Being Honest Online

[Rudolph Quin]

So, how do you feel about the question of honesty and the necessity of anonymity on the internet? Do you consider it shameful when people hide who they really are? How far is too far, in your opinion, when it comes to someone hiding their identity? Are you ever scared about being victimized?

I've had a lot of experience with telling stories about my life and being dishonest with people online. Nothing illegal or super crazy ever happened but... people DID get hurt by my lies and fantasies.

I am in no way proud of my behavior in the past but it gives me a lot to think about, particularly how there is this expectation of complete disclosure to complete strangers through the screen and how crippling that can be. I mean, along with the assumption that I am exactly who and what I say I am, people will also automatically assume I am a good person, if I am polite, courteous and the things I say and do appear to be "nice". But the truth is, you have no clue, do you? I mean, really. Sure, there might be some of you out there who are creepy and sleuthy, but for the general public who uses online as escape and entertainment, it's too much work and effort to put into a casual relationship to look up and fact check every thing I post.

I just find that it's a kind of interesting standard to hold people to. Especially when there are bad people out there who look to prey on and victimize others. You're still expected to be completely forthcoming about who and what you are. But lying about yourself doesn't automatically mean you're one of "them", those predators, does it? I mean, let's assume pictures are never shown, numbers are never traded, money is never touched or exchanged; the only thing is the person you've been talking to has been telling stories about who they are. If you never find out and still maintain a friendship with them(let's say you both play games together and you like gaming with them), was what they did to you wrong? Even if you did find out, would it be enough to completely reject them and stop gaming with them forever, even though nothing they ever did affected you negatively and really didn't affect what you enjoyed about them most, namely, playing games?

Where do you draw the line? Stealing pictures seems to be a big deal breaker for some but I admit to having done it before. And even knowing that others could do it to me, I share my photos online without a second thought(mostly because I seriously believe you could find better models for your persona out there and would feel flattered if chosen to be your "mask"). Does it make you pause for a second before sharing if you know that there are those out there who may right click on your images and take them for their own?

What do you consider a bad reason for lying? Is there a good reason? Back when I first joined Blue Moon, I lied about my gender because there is a serious prejudice on adult role-playing sites towards certain genders wanting to play the opposite side. If I made a thread in the females request section right now, with this male-themed name and male themed everything and said "I'm a guy but I'd like to play a female character" how many PMs do you think I'd get from horny guys looking to role-play a smutty story with me? How about vice-versa? Experience has shown me that there's not a lot of people willing to take[/u] a chance on someone not of their fantasized gender being behind the screen. It like, seriously deflates their boner. The already excruciatingly long waiting process of role-playing becomes even longer as people pass over your request thread and the "flaky partner syndrome" increases about 50%.

Have you ever lied about anything online? Have you ever felt bad about it or did you feel entitled for some reason? Is it important to you that people always tell you the truth about everything online? When, if ever, is it not important to you? Have you ever had an experience where someone lied to you and you found out? How did you react and why? What made it okay? What made it totally not cool? Have you ever been conned out of money by someone on the computer? Has this changed your view of the truth and how readily you part with personal information? What do you do when a friend asks for personal information? What criteria does someone have to fill out to be okay and trustworthy? Is a phone call, photo, Facebook profile or Skype call enough?

Come on, Blue Moon, let's talk about it. Be... honest.

 

[Korax]

It's sad when I think back on it and realize how lying about one's gender is pretty much the norm online. I'm not saying people shouldn't do it, though lord knows it would make things a bit less confusion, I would rather they feel they don't have to do it just to interact with people. When it bothers me is when I have known a person for a few years, we are buds, we hang out and then suddenly out of the blue something happens and you learn they aren't quite who you thought they were. Does this really change anything? No. But the pain and confusion a person feels in that situation can lead to very stupid outcomes. Honestly, I don't really consider using pictures of others all that bad, sure it's sleazy but in this world sometimes an extra layer of protection is called for. One thing I would never condemn someone for is lying about where they live, even if you trust someone you never know who is listening in. Mostly I draw the line at lying to close friends or stealing someone else's identity. Perhaps my view is a bit overly paranoid, comes from being an older sibling, you tend to become a bit more cautious after looking out for others for so long.

Now these are some odd questions. Who hasn't lied online for one reason or another? Sometimes it is just to make a silly story a bit funnier, I'm guilty of that but it is all in good fun. It's not important to me if people lie or tell the truth, honestly I am a bit of a paranoid who automatically thinks everyone is lying. People have their reasons and most of them, such as wanting to protect themselves or just being uncomfortable, are completely acceptable. I was indeed lied to, after knowing that person for a good chunk of my online history, it hurt and we drifted apart but we remain in contact. What was 'not cool' about it is that we literally knew each other for years, struggled through the harsh times and more, but there was a lie that was kept up all this time that I would never had a problem with had we not shared so much history. It was just painful to think I couldn't be trusted with something that should not have been a big deal. It takes a very long time for me to trust someone to a point that i would hand out my phonenumber, what point that is I really can't say, just a feeling you have to move on. As for other personal information, age, weight, height, gender, name, pretty much anything but a picture and address are all fine with me. Even my name, though it helps that my name is more common than dirt. I don't trust facebook, nor do I find it all that practical. As for Skype, no idea, my computer would explode if I tried running it.

Well this was certainly an interesting topic...

 

[lette]

There's a lot to consider in internet interactions when it comes to what you share. I used to have a lot of close online friends who I'd tell everything to... but in the process, I found many people who lied, and many people who used my honesty as a basis to be intrusive, rude, and creepy.

Nowadays, I'm willing to fudge the truth much more because I'm not interacting with the intent to get really close to someone at the moment - most of my chatting is for fun casual talk, or to plan a roleplay. If I did end up getting closer, I'd share more about me. As it is, I'm fine fudging the truth until I'm more comfortable with a person.

On many sites I actually pretend to be a guy, especially if it's a site about gaming/anime/etc. So many teenage boys, too many failed attempts to flirt and get me to send pics in hopes I'll look anything like the anime girl in my icon... It's really sad sometimes ._.;

 

[LadyLarunai]

Personally I have a dont ask don't tell policy, personally I fear abuse more than anything else when it comes to truth about myself not to mention as stated people treat you differently depending on your sex

I guess i will start with the basics, the Internet is kind of a new realm, most people are brought up knowing people in person with less anonymity and withing society standards at a young age you got to school boys generally dress as boys and vice versa, you learn to read faces and trust names and trust your eyes so you relax, it never occurs that Sarah might not be Sarah or might actually be Sarah but not want to be or want people to know she is Sarah, so when you jump on the Internet you expect subconsciously to have similar interactions, if you can't see them when they tell you they are Sarah who are you to question that having never met them?

At the same time there is the issue of sexual attraction which can't really be helped but also how society has taught people to treat certain sexes you will most likely treat Sarah differently to how you would treat Josh.

Then there is the backlash towards people that don't fit the standard spectrum made worse by the anonimity of the interwebs, if Josh likes guys and wants to roleplay it might be easier to play Sarah than to deal with rejection, in online games Sarah will get free stuff for just being female so either may want to be treated with more respect than males would be, some may just want attention, or the case where Sarah might identify better as josh and just wants to be josh.. It's all complicated and messy

In short don't trust anyone?

 

[Rudolph Quin]

You guys bring up a lot of good points but I think it's a bit narrow-minded to say "don't trust anyone". As I said, my best friend ever and the greatest writing partner I've ever had, I met online, and I've visited her several times. You can make a lot of powerful, long-lasting relationships through the computer, with people you would have never met or come into contact with otherwise. There ARE genuine people out there and this can be a great medium for finding them. You just have to be smart, listen to your gut and pay attention to red flags. If you've known a person for 6 months and they STILL can't get a working camera to take a picture and yet seem technologically able to handle everything else, it doesn't add up. It doesn't mean they are 100% totally a liar and a faker, but you add it to a list of "Things that don't seem normal/right" and you make a decision based on that.

 

[Lily2988]

I've met a lot of people I consider friends online. I've never felt deceived. I suppose I've been lied to lots of times, but the people who I've gotten close to were exactly what they said they were, at least to the extent of people I've met irl, if not more so.

I've lied before, I know I have, but no instance of it stands out. It's a lot simpler to just be truthful. I don't tell many details about myself at first though, until I build some trust up.

I guess I'm the thread Pollyanna, but I've been pretty trusting and never gotten burned.

Lily

 

[LadyLarunai]

You guys bring up a lot of good points but I think it's a bit narrow-minded to say "don't trust anyone". As I said, my best friend ever and the greatest writing partner I've ever had, I met online, and I've visited her several times. You can make a lot of powerful, long-lasting relationships through the computer, with people you would have never met or come into contact with otherwise. There ARE genuine people out there and this can be a great medium for finding them. You just have to be smart, listen to your gut and pay attention to red flags. If you've known a person for 6 months and they STILL can't get a working camera to take a picture and yet seem technologically able to handle everything else, it doesn't add up. It doesn't mean they are 100% totally a liar and a faker, but you add it to a list of "Things that don't seem normal/right" and you make a decision based on that.

That's why there was a question mark at the end of don't trust anyone DX
I met my partner online so not everyone on the net is a liar, although she did forget to mention she was a bear, pre social media there are a few people I had known for ages and never seen a photo of but I generally don't ask that of people at the same time most people don't know what I look like, it all depends what you want out of the relationship

 

[Hahvoc The Decepticon]

I'm pretty upfront and honest. But, there was a point where I wasn't because I was a very young teenager when I hopped online and started delving into the world of roleplay. I didn't want to be myself so I created a character that I could rely on, who was much stronger and confident than I was. Who felt wanted and necessary. After a point, I realized how separate this character and I were though I had borrowed and then fabricated her make-believe strength into my own person. I grew up with this character and eventually, became her but in a mortal coil without being her, as it were. Eventually, she disappeared as I grew up and I created another person, but that person was myself but with a name I felt proud of calling my own, even though it was an alias.

Sure, you can't "really" trust people online, but why bother not trusting them either? My thing on it is to be wary but not so much so that you can't even enjoy your time with that person without questioning every possible motive they might have. I've been played by several members on this site and some of it my own fault, but the reality is, people do the same thing in real life. The internet is not a far cry from society as a whole, it's just what you do with it that's different.

 

[Lily2988]

I'm pretty upfront and honest. But, there was a point where I wasn't because I was a very young teenager when I hopped online and started delving into the world of roleplay. I didn't want to be myself so I created a character that I could rely on, who was much stronger and confident than I was. Who felt wanted and necessary. After a point, I realized how separate this character and I were though I had borrowed and then fabricated her make-believe strength into my own person. I grew up with this character and eventually, became her but in a mortal coil without being her, as it were. Eventually, she disappeared as I grew up and I created another person, but that person was myself but with a name I felt proud of calling my own, even though it was an alias.

Sure, you can't "really" trust people online, but why bother not trusting them either? My thing on it is to be wary but not so much so that you can't even enjoy your time with that person without questioning every possible motive they might have. I've been played by several members on this site and some of it my own fault, but the reality is, people do the same thing in real life. The internet is not a far cry from society as a whole, it's just what you do with it that's different.

Agreed. When people tell me people on the internet aren't honest about themselves, I always answer, and people irl are? I've had a romance that started online, and I knew exactly who he was from the beginning. On the other hand, I met someone irl that was a pathological liar and messed me up badly.

That's kind of beautiful, what you said about taking on the traits of your online persona. I feel something similar, that I found a part of myself by being able to be who I want to be online. It's kind of good to develop relationships with people when all they have to deal with is your words, when your words are the strongest part of you.

 

[Korax]

This is true. It often depends on the person you meet, it isn't like these rules are set in stone or anything. Some of the best folks I have ever met are online and some of the worst came from real life. I for one would love to say that humanity as a whole is basically good, but there is a lot that hammers that faith right into the ground. Still, it certainly lightens the heart to find so many open minds and bleeding hearts here, makes one dare to hope again.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

I didn't mean to make it sound like I was laying down a protocol for how to deal with all of your online relationships but more directed at those you feel yourself getting close to. If there are things that don't add up or seem shady, keep it in mind when giving them personal details about yourself. Not everyone who tells stories about themselves or uses fake pictures is looking to steal your money, or your identity; for me it wasn't. Sometimes it's just fun to live a fantasy in an environment with people you'll never meet. And as already stated, it depends on how deep the relationship is and what you're using it for.

 

[Ms_Muffintops]

It all depends on who and where. Overall I think the internet is a great place to just be yourself, and with online relationships (friendship, professional, AND romantic) I think it's potentially harmful and hurtful to deceive others and pretty much make believe. I mean, I suppose if you don't plan on getting close to anyone, go ahead, but I have yet to see someone who goes out of their way to make up crap about themselves without getting close to other people online.

I genuinely prefer it if people were just themselves. In some ways on the internet we can be more-so ourselves than in person because we do have that screen between us and the lack of repercussions as we can abandon ship at any time. This way you can make much more genuine connections with people. Why should you lie about yourself?

But that's just me. I have sore feelings about pathological liars who create this super fabulous fictitious version of themselves. I was constantly overshadowed by girls like that in high school and it developed into a personality pet peeve of mine. Not to mention, when I was semi working for a MMO company, we had an incident where one of the forum moderators who'd become popular and famous amongst the the game community had her 'photo' added to a fan video for the game. Turns out it wasn't actually her.

 

[LadyLarunai]

As much as I agree with you MsMuffin i would say there are levels and degrees on this kind of thing and the only added bonus I can see to complete honesty is the Internet has a block button in most cases.

I also make a line between outright lieing about who you are like in the case you mentioned and say being in the closet one hurts others and one can save yourself vitriol, but as you mentioned does depend on how close you intend to get and what you want out of the relationship, at the same time some things matter way more to others than they should.

 

[Dogged]

Quin this is a really fantastic thread with an excellent chance of building real rapport with others! Honesty and online personas don't always go hand in hand. Maybe it's a kind of wish fulfillment sort of approach for some people that do behave that way.

Yes, when I was younger, I felt the need to hide my gender online because of the enforced stereotypes that life seems to force us into. I didn't want to be a 2nd class citizen that was nothing more than spank fuel to the guy on the other side of the screen.

I pretended to be a guy in a yahoo chat group when they first came out--I know, VERY long time ago! I learned things about guys I never knew existed; and women's treatment of them! In said group, they:
1. The women treated the men as steel, unfeeling objects that must dance to the female's whims or they'd be pecked out of the group or thrown to the edges.
2. Both genders got undeserved reputations. My 'guy' was a so called heart breaker because I wouldn't cyber. One girl was very trusting and ended up being called an undeserved whore.
3. Men give douche bag tests to each other. If you 'pass the test' you're in the group.
4. Women like to establish dominance within the group as rapidly as possible and are on the whole, more vicious about it than men are.
5. Both genders lie exactly the same amount online.
6. Men hold each other and themselves up to impossibly high standards of toughness and stoicism that must equate with manliness.
7. Women compare only 2 things--the beauty ideal and rank within the group according to individual and sometimes conflicting criteria.

So I revealed my true gender and all the women blocked me. All the men but one, said hey--good joke! That was funny!

I learned a scary lesson about stalkers a while back and now I know how much I should reveal and how much I shouldn't for safety's sake. But then again comfort levels are different for everyone. I prefer honesty online, but if someone feels the need to lie, I cannot control them. We can only control ourselves and hope for the best.

I'm a 43 year old female of graduate level education and in a 24 year relationship. In essence, i have no illusions of being young and cute, nor am I interested in striking up an online romance or encouraging forum bickering from those I cannot communicate with effectively. I live in New England where we are as warm as the weather. Our state motto is live free(ze) or die. I love my woman and most animals. I share my honesty with you Quin and am thoroughly refreshed by the honesty of your thread. Hats off and major kudos to you!

 

[littlerooster]

Quin this is a really fantastic thread with an excellent chance of building real rapport with others! Honesty and online personas don't always go hand in hand. Maybe it's a kind of wish fulfillment sort of approach for some people that do behave that way.

Yes, when I was younger, I felt the need to hide my gender online because of the enforced stereotypes that life seems to force us into. I didn't want to be a 2nd class citizen that was nothing more than spank fuel to the guy on the other side of the screen.

I pretended to be a guy in a yahoo chat group when they first came out--I know, VERY long time ago! I learned things about guys I never knew existed; and women's treatment of them! In said group, they:
1. The women treated the men as steel, unfeeling objects that must dance to the female's whims or they'd be pecked out of the group or thrown to the edges.
2. Both genders got undeserved reputations. My 'guy' was a so called heart breaker because I wouldn't cyber. One girl was very trusting and ended up being called an undeserved whore.
3. Men give douche bag tests to each other. If you 'pass the test' you're in the group.
4. Women like to establish dominance within the group as rapidly as possible and are on the whole, more vicious about it than men are.
5. Both genders lie exactly the same amount online.
6. Men hold each other and themselves up to impossibly high standards of toughness and stoicism that must equate with manliness.
7. Women compare only 2 things--the beauty ideal and rank within the group according to individual and sometimes conflicting criteria.

So I revealed my true gender and all the women blocked me. All the men but one, said hey--good joke! That was funny!

I learned a scary lesson about stalkers a while back and now I know how much I should reveal and how much I shouldn't for safety's sake. But then again comfort levels are different for everyone. I prefer honesty online, but if someone feels the need to lie, I cannot control them. We can only control ourselves and hope for the best.

I think it is difficult if you have a curiosity about psychology and people not to pretend to be someone else online, to experience life through someone else's eyes so to speak.

Like you I have posed as a female online, so I know what it is like to get heaps of messages from horny guys who can barely string a sentence together who just want to get off, and no, my females were not horny sluts either, I would sometimes get inundated the second I entered the room without even saying a word!

If I were a real female I might have enjoyed the attention even if I didn't like any of the guys.

I really agree with the comment about women treating men as though they were made of steel, this is something women do a lot of in real life as well I find but as that is a different topic I won't delve into it here.

In terms of being honest online I think there is a sadistic way of doing it and a curious way, the sadistic way is when people draw others into their lies, I was on a myspace/facebook type site years back and there was a woman on there who posed as a younger beautiful woman, she would attract males and basically screw with them, it was later found out that she was married with children, she hurt a lot of people. I think that is different to someone going into a chat room and pretending to be the opposite gender or an astronaut or whatever and just having general type chats without really getting involved with anyone in there.

 

[LadyYunaFFX2]

Personally, I never really started trying to act like or be a male until I religiously began playing MMOs. Most think one of the following when I reveal I'm actually a woman.

1. "What?! You're a chick? No fucking way!"
2. "You're fucking weird."
3. "That's really cool. You acted so much like a guy that you genuinely fooled me."

Or something of the like. And I did it mainly because they're online games I [not as frequently anymore but still] used to roleplay on. So it was to better myself. Still, there's those people in this world who ... don't like others doing the more not-so-typical things. And for some reason, that seems to be one.

It's interesting, however, that I honestly have gotten the worst reactions from a dance MMO. Though if I had to guess, it's likely because far more players who log onto that game are so .. hellbent and determined to find an online couple. So when a lot found out my main is a level 60-something male character .. but I'm a woman behind the screen .. yeah. I got an array of #1 and #2 replies so often; and those were just the kinder versions.

Rooster has a pretty valid point though. Going about it in a curious/experimental way is fine. But when you use it in a more ... selfish way, yeah. I don't agree with that myself.

More than the attempts of seeing how it is to be the opposite gender, I honestly find the reactions even more intriguing to some degrees.

>.<

I had a perfectly good reason why off the top of my head ... but now it flew away from me.

Then again, I also did acting camps and lessons for so long. I guess after a while, I became naturally curious with such scenarios.

But at any rate, that's my two cents on the topic.

 

[Dogged]

I agree with you both on that. Learning how another gender responds and their average treatment is a real eye opener. At least for me. I had no idea that while people expect men to be strong, they're even harder on themselves. I learned that women can be very vehement(like myself) when it comes to liking or disliking a person or subject. Men and women try to meet impossible and very different standards. I've seen men picked on for crying, working a low paying job, or having no car, yet women don't normally go name calling other women for these exact things. There is a double standard out there so choose your honesty to a varying degree. If you like to RP mostly males like I do, make it clear that you are indeed a female behind the screen. If you are male looking to get date, it really blows if the girl you're totally into is just a guy dicking with you. Honesty is a great thing as long as over sharing doesn't happen and we don't hurt people's feelings on purpose. *hugs BMR* This is exactly the kind of conversation I enjoy!

 

[LadyLarunai]

I agree with you both on that. Learning how another gender responds and their average treatment is a real eye opener. At least for me. I had no idea that while people expect men to be strong, they're even harder on themselves. I learned that women can be very vehement(like myself) when it comes to liking or disliking a person or subject. Men and women try to meet impossible and very different standards. I've seen men picked on for crying, working a low paying job, or having no car, yet women don't normally go name calling other women for these exact things. There is a double standard out there so choose your honesty to a varying degree. If you like to RP mostly males like I do, make it clear that you are indeed a female behind the screen. If you are male looking to get date, it really blows if the girl you're totally into is just a guy dicking with you. Honesty is a great thing as long as over sharing doesn't happen and we don't hurt people's feelings on purpose. *hugs BMR* This is exactly the kind of conversation I enjoy!

One of the biggest things i have come to learn is how similar both the sexes are in treatment of themselves and others, both look way can look too deep into harmless actions at times and expects way too much from the other sex, fight stereotypes yet conform to others and complain when nothing works.. People are confusing at times

In the online world there is a big chance for the manipulation of gullibility of those looking for a +1 as it were, as rooster mentioned there are many that take advantage of this, there is a history of girls getting free stuff on mmos that used to be taken advantage of and many websites that cater this notion where you buy gifts for girl ranging from lollies to implants in return for personalised videos.

Both sexes try really hard to be what they think will appeal to others to a point that is ridiculous at times

Personally, I never really started trying to act like or be a male until I religiously began playing MMOs. Most think one of the following when I reveal I'm actually a woman.

1. "What?! You're a chick? No fucking way!"
2. "You're fucking weird."
3. "That's really cool. You acted so much like a guy that you genuinely fooled me."

Interesting on that one as if you are a guy playing a chick the most common are.
1. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
2. "Fag!"
3. "Why would you want to play a girl, freak"

That was vanilla wow might be different since then

 

[Dogged]

Honesty is the main theme on here and I agree with you Lady. It can be difficult for some to be honest when there is a large and understandable fear of repercussions like crude name calling. It's a shame that a guy can't show his creative side by rping a female without being called a fag. In the same sense, the dike label is something I loathe when a woman wants to rp a man.

In the end, I think honesty online comes down to self-esteem. If you are comfortable in your sexuality and gender, you will continue to rp creatively, regardless of your gender behind the screen. When one is dishonest in their RP gender to purposely harm others or play mind games this is strongly linked to attention seeking behavior formed by a low self-esteem.

Remember moderation in everything. Don't go overboard and put up your kids cute pics every day, say how long you'll be on vacay while revealing your address, and other safety measures that need be taken. No this is not an idyllic world and honesty should be tempered with common sense as to how much you choose to reveal.

When it comes to online dating, relationships and flirtations, I believe that complete honesty is essential for the couple's happiness. Like the Wiccan saying, "Harm none; do as you will."

Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[Ms_Muffintops]

I'm also going to add, if you're going to lie about yourself, at least don't use fake photos. It always comes to bite people in the ass in the end. I used to be a part of the website staff for a MMO and we had a rather popular moderator. She was this pretty "half french half Japanese" girl though she looked 100% Japanese, just... with supposedly naturally green eyes that were obviously circle lenses. I could smell the BS from a mile away but I never said anything about it.

Eventually a member of the site did a video for the community and staff and included pictures of all of the well known members of the forum and game community and he included her photo (he didn't ask, which maybe he should have). There was a shit storm because she apparently stole that photo from a friend, and her friend found out and had a fit.

 

[littlerooster]

In terms of pretending to be a character/person of the opposite gender when RP'ing, I can't see why people would be offended at that, to me by default a RP site is a place where people come to lie and play out elaborate stories and fantasies. If someone wants to pretend to be the opposite gender or a vampire or anything else than this is the place to do that.

That said, if someone is writing RP's with the express interest of getting off then it might upset them to find out their RP partner is not the same gender as the character they are playing. But does it even matter when all the action is taking place via text?

 

[LadyYunaFFX2]

In terms of pretending to be a character/person of the opposite gender when RP'ing, I can't see why people would be offended at that, to me by default a RP site is a place where people come to lie and play out elaborate stories and fantasies. If someone wants to pretend to be the opposite gender or a vampire or anything else than this is the place to do that.

That said, if someone is writing RP's with the express interest of getting off then it might upset them to find out their RP partner is not the same gender as the character they are playing. But does it even matter when all the action is taking place via text?

Should it matter? Oh hell no.

Does it matter? To some ... you'd be amazed.

I can't speak on why for anyone else. I just know I've had my share of people not liking finding out I've played male characters.

To be fair though, most players on MMOs are generally - not always - more immature. Simply because even mere teens have access to said games, which is where I've had the worst ... criticism on trying out the opposite gender.

 

[littlerooster]

In terms of pretending to be a character/person of the opposite gender when RP'ing, I can't see why people would be offended at that, to me by default a RP site is a place where people come to lie and play out elaborate stories and fantasies. If someone wants to pretend to be the opposite gender or a vampire or anything else than this is the place to do that.

That said, if someone is writing RP's with the express interest of getting off then it might upset them to find out their RP partner is not the same gender as the character they are playing. But does it even matter when all the action is taking place via text?

Should it matter? Oh hell no.

Does it matter? To some ... you'd be amazed.

I can't speak on why for anyone else. I just know I've had my share of people not liking finding out I've played male characters.

To be fair though, most players on MMOs are generally - not always - more immature. Simply because even mere teens have access to said games, which is where I've had the worst ... criticism on trying out the opposite gender.

The age thing makes sense, they probably don't understand it is just a game. I am not familiar with MMO but that seems the case anyway.

I have played female characters and quite enjoy playing from the opposite angle so I can see how it would interest someone to switch genders in that way.

 

[Mr Quixotic]

I'm one for the honest approach, but when I say honest, I don't mean necessarily revealing information about yourself. Honesty can also be telling a person that something is none of their business, or that you'd rather not say.

I've said that to people, or had to said to me, numerous times - at least it allows me (or the other person) to make the decision of whether they want to continue.

What I have difficulty with is knowing, or finding out, that someone made a deliberate decision to lie. It's actually not the lie itself, it's the fact they made the decision to do it, but then that doesn't just apply to online. On the other hand, if a person just assumes, because of your screen-name or whatever that you're a certain gender, age, etc, that's their problem.

As far as someone pretending to be the opposite gender, I could care less if males want to play female (need to try that a bit more myself) or females want to play males but, as it does matter to some, I think the person it could potentially matter to be given the choice.

Have I ever lied online? Of course I have, but these days if I want to pretend to be someone else, I can do it legitimately through roleplay

 

[LadyLarunai]

In terms of pretending to be a character/person of the opposite gender when RP'ing, I can't see why people would be offended at that, to me by default a RP site is a place where people come to lie and play out elaborate stories and fantasies. If someone wants to pretend to be the opposite gender or a vampire or anything else than this is the place to do that.

That said, if someone is writing RP's with the express interest of getting off then it might upset them to find out their RP partner is not the same gender as the character they are playing. But does it even matter when all the action is taking place via text?

Should it matter? Oh hell no.

Does it matter? To some ... you'd be amazed.

I can't speak on why for anyone else. I just know I've had my share of people not liking finding out I've played male characters.

To be fair though, most players on MMOs are generally - not always - more immature. Simply because even mere teens have access to said games, which is where I've had the worst ... criticism on trying out the opposite gender.

The age thing makes sense, they probably don't understand it is just a game. I am not familiar with MMO but that seems the case anyway.

I have played female characters and quite enjoy playing from the opposite angle so I can see how it would interest someone to switch genders in that way.

I think one of the biggest issues is it can make people question their sexuality.. I don't know why though its just a game, but i guess people trust and fall for others so easily that anything that makes them question what they think is set in stone is a threat.