Fine......gotta dig this out of my documents.......
First and foremost let me establish one very clear thing, Final Fantasy VII is my personal favorite installment of the Final Fantasy series however I will go as far as to debate against myself that Final Fantasy VI may be an equal or better game. VI and VII are the best two installments in the series. Now that I have gotten this out of the way, there is one major thing that bugs me. Final Fantasy VI has possibly the most generic boring antagonist in any of the Final Fantasy games yet fans seem to clamor to him like heâs some symbol of evil. Thatâs right, I said it, Kefka Palazzo is a stupid fucking villain.
He is just a poor villain for so many reasons and is the weak link in the stellar Final Fantasy VI as well as the weakest of any Final Fantasy villain (Note: I have not played any Final Fantasy beyond FFX). Everyone overlooks these flaws because he at the time was the first Final Fantasy villain who actually achieved world domination, even though there is a giant asterisk by this as well since villainous world domination ploy was mostly set up by Emperor Gestahl in the first place and Kefka simply turned on him once the Warring Triad statues appeared. World domination and the World of Ruin were inevitable once the Floating Continent was raised, Kefka simply replaced Gestahl as a placeholder villain.
1- Heâs A Generic âDestroy and/or Take Over The Worldâ Villain
Seriously. That is it. In one header Iâve just described the entire purpose of Kefka as a villain. He wants to take over the world and kill a bunch of guys. Nothing else, no ulterior motives, no extremely well thought out plot, no idea of what to do after said hostile takeover. He follows a template that everybody from Bowser to Shredder follows.
2- Heâs Just Sort of âThereâ
Sephiroth was such a great villain because so much was established about him before you even saw his face. He was set up as a former war hero and legend that tragically fell into darkness upon learning the truth about his origins and his motives were clear to the player because of this. He was a relatively unconventional villain at the time since Sephiroth was introduced well before the âtragic villainâ template became extremely overused in popular media (Iâm looking at you Sam Raimi and your three Spider-Man movies). Kefka is never given much of an origin or history at all over the course of FF6, all we find out is that he received his powers through a flawed Magicite infusion that fucked up his mind. Beyond that little is known about Kefka except that heâs crazy, and he remains a static character throughout the game and just lingers like a bad case of herpes. The only logical fallback explanation for his diabolical plan is that heâs crazy, which is an explanation that you can use for anybody from Deadpool to Hannibal Lecter. I mean even Sigma from the Mega Man X titles has more back-story and reason than Kefka.
3- Heâs Established As The Main Villain Too Late
As mentioned earlier, Kefka is just sort of âthereâ for a good portion of FF6. Kefka does a couple of minor things that get the storyline going; such as forcing the Slave Crown on Terra and complying with Gestahlâs deception, and poisoning Doma. Beyond these things, he doesnât have too much direct action beyond being Emperor Gestahlâs right hand man. Even when he kills Leo, heâs mainly doing it because heâs still going with a plan Gestahl set up. By the time Kefka really steps it up and we experience the full amount of insanity, the Floating Continent has already been raised and he kicks Gestahl to his death moments after betraying his Emperor. This all happens just beyond the mid way point of the game, which in my opinion is way too late to establish your villain concretely. Emperor Gestahl was pretty well established as the overlord of the whole evil regime coming up to this point and while signs of Kefkaâs betrayal were evident, it was executed at far too late of a point resulting in Kefkaâs takeover being a tad jarring and misplaced. Once Celes awakens in the World of Ruin, Kefka resumes his duty of sitting on his ass doing almost nothing for most of the game until you storm Kefkaâs tower.
4- Heâs A Joker Rip-off
Kefkaâs most memorable features are his jester-like appearance and his laugh, oh and that heâs totally crazy. Does this remind you of anybody? Naw it doesnât remind me of DCâs most popular villain ever⦠no not a bit. He isnât a medieval version of The Joker at all. Plus itâs not like Square has ever borrowed things from other media in the past, yâknow like naming minor characters Biggs and Wedge, a la Star Wars, in four straight games.
5- Heâs Cowardly
Kefka is a complete rank coward. During almost every encounter over the course of Final Fantasy 6 he sends some lower ranked lackeys to take the hit while he flees like a little bitch. The difference between what Kefka does and other villains (Iâll once again reference Sephiroth) is that Kefka willingly sends out others when he could do it himself, a villain such as Sephiroth had to send out Jenova spawns because he was locked inside a fucking chunk of material. Hell, even when he has a confrontation with Leo (a guy whoâs technically on the same side as him) he sends a doppelganger into battle and stabs Leo like a sissy. The only time Kefka actually grows a set is when heâs powered by the Warring Triad statues, which is the equivalent of me saying âI can hit a major league fastballâ as I step to the plate with a 4 foot wide baseball bat with a steroid syringe hanging off my ass. Villains are supposed to be intimidating and strike fear into you, not cowardly like a comic relief. Did Lavos flee when it appeared after Zeal tried tapping into its power? Fuck no, he blew Crono fucking away for simply raising his sword. Did The Joker run like a little bitch when Batman was charging at him on the Batpod? Hell no, Joker screamed âHIT ME!â. Did Stone Cold Steve Austin tap out like a little woman when Bret Hart locked the Sharpshooter on him at WrestleMania 13? No! He didnât give up until he passed out from blood loss, and even after that he walked off on his own power! Iâll go as far as to say Seymour from Final Fantasy X was a better villain than Kefka was, at least Seymour got his hands dirty when he wanted to. Kefka is essentially a crazy version of Dalton from Chrono Trigger.
So there, 5 concrete reasons why Kefka is an extremely stupid villain and the obvious weak link in what otherwise is one of the best Final Fantasy games ever. My rant is now over.
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