right from the beginning. As it turns out, pop culture references aren't actually a solution to every problem, no matter how much everything start to look like a nail when all you have is a hammer.
Regardless, Anna Williams definitely was not in Kansas. She also wasn't in Indianapolis anymore, where she'd actually been before what she would come to refer to scientifically as the "kinda flashy lighty blacky-outy event" happened all over her life. Before said event, Anna had been havin' a pretty good life. She played bass for a shitty band that got paid in drink tabs. She got her drink tabs paid. She had friends who were only total assholes behind her back on Facebook every other weekend instead of every damn day. She was pretty cool with her mom and her dad and her kid brother. She was honestly (probably, someday, maybe) lookin' like she might be on her path to an okay degree in PoliSci, whatever it would do for her in the end. She might not have had a boyfriend, but she had a couple of boys who didn't actually know that until the day she might've fucked up and double-booked two of them. Life? Pretty good.
Waking up in a deserted field by the thunderous hooves of the horse-drawn carriage racing past the dusty old trail next to said field? That was definitely not pretty good. Hiking a good hour or so with a heavy-ass back-pack and her bass slung over her shoulder only to find that rather than the sprawling Indiana metropolis she'd been expecting, the nearest town was a hovel of peasantry, horse crap, and Renn faire rejects who took one look at her leather jacket and doc martens and declared her some kind of witch?
.. well, that was pretty cool, but she didn't really want to admit it until she was sure she was actually dreaming.
It's not every night that you expect to go get shit-faced at a gig in a hole-in-the-wall little nothing of a bar and end up being a stranger in a strange land, but hey, Anna wasn't just any average twenty-somethin' chick with questionable prospects for her future.
Not anymore, anyway.
The Dealio
Anna doesn't get to sleep in the comfortable bed she's been bumming off her parents for the past twenty two years anymore. Now the co-ed wanna-be punk princess has been transported to a far-off land with no way back home in sight, where the battery charge for her iPhone would die in a day if it weren't for plot contrivances. Thanks to her modern clothes and back-pack full of unknown doohickeys, to the locals she's some kind of crazy magic woman. Maybe they think she's a witch who needs to be destroyed, or the savior their little village has been waiting for all along.
It could be that she's back in the Middle Ages, in a low or high fantasy world where real magic does exist, or even in some weird post-apocalyptic future where everything got burned back to peasant-times or an entirely alien world that just happens to be kinda low tech, or even something akin to full-on Flash Gordon sci-fi pulp. Any which way, it's not going to be easy for her.
She's snarky. She's used to nicer digs. She thinks it's cool to alarm and surprise the low-minded folks who think she's some kind of sorceress. She's not going to make it all that easy for herself to get home, but that's her plan, stan.
Plotbunnies
The Heroine's Journey: Turns out there's something to this questing thing after all. There's an honest to god prophecy, a great evil to be stopped, and how-do-you-do, a hunky guide or two to help Anna navigate this strange new world in her quest to liberate an oppressed peoples and find her way back to the modern day.
Going Native: Then again, maybe there's nothin' quite so convenient as a portal that's going to get Anna back to her happy little home life, or she's just not able to reach it before it closes forever. That means that at least until she gets another chance or figures out how to get over her situation, she's gonna have to figure out how the forge a life for herself in this strange new world. Hell, parlor tricks with a lighter are worth a couple of coins at least, right? Plus, there's no shortage of princes to try to convince to woo her.
Well, this Sucks: .. and on the third hand, well, a gal who's used to the finer things in life isn't going to be at the top of her game when she's faced with a big, savage world that's not impressed by her bassline. You know, when Anna woke up one morning, she didn't say "today's the first day of the rest of my life as an orc sex slave", but we don't always get the future we expected, do we?
THE CURRENT CRAVING
I wanna play with a smug, sleazy shortstack -- or a bunch of them. One of two ways; Anna's taking her first real "quest" in the fantasy world, stopping at your usual tavern with some folks who need some help or a board full of problems, but she ends up getting some advice from a local who wants to help out: a greedy little goblin mage or rogue type who might have just what she needs, but she's gotta follow some ground rules of the world if she wants to fit in. Obviously in this case, the way she "fits in" is by pretending to be his cowed human sex slave so that no one messes with her because she's already taken, and doing absolutely everything he says if she doesn't want there to be trouble. Look, it's a brand new world, who knows the rules: him who's been around the block, or her stupid weird human ass?
Alternatively, and just as validly, I also just feel like Anna getting dropped/lost/quested into a goblin camp or cave and there being pussy back on the menu tonight, alright?
Mostly, importantly, I wanna play with short, hung assholes who want to treat her like crap, so lurid misogyny and egos as big as they are small are the order of the day. Goblins, vulpines, kobolds, badass pixies, they all work. Ideal fantasy world set-up for this one for me is one wherein humans are rare or non-existent/extinct, making her a particular prize and/or in danger just by virtue of being unique, making her all the more prone to needing to stick to the first opportunistic prick(s) who claims they can help her navigate the world. Or just chain her to some rocks and make more humans.
Good girls don't have kinks
.. but I guess that's not relevant to this thread, now is it?
.. but I guess that's not relevant to this thread, now is it?
* Big dicks and the sucking of them, lucky you
-- Related: swallowing, throatfucking, facefucking. Treat her like she can live on cum. It's a fantasy world, maybe she can. Maybe she has to. I don't know, I just write elaborate wrappers around ridiculous smut.
* Derring do and perilous situations
-- Bonus points if she seems to be getting her clothes ripped off thanks to these at an absurd rate.
* Happy Endings
-- And Anna lived happily ever after as the Princess of Richtown beside King Hotpants, the end.
* Bad Endings
-- .. oh wait, no, she got fucked by goblins in the Fuck Mines for the rest of her life.
* Somewhere In Between Endings
-- But wait, King Hotpants saved her from the Fuck Mines! I mean, he needed a concubine after all. .. eh, it's still getting to live in a sweet palace.
* Big tits and the having of them, lucky you.
-- I picked Kat Dennings as Anna's PB because I love her, but also because c'mon, you wanna play with them. Be my guest.
* Risk of Pregnancy
-- "What is this 'rubber' you speak of, m'lady?"
* Big, strapping, hulking, muscular, sexy dudes.
-- I've got a type and that type is CONAN THE FUCKING BARBARIAN. And pretty elves. I can be negotiated with.
* But also tiny clever horny dudes.
-- You know, goblins and kobolds and the like who somehow manage to subdue or woo (or both!) the “big girl” to the praise and wonder of their peers and rivals and the jealous Conan types.
* Magic
-- I know it's vague, wanna fight about it? Magic unrealistic shit happening is why I'm not playing Anna getting drunk at a bar.
* Monsters and unique races and such
-- Centaurs, orcs, cerberuses, goblins, kobolds, minotaurs, dragons .. look, I'm not saying that Anna's DTF cross-species but
* DTF Cross-Species
-- Oh, yeah I am.
* Sexy sexy sex times.
-- I guess I should point out sometime that I'm looking for like, overriding smut over focusing entirely on the plottiness of everything, huh? This is about sex.
* Cocksucking big old cocks.
-- Oh, I'm starting to repeat myself. Guess I better wrap this up.
Please, don't.
* Fuck her brutally in the ass.
-- Seriously? Poop comes out of there.
* Speaking of which
-- Just no.
* Be a no-nonsense, serious, darkevil mammajamma.
-- Let me be clear that I love evil wicked bad-guy villain types as much as charming hero types, but have a sense of humor about it.
* Tickle, lickle, or pickle her feet.
-- Feet are weird. You're weird. Go away. Yes, you.
By the way, both of those lists? Can and prolly will be edited with extreme prejudice since I literally always forget that I'm cool with something or not cool with something until someone brings it up to me, so be understanding in this initial period, k? If it's not on there? Sure, bring it up. I'm down with water sports. Want to have a dragon eat her, you vore weirdo? Sounds cool to me, and I mean weirdo in the most nonjudgmental way. I'm game for anything as long as it a.) doesn't actively turn me off and b.) makes for an interesting scene, so hey, if I didn't already scare you off ..
PM me, you horny dorks.
Oh, and a note on my availability: I post when I can. Some days and weeks that's a lot, sometimes it's not. Please leave the stalkyness at the door and we'll get along just fine. You can always shoot me a PM here if you just wanna pick my brain or shoot the shit, too, though without play on the line I can't promise I'll be hooked 5eva.
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