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Worst Moives You've Ever or WILL NEVER See

Ok I will probably get hammered here but I don't count cheezy B flicks as Worst Films because they are kind of meant to be bad and are fun because of it. So that said I have seen heaps of worst films, the most recent being

World War Z - What a bore this film was, there is no plot, other than a Zombie apocalypse, not much gets explained and in the end nothing is resolved. Apparently the book is way better.

The Hunger Games - Another bore, I simply didn't care about any of the characters. Also reminded me of the Japanese film Battle Royale

Films I will never see - Anything with George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Quentin Tarantino, Sean Penn all self indulgent bores in my opinion.

Also the often mentioned Battleship - because, well it's a board game!!!!!!!!!!

Also crap like Django and anything else that spouts weird Left Wing Politics.

Oh and Snakes on a Plane, I like to confuse people though by asking them what it is about....


I would also like to add a category to this -

Films I started watching but walked out of/turned off -

The Expendables 2 - The first one was ok for it's genre, I don't expect much, the second one just had too many characters, too much time spent trying to get everyone's head on and I got bored with the whole thing within about 30 minutes, just another film where you know how it will end before it even starts.
 
I refuse to watch anything Sylvester Stallone is in after he went Loonicrat Fringe about guns... no way that works with the movies he is in.

The movie he did with Ben Pratt and Sandra Bullock, Demolition Man was a total reverse of what the man is now saying... which goes to show one of two things: if you don't stick to your beliefs and defend them, you pretty much fall for anything or he is one of the biggest hypocrites in the movie industry.

As for all the rest you listed, littlerooster... it is understandable about what you are saying. My only defense of Nicole Kidman is that perhaps she was married to Tom Cruise just a little too long, as that nut is self indulgent to blasphemous proportions. He "refused" to play the character he portrayed in the film version of "Rock of Ages' as written, so he was rewritten as the "hero" of the movie, so I will never be paying money to see any film he is in again. As for Snakes.., again.. after Samuel L. opened his mouth as started talking about things he know not of.. he is out as well.

Also, if we have to "Disqualify" movies that are intentionally bad in any way... let me put a classification on here in general... remakes that should not be done! I will not watch any remakes that just should be left alone and are just done because a studio can. Like with cloning the dinosaurs back into existence, they should have stopped and thought "should we???" first.
 
Mister Grimm said:
Santa Claus Versus The Martians.......I shit you not this is a real movie
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Yeah.. it is.. Mystery Science Theater 3000 made an episode from it.

It was the first time in my life I wish I had been drunk or stoned...... so I could explain it as a bad tequila, bourbon, or drug induced hallucination....
 
Batman & Robin - the one with Mr. Freeze and his horrible ice puns and the bat costumes all had rubber nipples.

The Happening, Lady in the Water, and Devil - unlike most people, I was still with M. Night Shayamalan after The Village(one of my absolute favorite movies) but then he crushed that loyalty and threw it away with his next few movies. The Happening is ironically named because nothing happens in it; worst idea for a movie and they spoil the explanation within the first 30 minutes. You spend the next hour and half cringing as the actors flop around with their emotionless characters. Devil is staged entirely in an elevator and is a murder mystery with what you'd either term as completely predictable ending or a total cop out. Lady in the Water was just really weird with poorly veiled middle fingers at his critics throughout.

The Lost Boys: the Tribe - the first one from the 80's was basically a music video. The second one was just a regurgitation of the same plot. The only good thing about it was Corey Feldman.

I couldn't sit through Tangled. The characters were not likable and the songs were not catchy or even remotely entertaining. It felt sloppy and thrown together.

Liar Liar, The Number 23, and the Majestic - some of Jim Carrey's attempts at more serious roles where he completely falls flat. Liar Liar is just obnoxious and horrible.

Little Nicky - I hate that movie with a passion. Sandler's character is not likeable and his stupid speech impediment makes me wanna choke him. In fact, I stopped watching Sandler after Click. You won't get me to sit through That's My Boy, Bedtime Stories, Jack & Jill, 50 first dates and You Don't Mess With the Zohan. All films where Sandler desperately flails about trying to remain relevant. Go through your mid-life crisis already. Jesus.

Godzilla - you remember? That '98 Matthew Broderick vehicle with the horrible creature effects and the plot that made no sense? Yeah...

I will struggle, kicking and screaming, slaughtering all who oppose me if you try to get me to sit down for The Smurfs. No, just, no, you sick fuck.

S. Darko - that sequel to Donnie Darko, starring Daveigh Chase as his younger sister. Except that's where the comparison ends. Made by people who didn't understand a single damn thing about the first movie. Even if you erase the connection to it, it's a piece of garbled garbage anyway.

I didn't watch all of Baby Mama. I couldn't fucking do it. I got about to the part where the blonde chick is all "I want to have your baby!" and Tina Fey is all "I want you to have my baby" and then it goes all musical and starry eyed. No. Stop right there with that insane obnoxious bullshit.

1408 - John Cusack trying to remain "leading man for horror/thriller relevant" and he fails with a miserable plot that doesn't make sense. So many holes, too emotional, over acted.

The Flinstones - the liveaction one with John Goodman. I remember liking it as a kid so I rewatched it last year. I will never get that hour and a half back.

I've got more but I'll leave it at that for now. I've seen a lot of sucky ones. Mostly because I suck at predicting whether something will be good just from looking at it. I've found a lot of gems that I expected to be crap just by sitting through them. But then, I've found a lot of crap that way too. Heh.
 
Rudolph Quin.. you know what is right with you? You know what good movies are supposed to be. You have an incurable case of good taste. *shakes your hand if allowed*

Anything with Tina Fey is a waste of time, be it television or movies, but I am very glad that you said it. Also, the fact that you put the live action Flintstones in there is precisely the point. Many of those movies are for an extremely immature mindset.. and those who still like those movies over a certain age are not adults.

As far as the sequels you listed... Clooney as Batman was bad enough, but now they are going to have Picknflick as Batman.. so I shudder to think what is going to be produced there.

As for things to add....

All three Starship Troopers movies. The first was only like a fraction of the novel it was based on, and the plot was warped from a story about appreciating the reality that freedom is not free to a Loonatic fantasy then expected to get away with two sequels that rewrote the story back in a demented way... no thanks.

Dead Silence. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?!?!? I watched it.. and never so badly wanted the time returned to my life clock.

Mad Money. I liked it better when I saw it when I was younger, as it was a uncredited remake of a movie from the late 1970s or very early 1980s titled "How To Beat The High Cost Of Living". I say uncredited because it was what they call a "re-imagining", something they do when they don't want to sometimes admit it is a remake and want to disavow that is what it is.

And.. speaking of "re-imaginings...."

The "Total Recall" from last year. Every hot female actress deserves the occasional bad movie.. red heads and brunettes with extraordinary talent more than others... but Kate Beckinsale (one of my go-to actresses) can consider this one her "Battlefield: Earth". A great sci-fi story destroyed by Loony Left crap just because.
 
I would say the World War Z book is generally a good deal better than the movie when it comes to general quality. Though what pissed most people off about that movie is that the only things the two share are the title. Yea, they both focus on a zombie apocalypse, but the movie just makes up it's own shit. And they also plan to make movie versions for Max Brook's other two books, The Zombie Survival Guide and The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded attacks. I'd say it's guaranteed they'll be just like WWZ in how faithful they are to the books. Especially considering just what kind of books they are.

The Zombie Survival Guide is just that. A survival guide written about what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse with some reports of attacks in there that leads into WWZ. And Recorded Attacks is simply those reports in graphic novel form. So, they'll no doubt just tack on the names of those two books to two more movies of Brad Pitt trying to save the day with his unkillable hero armor on....

When it comes to Starship Troopers, there's actually four of them now. Invasion is the latest one and it's a CGI movie that brings back the three main people from the first movie. So it basically goes.......

1-Cheesy as all hell B movie type stuff.
2-Take out everything from 1 that people even remotely liked. Add in some laser guns and there you go. A steaming pile of suck.
3-Half assed attempt to bring back fans of the series by bullshitting Rico back in and tossing in a couple of hot chicks for fan service. Oh and mechs too. Though, having the Federation become Christianity on steroids made for a humorously ridiculous ending.
4-Takes a far more serious tone than the other movies. Brings back Rico again as well as Carmen and Carl from the first movie. Being entirely CGI, it's flashy as hell. Not cheesy like the other 3, but stereotypical in a number of regards. Such as the main character being some moody badass soldier that was put in prison for I forget why, only to be let out to help save the day. Still does have some cheese though as there's an asian guy in the unit who knows karate who at one point, ends up fighting a bug hand to hand. It also continues the pattern of pointless fan service nudity from 1 and 3.

And I'm gonna concur with the Adam Sandler stuff. I liked Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore and 8 Crazy Nights......but other than that, I just can't stand him or any of his movies after those.
 
But to get back on topic....

Worst I've seen

Day of the dead- I'm talking about the 2008 one, not Romero's. This is one of the movies I've seen in my life where I can't name a single good thing about it. It was just so damn awful. Such as how they handle zombies having something of their previous memories/mind. A number of zombie apocalypse fiction have explored that as of late, but this movie takes it in an ubelievabley idiotic direction.

I'm gonna second The Happening. For me, what got to me the most was the performance of ol Marky Mark and Zoey Daschanel. They're actually two actors I usually like, but in this movie.........what.....the......hell....The worst acting I've seen outside of that damn Secret Life of the American Teenage show on ABC Family. That show......ugh.......my head hurts just thinking about it.

Worst I'll never see

Don Jon- Apparently, it's doing really well and getting tons of praise, but the previews for it just make it look absolutely idiotic to me.
 
Rudolph Quin said:
Batman & Robin - the one with Mr. Freeze and his horrible ice puns and the bat costumes all had rubber nipples.
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You know a movie is bad when....a movie's director apologizes to the fans he pissed off.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6epsGrcuTs[/video]

But for real, I thought Batman Forever was decent, even as a 9 or 10 year old kid and even now. But Batman & Robin sucked more then Paris Hilton. I couldn't EVER buy Clooney as Batman, although somewhat I could accept him as Bruce Wayne. And that SOMEWHAT is being extra generous. And another thing....BARBRA GORDON is BATGIRL!!! Not Alfred's long lost niece or granddaughter or whatever (I cannot remember, nor will I ever watch that movie again to find out.) There's a making of on youtube where even the cast make fun of this piece of crap.
 
Worst movie I've seen is probably This is the End. It's basically a 107 minute-long rape joke. It's disgusting, vulgar, offensive, and has the comedic input of a 14 year-old boy who is obsessed with 4chan and saying 'epic fail'.

As far as for a film I don't ever want to see, I'd have to say Forrest Gump. I know it's supposed to be an American classic or something like that, but it just looks so, so agonizingly boring.
 
Film I never want to see- Bridesmaids. This is another movie that got quite a fair bit of positive attention. I saw it commonly advertised as Hangover for chicks. I really liked the first Hangover, and do enjoy some crude humor like that every now and again, but all the previews I saw for Bridesmaids made it look like just a big steaming pile of crap.
 
CutePhoenix said:
Film I never want to see- Bridesmaids. This is another movie that got quite a fair bit of positive attention. I saw it commonly advertised as Hangover for chicks. I really liked the first Hangover, and do enjoy some crude humor like that every now and again, but all the previews I saw for Bridesmaids made it look like just a big steaming pile of crap.
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I so can understand that, CutePhoenix. That is because it is a ripoff of the Hangover movies.. which in turn was a ripoff of an episode of the Simpsons.. which in turn was a ripoff of an episode of the last season of Night Court.
 
Frankly, I have no intention of ever seeing any of Melissa Mccartney's movies that are out. I don't hate her or anything, but every movie she's in nowadays just look so freaking awful. Such as Identitiy Thief and that one with Sandra Bullock.
 
Worst Movie i've ever seen: Either Blues Brothers 2000 or any of the Saw saga. I mean, Blues Brother (1980) was a great hit, of not one of my favourite movies of all time. But Blue Brother 2000...the jokes were lame, the acting was lame, the music was lame (The intro music of John the Revelator was the only good one) and the special effects were unnecesary. Plus, the plot was pathetic.
As for Saw...I mean, it's just traps, and a dead guy with a never-ending ammount of heirs who all they do is follow a lame plot. And the movie itself is plain boring...The movie itself? The whole saga: from "Saw" to "Saw 19: The return of Goofy".

Movies I'm not planning on seeing: Marley and me 2. Seriously? SERIOUSLY!? MARLEY AND ME 2! Can you explain to me this shit! C'mon! Be serious! The dog is dead! It's like a Titanic sequel! God, the amount of creativity nowadays is outstanding.
 
CutePhoenix said:
But to get back on topic....

Worst I've seen

I'm gonna second The Happening. For me, what got to me the most was the performance of ol Marky Mark and Zoey Daschanel. They're actually two actors I usually like, but in this movie.........what.....the......hell....The worst acting I've seen outside of that damn Secret Life of the American Teenage show on ABC Family. That show......ugh.......my head hurts just thinking about it.

Worst I'll never see

Don Jon- Apparently, it's doing really well and getting tons of praise, but the previews for it just make it look absolutely idiotic to me.
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Dude, exactly! I went into the Happening thinking, "Oooh, another thriller by M. Night! Yeah! AND it's got a stellar cast to carry it!" Then Marky Mark and Ms. Deschanel completely disappointed me. Mark's lines came off stilted and unnatural and Zoey's character was dull and very cold. Part of a movie's/story's job is to create empathy for the characters. I was hoping through the whole thing that we'd get to watch them die.

Thank you for mentioning Don Jon. I just saw the trailer for that this past week and I have a bad taste in my mouth about it. I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love Scarlett Johansson. This looks like a total flop though.

JayM1125 said:
You know a movie is bad when....a movie's director apologizes to the fans he pissed off.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6epsGrcuTs[/youtube]

But for real, I thought Batman Forever was decent, even as a 9 or 10 year old kid and even now. But Batman & Robin sucked more then Paris Hilton. I couldn't EVER buy Clooney as Batman, although somewhat I could accept him as Bruce Wayne. And that SOMEWHAT is being extra generous. And another thing....BARBRA GORDON is BATGIRL!!! Not Alfred's long lost niece or granddaughter or whatever (I cannot remember, nor will I ever watch that movie again to find out.) There's a making of on youtube where even the cast make fun of this piece of crap.
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Dude, [/thread]. Seriously, that's damning evidence right there when the director has to apologize for what he made and when the actors are making fun of it and calling it a piece of crap. It's their project! They're IN the damn thing and they hate it! That's like how I feel about the Twilight series as well, with the way the actors actually expressed dislike for it in interviews. When there isn't pride for the project then it speaks pretty plainly about what was produced.

Ahri the Kumiho said:
Movies I'm not planning on seeing: Marley and me 2. Seriously? SERIOUSLY!? MARLEY AND ME 2! Can you explain to me this shit! C'mon! Be serious! The dog is dead! It's like a Titanic sequel! God, the amount of creativity nowadays is outstanding.
Click to expand...

I hadn't heard about that and now it makes me want to bang my head against a wall. Seriously, can't they just end or finish a story anymore? Just let it be. But no, they gotta try and cash in on the emotional effect of the first film again by making another one. Unbelievable.
 
Apparently, Don Jon is being rather highly rated. I don't know how much money it's actually made so far, but critics have really loved it. Though, can't say I'm surprised. JGL can't seem to do any wrong these days. He could cameo in a movie for all of 5 seconds and people would still praise his performance........

Movie I'll never see- After Earth. Not only does this movie just look plain bad, I can't stand Will Smith. I use to like him back in the day of Fresh Prince of Bel-air as that show was rather good. Especially a certain few emotional episodes. But, once Will Smith started getting into movies......he just started getting on my last nerve. And I'm certainly not the only one. Plenty of people seem to hate him nowadays and even a number of the Fresh Prince cast have said he became an insufferable arrogant douchebag on set after Independence Day became a big success.
 
Plan 9 From Outer Space was intended to be stupid, so officially, it, like Howard the Duck, doesn't really count.

Eat, Pray, Love (I don't care if I have posted this one before.. it deserves being posted again...)

I Know Who Killed Me

Cutthroat Island

13 going on 30

Runner Runner

The Avatar Sequel (Never saw the first one, as I said.. loved the movie three quarters of the plot was stolen from Dances With Wolves, though)

The Invention of Lying
 
@Ruph- yeah, but Pla 9 didn't PLAn on being so shitty. Carboard sets, strings attached to infatable UFOs, and Bela Lugosi dying so they had to switch the actor halfway through, and he had to cover his face with a cloak or some shit the entire film.

Birdemic

Wrong Turn.

Gingerbread Man.

Leprechaun in Space.

Jason X

Freddy versus Jason
 
I in fact LIKE the following movie... I just want people to at least point out a few fallacies (if there are any) with the movie. I may offer a counter argument in favor of the movie in particular.


This is a simulation of a stereotypical, STEREOTYPICAL Superman fanboy/fangirl and flamer or anything new having to do with Superman's response to Man of Steel: ERHMEGERD MERNERFSTERHWASHHURRIBUH!


Now if anyone would please just elaborate as to why people, including long time fans of the Man of Steel would bother ranting about this film when it was CLEARLY made for a different generation, not entirely JUST for the generation who grew up with a different social set of values and 'norms' and grew up with the comic book.
 
You mean ASIDE from the fact that it's supposed to be a 'gritty' remake of an already existing movie, a trend which Hollywood is way too eager to jump on at the first chance they see for countless franchises (Dredd, Total Recall, Oldboy, Man of Steel, etc etc etc etc etc?)

Well, you might have me there. Perhaps I am not giving the film a proper chance, but my opinion for the time being remains unchanged- Superman could always be done better. For me, there's really no way to make him interesting. Now, if in the future they can make a Superman IP movie that actually makes the viewer WANT to see it, something that show how human (hah) he is or how even when weakened he can find a way to persevere and overcome adversity like we humans do (the only villains I can think of that can make him do this are Metallo, Braniac (in a sense) and MAYBE Lobo or Mongul for straight-up slugfests), maybe then people can stop giving the Superman films so much flak.
 
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