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The boy's just no good. {missedstations x HKitten}

Assuming temporary unemployment was the best thing that Nathan could do, and René rather hoped he did reach that conclusion. It was far better than knowing that René's body was for sale to anyone with enough cash. With someone like Nathan, he was almost ashamed of it.

'Thanks for the offer, but I can't...' He paused, embarrassed, but it was better to give a real reason for this, than to make things up. If he made things up, he would have to answer this question again. 'I can't read that well, and I can't write.' Well, he could write, just incredibly badly so he tended to avoid it. Things like writing down his number were fine, but anything more was a stretch. He went bright red and looked away, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward, and wondering what he was doing there.

He stared at the movie for a while, feeling as if he should should leave. Admitting anything personal about himself was hard. But at this point he had cooked dinner for Nathan, there were sharing a sofa with barely inches between them – so he supposed that he should stay. 'I don't really want to talk about it,' he said finally, getting back to his plate to finish eating. A year ago, he would have run almost immediately, but maybe he had learned a bit more since then.
 
Hearing the other male admit to it wasnâ??t surprising, so he rolled his shoulders and bumped it playfully against Renéâ??s. â??Hey, thatâ??s nothing to be ashamed of. You know, if you want, I can teach you how to read and write. Itâ??d be part of my job if I were able to get you hired.â? and he would, because he had some say in the human resourcing department. It came with being an advisor, so he was able to go around and advise many people in the entire company.

The movie in the background seemed to jump into an intense love making scene, of which he had completely ignored the telltale signs. However, when the two main acting stars began to press against each other and reenact such a salacious moment together, he chocked on his mashed potatoes a bit. â??Ah, sorry!â? he reached out and nearly broke the Rover as he knocked against it to turn the thing off and set it to the music section.

â??Sorryâ?¦ didnâ??t order a movie for day, soâ?¦ uhâ?¦ anyways, what do you think?â? Nathan cleared his throat and tried to jump back to topic, as he shuffled the machine around a bit, before picking up his bottle of water to take a long swing. Things just didnâ??t go his way to make a good impression in front of René, when it usually went rather well in front of others. Why he wanted to impress René was another question, but he placed it off as the seeking for friendship outside of his work. The little flutters in his chest and stomach had nothing to do with the slight pinkness to his skin, nor the avid attention he had for the brunette.
 
'I don't need a job,' René replied far more coldly than he intended. He wasn't looking for a job, especially not one with a company which actually looked up the providence of its employees. Sure, Nathan was being nice, but René thought he knew the world a bit better than that. Having spent his life in he world's dirtier holes, René knew how things worked behind the scenes.

He watched Nathan fiddle with the Rover. 'That wasn't what I came here for.' Really, asking Nathan to find him a job would just be trite and cheap. And it wasn't what he wanted at all. He wanted to enjoy this, not use it to get something. He did not want anything from Nathan except company.

He leant forward to put his plate on the table. 'Look, you shouldn't feel sorry for me. Sure, I'm broke, my life sucks, but... Sometimes I really didn't come here because I wanted anything out of you.' He laughed a little. 'Well, I've got to admit I'm lying there. I'd really want a kiss.' That would probably put the uncomfortable situation behind them, at least. He felt a bit weird initiating things, being so far unsure what it was that Nathan wanted, though he did guess that Nathan had probably not been with a man before... It was going to be interesting.
 
Upon the rather snappish reply to his offer, his cheeks drained of all colors. He hadnâ??t meant to offend his guest, but he was just trying to offer a better alternative. Nathan had no idea why he wanted to try and help, despite the fact that René didnâ??t need help. But he thought itâ??d be a nice offer, as the other male seemed to need a stable income. â??Sorry, I hadnâ??t meanâ?¦ I mean, Iâ??ll drop it.â? he muttered, focusing on his plate once more to the suddenly less than warming food.

So it was a shock to him when René admitted to wanting something more than a meal and a job. The sound of â??a kissâ?? made him snap his head up to stare at the brunette with flushed cheeks. â??N-now?â? his voice, of course, did not change pitch in the middle of one word. At least, heâ??d deny it.

Nathan had thought about something similar, as it was rather cliché to ask someone over to their house so soon after meeting. It was like an open invitation into his bed by asking for René to come over; as if he was courting him. But he didnâ??t think it was something that the brunette would have wanted, so he kept those thoughts at bay. Suddenly, things didnâ??t feel so innocent; not that it was a bad thing.

Without thinking and waiting for René to answer, and with eyes screwed shut as if he was diving head first into a punch, he shoved his face forward in an attempt to kiss the other male.
 
René wasn't that offended, really. He just preferred the subject to not be mentioned at all, ever. It was no one's business what he did for a living, or whether he wanted a different job, or the poor quality of his education. He preferred for those things to stay as unknowns, and unimportant. Of course that brand of wishful thinking didn't have a hope in hell, but he could try.

He smiled at Nathan's particular version of 'now'. The man was nervous! Hah! Come to think of it, he'd only once before had sex with someone inexperienced, and that had not ended up pretty. Then again, most things would be better than that. His own first time was entirely non-consensual, but he didn't think about that very often.

Things were most certainly not innocent, nor had they ever been in René's mind. He pulled the plate out of Nathan's hands and put it on the table, turning more towards Nathan at the same time. Should he be doing that at all? Nathan's expression was not the best...

He caught Nathan, stopping him short of his face. Very gently, he kissed Nathan's nose and then pushed him back. 'If this isn't something you're going to regret, look a bit happier,' he said quietly.
 
For a flash of a moment, Nathan thought he had done something wrong. Misread the lines in between, interpreted everything that René said wrongly. His face had been caught and he was stopped short of giving a kissâ??how much more of a â??noâ?? did the other male need to say, aside slap him across the face and tell him that he was a pervert?

But that wasnâ??t the end of things, and when he heard about his own reaction, he sighed with a relief that he didnâ??t realize he was holding pent up. â??Umâ?¦ sorry. Iâ??I wasnâ??tâ??I mean, Iâ??m notâ?¦ going to regret it. Kissing you, that is.â? he felt as if he needed to explain himself, before slowly leaning in again. Licking his lips with nervousness and anticipation, he kept his eyes opened and pressed their lips together.

The food laid forgotten, as he focused on just the feeling and taste of the brunette before him. Chocolate would be the best description he felt about René and this moment. Sweet and bitter at the same time, soft and velvet to the touch, but also a touch of hardness to its outer shell. While he wasnâ??t sure what his own motives were, this person was also something rich and mysterious to him, as he didnâ??t know why René even agreed to anything he suggested.

Their kiss wasnâ??t deep or long, but as he pulled back, he felt the burning of Renéâ??s lips still upon his own. Licking his lips once more with a look of slight wonder, he tasted their food and a hint that was uniquely René. The blonde shyly glanced down, before turning to face the Rover and began to eat once more. â??That wasâ?¦ different. Did you like it, too?â? he asked softly, conscious of himself. The clock on the wall before them chimed a small sound, indicating that it was already six oâ??clock in the evening. Usually, during this time, he might have went out for a walk of some sort, as he enjoyed the parkâ??or whatâ??s left of itâ??during the end-tail of the sunset. Perhaps he should ask René that later, if the other male didnâ??t mention any plans for the rest of the evening.
 
Sometimes, it just didn't matter that he spent most of his life as a relatively cheap whore. (Hey, lots of youth unemployment meant a certain surplus of labour in his profession. Competition meant he couldn't actually charge that much. Screw the free market?) There was no unpleasant chill down his spine when he kissed Nathan back.

Nathan's lips were surprisingly soft. He wasn't entirely sure why this surprised him. Had he really wanted things to come to this part? Maybe he just didn't know what else to do with people, but he didn't regret this at all. He knew, in the touch of their lips, that he would never regret Nathan, whatever happened. But he also knew now that he couldn't tell, not ever, that he would have to lie better than any time before.

He kissed back just as gently, and when Nathan pulled back he places another tiny kiss on his lips, as if he couldn't quite help himself. Usually, he felt stupidly empty after got what he wanted, but this time, he just wanted it again. It was refreshing. And Nathan was both handsome and a little cute, and no one else René knew was cute. Cute usually got destroyed by hardship pretty quick. He couldn't believe that someone could feel self-conscious after this.

'Of course I liked it,' he replied with a smile, like a little kid's when they were praised. René understood physical attraction very well, but the sort of attraction he felt for Nathan not so much. He didn't quite know what to do when he just wanted to lean against someone, and it wouldn't matter if they did anything else.
 
Taking small but efficient bites out of his meal, Nathan tried not to let how much a simple kiss with another male affected him. Instead, he half focused on what René was going to say, while most of his focus was on the soft texture of the meat, the juices that oozed from it, the fluffy mashed potatoes, and the burst of flavor that each bite took. It was easier to focus on mundane things like that, since it kept his heartbeat at a steady rate. Definitely better than the thought of René regretting what just happened and giving him a swift kick to where the sun didnâ??t shine.

But when the brunette agreed that he liked it, he smiled brightly and dared to glance over. â??Really?!â? as if he needed to appear any dorkier. â??I mean,â? Nathan coughed and cleared his throat. â??Thatâ??s great. Umâ?¦ after dinner, would you like to take a walk towards the park? With me?â? he felt as if he had to clarify that it was going to be with him. For some strange reason, he was tripping on his professional act and quick and accurate advising skills.

Heâ??d blame it on the food, as he had rarely had a home cooked meal without it turning into a warzone.

The rest of his meal was polished off, before he picked up his EP and connected it with earlobe.

You have, 10, new messages. the monotonic voice of the EP stated into his ear. Standing up to place the plate into the sink, he pressed against the button to get rid of the messagesâ??it was his day off, after all. â??Thereâ??s a nice walk over in the park. Did you know that a small stream runs through it now? Itâ??s fascinating to see.â? it probably wasnâ??t, but he felt that they needed to get out and about. The walls kept them in such a closed proximity that he feared the pounding of his heart was a sign of claustrophobia.
 
René always finished his food far before anyone else. It was a habit left over from his time at the orphanage: eating slowly generally meant that second helpings, dessert, etc, were gone by the time you finished. Even in his series of foster homes he had never let go of that particular habit, nor even when, as he did often these days, he ate alone. He wasn't really as solitary as he could appear. He had guests far more often than he let on, and enough people had slept on his sofa so as to avoid someone. He was, really, still far too kind and still a little romantic.

Nevertheless, evening walks in the park did not really appeal. So many people may live in a city, but evening was the time that the city changed from day people to night people, and well, René was a little paranoid. He did not want anyone to see him with someone who he actually liked.

'I'd rather stay here, with you.'

Sure, most people would interpret his words as an offer for physical intimacy, but René really did not mean it that way. Awkwardly, because he realised, he added, 'I mean, I'd like to get to know you better. It's easier to talk here?' He was pulling reasons out of the air really. Then again, if Nathan actually insisted on something, he had no doubt that he would end up just going along with it, because Nathan was Nathan, and he wanted something that was actually special and untainted – was that even the right word? - in his life.
 
Dropping the plate slightly as he placed it in the sink, the blonde nearly had whiplash as he turned his head to look at René. The other male had denied the walk as if it was something that would hinder them doingâ?¦ other things. At least, thatâ??s how it looked like, before there was a better explanation. Nathan swallowed thickly, as he looked around his apartment with his heart pounding in his chest. He didnâ??t have claustrophobia, but the idea of being so close to another person in closed quarters like this... well, he hadnâ??t been in this situation for many years.

Not that this was a situation. Because it wasnâ??t. â??Oh, well thatâ??s fine, I suppose.â? because missing a day of walking wasnâ??t going to kill him. The clock hit six oâ?? five and he was breathing normal again; as much as he could be with the nerves getting to him. Like a school boy on a date, he felt like he didnâ??t know what to do, but was doing something nonetheless.

Almost awkwardly, he inched back over to the couch and sat next to René. His fingers tapped against his knees a few times, working out the excess energy he had in him. What could he talk about with a stranger? Work was out of the idea, since the brunette had already established not wanting to talk about it. That meant that there were a lot of bits and pieces to go with it. â??Soâ?¦ what are your hobbies? Iâ??m always working, so I donâ??t do much outside of itâ?¦ maybe I could pick up one of yours?â?

â?¦

Lame.
 
I am making him uncomfortable? René thought. That was not so good. Nathan seemed tense, and there were far too many nervous gestures. René was not very good at relaxing people – usually he had their cock in his mouth far too soon. He thought it wasn't quite the right time to stick his tongue in any of Nathan's orifices. With one of his more casual partners, they would be curled in bed already. Sometimes physical touch was about comfort though...

'Ah, I mostly cook for strange people and watch daytime television.' Those counted for hobbies, right? 'I wouldn't recommend the daytime soaps, seriously, and cooking, eh, I am not sure about it for you at all!' he said with a laugh, shifting a little towards Nathan.

Very carefully, he rested his hand on Nathan's knee, stroking it a little with his fingers, incredibly gently. 'I'm sorry I'm so...' He didn't know the right word. Demanding? Aggressive? 'I've never met someone like you. Usually, the people I'm with, they're all tired and... broken? Like me. You're not like that...' I want you. It was left unsaid, of course. He couldn't go quite that far. 'I mean... You just don't seem to have such a hard time as everyone else I know.'
 
At the response, Nathan threw back his head and laughed, taking it as a joke. Sucking cock and watching television. Seemed unlikely that anyone was a compulsive cock-sucker and television watcher; why, just one of those was something that made him chuckle inside. Surely, a joke. Enough so that he didnâ??t even mind the jab at his own culinary skills, since he knew he had nearly zero points in that area, whatsoever.

However, the joke seemed to get stabbed and left on the road to bleed to death, as he felt the warm hand upon his knee. It seemed to flush warmth all the way up to his cheeks and turn them a rosy pinkâ??something heâ??d have to get medical records of possibility. But the words that followed easily made him flutter with excitement, fear, and a touch ofâ?¦ arousal? Did René give strangers heâ??d met just a day ago such intense looks and touched them so comfortably? Perhaps if he had known what the other male did, then heâ??d have known he was probably â??behind in the gameâ??.

â??Umâ?¦â? at the complimentsâ??he thought they were thoughâ??he smiles awkwardly. â??Thanks. You know, youâ??re not like those I meet either. Itâ??s rather soothing to be in your presence.â? soothingâ?¦ and a bit therapeutic after a long day. But just presence was enough.

Because as he took note that Renéâ??s hand was still upon his knee, he was rather overwhelmed with the heat emitting from it. Anything more than presence sent his heart thumping at strange beats, causing the blonde to question his health. Itâ??d be horrible for him to have a sudden downturn of ill fates, knowing that it was likely though, as the world was filled with disease, inside and out.

Ventricular fibrosisâ?¦ it was a strange medical condition that he would associate with what his own heart was doing at the moment. And the very moment that he laid his own palm atop of Renéâ??s to remove the brunetteâ??s hand his heart nearly skipped a beat or two. â??René, do youâ?¦ er, would youâ?¦â?

Words were hard for him to draw up, as he found himself leaning closer to the brunette. Nathan took note of Renéâ??s rather vibrant eyes, feeling gayer than he ever had in his life. Heâ??d always been someone who had gone with the flow and rarely fought against what he thought was going to be best and whatnots. So the fact that he was rather quickly closing the gap between the two of themâ??no matter how small of a space between them there was alreadyâ??didnâ??t seem to surprise him. Just a bit different, a bit hard, but nothing that heâ??d fling himself out of the building window for.

Full lips were licked, as it soon became obvious that he was leaning into René for a kiss. â??â?¦like toâ?¦ date?â? he finally finished his sentence, feeling like some scared school boy. Their lips were mere hairs apart, his words sending puffs of minty, though overlaid with their dinner, breath ghosting along Renéâ??s lips. Instead of looking like he was about to get hit like he had earlier, his eyes were softly closed and anticipating something much better than a punchâ??though he wouldnâ??t rule it out, if René had been teasing earlier and truly wasnâ??t gay. Hell, he wasnâ??t gay, but here René was, attracting him like the moth to the light.
 
Perhaps René touched his clients just as comfortably, but none of them had really seen what he was feeling. When he was all business, it was different. He was infinitely pliant, sure, willing to consent to almost any sexual act so long as he was compensated in a suitable monetary fashion. But feeling? What was there to feel about the mechanics of sex with someone he did not at all desire? The idea of falling for a client was, to him, entirely alien, even though he had known whores who’ve done it.

It wasn’t like the sex he had for comfort either, with his co-workers, when sometimes they needed to prove that they could, after all, just enjoy it, that it wasn’t just about the money, that they needed someone to touch them gently, so they could, for a moment, pretend. That was sex for sale too, except the currency was very different.

This was because he wanted it – just, purely, wanted it. Lust was something he was generally familiar with from the receiving end only, if the bad pun could be excused. He had no reasons why he wanted Nathan to touch him, not really, and he had no reasons why he wanted to touch Nathan back, why he wanted to run his hands over every part of his body, measure every curve with his lips. He would have quite liked to wake up in Nathan’s bed and watch him go to work.

If Nathan was going to try to move his hand, he wasn’t going to let him – he turned his palm upwards and coiled his fingers through Nathan’s. So cute. He was trying to hold hands with someone? He needed something to put things in perspective! Oh, but Nathan’s question. No one had ever asked him that before. It was usually would you like to fuck or how much for a quickie in my car or the ones who didn’t ask questions at all, just gave orders.

Dating? He didn’t even know how to do that! He deferred his reply, for now, and just kissed Nathan instead, his eyes closing as if, by instinct, he knew how it was meant to be done. His lips on Nathan’s – that was all good. He turned more to the side, and pulled Nathan closer, and he quite suddenly knew exactly where he wanted to put his hands, and loosely wrapped them around Nathan’s waist, holding him there.

He was, however, suddenly a little shy. Was it even right for him to do this, to take Nathan down this road? He could give up his body, and he could give up his heart, but who would want anything so used? He wavered a little, and pulled away from the kiss, only slightly though, so he could look into Nathan’s eyes.
 
There was no answer from René, but the kiss that he was pulled into was so soft and sweet, that he wanted to believe that it was the answer. Nathan knew better though, as kissing and sex could be a distraction for true affectionâ??it happened a lot in movies, and it had happened a few times in the past relationships he had had; only the kissing part though. But even still, his heart gave a little flutter, and his eyelids twitched with the delight of his eyes nearly rolling back into his head.

When they parted, just mere centimeters, he felt his own arms tighten to keep them close. When had his arms snuck around Renéâ??s waist? It hadnâ??t even occurred to him, but he didnâ??t want the brunette to pull back and then rush out with barely an apology. â??Is thatâ?¦ a yes?â? he asked, their lips still brushing against one another. â??I do have to warn youâ?¦ umâ?¦ Iâ??m not skilled in this area. You might have to teach me some things; things that you want?â? because really, how often did people their age go on dates?

Maybe a few hundred years ago, It was a popular convention to go out on dates, but during this age and day, it was harder to find time and resources. There werenâ??t many areas left for dating purposes; just work and efficiency that they needed to all survive the remaining days of the human race. There were little things he could think of though, such as dinners like todayâ??s, walks, sightseeing, and the small pockets in London that contained entertainment.

â??And if â??yesâ??, then... What do we do after a â??yesâ???â? Nathan asked aloud, wondering what couples did then. His other relationships hadnâ??t been sexual, and the only time he had done so was with his first girlfriend. Young and naïve was how he saw them upon looking back, but they had to attempt sexual encounters some time, right? It wasnâ??t the best, but it had been the first and last time he had done something with another person in such away.

But at the moment, he was opened to any suggestion. Dating a guy couldnâ??t be that different than dating a girl, could it? Would René even know?
 
René really wanted to just give no reply at all, but that was impossible. He had put himself in a corner, perfectly willingly, because he rather liked when the important choices were taken away from him. That way, when everything went to hell, René could pretend not to blame himself. It was inevitable that it would eventually go to hell – nothing lasted forever, and he well knew that he was not the type for whom good things came easy.

'Yes,' he said finally. He rested his forehead on Nathan's shoulder. 'It's not so hard.' Well, it was quite fun to discover all the places on a new lover's body, if that is what Nathan meant.

René didn't really want much. Dinners didn't really bother him, being taken out he was mostly ambivalent to. It was the nights spent at home with good company that were a luxury to him, so it was little wonder that he just wanted to stay here and let Nathan take the lead for now. He didn't really know how to take things slow: his first sexual experience was not entirely pleasant. He wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was funny, he wanted to make Nathan happy. He actually wanted to please, not just earn his money.

'I don't know what we do.' There was a hint of laughter in his voice as he nuzzled Nathan's neck. 'No one ever asks me out.' And to prevent any questions, he began to ever so slowly kiss Nathan's neck. Pausing, he said, 'How embarrassing would it be for you to turn up to work with a hickey?'
 
Moistening his lips with a lick, he smiled happily that the brunette was agreeing to date him. He truly did feel like a high school student again, just fresh out into the world, learning things on his own, and getting to court the person he had a crush on. At the question, he shivered more from the placement of the lips than the words themselves. â??Iâ??dâ?¦ wear a turtleneck?â? he answered in reply, fingers loosening their grip on Renéâ??s hips.

Leaning backwards, he gazed around the room as if he was lost, before settling his eyes back onto the male before him. He was at a lost of what to do, but at the same time, he knew he wanted certain things. And one of them was to get to know René in a more intimate level. Nathan didnâ??t think he was the kind to just shove his partner down and fuck them into oblivionâ??though heâ??d like to do that one day. However, first dates didnâ??t do that. Usually, as he remembered learning through people and books when he had his first girlfriend, that was on the third date.

â??Maybe we shouldâ?¦ see if weâ??re compatibleâ?¦â? it was the lamest excuse he had ever made up to get a kiss, but as he spoke, he was leaning in closer to his somewhat official boyfriend. First base didnâ??t seem too bad to start off with, so with permission, he was able to seal their lips together. Their breaths mingled, teasing and tasting, trying to get the flavor that was under the scent of the food they had for dinner. His arms wrapped around the brunette as he dipped his tongue outwards and licked the soft lips. Hoping that he wasnâ??t going too fast, he continued to gently devour his partner, using every expertiseâ??though little when countingâ??skill he had to make the kiss memorable.
 
In this world, it was far too easy to get a little lost in the details of all the problems in life, and forget that you can steal a lot more pleasure from empty days than you possibly think. So René resolved not to think about the ugly things for the evening, not to consider all things that could possibly go wrong, tonight or in the future. (The future? He wanted there to be a future! What a strange thing to think for once.)

'A turtleneck,' he repeated with a tiny snort of amusement. How incredibly clichéd. As tempted as he was to just follow then Nathan pulled back a little, he let him. Allowing a little perspective, perhaps? It felt a little wrong to actually want someone's cock up his arse, as vulgar as that sounded. He'd happily let Nathan shove him down and fuck him into oblivion. That would be awesome, in fact.

'Oh, I thought we were...' he replied, kissing back. René brushed his tongue against Nathan's. You taste so lovely, he thought, but to actually say it that would end the kiss, no? He couldn't possibly do that, it would ruin the moment entirely. Without even noticing what his hands were doing, one ended up coiling in Nathan's hair, and the other was snaking under Nathan's clothes, caressing the smooth skin of his back, running his hands a little over the bumps of Nathan's spine.

'You're so beautiful,' he breaking the kiss only for a single moment. Was it right to call a man beautiful? But handsome seemed so contrived at this moment. Things could easily be beautiful though: he felt as if his guts were tying themselves into knots. Did he have the right? But it felt so right. He wanted to do this. He so rarely wanted things that he did not even catch himself as he began to tug up Nathan's shirt.
 
It wasnâ??t often that he was called beautiful. In fact, he couldnâ??t recall any time in his life he was called something similar, and it made the gentle blush on his cheeks flare up. That didnâ??t stop Nathan from deepening their kiss though, swirling his tongue along the lips and then dipping into the warmth of Renéâ??s mouth. Gently, he teased the teeth and tongue, engaging it into a duel of dominance.

The blonde was so lost in their kiss, that he had his eyes closed, completely missing the fact that his shirt was being tugged at. Instead, he was working with his own hands, caressing the body before him and slipping his warm hands along the seam of Renéâ??s shirt. â??Have you everâ?¦ done anything with another male before?â? he asked, trying to see how far he was allowed to go. Nathan knew the basics, and second base in making out was not any different from doing it with a female or male. They both had hands, mouths, and flesh to be explored, after all.

At the same time, he didnâ??t want to go too fast for the brunette, knowing that he had the potential of scaring off his newfound boyfriend. And bloody hells, didnâ??t that feel strange to think about. He was used to the supple curves of the female body, but with René, he was treated to skin, muscles, and bones. The other maleâ??s flesh was smooth to his touch though, feeling the warm back as he smoothed his palms up the back of Renéâ??s shirt and slowly easing the shirt off of him. As he did so, he allowed his shirt to be brought up as well, leaving them nude from the waist up.

He wasnâ??t panting like a race horse, but he was panting. Deep breaths drew in and out, emphasizing the raise and fall of his chest, as he unconsciously drew René closer to him and onto his lap. â??I think you have it wrong. Youâ??re the one thatâ??s beautiful.â? and he was. The brunette was attractive and drew Nathan in like some high school crush.
 
He had to laugh a little at the question. 'Enough times,' he replied coyly. A few partners was acceptable, but people were always so much less understanding once he admitted any number above a few dozen. 'I know what to do if you get stuck,' he joked, but only lightly. He did not want to offend Nathan at all, was just being a little playful and trying to be... reassuring? Whatever Nathan wanted this evening, René was going to do his best to make it memorable.

It was generally hard to scare him off – unless they bought out rope or chains out on the first date. (René, for good reason, had a thing against being tied up.) He dropped Nathan's shirt onto the floor, momentarily careless, and allowed Nathan to do the same with his. René had picked up few scars – most of his injuries were bruises and the occasional cracked bone. Rarely was his skin broken.

René ran his fingertips over Nathan's ribs, letting Nathan move him. He was drawn again to Nathan's neck, exploring the skin there with his lips and tongue, then moving a little down to lick and nibble lightly on Nathan's collarbone. 'I know what I am... But you don't look like you know what you are.' He had forgotten all that Nathan needed to do was look down at his chest to see the mess of bruises, and that the moment would be ruined.
 
Without thinking, his arms tightened around Renéâ??s waist and held the brunette in a set position upon his lap. The blonde had glanced down to run his eyes along the plains of his new boyfriendâ??s body, only to see the splotches of marred flesh. It made him gasp softly, before slipping a hand away from the waist to brush against the bruises. Scars that flecked along the even flesh werenâ??t many, but historical, while scrapes and notes of abuse was apparent. â??René, what happened?! Did you get into a fight?â?

It wasnâ??t uncommon, in fact, to run into trouble and get into street fights. People were always on edge these days, so one wrong step could lead a person down the path of bruises. That, and he remembered that René had jokingly mentioned about shop lifting at the grocery storeâ??if that was true, then one of the police officers could have injured René in attempt to do their job.

â??They look painful. Are you sure youâ??re up for anything at this time?â? even if it was just exploring of each otherâ??s body, he wasnâ??t going to risk harming the brunette. His fingertips brushed like ghost touches along the flesh, teasing from the pectorals towards the abdomen, feeling more of the peach fuzz than the flesh itself. But he didnâ??t press any harder, as he was afraid of irritating the wounds. â??I could doctor them up for you. I have a small first aid kit in the bathroom, but since I havenâ??t used it before, there are plenty of things for this.â?

Gazing back upwards towards chocolate eyes, he pressed his lips together and set a worried look. Nathan didnâ??t pity René, but he worried in a sense that was from one person to another. He wasnâ??t in any way a saint or someone who didnâ??t care if the world was going to go to hell, but at least right now, if the injured person was in the same room as him, he couldnâ??t just stand aside and do nothing.
 
‘I lost a fight,’ René said casually. He had lost more than that, but never mind. Nathan did not need to know that. ‘Don’t worry, they’re just bruises. No cracked ribs or anything.’ He suddenly hoped to hell that there weren’t many bruises on his hips from their hands, or around his arms, that the only testimony of what had happened to him was the marks their boots had left.

But in the end, that was not quite a normal thing to say either. Most people when they got into a bad fight, ended up running to the hospital. (At least the National Health Service was still running, and most treatment was free.) But René knew from experience what cracked ribs felt like, and maybe he was a little too casual about the pain. Physical pain was what someone got used to, and he was familiar with it. Pain told him exactly what was wrong, after all.

‘I’m alright,’ he told Nathan firmly. ‘What we were doing earlier was much more fun.’ Nathan’s worried look irritated him a little, but he knew the other man meant well, even if it was completely unnecessary. René could take care of himself. ‘If it bothers you I can put my shirt back on?’ Or they could have a next date when they healed, perhaps. He had no intention of stopping this for so silly a reason.
 
â??Lost a fight? Looks like you got ran over, â??s more like it.â??

But of course, he only thought that and didnâ??t verbally counter that statement. René was too casual about being injured, but as he had learned before, it was best not to push the subject. â??If you say soâ?¦ it doesnâ??t bother me. Not beyond worry, I suppose.â? Nathan answered truthfully, both hands upon the brunetteâ??s waist. His fingers werenâ??t squeezing, but they gently rubbed along the flesh just above the trouserâ??s waistline.

Renéâ??s skin was marked here and there, but as he inspected it further with his hands and caresses, the blonde noted that his newfound boyfriend was still beautiful. These imperfections that made him desirable and â??perfectâ?? in this fucked up world. â??Just tell me if I hurt you or push to far, yeah?â? he forewarned, wanting to get more than just a few kisses, but knew that pressing on bruises was not a fun pastime.

Leaning in closer and holding René against him, he rubbed his warm palms in two directionsâ??one upwards and around Renéâ??s back, while the other slipped lower and cupped the jeaned bottom. The material was soft under his touch, indicating that the jeans werenâ??t crispy new. Most of his outfits were like that; stiff and new enough that he hadnâ??t worn them in at any point. In fact, he wondered if he owned anything that was older than a few months to a year.

Shaking that off his mind though, he pressed his lips against the nap of Renéâ??s neck. The flesh was soft compared to his slightly dry lips, as he gave opened mouth kisses along the collarbone. His lips soon became moist by the time he began to trail along the shoulders and up the jawline, towards the lips and finally, a sealed kiss.
 
'Good,' René replied with a smile. He was glad that it did not bother Nathan. No doubt that his boyfriend would see many more such bruises, and it was only a question of time before he really wanted answers. It was going to be hard to hide, but he was setting himself up for it. It was alright. This would be worth it, however short it was. René could enjoy himself until then.

You can't take me too far, Nathan. Others got there first, and I'm glad because that means you will never hurt me. How strangely sentimental for him. But on the other hand, no one had ever said something like that to him and meant it. It was so strange. Was this what lovers said to each other?

'It's alright,' he said, still smiling and just enjoying Nathan's touch. If he could purr, he would have, and his eyes melted halfshut in a slightly feline way. He raised his hands to massage the back of Nathan's neck.

Breaking the kiss he said, 'Tell me what you want. Anything. I don't mind.' He could guess that Nathan was a bit shy – his first time with after all – but he wasn't too sure that he knew what to do without being given at least some kind of instruction. One of René's hands slid down and past the waistline of Nathan's trousers, slipping past his underwear.
 
Of course Nathan knew nothing about the inner turmoil of his boyfriendâ??s mind, nor did he know about what profession gave René such openness to doing things between men. For the blonde, he was nervous, but wanted to jump in head first and attempt something. It wasnâ??t a dare against himself, but he found an attraction to René. If this attraction was allowed to fester, then he wanted to know if and when it came down to it, would he be able to go through with it.

Pressing his lips together, he stared into Renéâ??s eyes and had to wonder if asking â??anythingâ?? was acceptable. Sure the brunette said so, but it could be a code for â??within x and y limitsâ??. Then again, he had to remind himself that this was another male and not some emotional girlfriend heâ??d have. â??How would I pleasure you?â? he asked bluntly, a hand shifting from the bruised hip towards the other maleâ??s crotch.

His pants were slightly bulging, taking interest in another body against his. It had been some time since he had done this with another person, and his mind rushed to remember how to even have sex with another person. It wasnâ??t like it was something that one could forget, but he wanted to firmly have a grasp on safety procedures so that he didnâ??t leave more aches upon his boyfriendâ??s body.

Gently, if not ghost-like touches, he palmed Renéâ??s crotch and hoped that the bump he felt under his hand was going to get larger and show some interest in him. That, and he hoped that he was groping in the right spot and not Renéâ??s phone or something.
 
'Weeeeell...' René trailed off. 'There's many things I like. It all depends on how long you want it to last- Oh, that's niiice.' He arched willingly into the touch. He had been hard for a while, just was used to not doing much about it. With other people, his own pleasure was rather of a side issue.

'Perhaps you could undo my zip and put your hand around it...?' He wrapped his arms loosely around Nathan's neck and nipped his ear lightly. 'And maybe a bit later I could lick yours...' he said wickedly. 'That sounds like a fun thing to do. Not to mention all the things you could do to me if we're in even less clothes and with slightly more space...'

Was he taking it too far? But damn, he was enjoying this. He bloody hoped Nathan had some condoms and hopefully lube, because he didn't bring any. He had been expecting more than just dinner, yes, but then again he had thought Nathan would be expecting more too, but that had not been the case. Oh well. This was way better than walks in the park where someone might try mugging them.
 
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