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Forced Love (KolathxNightsorceress)

Lily slept through the night and into the morning. She probably wouldn't have but the doctors gave her something to make her sleep because she was so upset. When she a woke she felt the emotional sting of loosing her child all over again. Lily thought she lost the only good thing in her life and tears rolled freely down her cheeks. She looked around noticed she wasn't in her bed. She was in Alan's, and he was holding her. It shocked her. did he know? did he care?
 
He felt her stiring and slowly woke. His arms stayed around her cuddling her close against her chest. â??Hello my wifeâ?¦how are you doing?â? he leaned over and gently kissing her hair light tears falling from his eyes and he held her close.â?Iâ??m sorry,â? he whispered before she had time to answer his question.
 
Lily turned to look at him. He had tears in his eyes and he apolgized. She didn't know for what. Lily cleared her throat and tried to stop her tears but it was hopeless. "alan, what are you sorry for?" Lily asked softly her voice shaky. she now had a feeling he knew what happen but she wanted to make sure. She hoped he knew, she didn't want to say it out loud.
 
He gently brushed a hand gently over her cheek leaning in and kissing her forehead softly. â??That we lost our first child.â? He looked into her eyes still clearly crying deeply. â??I know that our child was conceived in a moment of anger and drunkenness. I was wrong for doing that too you.â? He gently took her hands looking into her eyes. â??But if youâ??re willing I would like to try to become the husband you deserve so that we can have many beautiful children together.â?
 
Lily let out a soft whimper when he sorry for a the loss of there child. It stung her heart every time she thinks about the little baby that never got to draw its first breath. She knew she had to work past it. she couldn't stay sad forever she knew it would drive her crazy. Lily tried to focus what else he said. "but why Alan, why the sudden change in heart. you made it very clear before i was just a play thing for you, to be used how you see fit" Her words were a bit harsh but she had to get everything out in the open if they were to ever have a chance at being husband and wife.
 
He sighed as she used his own words against him. he had known that he was going to have to convince her that he was truly willing and wanting even to change. He brushed his hand across her cheek smiling at her leaning over kissing her forehead. â??Lily I was a jerk those months ago that we married. As you know I have been being trained to take over for my father and because of that spending a large amount of time with the eldersâ? he sighed looking down taking her hands lightly kissing her knuckles. â??I have been thinking about apologizing and trying to make up for what happened for awhile now. They convinced me I needed to grow up, and this..â? he nodded to his injured shoulder, â??Just made me realize it more.â?
 
Lily looked down and drew a deep breath. "you know that this is not going to be easy alan, I want this to work, i want to be your wife, your friend, hell even your lover some day, But understand i am afraid that you will hurt me, not just physically either." She paused and looked up at him "I just don't want to get hurt anymore. these past few months had i not been pregnant i would have killed myself." Lily bit her lip a little. she wanted to make it clear that this was going to take some time and effort to make things better.
 
He nodded his hands still holding hers but now he looked into her eyes. â??I know Lily, I know this will take time and will not be a easy road.â? His one hand came back up to brush over her cheek lightly pushing a hair back from her face. â??But if you are willing to let me try and prove myself I am willing to walk that road.â? He leaned in and gently kissed her forehead, â??Are you?â?
 
Lily looked at him for a long moment as if she was deep in thought. then she nodded her slightly "i am willing to try Alan. I am very willing to try." Lily then leaned in giving him a a hug. being careful not to hurt his shoulder. Her head rested on his chest.
 
He held her close nuzzling into her hair his hand stroking along her back and side. he leaned back enough to look into her eyes. â??I promise you Lily that this will work out andâ?¦â? he leaned in kissing her cheek. â??We will be able to have more children my wife once I have proven myself and my love to you.â?
 
Lily listen to his words. he was so confident that this worked out he promised her it would. She looked up at him with her head still on his chest. "i hope someday sooner rather than later we can have a child." Lily smiled she hoped he noticed that she was already starting to forgive him. She even started to trust him enough to think about having another baby with him.
 
He held her gently through the sharing meals and time with her. he was not very good at conversation but he tried. The doctors told them that they both needed at least a weeks rest, and though Alan spent most of his time in bed with Lily doing his best to try and start a relationship with her. the rest of his time he spent out away from her working on something as he talked to both master carpenters and masons planning something to help them come closer together.
 
Although the lost of her child still sadden her, Lily found it easier to get through with Alan's help. It comforted her to have him next to her when she thought she might cry again. It help her stay strong. As the week went on she noticed Alan leaving her side more and more, but she figured he was going stir crazy because he had been on bed rest for so long. Lily did get out of bed but she tended not to leave Alan's chambers she wasn't ready to speak to anyone, a side from Alan.
 
Alan came back into their room and smiled coming over and slipping his arms around her waist from behind gently kissing her neck. Things had gotten a little better between them but they still were learning how to be together physically and he knew she would still need time to get used to his touches of love. But there was no question in his mind that he did love her more than he had ever thought he loved anyone. It sickened him every time he thought about what he had done to her but he was learning to make up for his mistakes.
 
Lily was looking at the window thinking about how snow would be covering the ground before they knew it when Alan snuck into the room and wrapped his arms around her. Lily jumped a little but then giggled "well hello there you can give a girl a little warning before sneaking up on her like that" Lily then turned and looked at him. "how was your day dear?"
 
He smiled leaning in and kissing her neck nuzzling softly into it. â??Mmm it was good my wife. Though I do wish that this fool arm would heal so I could do more. He gently brushed his hand long her cheek looking into her eyes smiling. â??Do you know how beautiful you are?â? he couldnâ??t help but think these things just knowing she gave him another chance made him feel so close to her.
 
"your has already healed so much, it will be better before you know it" Lily gently touched his injured arm. "besides you must be able to keep busy since you seem to be gone most of the day" Lily smiled again her vibrant purple eyes locking on his. But then her smile faded a little and she looked down blushing "i am not beautiful"
 
He smiled nuzzling her neck softly before kissing her forehead. â??I love the time best when I can come back to you.â? He smiled his hand brushing along her cheek smiling more. â??You are beautiful that was the first thing I saw when I met you. Even before I realized I loved you I knew you were beautiful.â? He gently kissed her lips smiling, â??and I am sorry about not being around here as much as I would likeâ?¦I just have been working on something.â?
 
Lily smiled softly as he nuzzled her neck. She had begun to long for his touch. She knew she had fully forgiven him, she knew she was starting to love him, and she knew it would not be long before she gave him the chance to get her pregnant again. "oh its ok, i am sure you are busy with learning how to be king and such..." Lily stopped and looked at him "did you just say you loved me?"
 
He smiled and gently brushed his thumb over her lips smiling at her. â??Yes I did.â? He leaned in brushing his lips against hers softly. â??And I do very very much.â? he kissed her deeply his arm wrapping around her waist and the other hand slipping behind he neck holding her against him but not forcing her to stay if she pulled away.
 
Lily smiled and then her arms slipped around him holding him to her. Her lips moved against his kissing him back just as deeply as he was kissing her. She felt a live for the first time in a long time. Lily pulled back looking at him, her lips were redder from their kissing "alan i love you too" she admitted to him softly
 
He smiled wide and leaned back in kissing her deeply again. He gently pulled back from the second kiss and led her over toward the bed they had been sharing. â??Come I wish to hold you and kiss you my wife.â? He gently pulled her closer as he sat on the bed kissing her hands looking up into her eyes. â??My love.â?
 
Lily smiled moved to the bed with him. She looked at him and then took a seat beside him. She was a little afraid though that he might push having sex with her now that she confused that she loved him. Part of her wanted to, but part of her was still afraid. She tried to push the fears from her mind.
 
He lay down gently snuggling his arms around her waist kissing her neck just enjoying being with her. he wasnâ??t planning on pushing sex on her anytime soon or for that matter making the first move toward sex. If they made love she would be the one to start it. his hands gently rubbed her stomach which had born his child not so long ago. He nuzzled into her neck and started softly crying. â??Iâ??m so sorry Lily.â?
 
Lily snuggled down it to him. She loved there closeness. She kissed his cheek softly and sighed happily. She felt his hand touch her now flatter stomach, no longer begin to grown with there child. The she heard his apologize and his tears. Lily turned on her side and looked at him. Her hand came up to gently brush the tears away. "whats the matter my love?"
 
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