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- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
Cat Diaries: Leon and Bourbon
Alien Encounter: Life chapter 1
Leon: Today wasnâ??t a very good day for our owner. She spent most of it sleeping, it what appeared to be a depressed state-
Bourbon: She wasnâ??t depressed! She yelled at me for at least an hour!
Leon: Thatâ??s because you kept trying to eat her chocolate cake! Obviously a clear sign that she was depressed.
Bourbon: â?¦How can you tell?
Leon: Iâ??ve noted in my scientific studies that humans will eat wretched things when feeling a bit stressed.
Bourbon: â?¦ But she eats those round-doughy-turd looking things about every morning.
Leon: Those are cookies, and sheâ??s eaten those for the past three days and nothing else, which proves that my scien-
Bourbon: Anyway, I thought Iâ??d cheer her up with a gift. As she was staring blankly at the wall..
Leon: You? I presented the present, formally.
Bourbon: It only looked formal because youâ??re black and white and therefore, you look like youâ??re wearing a tuxedo.
Leon: Donâ??t bring race into this you raccoon looking feline!
Bourbon: But- you.. Youâ?¦ I
Leon: We presented her with pink panties!
Bourbon: Which I took.
Leon: â?¦They werenâ??t new?
Bourbon: Noâ?¦ I took them from the drawer.
Leon: But, I gave you funds.
Bourbon: We ran out of kitty litter!
Leon: â?¦
Bourbon: I got some grass too.
Leon: Grass?
Bourbon: Nip?
Leon: I certainly am not going to bite-
Bourbon: Cat nip.
Leon: Right.
Bourbon: Upon our presentation we noticed something odd!
Leon: It was an artificial intelligence. Possible on our level of brain activity.
Bourbon: Right, it went like this: I was camouflagedâ?¦
Leon: And he saw something move. He didnâ??t know what it was, so he called me over. â??YOUR GREAT LEON HE SAID!â?
Bourbon: Thatâ??s not what I said!
Leon: Details.
Bourbon: I had found it, under the dark desk of our pet, where she would usually put her feet, curled up in a blanket. I said to him, â??What is it?â?
Leon: I came closer, to see what Bourbon meant. Then I realized, he was talking about the Q-tip he often stole from our pet. â??Itâ??s a Q-tipâ? I says.
Bourbon: But, I said it wasnâ??t. I said, â??Look harder!â?
Leon: I admit to not seeing at first what he meant.
Bourbon: So I had to separate it from the Q-tip, so he could see what I was myself, looking at.
Leon: I was very proud to realize my young student had discovered something amidst our homely environment.
Leon: I stayed back to take notes as my fellow scientist studied it.
Bourbon: Iâ??m the one to the right, look at me go! Why are her shoes laying about? We have to talk to her about that.
Leon: This coming from the cat who pees on towels.
Bourbon: â?¦It started to run.
Leon: Right, it started to run, so we casually followed, to observe it in itâ??s natural state.
Bourbon: I decided we needed to run some tests, discover this alien. Placing the Q-tip next to it, you can see that it was a fairly large specimen.
Leon: Not that we use Q-tips for official measurements, but you have to be resourceful, working in the field.
Bourbon: After some prodding I decided it was dead, I left Leon to watch it as I found a proper place to dispose of it.
Leon: It had a horrible smell, so we decided to burry it within our box.
Bourbon: The litter box.
Leon: But, then we discovered, the creature was indeed intelligent! It had feigned death! So, I had to send Bourbon to do the dirty work and dig through ourâ?¦ unmentionables to fined the critter.
Bourbon: It was horrible, but I did what was expected to me. I stuck my whole head in.
Leon: When we found it, it was still alive. We attempted to interrogate it.
Bourbon: Actually, we decided the best way to communicate was to stare menacing at it.
Leon: Itâ??s a JedI mind trick.
Bourbon: EVENTUALLY, Leon decided to brave the real world and touch the alien, it was meant to be torture for answers, but it came off more consoling
Leon: I had no rubber gloves on hand, thereâ??s no telling what disease that alien had! I mean, you smelled it!
Bourbon: I admit it being fragrant, but it was a bit crunchy, I could tell it had a gushy inside, much like-- Not that I had it in my mouth. That would be unwelcome territory if it was a here for negotiationsâ?¦
Leon: Youâ?¦ disgust me.
Bourbon: Iâ?¦. Iâ?¦..
Leon: Ick, anyway, the creature had a very bad smell. So, I thought if I hit it enough it would stop smelling.
Bourbon: But, it was a coward and decided to try and flee again!
Leon: Thank Goodness Bourbon was there to stop it.
Bourbon: Thatâ??s the nicest thing youâ??ve ever said to meâ?¦
Leon: Oh.. Gee, donâ??t get all kitten on me.
Bourbon: Right right, continue.
Leon: It made a dash for Bourbon, angry at our attempts to find peace, or send it home in pieces.
Bourbon: But, I dodged! Nimbly! And went to get mommy.
Leon: Who killed it with a romance novel.
Bourbon: Leon, do you think we are the only oneâ??s on this planet?
Leon: No, I often hear mumbles from outside the bounds of our world.
Bourbon: Behind the wood door?
Leon: The scientific word is, â??The Door to the Worlds.â?
Bourbon: Thatâ??s a sentence.
Leon: The point is, if aliens can get in, we can get out. We have to time our escape.
Bourbon: To the closet to plot!
Leon: To the closet!
Alien Encounter: Life chapter 1
Leon: Today wasnâ??t a very good day for our owner. She spent most of it sleeping, it what appeared to be a depressed state-
Bourbon: She wasnâ??t depressed! She yelled at me for at least an hour!
Leon: Thatâ??s because you kept trying to eat her chocolate cake! Obviously a clear sign that she was depressed.
Bourbon: â?¦How can you tell?
Leon: Iâ??ve noted in my scientific studies that humans will eat wretched things when feeling a bit stressed.
Bourbon: â?¦ But she eats those round-doughy-turd looking things about every morning.
Leon: Those are cookies, and sheâ??s eaten those for the past three days and nothing else, which proves that my scien-
Bourbon: Anyway, I thought Iâ??d cheer her up with a gift. As she was staring blankly at the wall..
Leon: You? I presented the present, formally.
Bourbon: It only looked formal because youâ??re black and white and therefore, you look like youâ??re wearing a tuxedo.
Leon: Donâ??t bring race into this you raccoon looking feline!
Bourbon: But- you.. Youâ?¦ I
Leon: We presented her with pink panties!
Bourbon: Which I took.
Leon: â?¦They werenâ??t new?
Bourbon: Noâ?¦ I took them from the drawer.
Leon: But, I gave you funds.
Bourbon: We ran out of kitty litter!
Leon: â?¦
Bourbon: I got some grass too.
Leon: Grass?
Bourbon: Nip?
Leon: I certainly am not going to bite-
Bourbon: Cat nip.
Leon: Right.
Bourbon: Upon our presentation we noticed something odd!
Leon: It was an artificial intelligence. Possible on our level of brain activity.
Bourbon: Right, it went like this: I was camouflagedâ?¦
Leon: And he saw something move. He didnâ??t know what it was, so he called me over. â??YOUR GREAT LEON HE SAID!â?
Bourbon: Thatâ??s not what I said!
Leon: Details.
Bourbon: I had found it, under the dark desk of our pet, where she would usually put her feet, curled up in a blanket. I said to him, â??What is it?â?
Leon: I came closer, to see what Bourbon meant. Then I realized, he was talking about the Q-tip he often stole from our pet. â??Itâ??s a Q-tipâ? I says.
Bourbon: But, I said it wasnâ??t. I said, â??Look harder!â?
Leon: I admit to not seeing at first what he meant.
Bourbon: So I had to separate it from the Q-tip, so he could see what I was myself, looking at.
Leon: I was very proud to realize my young student had discovered something amidst our homely environment.
Leon: I stayed back to take notes as my fellow scientist studied it.
Bourbon: Iâ??m the one to the right, look at me go! Why are her shoes laying about? We have to talk to her about that.
Leon: This coming from the cat who pees on towels.
Bourbon: â?¦It started to run.
Leon: Right, it started to run, so we casually followed, to observe it in itâ??s natural state.
Bourbon: I decided we needed to run some tests, discover this alien. Placing the Q-tip next to it, you can see that it was a fairly large specimen.
Leon: Not that we use Q-tips for official measurements, but you have to be resourceful, working in the field.
Bourbon: After some prodding I decided it was dead, I left Leon to watch it as I found a proper place to dispose of it.
Leon: It had a horrible smell, so we decided to burry it within our box.
Bourbon: The litter box.
Leon: But, then we discovered, the creature was indeed intelligent! It had feigned death! So, I had to send Bourbon to do the dirty work and dig through ourâ?¦ unmentionables to fined the critter.
Bourbon: It was horrible, but I did what was expected to me. I stuck my whole head in.
Leon: When we found it, it was still alive. We attempted to interrogate it.
Bourbon: Actually, we decided the best way to communicate was to stare menacing at it.
Leon: Itâ??s a JedI mind trick.
Bourbon: EVENTUALLY, Leon decided to brave the real world and touch the alien, it was meant to be torture for answers, but it came off more consoling
Leon: I had no rubber gloves on hand, thereâ??s no telling what disease that alien had! I mean, you smelled it!
Bourbon: I admit it being fragrant, but it was a bit crunchy, I could tell it had a gushy inside, much like-- Not that I had it in my mouth. That would be unwelcome territory if it was a here for negotiationsâ?¦
Leon: Youâ?¦ disgust me.
Bourbon: Iâ?¦. Iâ?¦..
Leon: Ick, anyway, the creature had a very bad smell. So, I thought if I hit it enough it would stop smelling.
Bourbon: But, it was a coward and decided to try and flee again!
Leon: Thank Goodness Bourbon was there to stop it.
Bourbon: Thatâ??s the nicest thing youâ??ve ever said to meâ?¦
Leon: Oh.. Gee, donâ??t get all kitten on me.
Bourbon: Right right, continue.
Leon: It made a dash for Bourbon, angry at our attempts to find peace, or send it home in pieces.
Bourbon: But, I dodged! Nimbly! And went to get mommy.
Leon: Who killed it with a romance novel.
Bourbon: Leon, do you think we are the only oneâ??s on this planet?
Leon: No, I often hear mumbles from outside the bounds of our world.
Bourbon: Behind the wood door?
Leon: The scientific word is, â??The Door to the Worlds.â?
Bourbon: Thatâ??s a sentence.
Leon: The point is, if aliens can get in, we can get out. We have to time our escape.
Bourbon: To the closet to plot!
Leon: To the closet!
