Genders and request threads

[Karameida]

@ Erebus - Generally speaking it actually doesn't deter those types of messages. Because -again generally speaking- the people who send those types of messages don't read peoples Request Threads anyway. They just shoot off a message and hope for the best. So it doesn't really deter those kinds of people.

But it can deter people who have taken the time to read your thread and were initially interested in writing with you.

Only reason I haven't changed mine to sound less Elitist is because I haven't been actively looking for more RPs. Its been like over a year since I even bumped it. Maybe longer. I have my stories going and they are about all I can handle. If at some point I do decide to bump my thread to look for more I'll likely try and re-word it to sound less Elitist. Because I'm not an elitist, I don't want to become an elitist and don't want people thinking I'm an Elitist. And I tend to avoid the Elitist types as well because, to be honest the ones who are truly Elitist bother me. Not saying you are, just saying that truly Elitist people bug me.

As for simply sending someone a message asking them about it, yes it is something you can do. But as I did state just adding it in to your RT would save both parties time. If they had it in the thread then you'll know right off if it'll work. If they don't you do spend time sending them the message, waiting for them to respond. And while not too long -sometimes it can be awhile- it is extra time wasted doing something that could've been avoided altogether had it simply been stated in the thread.

And thats if they decide to respond. Some just choose to outright ignore them. And while you're probably better off not writing with them if they are going to be like that its still time that has been wasted.

Request Threads are there to make finding partners easier. Listing what you do, do not like. What you want. Personal rules and so on and so forth. To cut all that out when you message someone. So you don't spend unnecessary time messaging someone about a RP only to find out you don't mesh well or like/want different things. And since that is what its there for it would make sense to add in pairings and the like

Its not a rule or anything. Its just something to make searching for partners a bit easier thats all. It is very useful for saving time when looking for a partner. It took me a year to finally make a Request Thread of my own and the time saved even back then before I knew what all I did/did not want it still saved me and the other person a lot of time. Thats all I'm trying to say.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

What's this with calling things elitist? It is okay to have a personal standard. Or are you talking about when people have dealt with poor approaches and bad chemistries before and they get mad and that tone enters their request thread? Like, right away, there's this accusatory and dismissive tone, like they're bitter about having to state so blatantly what they don't want in a partner? As if everybody is like that, or we should automatically assume that standard and preference from them, being strangers and all. Then yeah, I agree. The req thread is no place to rant; it's about opening a conversation and making finding compatibility as easy as possible. I've been turned off many times by req threads where you can feel the bad experience they've had but it makes it sound like somebody hissing and growling out an order, "Fine! Fuck! I want a muffin! BLUE-berry! omfg! Not stale but fresh! Do you get that? Early fucking morning fiber!" It's like wow, are you sure you really want it? Ya sound kinda mad, in the way that having this muffin won't make ya happy. >_>;

And that's generally the impression I'm left with in those types of threads. Not that they don't have a valid complaint about their experiences but that they're so mad about it, they're not having fun with it anymore.

I get that whole "saving time" thing but my own personal experiences are that I don't put weight on one person getting back to me about a story. I try to send out several messages and sift through what I get back, conversation-wise to find the best fit. Funny because people like to stress the importance of saying "no", that it's the right thing to do but then they make these situations where it's as unlikely as possible to be forced to say it to anyone. Then again, I'm very fixated on ideas and cravings, even as flexible about the rest of it as I am, I only ever ask for rp if I have an idea in mind I want to write about or a character I desire to play. And rarely is it vague. I've tried that spontaneous type of story building, on the spot character creation, where you see someone else's plot and you envision a character to fit into that dynamic. It doesn't usually work out for me. A lot of people make a req thread filled with everything to just get anyone to play and I suppose that is cool if you're not sure what you want to do but it can lead to a lot of that fixation error or where the necessity to add "what I'm currently craving". That should just be the title of the thread and the topic, eh? Edit it or change what's in it as new cravings come up.

So, I guess what I'm saying is, in these types of scenarios, I'm the one with a very direct idea in mind if I'm messaging people and asking them about an rp, like I know who I'm going to play as but I leave it as open as possible for possible partners to figure out their own characters and I've got a basic outline and impression of the story already in my head(just waiting for them to fill in the missing pieces with their own chara). My kinks are kind of all over the place as well. So any planning conversations I have, they're more like a transaction and mostly geared towards finding chemistry with a writer first and foremost rather than developing a story from scratch right there and then.

[disclaimer= this post is on topic for the current aspect of the conversation but not necessarily in line with the opening post or what this thread was originally about. Also, this post is based upon and offering a perspective from my own personal experiences and should not be taken as the ultimate authority on the subject or as a declaration of The One true and right way to do things.]​