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Fox at Bay (Alan23 x Sweetred)

Angela was looking at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror. She looked terrible, the little make-up she had put on had run down into smears on her face. Her cheeks were bright red blushing, she had a scratch on the side of her nose, from the glasses that had been snatched off. Her purse was on the floor next to her, with a ripped handle, and a her glasses were gone, in her purse broken into two pieces. And now Jessica was behind her, holding her in her arms.

"N... N... nothing... important... it uhm... I... was uhm I just... tripped... yes... I tripped..." Angela made up while she was looking down into the sink. She knew it was a lame excuse, and it used to work to make Xianna stop bothering her about it, but she was sure Jessica wouldn't settle for such a lame excuse. But she couldn't just tell Jessica she had been pushed around, robbed, and her glasses had been wrecked by two young girls. Not just two young girls, but the same girls that had been bullying her when she had met Jessica.

Still not daring to look up into the mirror, afraid that her eyes would meet Jessica's eyes in the mirror, she was just studying the fingers of her right hand, while she ran her left hand through her hair, and lingered with her hand rubbing her neck. After a few seconds, she dropped her hand from her neck, and was fumbling with the hem of her jacket between her fingers, like a child who felt ashamed of getting caught with its hand in the cookie jar.

She slowly started to move her eyes up, as she was looking at her own reflection in the mirror. She felt even more ashamed, when she saw the red cheeks, and the mascara that had run out and was smeared under her eyes. Leaving no doubt that she had been crying.

"The uhm... my glasses uhm fell off and uhm broke, uhm and... and... I uhm hurt my uhm nose... really... that... that's it... uhm... really..." Angela said into the mirror, more to herself then to Jessica, as she was making sure her eyes wouldn't meet Jessica's eyes.

***************

Snowflaik smiled, and her eyes grew big, as she stopped walking and looked at Xianna with a pair of wide open eyes. That was something she totally had not seen coming. Her mind was racing all over the place, and she just didn't know what to say. And was completely taken by surprise.

The night before, after she had left the Fox' home, she hadn't gone straight home. Instead, she had walked to the back alley again, and climbed on the bin that she had put there earlier when she had wanted to speak to Xianna. On the bin, she had waited, she couldn't remember how long, to see if she could catch a glimpse of Xianna as she assumed one of the windows on the 1st floor would be Xianna's room. She had felt confused, in a way that she hadn't felt before. Strangely excited, and almost like butterflies in her stomach. And after she hadn't caught another glimpse of Xianna, she had slowly walked how, while she had tried to put her mind straight. And by the time she had gotten home, she had decided Xianna was out of her league, and that she could never be in love with a girl. Her mum would kill her for sure.

But With Xianna telling her, that she needed someone like her... Had she really said that? Had she really said that she, Xianna, needed her, Snowflaik... Oh man, this couldn't be happening." and realizing she was treading on dangerous ground. Not just her mum wouldn't approve, but what about John, what would his reaction be...

Having made up her mind, or rather, following her feelings and instinct, Snowflaik took two steps towards Xianna, with a silly grin on her face. Both girls were about the same length, and as Snowflaik stood in front of Xianna, she reached out for the girl opposite her, and put her hand on the back of Xianna's head. Then, she pursed her lips, and gently pressed her pursed lips on Xianna's mouth. Carefully kissing the girl in front of her. Hands on the back of her head, and her eyes staring deep into Xianna's eyes.
 
Jessica's first thought was to pretend to accept Angela's story as to what had happened. She knew how utterly mortifying the redhead found it, having to constantly admit she had been bullied and made a fool of by other women. And to have to do so to her lover was, she knew, even more so. Claiming to accept what Angela told her would be a diplomatic way out, sparing Angela even more embarrassment.

But she knew it was nowhere near as simple as that. Her job as Angela's lover was to protect her, for Angela could not protect herself. By pretending to be fooled by the lie, it would weaken that bond. If Angela thought her lie had worked, she would take refuge in the same tactic every time she was beset by a problem. Like a loving parent, who sees through the mistruths of a daughter, Jessica had to take control.

"Angie, babe, I don't think anyone could suddenly fall over and get in the mess you're in," she said, softly. "If that's your story, you can stick to it if you like. But I really think there's something you aren't telling me... am I right?"

*****

An icy shock of fear ran through Xianna. It was one thing to think about this in the abstract, dream about it, let the scene run through her head while she pleasured herself towards ecstasy. For it to be happening for real was something else again. It was like a leap into the darkness, crossing a bridge that was falling into shards behind her, embarking upon a voyage from which there could never be a return. Her life, from this moment, would be divided into the part before accepting that kiss, and the part after it.

But the fear wasn't the worst thing. She had been bullied plenty of times, many of them by Snowflaik herself. She'd been there before. What made it a thousand times more terrifying was that this time, instead of wishing it were not happening, she had encouraged it. And... and she was, she was forced to admit, enjoying it. A current of desire ran through her, something that had never happened when John had kissed her. She had, in a sense, come home to whom she really was. It was scary, yet exhilarating.

Blushing furiously, yet grinning as well, she finally stepped back from the kiss. Immediately, she began to put herself to rights, tidying her hair, pushing her untucked blouse back into the waist of her skirt, stooping to pull up her sagging socks. She was being seen by her lover, now, and had to look her very best.
 
Angela felt her lower lip started to tremble, feeling her wall crumble down even further, as she realized once again, this was not Xianna or just someone else she was dealing with. She knew and had known Jessica could see right through her lame excuse. And without any problems, Jessica had. But where half and half she had maybe expected Jessica just to let it pass, she had bounced it back at her, without even the slightest reproach. Instead, Jessica gave her the option to be frank, and tell her the truth.

Still, the soft tone, made it even more difficult for Angela to face Jessica, and look her straight into her eyes. She knew that if she wanted to feel better, she should become more frank and open soon. And certainly not be making up excuses like this.

"Its... uhm.... its...," Angela really wanted to tell Jessica the truth, but she just couldn't find the right words to say. Not that she didn't try, but she just couldn't and didn't know what to say. She was twisting her foot on the floor, as her gaze slowly went down to her own feet again. She tried to concentrate on the words she tried to form in her mind, as she started over, just after running her hand through her hair again. Her foot drew circles on the tiled bathroom floor.

"It... It was a uhm... it was some woman, she uhm bumped into me, a uhm little hard, and well, uhm, she hurt me and well, my uhm glasses fell off." Angela said, where her mind had intended to tell Jessica the truth, the wrong words came out of her mouth, making her feel even more ashamed of herself. She couldn't even make her own mouth say what she wanted.

***********

"See...." Snowflaik said with a devilish grin, as she saw Xianna straighten her clothes, and trying to get her shirt tugged into her skirt. "See... Now you've kissed a girl..." Snowflaik finished her sentence, as she stepped forward, and brushed tugged a small strand of hair behind Xianna's ear, as she let her fingers brush over Xianna's cheek.

"Was it what you expected Xi? I uhm... I mean... did you uhm... like my kiss?" Snowflaik answered Xianna, in a suddenly somewhat unsteady voice. Almost as if she was afraid that Xianna would now turn around and run away, thinking Snowflaik was making a fool of her again. Truthfully, Snowflaik was afraid that what she had just done, wasn't on impulse. In fact, she had had a crush on Xianna, even when she had bullied her. Just because it was what people had expected of her. What her own mother expected of her.

Snowflaik felt a little insecure though if it had been the right call to make, to just bluntly kiss Xianna like that. What if she would not like it, what would she do then. And how were they ever going to be able to keep this a secret, for John, for her mum, for Xianna's dad. Where Xianna didn't even know her dad. There were so many problems on the road ahead, if this was going to work out and if Xianna did like it.

And then Snowflaik shrugged her shoulders slightly, as one thought came to her mind. If Xianna was going to turn her down, then so be it. Things would get back to the way they were before. With just one exception. Instead of bullying Xianna, Snowflaik would ignore her completely, and with her she would make sure everybody would ignore Xianna.
 
Jessica sighed.

"OK, Angie," she said. "If that's what you tell me happened..."

She didn't add "Even though we both know it's a lie." She didn't have to. She was disappointed in her lover, totally disappointed. Angela could not help being weak, and helpless. It was beyond her control. But lying... to her lover...

She walked away, went back and lied back onto the bed, frowning. She lit a cigarette, wishing she could hide how upset she was.

*****

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Oh shit!!!

If only she'd hated it.

If she'd hated that kiss, all might have been well. She could have walked away, right now. Walked back to John. Sure, Snowflaik would have hated her afterwards, might even have bullied her like mad. But, weirdly enough, she'd been bullied so often, that was almost in her comfort zone! But what wasn't in her comfort zone was... was...

Was knowing that all her life she'd been wrong about herself.

It wasn't even being a Lesbian that was the problem. She was in no way homophobic, and could accept her mother's relationship with Jessica perfectly well. It was far more complicated...

Being bullied and humiliated was one thing. Running home in tears afterwards... well, that went with the territory of being a weak, nerdy girl. Crying herself to sleep - she'd done it so often, it was almost a comforting ritual. But...

But what worried her was not enjoying being kissed by a girl - and, yes, it really did taste like cherry chapsticks - it was surrendering. It was submitting. It was actually liking the fact that she could feel warm, safe, protected, even if by a younger girl. The knowledge that this wonderful feeling could not have happened if she were strong, and able to defend herself. Did this make her some kind of emotional vampire? A user? It was one thing being a weakling, a victim. She could salve her conscience by telling herself it was not her fault. But now, even this outlet was gone.

She liked being a victim, and needing protection. And how could she deal with this? And here was Snowy, waiting for her answer.

"Yes," she said, at last. "Shit, yes, Snowy. I... I loved it. I... I want to do it again, and again, and again."

It hadn't been the kiss, after all, that was the problem. But how would Snowflaik feel, when she realized she was being used? Even if using her wasn't really Xianna's fault?
 
Angela felt her heart drop, as she watched Jessica leave the bathroom. Her reaction was obvious, she had seen through the story she had made up with such ease, but Angela was so used to making up excuses, that it had become a habit to just make up what happened. Angela just stood there for what felt like hours, but were only a few minutes. Just watching her own reflection in the mirror. Then, only a few minutes later, she turned on the faucet and splashed some water in her face, to clear off the make up that had ran out. Then she dried her face off with a towel and picked up her hairbrush, and started brushing her hair, while looking at the mirror, deep in thoughts. Angela knew there was something she had to do.

In her mind, Angela saw happening what had happened during her marriage. She had always been lying to him too, about the times she had walked into a door, tripped, bumped her head, so many excuses had been used. Her husband had gotten sick and tired of it, and not just that, he had just grown tired of her, if he had even felt some love for her at all during their marriage. And now, she was lying to the new lover in her life too. Making up stories. And she had seen the disappointment on Jessica's face when she left the bathroom. She had disappointed Jessica immensly, and now JEssica would just gather her stuff, not that she had much with her, and leave her again too. Even if it had only been a couple of days this time, at least there had been someone who wanted her, who accepted her.

Angela dropped the brush on the sink, and with her head down, she slowly walked out of the bathroom. She could smell the cigarette smoke, something she really hated to smell in her house, but since it was Jessica smoking, she wasn't going to object. Angela slowly stepped into the bedroom, where she found Jessica smoking a cigarette on her bed. Angela just stood there for a while, in the door opening. Finding the right words and trying to psych herself up.

"The... uhm... They took revenge on me..." Angela softly said, as a tear slowly ran down her cheek. "B...B...Because y...you beat them up..." Angela still didn't dare to look up, and didn't even know if Jessica was listening, or like the last days her husband had been with her, just ignored her. "P... Please... don't leave..."

****************

Snowflaik was studying Xianna's reactions to her kiss. It was funny to see her pretty face change so much in so few seconds. Snowflaik didn't know why she actually had kissed Xianna, it had been tempting to do so, it had been tempting for so long. She couldn't really understand why she was so intrigued by Xianna. What was it that made her want to get Xianna's attention?

Snowflaik had loved the kiss as much as Xianna had. It had made her feel so much better then all the times she had been bullying Xianna. This just had given her so much more satisfaction. And best of all, it had aroused her. Xianna wanted more kisses, well she did to. and more... She couldn't care less about the opinion of other people anymore. This was what she wanted, and this was what she had wanted ever since she had seen Xianna for the first time. It had been the reason to start bullying the girl in the first place. Because Xianna had seemed too good for her. Because Xianna hadn't even seen her standing when Xianna had come to this school for the first time. Snowflaik had tried to be nice, but was ignored. And that made her bully Xianna, because she couldn't ignore her then. And now... they had kissed...

Snowflaik stepped up to Xianna again, and stood right in front of her. Her eyes locked on Xianna's eyes. Snowflaik whispered "Ask me Xi... Ask me to kiss you again!"
 
Jessica continued lying on the bed, puffing gently at her cigarette, pausing to tap the ash into a saucer she had taken from the kitchen, for Angela's house was, Jessica had discovered, bereft of ash trays.

"Leave?" she said, at last. "Honey, who said anything about leaving?" She smiled. "Haven't you got this, yet? I'm here for the long haul. Sure, I'd prefer you not to have lied to me, but I can see that what happened today was a bit embarrassing for you. I guess it's kind of flattering, you not wanting me to know what happened." She reached out and gently brushed away the tear that was running down the redhead's cheek. "I'm in love with a submissive woman, and I guess it's what I have to expect. Goes with the territory, I guess."

She grinned. "I saw you this morning, before you went to work. The way you carefully checked the window, to make sure there was no-one outside waiting to bully you. I know how you spend every day in dread that someone's either going to bully you or Xianna, and you'll have to try and protect her and fail. How you dread meeting anyone who's seen you being humiliated, and how hard it is to face them. Look, Angie, it's the same for me. I have to pass people in the street, who think 'Hey, there's that Jessica Hartfield, who got sent away to the nut hutch 'cos she's a psycho. If I go into a shop, and the person behind the counter knows about me, they act terrified. Yesterday, the girl in Tesco accidentally overcharged me, and when I told her about it she virtually wet herself, even though I was smiling at her, and made it plain I wasn't going to make an issue of it. But you... you just accepted me, not caring about my past. You've got that different sort of courage."

She patted the bed.

"So sit down, beautiful one, and let me dry those lovely eyes properly."

*****

It was not often that Xianna dared disobey an instruction from a much stronger girl (which, for Xianna, meant just about everyone over the age of ten!) But this time she did.

She did not ask Snowflaik to kiss her again.

Instead, for the first time in her life, she took the initiative. Saying nothing, she walked forward, grabbing the back of Snowflaik's head with one hand, and putting the other in the small of the other girl's back. And locked her lips onto hers, kissing deeply, darting her tongue in and out, her eyes shut this time, ignoring the whistles and shrieks from other girls who were standing around, their cries of "get a room, you two," or "don't they ever come up for air?"

She held the kiss a long, long time, leaving no doubt just how much she had enjoyed the first kiss!
 
"S... So you're not leaving me?" Angela asked with real concern. She hated that she had lied to her, but the lies had not been to disappoint Jessica, she had said the lies to herself. To make herself feel better and to make herself believe she was stronger then she really was. All the lies she had told Xianna and the lies she had now told Jessica, had been mostly to keep herself going, not to get depressed and do who knows what. She didn't want anyone, and especially herself, to think that she was a complete loser. It was bad enough the people who were constantly bullying her knew how weak she was, and how easily she could be intimidated. Even though she knew she failed at hiding it for the ones she loved, it was her own little way to ignore the feeling that she was weak.

Angela slowly walked over to Jessica, and sat down on the bed, as she chuckled with the mental image of the reaction of the girl at the Tesco. "I uhm c...can't stay... uhm I have to go to uhm work... they'll uhm get mad... and... and... get into trouble..." Angela said shyly, while she put her hands in her lap, and was looking to her side, to where Jessica was sitting.

She just couldn't believe that people would see Jessica as a threat, or would be scared of her. Sure, Angela herself had been scared the first time she had seen her. And sure, Angela had seen how intimidating Jessica could be. And yes, she had witnessed how hard she could be, like when she had scared off the two young girls. But still, Angela liked Jessica, and not just because she had made love to her, but because Jessica let Angela be herself. She didn't ask her to be strong, she didn't tell her to fight off other people. She just let her be. And on top of that, Jessica made her feel wanted, warm and desired. She lighted a fire inside Angela, which hadn't been there for a long time. Jessica's touches were like millions of tiny electric shocks that were sent through Angela's body. Her tongue felt like magic, when she pleased her. The thought alone, made Angela blush again. And all the time, Angela's hadn't even dared to really touch Jessica. To try and make Jessica feel the same way. She hadn't dared, because she was unsure of what to do. Using your hands on yourself was easy, but on someone else. And then someone as experienced as Jessica. That was something completely different.

*************

Snowflaik was stunned. She hadn't expected this reaction from Xianna, when the girl suddenly moved in on her, and kissed her back. Where Snowflaik had expected a shy request for another kiss, Xianna just moved in on her. Their lips locked together, and Xianna's hands on the back of her head and in her back. As soon as Snowflaik found back her composure, she responded on the kiss, and let her tongue sort out Xianna's tongue. And as their tongues were dueling together, Snowflaik slipped her arm around Xianna's back, and pulled her towards her a little more, wanting to feel her body pressing against her, ignoring all the remarks of the other kids around them.

Snowflaik felt her heart pound like mad, and when their kiss finally broke off, they were still standing close together. Each had a hand on the other's back, and their eyes met. "Wow Xi...," Snowflaik said, as she felt her heart pound fast in her chest, "that was amazing!" she continued, before bending in and giving Xianna's lips another quick kiss.

"You can kiss me anytime babe! You are so amazingly sexy you know!" Snwoflaik said, as she let her hand slowly glide down Xianna's back, to the curve of her butt. "What do you say? Wanna skip school for today? and find a place where we can have some fun together?" Snowflaik said in a hoarse tone.
 
Jessica decided to take the lesser of two evils and walk Angela to the bus stop. She knew that having to be protected was totally humiliating for an adult woman, especially since it was from two school kids little older than her daughter, but even that was better than having someone else pick on her and have her need to run home in mortification yet again.

She held her hand all the way to the bus stop. A couple of people that they passed stared at them, but Jessica didn't care. She knew that as well as her other embarrassments, Angela felt awkward about this - but, she reasoned, if they had any future together, she would have to overcome her inhibitions.

"OK, tell me how you feel," she said, "about me protecting you. I want to know. I love you, and I want to know everything about your feelings, babe!"

*****

Xianna was trembling, with excitement and fear. More than anything she desperately wanted to agree to Snowflaik's suggestion. But she was terrified to say "yes."

"B-B-But won't we g-get into trouble?" she asked, knowing that this made her look a total dweeb. But unlike Snowflaik, she was still very timid about breaking rules. And even if they didn't get caught, what if Jessica were to find out. Xianna was not frightened of her mother, but she was of her mother's lover!

And then, she relaxed. How could Jessica ever find out? And even if she did, what would she do. She'd already as good as said that she wouldn't interfere in the way Angela disciplined her (or failed to) as long as she showed her mother respect.

"Where d-d-did you have in mind?" she asked, a thrill running through her.
 
Angela was blushing heavily, when she noticed people watching them as Jessica took her to the bus stop. After every few steps, Angela glanced over to Jessica, and saw her determined look. She felt strangely comfortable, but also slightly embarrassed that Jessica had to walk with her to the bus stop, just because she was scared of two young girls.

"I...uhm... I feel okay now...," Angela answered truthfully. She was feeling so much better now that Jessica was walking with her. And it felt also very good to have told Jessica the truth about what had happened earlier at the bus stop. She was going to have to work on her issues to stop making up stories and she knew that.

Not long after they reached the bus stop, the bus drove up and Angela turned towards Jessica and said "I... uhm...I love you..." before turning around to get on the bus.

**************

"Yes," Snowflaik simply answered, "Yes, we will get in trouble. You won't get into as much trouble as me. Chances are that they will expel me from school, if I skip class again. You will get suspended for one or two days, that's all. So don't worry 'bout it. For me they've been looking for reason to send me away for a long time anyway, so why not give them a good reason?"

Snowflaik didn't wait for Xianna to answer, instead she took Xianna's hand in hers, looked at her, and they turned around, walking away from school. "We'll go to my house, okay?" Snowflaik asked. She didn't really dare to go to Xianna's house, with Jessica being around there. "Oh shit," Snowflaik suddenly said, while she stopped. "My mum's probably home and if she catches me skipping school again, she'll kill me, unless we sneak past her really quietly, so she won't know we're home. Can you be quiet Xi?" Snowflaik asked.

She really didn't want to spoil things, and was thinking about an alternative location. When she suddenly got a grin on her face. "Well, there is an alternative we could take Xi, but that might be a little more dangerous too." She couldn't resist and again gave Xianna a quick kiss on her mouth, before continuing. "But that might just make it extra special too. You see, around the block from my house, there's this shed, I know one of my friends has slept there once, it's an old shed, and nobody uses it anymore. But we could check it out to see if it works?"
 
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