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Xana writes (and bitches probably.) Comments Welcome!

:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: I once had an erotic short story of mine published in a german BDSM magazine. THE german BDSM magazine, the "Schlagzeilen". And I was kind of active in the BDSM community back then, so when I went to the "regulars table" the day after I had gotten my voucher copy from the publisher.... I had the copy in my bag. And was like. "oooooooooh my god OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.. I am PUBLISHED Woop a dooop dooop. I will place the copy with my photo open on the table so you can all see that... I AM PUBLISHED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! OH MY GOD what if anybody of them READ the story? OH MY GOD they will ALL hate it. It's crap. I will NOT go to the regulars table ever again. I need to hide under a stone."
I did NOT pull out the copy. The "regular's table's "boss"" was like "ooooh look, here comes our local celeb!" and I was like: "STFU, Im SO embarassed!"
 
Yeah, I completely understand that feels by.

Also, I misread the magazine title as ‘Shagzeilen’, which seemed funny.
 
Ahahahaha.... the correct translation would be "headlines" but literally "Schlagzeilen" translates as "Spanking/Beating lines". *stops derailing Xana's thread for now. Just for now though*
 
Opted for a Clara chapter, trying to juxtapose her confession to her friends with Ari's confession to Justine last chapter. As well as juxtaposing the way she seeks comfort in sex with the way Ari does in the next chapter. Still debating whether I should end the chapter proper, or just leave it on the climax (lol pun), but I am satisfied for now.
 
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Opted for a Clara chapter, trying to juxtapose her confession to her friends with Ari's confession to Justine last chapter. As well as juxtaposing the way she seeks comfort in sex with the way Ari does in the next chapter. Still debating whether I should end the chapter proper, or just leave it on the climax (lol pun), but I am satisfied for now.

So is Clara.

*rimshot*
 
Today, Xana bitches about stock art.

Since I have been working on covers for my novel, I have been looking through tons of stock images, to find something that fits my story without breaking my budget. What I have learned is that it is damn hard to find tough, woman warrior images. Especially ones holding a weapon or wearing armor (even bad, overly sexualized armor). Add the fact I want something that sort of looks like the characters in my work, and it's near impossible. Still, I found a few that are close, but I want to take a few moments to bitch about them.

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So this one I found that sort of looks like Ari, except Ari's build is bigger, stronger. While she does use a sword at times, it's not her primary weapon. I could possibly switch out the sword for a spear, but that is not a spear-wielding pose. It's barely a sword-wielding pose. I am not a fan of the fact she barely has anything on (the next image shows she is in a chainmail bikini) but, considering the strong erotic-romance element running through the novel, it could be a good fit, marketing wise. Besides, for the number of naked fight scene I have, I might be a bit of a hypocrite to complain about inappropriate combat attire.

(Now I am imaging rewriting the scene where Matthias strips Ari, but instead of ending up naked, he rips her chainmail to be sexy.)










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Another image I was considering using for Ari, especially since in this pose, it would be much easier to change the sword into a spear. It even looks like a spear-wielding pose. But it's not a strong pose, and the model looks so unsure.













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This model is so much better. I love how strong the pose is, and how strong she looks, much closer to the build I imagine for Ari. While the outfit isn't great, it approximates armor much better than the last model's. However, the blonde hair is the main thing that prevents me from using this one. While I can change the hair color, blonde doesn't translate well to black (as you can see on the next model).












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This is a model I selected for Clara, but I am not terribly happy with it. No armor, and wrong color hair. I tried to change it to better fit, but it's doesn't look great. I do love the pose, fitting with the image of beseeching.















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Here is another option I am considering for Clara. Still in a dress, but at least she has armor on. The pose isn't as strong as I would like, but it's not bad. Still the wrong hair color, but was much easier to change to a shade of black.














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Same model as the last, because I haven't started on editing this one yet. I love her hair color, but it's just not right for Clara. Though, it does make me wonder if its too much work now to go back and change Clara's hair color to red.
 
“Should I bring the bassinet up here?” Quentin asked, flicking switches on the Scrapper’s console as they descended into Zeltron airspace. He half turned to face her, “You know, in case your arms get tired.” Artificial gravity created by the ship gave way to the planet’s natural gravity, and Mara stirred, before finally blinking awake.

Kaydia spared him a moment’s glance, before turning her attention back to Mara. “I don’t ever want to let her go.”

“I would think that after 9 months, you would want a break from carrying her.” Quentin eased the ship towards the berthing pit, “Besides, I want to hold her too.”

“Well, I suppose I can hand her over.” She nuzzled Mara, planting feather-light kisses on her nose, before flashing Quentin a smirk, “Next time she needs a change, that is.”

Zeltron space control crackled through the speakers, giving Quentin landing instructions. Kaydia tuned out the noise and stared out the blast-shield window, taking in the sprawling ecumenopolis spreading out beneath them. She’d enjoyed visiting Zeltron in the past, but now she was going to have to accept it as her home. It was a minor thing, everything else considered. A place where she could have her family, her Quentin and her Mara, and they could be safe. It could have been far worse.

Turning her thoughts toward their new life, Kaydia asked, “So, who am I now?”

“Taia Eldrei.” The syllables dripped like honey from his lips, as if they might melt on his tongue.

She hummed into her closed mouth and nodded. “It’s pretty. Did you pick it out?”

“Yeah. I hope you don’t mind. I needed to have everything ready before I could get you out,”

“No, I like it. And you’re the one who’s going to be calling it out in bed.” She joined Quentin in laughing, before opening her mind to his. Besides, we will always be Kaydia and Quentin here, right?

His thoughts enveloped hers, so warm and familiar she couldn’t help but shudder. Always, Kaydia. For several moments, she basked in the silence between them. Silence filled with Mara’s breathing and the whirring of the Scrapper’s engine and the quiet contentment of Quentin’s heartbeat. His presence, and Mara’s too, was enough to soothe her. There is passion, yet there is peace.

But she’d had enough of silent peace, so she moved back towards passion. She’d missed so much these past few months. “Speaking of which, I am rather looking forward to testing out your new name. Once there damn stitches heal.”

His amusement came through their bond. “I am not in any rush.”

“Who’s talking about you?” Kaydia snickered. “I know you aren’t in any rush; I can feel your memories. But I’ve missed your touch. And everything that goes along with it.”

“And you’ll know it, and more once you’ve healed.” The promise carried on his word made her skin tingle and her stomach flutter.

Kaydia stood in the doorway between the bathroom and the bedroom, toweling her hair dry. Her nude skin was still slightly damp, but it was a blessing against the humid Zeltron evening, and she decided against a nightgown. Besides, she wasn’t in any hurry to get to bed. Not with Quentin cradling Mara and humming a soft lullaby.

I can feel your eyes on me, he whispered on the force, still singing and swaying with their daughter.

And I can feel that you don’t mind so much. Bare feet padded across the wood floors, until she was behind him, and then pressed her naked body against his. I am not sure you have ever looked sexier.

A small laugh reached her through their bond, Really?

Yeah, you are already an amazing father. She let her eyes trail over his figure, shirtless, with loose pants that hung just below his hips. And, well, showing skin isn’t hurting either.

Quentin eased Mara down into the crib and planted a kiss on her forehead. Kaydia shifted beside him, offering their daughter another goodnight kiss, before leaning into his side. His arm went around her shoulder, still warm from having held Mara, and Kaydia thought her heart might burst.

“I can’t believe I thought you were dead just a month ago,” Quentin confessed, pulling her closer and kissing her head. “And now…you’re alive, and we’re a family.” Gentle fingers cupped her face, turning it so he could meet her eyes. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find you this time.”

“Don’t be,” Kaydia insisted, too content to think back to her imprisonment. “You were there when I needed you. You didn’t let me down.”
Continued from here.
 
One of these days, I will stop making covers, and actually work on the books. Today is not that day.


Click for full size.
 
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Okay, so I am pretty proud of how this turned out, especially the new hook. That was worth the two days it drove me crazy. I am a bit worried this might make Jeoram seem too important, but perhaps humanizing him here will make his later actions even more shocking and stomach turning? Hoping this little insight into Aurianna, before thrusting her into battle, sheds more light on her character, and endears her to readers more.
 
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Aurianna spent her life fighting. It was her calling, her purpose. If only it were so easy to fight fate.

I’d suggest cutting this line and saving it for the cover. Just kick right off with some action. Besides, you touch on her sense of destiny later in the scene.

Otherwise, awesome work! (Like always.)
 
I’d suggest cutting this line and saving it for the cover. Just kick right off with some action. Besides, you touch on her sense of destiny later in the scene.
Okay, I wanted to be really mad at this, because it took me two goddamn days to come up with that line, and I was really proud of it. And dammit, you're right, it is a better tagline than hook. But that means I need another hook, and fuck, I have no idea.

So, after bouncing a couple ideas of @Mr Quixotic, I came up with this:
Decades-old guilt guided Aurianna’s spear, each strike and thrust piercing through the heart of prophecy. Each parry and dodge seeking to avoid a dreadful future.

Damn, I love it. So thanks for making go back to the drawing board to come up with something new. and thanks again to Quix for being a sounding board.

***​
Pantheon for a world that still needs a name. I guess I have a new thing to brainstorm. (His Redemption, Voyage of the Silken Siren, Ascension to the Heavens\Descent into Hell and In the Shadow of the Dragon.)

Primary Gods

Afodisia, the goddess of love and war, plays a prominent role in Fallen from Grace (His Redemption) and Ascension to the Heavens|Descent into Hell. Afodisia leads the paladins on the frontlines of the war with the demons, and is mate to Verrier, the Godslayer.

Verrier, the Godslayer. Not a god, but a dragon, born of the primordial chaos. When the earth was young, gods and dragons fought over dominion over the world. While both dragons and gods fell in the war, this conflict became known as the Dragonsfall War, as Dragons suffered far more causalities.

Edana, Afodisia’s sister-daughter, is the Goddess of pleasure, and plays a major role in Voyage of the Silken Siren, as her temples serve as sanctuaries for trafficked men and women escaping slavery and servitude.

Other Gods:

Baaltecer, the god of freedom and knowledge. Hell was created to be a prison for him, by Thanades, when he shared divine wisdom with humans, to free them from servitude to the gods.

Malovar, the balancer. Fell in the Dragonsfall war, one of Verrier’s casualties.

Ahkimin, the god of judgment. Formerly Afodisia’s brother-husband, fell in the Dragonsfall war, one of Verrier’s casualties.

Verdan, the god of nature. Slain by Afodisia, his sister, for trying to restart the Dragonsfall war.

Illisia, the Goddess of dreams.

Athera, Goddess of creation, known as the Infinite Mother. The first god, along with Thanades, when they separated from the perfect embodiment of order. She leads heaven, since Thanades’ demise.

Thanades, God of destruction. The first god, along with Athera. He was obsessed with remerging with his sister, to return to the perfect state of order. In order to prevent this, Athera created more gods, to populate the heavens, so Thanades could not accomplish his goal of absorbing all divine power. In turn, Thanades clung to destruction and annihilation, willing to destroy everything to reclaim his perfect form.

Thanades started the Dragonsfall war, to destroy the taint of primordial chaos that disrupts primordial order. Towards the end of the Dragonsfall, as Afodisia and Verrier came together to end the bloodshed and create peace, Thanades lead the angelic hosts into hell, to continue fighting his bloody war. The angels that followed Thanades became corrupted by his influence, and became demons. At the end of the Dragonsfall war, Afodisia and Verrier teamed up to slay Thanades.

When he fell, Afodisia took up the mantle of war, to prevent anyone else from reigniting the Dragonsfall war. However, Thanades death tore a hole between the material world and hell, allowing the demons to invade the material realm, and corrupt it into a new version of hell. Demons share Thanades’ ravenous hunger, seeking to enslave and corrupt humanity.
 
Okay, I wanted to be really mad at this, because it took me two goddamn days to come up with that line, and I was really proud of it. And dammit, you're right, it is a better tagline than hook. But that means I need another hook, and fuck, I have no idea

Your replacement was really good, though. You and Mr. Quixotic nailed it, I think.

And, yeah. Being edited sucks. I’m always like “leave my baby alone!!!!” when it happens to me. Even when the edits make the story better.

Esoecially when the edits make the story better, actually. Go figure.
 
Okay, I wanted to be really mad at this, because it took me two goddamn days to come up with that line, and I was really proud of it. And dammit, you're right, it is a better tagline than hook. But that means I need another hook, and fuck, I have no idea.

So, after bouncing a couple ideas of @Mr Quixotic, I came up with this:

Damn, I love it. So thanks for making go back to the drawing board to come up with something new. and thanks again to Quix for being a sounding board.

No worries at all, glad I could help in some small way. Especially as I'd found myself nodding at Corsair's (sorry for dropping the 'The'!) suggestion on your original, thinking, "Actually, yep, that does sound like an awesome idea; it would make a great tagline for the cover."
 
Okay, finished up another chapter. My biggest issue was whether I needed the sex scene here, since it is pretty similar to the sex scene between Matthias and Ari a few chapters back. But I think it is important to compare and contrast how Ari relates to her fellow paladins, versus how she relates to Matthias. Plus, it is the one thing I do rather well, so gotta keep the fans happy. ;)
 
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Some text posts that remind me of my characters or their relationships.

Mara and Luke
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Astrid
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(Fits for Clara and Aurelia too)
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(Again, fits for Clara and Aurelia too.)

Hilda
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Aurelia
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Aurelia and Yusef
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Aurianna
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Matthias and Aurianna (this almost happened word for word in the rp)
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Mykel and Eva
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Kaydia
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Marta
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So I got some really shitty news recently. I have been struggling with health issues all year and In June of this year I went in for surgery that was supposed to solve the issue. At the time, surgery went well, and and I was able to be released from the hospital early. Unfortunately, it did not solve the issue, and now I have learned that I am unable to go back to my job. Which I am taking really hard because I loved my job. With this health issue, I am not sure what, if any, job I am going to be able to do and I am freaking out more than a little bit. I have the option of going on disability leave, but it's a big pay cut.

I don't know if this is going to affect my writing. It could either slow my replies to crawl as depression consumes me, or it will drive me to write like crazy in distraction. I just needed to get this off my chest.
 
Damnit. I want to say something sympathetic and comforting, but can’t think of a single thing that doesn’t sound trite.

I hope things start going better for you.
 
I finished the wrap around cover for the paperback of To Betray a Master. (click for full size) Once Amazon approves it I am going to order a proof copy. :giggle:


Also, I sold a copy of the short story, even though it's available for free? I don't get it, but whatever, I'll take it. :love:

Is it too soon to call myself an author?
 
So I edited three more chapters of To Beseech the Godslayer and am aiming to finish 6 more chapters before the end of the month. Word count wise, I am half done with the book, so I feel pretty good about my ability to complete it before January. Though I will probably do another round of edits, but those will mostly be touch ups. A few sections have some wonky paving, so that is the biggest thing I want to fix. Anyways, I'll keep these sections up until mid-December, once I figure out preorders for book 2.

In addition, I made the wraparound cover for To Beseech the Godslayer, and I am pretty proud of it. Click for full size, and ignore the blurb because I haven't written it yet, so I used a test generator just to see what the back cover would look like with text. It's literal nonsense.

 
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Got another chapter done! Little over half done now.
 
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I sold five copies of To Betray a Master in November which may not be much, but I am extremely proud of, especially since I had no marketing budget. Truth be told, I am not really expecting sales to pick up until the next book is out atleast, if not the entire series.

I did already get my first review on Amazon, which is awesome. I am hoping a few more come through over the next few weeks.
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Also, my paperback copy came in! It's so big (that's what she said), and it's looks great and feels amazing in my hands. Now I have to figure out how to make *~aesthetic~* pictures with it, for marketing. And will probably have to figure out an Instagram account too.






And finally I ended up editing 7 chapters of To Beseech the Godslayer. Not as many as I hoped I would get to, but I am still on pace to finish in time for a January release. Might just end up a late January release.
 
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I wrote a little something to scratch an itch. I'm not sure it's a route I want to go in, but it's funny, and was fun to write.

“I’m pregnant,” Mercedes admitted, stroking her upper arm with the opposite hand.

Marilyn’s eyes went wide, “Okay, well… at least we know it’s not mine?” Marilyn chuckled, but Mercedes glowered. After a moment, Marilyn cleared her throat, “Sorry, but um …well, do you want to be pregnant?”

Mercedes shrugged, “I dunno. I guess it sorta depends, ya know? On who the father is.”

“That makes sense,” Marilyn agreed with a nod. “So, it’s between who, Will or your husband?” She grimaced at the mention of Vinnie, and Mercedes shared in that distaste. “What, like a fifty-fifty shot it’s not so bad?”

“Well, not quite.” Mercedes bit her lip, but Marilyn’s inquisitive glare demanded explanation. “There is someone else, but it’s complicated.”

“You’re cheating on your husband with his biggest enemy, how much more complicated could it be?”

Mercedes looked down. “Because I am also sleeping with his other biggest enemy. The…” She glanced up at Marilyn now, “The Raven.”

“Oh shit,” Marilyn blinked twice and giggles fell from her lips, “That’s something.” More laughter followed, before Marilyn leaned in, conspiratorially, “So, who is he?”

Mercedes shook her head slowly, “I don’t know.”

“How do you not know?”

“Well, he, uh, kept the mask on, while we…” The explanation trailed off, but the flush on her cheeks gave her meaning away.

“Okay, I can see that.” Marilyn thought for a moment, "So, if it's the Raven's-"

"It could be almost anyone in Chicago." With a deep sigh, Mercedes buried her face in her hands.

"Well, its still not all bad." Marilyn wrapped an arm around Mercedes, and pulled her close. "With that many possibilities, that chance that it's Vinnie's is slim to none."
~*~​

It looks like I may have sold some paperback copies of my book. Maybe. They don't show up until they ship, but I have a handful of free books marked on my sales chart, and that is after the free period was up, so I suspect they happened because I selected to give away free ebooks with paperback purchases. And since those went through after I advertised the paperback to my mailing list, it checks out. Still waiting to see if I clear $20 in profits this month. ;)
 
A quick Christmas story, from the world of His Redemption.

There was a surge of power, and suddenly the great domed arch of the cavern was lit by the golden glow of the two Beings who had just manifested. One held a spear at the ready, the other a long dagger, and both scanned the chamber with burning golden eyes. “What happened?” demanded the Goddess of War.

There was a crunching, metallic sound as the Dragon shifted his weight of the mound of treasure that served him as a bed. “What are you talking about?” he yawned.

“The battle,” the Goddess of War replied. “I could feel it from Afoheim.”

“And you’ve added another trophy,” the Goddess of Love added archly, gesturing at a rack of grinning skulls. “We agreed...”

Verrier shifted his bulk and watched the two Goddesses with faint amusement. “The Godfall War is over. I hunt no more.”

“Then who...” the Goddess of Live started.

“I have no idea,” Verrier interrupted. “Save that he entered my lair unbidden. And I will not tolerate that.”

“No idea?” The Goddess of War peered at the skull. “I... don’t recognize this one.”

“Nor do I,” agreed the Goddess of Love. “Although... I feel that I should.” She turned her attention back to Verrier. Did he say anything?”

Verrier pulled a long red cap with a white tassel onto his head. “Ho. Ho. Ho.”
 
A quick Christmas story, from the world of His Redemption.

There was a surge of power, and suddenly the great domed arch of the cavern was lit by the golden glow of the two Beings who had just manifested. One held a spear at the ready, the other a long dagger, and both scanned the chamber with burning golden eyes. “What happened?” demanded the Goddess of War.

There was a crunching, metallic sound as the Dragon shifted his weight of the mound of treasure that served him as a bed. “What are you talking about?” he yawned.

“The battle,” the Goddess of War replied. “I could feel it from Afoheim.”

“And you’ve added another trophy,” the Goddess of Love added archly, gesturing at a rack of grinning skulls. “We agreed...”

Verrier shifted his bulk and watched the two Goddesses with faint amusement. “The Godfall War is over. I hunt no more.”

“Then who...” the Goddess of Live started.

“I have no idea,” Verrier interrupted. “Save that he entered my lair unbidden. And I will not tolerate that.”

“No idea?” The Goddess of War peered at the skull. “I... don’t recognize this one.”

“Nor do I,” agreed the Goddess of Love. “Although... I feel that I should.” She turned her attention back to Verrier. Did he say anything?”

Verrier pulled a long red cap with a white tassel onto his head. “Ho. Ho. Ho.”
:heart::heart::heart: I loved it! And now I need to return the favor and have this Santa visit next. But maybe some posts first?

~*~


View: https://i.imgur.com/8yWv550.png


So getting reviews is like pulling teeth, but I am trying to chalk it up to this being a busy time of year. I did get another goodreads, but it was mixed, and I could only stomach the first paragraph before I had to click away. Someone want tp read it for me and then sum it up to me? What I did read wasn't terrible, and she gave it 4 out 5 stars, and I know why she didn't enjoy the book but it's already a sore spot for me, so I just can't take it head on right now. :(
 
After weeks of waffling on To Beseech the Godslayer I decided to buckle down and work on it, including deciding on a release date, Jan 21st, 2019. Which scares me, because it still needs some work, but I am hoping the pressure with force me to get it done. But, after moving things around and deleting some superfluous stuff, I only have 4 chapters to go, and three weeks to finish it up.

I can do this. I will do this.

In other news, I made a book trailer for To Betray a Master. I am pretty happy with how it's turned out.
 
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