Being pregnant.
I don't think with my depression that I'll ever be able to actually give birth to a baby; it is one of those things where I've seen myself at my lowest and darkest point and I could not be trusted to venture there again. But you can't be preggers and nurse while on the meds I'm taking to keep that darkness at bay.
Still, I'd love to experience that... a life growing inside me... becoming close to this small budding, flowering soul, craving silly things, being big and getting mooned over and everybody to tell me I'm glowing when I really just feel like a goddamned balloon and my only friend is baby inside me... and then to feel it ripping me apart as it tears it's way out of the firey pits of hell to be born into the world. Okay, maybe not that last part but I totes wanna poop on an operating table and have everyone be cool with that.