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Queen, Lover, Bitch. (PsionicCuttlefish and MacaronMaven)

Morthain's face hardened into a grimmer and grimmer-set expression as he watched the other man approach. Once the roughshod man was close enough for Morthain to make out details, he immediately knew he was dealing with an enemy, not a human ally. His suspicions were further enforced by the way the man spoke to the other Llarrl, of which Morthain caught that he wanted 'the woman' pulled away from Morthain, and Morthain also recognized the wooden baton as a 'disciplinary' tool. So, Morthain wasn't too surprised and didn't cause much fuss when the wolf-men-beasts suddenly pulled Kaevri out from under his arm. He just watched as the human taskmaster examineed Kaevri, though he tried to offer Kaevri an expression that he was calm as he watched, suggesting that nothing bad would happen as long as he kept her in sight. At least, he hoped that's what he looked like.

Morthain couldn't help but wince as the savage man grabbed at Kaevri's hair and pulled her around...but when his hands started pawing across her body, Morthain immediately and reflexively started to take a step forward, instinctively wanting to protect her. A sudden chorus of warning growls and several furred, clawed hands grabbing at Morthain stopped him in his tracks, however. Morthain then just looked on helplessly as the taskmaster continued to grope and prod at Kaevri.

But when the man started speaking again, Morthina's brow furrowed in confusion. "What..." Morthain blinked as the man asked if Kaevri was his 'bitch' and something about 'whelps'. Morthain didn't know what he was talking about--or, more accurately, Morthain had an inkling that he desperately hoped was off-track--and he absolutely did not want to give a 'wrong' answer. "I don't..." Morthain started, then took a breath and tried again. "I don't understand." Morthain said slowly, clearly, and calmly, hoping very much that the savage man would not become agitated.
 
The man made a grunting noise that managed to be both dismissive and angry-sounding at the same time. He yanked Kaevri's linen blouse until it came untucked from her trousers and proceeded to ignore Morthain while prodding painfully at the empress's belly. After the last few months of marriage she was becoming more accustomed to unwelcome poking, but Kaevri was tired, hungry, and terrified. To say that she was in a bad mood would be an understatement, to say the least.
"Stop it! I am no one's 'bitch' and I can speak for my own damned self." She slapped the man with all the power she could muster. Which is to say, her attack was somewhere between a friendly puppy and an angry kitten. The llarl started making that coughing noise again, and she began to recognize it for what it was. "Are you... Laughing at me?"
The mangled taskmaster laughed as well, his own voice surprisingly rich and melodious despite his obvious madness. He made a few snarling comments to the beast-men of which Morthain might catch the phrases 'weak' and 'won't survive long'. The man jerked his head to indicate a group of structures about a quarter mile away. Hunched forms milled around the shacks in what seemed to be deep mud, though from a distance it was hard to tell.
"Now you. Strong, yes? Army, yes?" The man turned to the fallen knight, dark amusement still dancing in his eyes.
 
Morthain's expression deepened into a grimace as the scarred man returned to manhandling Kaveri, but when Kaveri struck back, Morthain's eyes widened in instant fear for her immediate well-being. While humiliating, fortunately for Kaveri's health, the man and other Llarrl seemed to treat it as a joke than punishable rebellion. When they conversed with each other. Morthain breifly closed his eyes in despair as he caught snatches of what they were saying about Kaevri.

When the man turned back to Morthain and asked another question in the same broken words, Morthain's shoulders tensed as he clenched his fists. He glared at the man, but knew there wasn't anything he could do at the moment aside from get it over with, as any attempt to mislead the man over such a simple question would be obvious. "...Yes." Was the only response Morthain offered, as he mentally braced himself for his possible futures. More than likely, he was going to be put to work in hard labor somewhere in the camp, and unless the Llarrl cared not one whit about the longevity of their slaves, or at least their good ones, Morthain figured that he would probably be able to handle whatever they had him do. But more than himself, what he was really trying to plan in his mind were ways to prevent Kaevri from being worked to death, but nothing was coming to mind for the moment. He would have to keep an eye out for any opportunities.
 
If the man noticed Morthain's decidedly unfriendly response, he did not react to it. Instead, he examined the knight as closely as possible without actually touching him. Kaevri was struck with the idea that the man looked like a farmer examining oxen at market. She wouldn't have been shocked in the least if the stranger had forced open Morthain's mouth to check his age by the teeth. The idea hit her so strongly that she nearly giggled despite the gravity of the situation. Had she not still been angry over her treatment, she might have laughed anyway.

"So, yes. Farm. You will farm." The taskmaster said to Morthain before snarling something to the llarl and waving them away. Their captors began leading Morthain out into the field, leaving Kaevri nearly delirious with relief. Farming was hard work, but he would live through it. She had feared that the Llarl might kill Morthain outright because of his military service.
She started to follow the group, wondering what sort of farm work she would have to do (she had tended a coop of hens one summer and it had been a very pleasant experience. Perhaps that or ducks, either would be a tolerable life, really) when one of the great wolf-men grabbed her by the collar and brought her to an abrupt halt.
"No. The hogs for you." The human man said, laughing quietly to himself. "So if you feed them: they eat; you faint: they eat better. No loss in the weak."
Hogs? Kaevri was so shocked and repulsed by the idea that she nearly missed out on his grim explanation. Even so, the idea of slopping pigs distracted her royal mind for a few moments. What, by all the gods and dragons, could he mean by 'if you faint'...?
"Oh." The world seemed to buck under her weakened legs as Kaevri finally pieced his meaning together. The Llarl pulled her away, towards the distant shacks and entirely too far away from her protector. "No.. Nononono... I, I can't tend... I've never..." They were moving farther down the road with every moment, but she was afraid to resist too much. The Llarl seemed to understand some Common, perhaps she could persuade them?
"I want to go with him, please, just let me work with him."
 
At first, Morthain quietly complied with the group of Llarrl leading him off towards the fields, but when he realized Kaevri wasn't coming along, he tried to raise a protest. But he couldn't do more than just slow down and look back in Kaveri's direction whil trying to say something before the Llarrl were grabbing and pushing him along again, and despite his apprehension at being separated from Kaevri, Morthain had no choice but to comply. The knight desperately hoped that he hadn't just seen his charge for the last time, but knew there was no use in fretting and worrying about it. He would just have to get through the day first.

Morthain was eventually brought to a group of humans morosely working over a field, digging furrows and trenches in the ground. Morthain was directed to take up a position near two other men, and the Llarrl communicated with pointing and growls to indicate where Morthain should be digging. By the wolf-men-beasts prowling around the borders of the field, keeping a hungry eye on the laboring humans, it was clear any attempt to escape would be seen and quickly reacted to. Steeling himself for the ordeal, Morthain silently set to work with his fellows, while making sure to check himself that he didn't work too slow, or too energetically. If he was too slow for the Llarrl's tastes, he had no doubt there would be reprisal. But he knew if he actually set himself to the task with everything he had, the Llarrl would come to expect that level of work for him at all times. Morthain had to be careful not to show the full extent of his physical abilities to them.


Meanwhile, with Kaevri, the Llarrl just made that same coughing-laughing sound again as she was grabbed by her arm and walked away by one of the furred beasts, while the savage man also laughed and went elsewhere to oversee other things. Soon enough, Kaevri could see a large mud-pen come into sight where a number of fat pigs wallowed about, with one other human attending to them. The smell was awful, but the beastfolk lead Kaveri on seemingly without care until he showed Kaevri to a pile of supplies, including pig feed. He pointed at the pile, then at the pigs, and waited for Kaevri to get the message.
 
Kaevri stared, utterly bewildered, at the pile of equipment. She looked around at the reeking mud she stood in, at the milling workers, and finally at the enormous hogs. For several seconds, the Empress was left wondering if she truly was grateful for surviving. The other workers were uniformly filthy, splattered with mud and pigs' blood up to their faces. Kaevri's new companions seemed to be mostly older women, thin and wrinkled, though there were a few younger women as well. The younger women were sallow creatures with lined faces and hard eyes that seemed to focus on something far and away from the muck and filth. Squaring her shoulders as best she could, Kaevri mustered her strength and scooped a bucket half full of slop. It was all she could carry.
'A queen must not show the people her weakness.' She thought of her mother's lessons as she worked, using the memory to spur herself onward. As the hours dragged past, she was able to keep a straight back and proud posture. Once, she thought she could see sir Morthain in the distance. The sight of the distant figure was enough to keep her chin up for even longer.
"You're a proud 'un. I would bet that you were worth gold a tumble, eh?" One of the women finally said. Kaevri looked up and saw that the poor creature was missing the majority of her teeth, even though she was barely to middle-age. "Funny that the rich 'uns bring as much pox as the sailors, eh? When I started whorin', I says to myself 'them fine girls can sleep well knowin' that their nobles won't leave the drip behind, an' they gets gold for the trouble!' Well you're here now and I know it's a lie. Them noble boys are worse than the dockside drunks, don't have to tell me."
"I... I do not believe that I understand." Distracted, Kaevri slipped in the mud and only barely caught herself. A particularly mean-looking sow ambled over, eyeing Kaevri hungrily.
"Have a care, dollie." The woman said as serious fear crept into her voice. "Them llarl might not want to eat poxy meat, but the pigs don't care what the Johns left with ya."
The woman limped away, leaving Kaevri to catch her breath and consider her words. The woman had, evidently, assumed that Kaevri was a former... courtesan... Truthfully, none of the women seemed particularly healthy (neither did Kaevri for that matter). It was a disturbingly efficient way to make the most of the unsatisfactory humans, she thought with a shudder. The llarl had never displayed this sort of organization of thought, they had always been closer to animals than thinking beings. Even with their more recent advancements in armor and...
"They are learning." She said out loud. The realization washed over her like icy water. "Oh gods above, they're getting smarter."


After an hour or two of work one of the workers approached Morthain. The man was on the far side of middle age with a tanned face wrinkled like a walnut in a shell. He worked the earth with almost loving familiarity, as though he simply hadn't noticed the wolfish monsters wandering the edges of the field.
"Have ye any news, boy?" The man's voice was thick with the rasping northern accent most common in the lands surrounding the Hills. "What battalion an' what Lord did ye serve? No use lyin' to me, boy, I know the way a soldier stands an' ye were touched by a sword too often to be a one-termer."
The stranger gestured to Morthain's scarred ear.
 
As Morthain passed away the time with the drudgery that was assigned to him, he was somewhat surprised when another man came close to him to ask him some questions. Morthain figured that was normal; even in slavery, humans would want interaction with each other and know about new guys to the fold. Morthain glanced around at the patrolling Llarrl, and waited until he was sure they were all out of earshot, then leaned in closer to the other man and lowered his voice to barely above a whisper.

"I led a battalion, actually, in one of the brigades stationed in the Northern defense. I served five terms, too. As for news...well, I don't know what you know, but....the Capital has fallen. Since the Llarrl broke through the Northern walls, they've been savaging their way across the countryside--as well you can see here. But, they did manage to bring down Cheilshiell. Things are pretty bad. In fact, I was escorting..." Morthain then glanced in the direction where the women were working. "...someone very important, trying to get them to the Eastern Province, but, as you can see, we got caught...now I just want to do everything I can to protect her while we're here."
 
"Oh aye, we marched past the city on the way here. Second time I've set my eyes to it. The dogs have been sniffin' round and they get whump to the nose every night, the way I hear it. Palace guards have been defending in small bands, comin' out at night to get a blow or three in."
The man followed Morthain's gaze, obviously hungry for any shred of information and happy to return the favor.

"A noblewoman, eh? That explains a bit. We wondered a mite why ye'd have such a pretty bit o'... Pardon, a lovely lady such as she, and not rush to bed 'er." Shaking his head sadly, the man clucked his tongue and set back to work. "Poor thing. She'll have a rough time o' it for a few ticks. I wouldn't worry yer head too much about 'er. If the lass can keep calm and not fight back too over-much, the dogs will give 'er a warm bed. Who'll be sharing it is another matter."
He chuckled grimly and worked in silence for a few moments. His jaw worked beneath a bristly grey beard, chewing on words that he wasn't sure he wanted to say. The man cast one long look at the pig-sty in the distance before lowering his voice and leaning in towards the fallen knight.
"If you want to protect yer lady, take 'er to bed quickly. Pretty thing like that, sick or not, has more than a few men warmin'. If she doesn't die today, I reckon that she'll be in the stables tonight an' not every man would be so soft wit' 'er as ye."
 
Morthain shrugged to himself when the other worker mentioned how things had been in the capital since its fall. At least there were still pockets of defenders fighting back, that was better than what Morthain would have expected. But when the man then started referring to 'the noblewoman', Morthain turned to look at him, and his expression turned to one of confusion and almost offended surprise when the man talked about taking her to bed. "What?" Morthain exclaimed, though not loud enough to attact the attention of the prowling Llarrl. "Why on earth would...I..." Morthain started to say, but fell siletnt as the man explained.

When he finished, Morthain turned his head to look in the direction of the pig-pens again, eyes widened in newfound despair and mouth hanging open in momentary speechlessness. "But...they...they wouldnt't...I mean, I've fought them for years, but I've never...they're doing that?" Again, the tower of Morthain's knightly honor cracked and crumbled as he felt more of his strength flee him in despair. He couldn't save Kaevri. He couldn't protect her. He was failing her. Inside, his thoughts were a tumbling conflict of guilt, clashing with visions brought on by the other man's suggestion that he knew were wrong and impure...

Silently, Morthain returned to working the soil with his fellow slaves. The sad and distant expression in his face indicated that he clearly wassn't up for much more talking. On and on, through the rest of the hours of the day, Morthain worked in a daze, just moving from one task to the next as the Llarrl moved the workgroups around, giving them only the barest minimum amount of rest breaks to keep from falling down. By the time the sun was beginning to sink into the treeline, all of Morthain's muscles ached, and a growing feeling of approaching disaster was gnawing away at his stomach. He had to get back to Kaevri, somehow. Morthain snapped himself out of his daze, and kept carefully alert to where the Llarrl were telling who to go, how they were organizing their slaves for the night, looking for an opportunity that he could get close to Kaevri again to talk to her.
 
Once it became too dark for the human slaves to work effectively, the llarl taskmasters gathered up the workgroups and herded them towards a group of buildings in the distance. Once an obviously affluent ranch, the manor-house courtyard had been fenced in and filled with people. The slaves milled about as they jostled each other and slowly made their way into rough queues. The lines oozed forward until a one-eyed man shoved a coarse wooden bowl into Morthain's hands. Ahead, some remarkably healthy-looking women ladled gruel from huge pots. More than one of the serving women were noticeably round about the mid-section, but they were all clean and even smiled at each other occasionally.
Fire pits dotted the courtyard and surrounding areas. Most of the slaves congregated around these beacons to eat, but Kaevri was not with them. The press of filthy bodies was too much for her to handle and she chose instead to huddle against one of the barn walls. Llarl guards moved in the darkness, making sure that no one tried to jump the fence and run. Kaevri had trouble as she sat on the ground remembering why precisely she was so frantic to talk to... Someone. It had been cold earlier and much easier to remember. Now the shivering had stopped, and she was barely aware of the blood and mud that covered her, but... Morthain, she wanted him, but he wasn't the one she wanted to talk to. Who was it? It had something to do with the llarl and the way they were farming... and the maid-made-queen. That had always been her favorite story...
Kaevri leaned against the rough wood and wondered if it was really wise to doze off. Part of her knew that she should be shivering and she should remember... But she was tired, too tired to eat the broth in her bowl and far too tired to care about the many men giving her sideways glances.
 
With reluctant obedience, Morthain followed along with his fellow humans as they were herded by the Llarrl towards what he could only assume were the buildings where they were to be housed. Morthain fell into line with other humans around what he recognized immediately as food stands, not unlike the ones common in the armies, albiet a bit more disorganized. When Morthain got his gruel, he sighed, but he was also used to unappetizing food after being in the military. He also noticed how the women serving the food were significantly cleaner and less worn-out looking than everyone who had been working all day. He also noticed with a sinking gut how they all seemed to have prominent bellies, which was surely not a coincidence.

Morthain didn't start eating right away, though. Kaevri. He had to find Kaevri, and fast. The former knight wandered through the crowds, searching for the familiar head of braided dark hair. It was hard to make much out as night began to fall, but as Morthain went from firepit to firepit, he eventually caught a silhouette sitting against one of the walls of the barn. He squinted in the darkness...but, he knew that slim outline well. Quickly, he trotted over towards the barn.

"Kaevri?" He said tentatively as he approached, though the closer he got, the more sure he was that it was her. "Ah, at last, I've found you again, Kaevri. How are you feeling? How bad was your labor? Are you injured? Were you mistreated particularly badly?" He asked the questions of quickly, wiith a supressed frantic concern. He knelt down next to her to look at her closely, with his heart cracking at how muddy and soiled she had become. He held his breath for a moment as he then worked his mind through what he had to warn her about...and though he knew it would be better if she knew ahead of time, that still didn't make it any less one of the hardest things he had ever had to say to her.

"Kaevri, Mi'lady...I need to tell you...the Llarrl, they..." He took another steadying breath before he trusted himself to speak evenly again, and shook his head to himself. "I'm failing you. I can't protect you from what's going to happen, what I learned about...and it's horrible..." He trailed off again. Inside, he knew that the suspense could only sting her a little bit more, but it was causing him deep pain in his soul to have to be the one to tell her what was going to happen to her. "But...you'll probably get a clean place to sleep out of it, and you won't have to work...I'm just...so sorry that I can't get you out of here before it happens to you..."
 
Amazingly, it was easier not to cry once Morthain was near. It nearly broke her heart to see him so distressed, however. Even through her muddled mind, she struggled to find a shred of comfort to offer him. It was the least she could do, after all. Her mind worked as best as it could, but delivered nothing of value. Instead, she leaned forward and embraced him with her head resting against the warmth of his chest. Regardless of how improper the position was, she reveled in it. After all, this was probably the closest to 'proper' behavior she would be allowed.

"They're breeding humans. I know, or I guessed. I should have guessed sooner." She mumbled, still unwilling to let go. He was warm and solid and the shivering was starting again. "I'm fine, I... It wasn't so bad, for me. A woman fell though, in the pen, and..."
She trembled and retched weakly, thankful that she had nothing to cough up. Regardless of how bad her life became or how long it lasted, Kaevri expected that the things she saw today would haunt her forever.
"I don't think I want to eat pork again. Ever." She held herself against him for a few more moments as scattered thoughts began drifting down into coherent ideas. "Morthain... I think I am going to ask you for a terrible thing. Please don't think any less of me, I only ask because it is very important. We must survive this and to survive you will need to do things that are distasteful and they must be done if we are to go back to the City but before the City we need an army and..."

She trailed off as soon as she realized that she was rambling. The humiliating reality cut through her exhaustion and Kaevri was struck by a thought that left her feeling more sick than afraid. What if he didn't want her? Somehow the idea of rejection was worse than death, worse than anything else that might occur. If he refused, she would have to find someone else. As abhorrent as the idea was, she was more concerned that Sir Morthain might take another woman. Kaevri laughed bitterly to herself. What a silly girl she had turned out to be!

"There isn't an easy way to ask, I'm afraid. But I suspect you know what I am asking."
 
Morthain's breath caught in his throat when Kaevri sought comfort with him, leaning herself against his body as he sat against the barn wall next to her. Slowly, his arms extended to wrap around her back and head, to shelter her with his body. They were never supposed to be this close, though they skirted it a few times when they went adventuring out of the castle. It was wrong for a Knight to touch his queen in such a way. But Kaevri was such a sweet girl...and she was his friend. More than that, even. He always wanted to see her smile, to hear her laugh, even when she pranked him and made his job difficult. It was wrong to hold her, but damn it all, he found himself caring less and less. The Llarrl were taking everything from them, even the rights to their own bodies. He just wanted her to survive this ordeal with as much of her own virtue and honor intact as possible. And if she could not get out of this without being forced into adultery...then he could at least treat her with every ounce of respect and tenderness she deserved.

And indeed, as he listened to Kaveri speak with her tragically damaged soul from her experiences in just the first day, he gently stroked his fingers through her hair, trying to offer her all the comfort he could. And indeed, by the end of it...he knew very well what she was asking. He tightened his arms around her. "Kaevri..." He said quietly as he tilted his head down against hers. "...Yes, I know what you're asking...and it hurts me so much, knowing that this has to happen to you, but...if you are going to be forced to bear a child, then...if you would have me, if you are asking me, then I would want to be the one to lay with you, and take care of you..." He took a deep breath, one that shuddered slightly, which was more than he wanted, and spoke again. "When you're ready, we can go tell the Larrl to...to give us a room..." Morthain continued to hold her, not wanting to let go, as if he could protect her by delaying the inevitable indefinitely....
 
Kaevri held herself tight against his chest and took a few steadying breaths. He accepted. Somehow, out of all the horrific things she had seen and knew that she would soon see, simply asking this had been the worst. She listened to his heart and felt the tension in his back and arms. He was just as afraid as she was, and that nearly drew a laugh out of her. Poor Morthain didn't even know half of how bad their lives would be. He needed her, she was shocked to realize. His spirit would fracture under this task if she didn't protect his honor.

"It could be much worse," She said with as much lighthearted confidence as she could manage. The fallen queen pulled away and scanned the courtyard for any llarl guards that might be higher-ranked. "If I had been stuck here with Kenaiwan, I think I'd prefer the pigs."

She spotted a likely candidate not far from the nearest campfire. The hulking creature was watching the humans with keen eyes and ears full forward. Putting all her effort into looking strong, she took Morthain's hand and nearly dragged him to the guard. Kaevri couldn't bear him thinking that she was anything less than willing. It was bad enough that she was asking him to pervert his duty, she would not allow him to take responsibility for the final choice.

"Do you speak common?" She demanded of the creature. It flicked it's ears in some unreadable emotion, but nodded very slowly. "Good. This is my mate, who do I speak to about arranging... Um... That sort of thing?"

She watched in discomfort as the llarl sniffed at the air. Kaevri had a panicked moment where she wasn't even sure the creature had understood her, but he eventually waved over a clean woman with pale hair and a swollen bosom. The woman nodded and growled something properly subservient to the guard before waving for Kaevri and Morthain to follow her. They walked in the semi-dark, following the woman's light-colored hair to the massive stables.

The building was a long hallway with stalls to each side. Lanterns lit the hall every few yards, but the whole place was rather dim. Unmistakable noises filtered into the passage, making Kaevri blush and glance at the floor. Still, the building was warm inside and smelled of clean hay and long-absent horses.

"Sin' I doubt ye'v dun this afore, I'll esplain." The woman's thick accent placed her as a northerner, and it occurred to Kaevri that their guide might be younger than she looked. "Ye 'ave four full moons t' start showin' sign. She's a thin un, so ye'll be put on a week of rest first. But four moons an' that's all ye git."
 
The strong, proud knight, who should have been the pillar of strength and support for Kaveri instead found himself reassured as she pressed her body closer to his for comfort and security. But all too soon, she was pulling back and standing up so they could go...be taken care of...making a lighthearted quip as she did so.

Morthain couldn't help it, he snorted and chuckled, caught off-guard by the sheer inappropriateness of it, both for what she implied about her own husband and for making such a joke in their situation in the first place. Then she took one of his hands and pulled him along with her as she strode towards one of the beastly Llarrl, leading the way with a confidence that showed she was going to be entirely party to this; it may be forced on her, but she was going to fully accept it. Privately, Morthain was glad for this. Not because he -wanted- her to want what he was about to do to her, but because if there was any hesitation on her part, any sign that she didn't want it, he feared he would lose his nerve, and that would just end up worse for the both of them.

He listened carefully as Kaveri spoke with the Llarrl, who called over another woman. Not that he meant for her to be dealing with this matter herself, but she seemed to have it well in hand, so he simply stood by her side, with a hand giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, ready to step in and support her if he saw any need to. Then, they were both led to the farm's stables, which had clearly been converted into breeding stables by the sounds that issued from the stalls, and listened as the woman explained how it was going to work. Morthain took a breath and nodded with as much confidence as he could muster, as an empty stall was opened for them. Morthain, as a gentleman would, allowed Kaevri to enter first, and he followed in after, looking at her back as the door was closed behind them. This was really going to happen. He was really going to do the unspeakable with her. But if he wasn't, then Kaevri would suffer even worse, making this the best option out of bad ones for her. So, Morthain would do it. For her.

Morthain took another deep breath as he looked around the dim, hay-lined stall, with a crudely made straw-stuffed mattress in one corner. "Kaveri..." He said softly as he moved to stand beside her, looking at the mattress. "Milady, shall we just...lie together and hold each other for a time, and gradually work through it one step at a time, so this is as smooth and easy as possible on you?" he said, gaining back some measure of his decorum back, noticing again just how pale she still was with her mysterious illness. After the past few weeks, he very nearly got used to it. "That is, unless you want this to be done as quickly as possible, to get it over with...which I would understand as well..." He said, averting his eyes a bit.
 
Once inside the stall, reality seemed to come crashing down. Kaevri's resolve flickered and failed for a moment, leaving her wide-eyed in the middle of the narrow room. It wasn't that she was repulsed by the straw mattress (after all, how many times had she slept in lower places while exploring?) or even by Morthain. More than once Kaevri had amused herself by imagining a night trapped in a barn. It had seemed so romantic in her head: the lanterns dim and the straw bed just wide enough for two to huddle... She was suddenly handed a pet fantasy and it was not what she had expected.

"Does it really matter? I'm... not really sure what to do here." She asked dazedly. She found herself giggling, and didn't even try to suppress the sound. "Gods Below! It's not like there's a book of etiquette for this situation. What fork do I use here?"

It was ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. And she could only stand there, filthy and shivering, while giggling herself silly. Once her brief hysteria had passed, she wiped the tears out of her eyes and gave the room a closer examination. The space was spartan and cramped, but eventually she found a small towel and a bucket of cold water probably meant for drinking. Not the bath she wanted, but it would do.

"I... I guess it's your choice, but I am filthy. You can't... erm... I don't want to... Uh..." She trailed off and screwed her mouth into a determined twist. A deep breath and she was back to business, stripping out of her torn and muddy clothes and dampening the rag. "I won't sleep in muddy linens, with you or anyone else."
 
Morthain grimaced as he watched Kaveri babble a bit about the situation, before falling into giggles of hysteria. It pained him to watch her be torn up like this, and after a few moments, he decide he should embrace her to help calm her down, but she was already quieting. Morthain stopped and listened again. She seemed very self-conscious about the mud that was still smudged on her, and began to take her clothes off as she got a rag and dipped it in the bucket of water to wash herself. Out of pure instinct, Morthain couldn't help but immediately begin to turn away from her as she began to strip down. It was forbidden, a high crime for a knight like him to look upon the Queen uncovered! But then he remembered the situation, and with a more intense blush than he would have expected, turned back to look at Kaevri.

Despite the dirt on her, despite her illness making her pale, and despite having only adequate food over the past few weeks...Morthain could still see that the queen, whom he'd long considered his friend, was a beautiful woman. Of course, he'd always thought she was a fair lady--which she was--as befitting her station. But as her clothing was cast aside, he couldn't help but notice that, her wonderfully energetic personality and spirit aside, she had more than a pretty face; her body was quite suitable for intimacy.

After a moment, Morthain took a deep breath to steel himself for what was to come, and began taking steps towards Kaveri as she tried to wipe herself off with the wet rag. "Here...let me..." He said softly as he came up behind her, and held out a hand towards her own with the rag. "You shouldn't have to...do this yourself..." He said again, while he placed his other hand on her shoulder, and brought his hand with the rag up towards her face. With an incredibly caring tenderness, he softly dabbed the cloth against Kaveri's skin, slowly and gently wiping away the filth and revealing Kaveri's maidenly face beneath.
 
Kaevri gave him a small, sheepish smile and submitted to be bathed. Although she was no stranger to washing or dressing herself, she had to admit that sometimes it was nice to have help. Particularly when she was so damned tired. She closed her eyes and tried to relax as she steadied herself for the inevitable. At least there was some sort of warning this time; not like Kenaiwan barging into her chambers in the dead of night, angry and reeking of brandy. Thinking of her husband brought the taste of bile into Kaevri's mouth. If the gods were alive and watching, he would be dead in an unmarked ditch. The coward had abandoned them to this, but she was surprised to notice that she wasn't quite upset about it. By leaving her in the woods, Kenaiwan had freed her and quite probably saved Morthain's life.
Opening her eyes, Kaevri gave her guardian a close look. He was handsome and very strong, a fact she had noticed repeatedly over their time together, but he was gentle. It amazed her that someone of ordinary birth and such a... rough history, could be so much more noble than the noblemen. Kenaiwan hadn't deserved his title, but a man like Morthain had earned far more than she could ever hope to give. If she had judged events correctly, the world was about to see an enormous paradigm shift and Morthain made her wonder if it was for the best.
Kaevri met his blue eyes with her green and fought every blushing instinct to look away. Gods below, he at least deserved a woman that could meet his eyes! She took his hand in hers and moved it away from her face before stretching to tip-toes and kissing him square on the mouth. There. The unthinkable was done and there was no one to damn either of them for it.
 
As Morthain slowly and gently scrubbed the dirt from Kaevri, his mood turned bittersweet when he felt her relax into his touch, allowing her body to ever-so-slightly lean against his. She trusted him. She trusted him in a deep way few ever had, and Morthain felt joy and pride at knowing how close she would allow him to get. At the same time, he still hated the fact that he was being forced to abuse Kaveri's trust in him, forced to commit the unthinkable to her, all because of the damned Llarrl and the fact that any other man would be even worse for Kaevri. And on some hidden level, he still hated himself for not being able to keep this from happening in the first place.

With Kaevri getting cleaner by the moment, he allowed himself to be lost in her deep emerald eyes as she seemed to refuse to look away even as she blushed and bit her lip. He could see the uncerainty in her...but also acceptance, and maybe even...a hint of desire? No, surely not, he must be imagining that. But after he had finished her face and was moving down her neck and shoulders, he felt Kaevri grasp his rag-holding hand to still him which confused Morthain for a moment...until she rose up and met his lips with hers. An electric thrill passed through Morthain's body, leaving him breathless even from the brief contact. She was accepting this...and seemed determined to make the most of it. Finding new resolve, Morthain decided that he would, too.

He brought his other hand up to the side of Kaevri's face to caress her, as he began to lean his face back down towards hers. Slowly, he locked his lips with hers, kissing her gently but consistently. He placed his other hand behind Kaevri's back while letting the rag fall from his hands, as he took the slightest step forward, and another, guiding Kaevri backwards until her legs were almost up against the bed. All the while he kissed her, though he didn't involve his tongue and make it a kiss of heated passion, not yet. Finally he broke away from the kiss, and helped Kaevri to lean back so that he could lay her onto the bed, while he climbed up on top of her, until she was all the way on the bed on her back, with Morthain's own body on hands and knees over her, with his face only an inch or two from her own. He brought one of his hands up to trace along the strings of her dress. "May I...milady?" He asked in a soft whisper.
 
He laid her on the bed so softly that she hardly knew what he was doing. Kaevri felt a moment of horrible panic with him over her, but it was only a moment. Once it had passed, she was left mentally scolding herself. There was nothing to be afraid of, Morthain was gentle in every way, even in this. His hand was over her dress and... Good lord, was he really asking permission? She made a noise halfway between a snort and a laugh, her mouth curving in a disbelieving smile.

"Morthain," She said softly, not quite chastising him. "I've already given you permission to do much more than untie my clothes. I don't think you need to ask for this."

Oddly, the teasing helped loosen the tension in her back. It was comfortable, familiar. Relaxing under him, she reached up with a delicate hand and took his own. Guiding him to the knot with one hand, she trailed over his chest with the other. Though her earlier terror had passed, Kaevri noted that her heart rate had not slowed. Her fingers felt strange; numb and hyper-sensitive at the same time, while they shook with her heartbeat. She tried to take deep breaths to calm her pounding pulse, but it only seemed to worsen as her fingers brushed over his belt. Embarrassed at her own boldness, the former queen pulled her hand back and looked down and away. Even with Kenaiwan she wouldn't have let her hands stray so far. Actually, with Kenaiwan there was remarkably little touching outside of the necessary bits. Part of her (a fairly large part, to be honest) wondered how different it would be with Morthain, if at all.

"I give you permission, and encouragement, to do as you see fit. Anything and everything you need to do is permitted." Her voice was rather husky in her ears, but it might only have been an effect of whispering with her mouth so near his neck. Kaevri could feel her own breath washing back over her cheek, hot and fast. Smiling again, almost sheepishly, she added: "I suppose it's 'blanket' permission, isn't it?"
 
As Morthain tenderly held himself over the woman he had grown so close to over the past few years, he smiled sheepishly when she gently teased him for asking her permission "Sorry, Kaevri...force of habit..." He said softly. "You deserve to...to have control over what you can in this...situation..." He held still, with one of his hands genetly resting against the side of Kaevri's face, while she took his other and brought it to the laces of her dress, while her other hand traced down the front of his shirt, down towards his pants, until she brushed his belt and pulled away. Morthain felt another pang of guilt, for whatever reason, Kaevri still wasn't comfortable. But then again, how could he possibly expect her to be comfortable with what was happening?

His own breathing deepened as she then whispered into his ear that he had permission to basically do anything he wanted. Despite everything, she really was putting her full trust in him. More than anything, he wanted to earn that trust, as he always had. He nodded with a quiet "Very well, milady..." as his fingers began to undo the knots of Kaevri's dress. At the same time, he lowered his mouth to delicately nuzzle and kiss at Kaevri's neck, while her dress got looser and looser on her chest, one undone lace at a time. Since there hadn't been much opportunity to pay special attention to personal grooming while on the run, Morthain had a shadow of stubble on his chin and upper lip, which gave a small scratching sensation on Kaevri's skin while he kissed her. As the muddied cloth parted to reveal more and more of Kaevri's cleavage, Morthain began to slowly kiss his way lower, down Kaevri's neck and to her collarbone, which he planted soft kisses and gentle nibbles on. He then slipped her dress down from her shoulders, and it was finally peeled back to bare Kaveri's breasts to him. Lower he kissed on Kaevri's skin, to the top of her breasts, in tandem with him slowly working the dress down off of her, inch by inch, taking his time to allow Kaevri all she needed to adjust and relax, albiet inadvertently prolonging the forbidden, forced experience. He passed his mouth slightly to the side, trailing down Kaveri's left breast, where he could feel her strong and rapidly beating heart tell the story of how on edge she really was...or how excited. He went a little further down, until tender lips found her nipple. At this, he paused where he was and lingered, and sweetly nibbled and suckled at the little nub of flesh. At the same time, one hand went back up to Kaveri's neck, where he encircled his thumb around the front and his fingers around the back, with his thumb very carefully rubbing and massaging her throat.

Once he could hear Kaevri begin to gasp and moan beneath him, he released her nipple from the clutches of his mouth, then brought his head sideways to give the other similar treatment. After spending a few moments longer teasing Kaevri's other nipple, he continued his downward journey once more, letting go of her neck as he brought both hands down to continue undoing her dress at the same pace as he kissed down her skin. He pulled the sleeves of the dress off her arms and revealed her stomach, leaving Kaevri uncovered from the waist up as he kissed across her bellybutton. Finally, scooting a bit further down the bed, he leaned up and tugged the dress the rest of the way off of Kaveri's legs, leaving the Queen of the realm utterly naked and vulnerable before him. He gazed longingly at her pink folds, and leaned his head closer between her legs as he brought his hands up to rub their palms across her thighs and belly. He stopped just a little bit away from her womanhood, however, and tilted his head up to look back into Kaevri's face. "Do you...want this, milady..? It...is not needed, but...if you wish it or not, I will do as you say..."
 
Kaevri froze, shocked not by his boldness but by the fact that he even offered. Foreplay was not a new concept to her, however it was still mostly grounded in the theoretical. Kenaiwan would certainly never waste his time and... well, there was no one else. So Kaevri was left to reading romantic accounts and eavesdropping on her maids.

Morthain was correct, of course. It was unnecessary and if anything only prolonged the... 'duty'. She should refuse; it was only proper.

"Gods, yes!" She gasped instead, running her fingers through his hair. To hell with the llarl, the court, and the crown. If, by some miracle, they actually escaped, she would worry about her reputation. Until then she would enjoy her knight's gentle caresses.
 
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