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The Half Moon Club (EvelynWillows x Collector of Rarities)

Joe had to laugh at her boldness. In truth, though, she was a pretty good fuck. She didn't whimper when he fucked her hard, and he was certain that she wasn't going to be one who was ever too tired to toss around in bed. Or on the kitchen table, or where ever they wound up being. He grinned as he got back in his car and drove home. It was still a good hour and a half until he needed to be at the club, but there was a lot to get done in that time.

He did his workout quickly, showering and dressing for work and back on the road again in just under an hour. Back at the club Bruce was having a new system of cameras put in to better the security team's surveillance. Joe watched as the technician put the cameras through all their paces. "So...no more private dark corners to play around in, hm?"

Bruce laughed. "Heat sensitive cameras, and low light technology. Not only will we be able to know if someone is back there, we'll be able to tell who they're with!" He nodded to the computer. "Best part is the data storage. Every moment that the security cameras are on it records and backs up to the cloud. And...even if we're not open, the cameras pick up movement."

"Damn, Bruce. You'd think you were running something a little more top secret than a dance club."

"Liability, boy. That's what it all boils down to." He could smell Carla all over Joe, even though he'd had two showers since they last fucked. "By the way, how's things going with the new girl?"

"Who, Carla?" Joe shrugged. "She's okay."

The older man grinned and nodded. "Okay, huh? That's a new word for fuckable?"

"Bruce! Private life is private life!"

"Yeah, well go take your private ass and get up in the rafters. Lights ten and fourteen are out."

Joe sighed and shook his head. "Yeah yeah...how many idiots does it take to change a light? Apparently just me." He spent the rest of the afternoon switching lights, fixing broken switches, and generally maintaining the club. About an hour before the club opened, their headliner for Saturday's live music night showed up and began to warm up. By the time Carla and the others in the security team arrived, Joe was helping the Screaming Maniacs with their sound tests.
 
Carla closed the door behind Joe and locked it. She was more than confident in her ability to defend herself if her home was invaded, but that didn't mean that she'd make it easy for anyone looking to get inside. With the door secured, she went back in the shower and quickly cleaned herself off, then ran some cold water to help herself calm down after the vigorous session of lovemaking she'd just had. Things were looking up for her: she had a potential mate who was able to keep up with her sexual appetite and she was being social again. With any luck, she'd have a few more friends soon; Freddy seemed nice and she liked the idea of having a gay best friend. Of course, Victoria was in town, so she'd have to be careful, but things were different now than they were thirty years ago: it wasn't anywhere near as easy to kill someone and get away with it. Especially when that someone was related to the head of a fairly influential pack. Of course, this meant that it'd be harder for Carla to off Victoria if the need arose, but Carla was hoping that it wouldn't come to blows.

Freshly showered, Carla put on her work t-shirt and threw on some skintight jeans. She decided not to wear a bra tonight, since she wanted to at least give Joe some ease of access, even if she wasn't wearing a short skirt like he'd wanted her to. Maybe once I know him a little better she thought to herself, letting out a sigh. She didn't have any problem being tantalizing for Joe, but she wanted some assurance that their relationship would actually last before she started giving him that sort of special treatment.

Carla showed up a good ten minutes early. She'd been lucky: the bus had actually been running a bit ahead of schedule that night. She eyed the band setting up as she walked over to Garth. "They don't seem to be the type that people normally dance to," she remarked. "Mosh to, maybe, but I don't know if I'd even fuck to these guys' music. Are live shows a regular occurrence here or are they just for special occasions?"
 
Garth looked over Carla's outfit appreciatively, his eyes lingering on the soft nubs of her nipples hinting through the shirt. "Saturday nights are live music, usually. We have a few locals who play regularly and a few headliners, but it's usually decent stuff. At least, the clubbers seem to like it." He crossed his arms and watched as the band members fiddled with their plug-ins. The main guitarist was having a difficult time with his guitar and began to cuss in a British accent, blaming the equipment and the set up for the lousy sound.

"It's not the cords!" Joe shouted back. "Plug the damn thing in all the way; don't short stroke it."

The guitarist shook his head, his spiked mane shimmering in the light. "It's plugged fucking in you faggot! The cord's shit!"

Joe and DJ Smooth, the braided haired black man from the other night, put their heads together. Joe nodded and went down to the stage. "Here, give me your tool," he said to the guitarist.

"What the fuck, man? My tool? No way."

Joe yoinked the electric guitar from the man's hands and fiddled with the plug-in. The speaker squawked, and he dialed down the amp while testing the guitar. Then he put the guitar though a quick shred, testing out the quality of the sound and putting through it's paces. Once he was done he handed it back to the musician. "There, fixed. You're welcome."

"Dude!" The drummer laughed. "You just got punked with your own tool!"

The guitarist flipped off his band members. "Let's warm up, you skanky pieces of shit." He glared at Joe and then turned his back on the man as he began to count off "One, two, a one two three!"

Joe waved at Garth and Carla on his way back up to the DJ's booth.

"Hey, let me show you the new video system," Garth said to Carla. "We have about half an hour before show time."
 
Carla couldn't help but giggle as the guitarist was put in his place. She enjoyed that little spectacle about as much as learning that Joe knew how to plat guitar, even if his knowledge was only cursory. Carla loved music: anything that made her want to move, to be active in any way spoke to her. Calmer songs, especially sad songs, were good too, but Carla had grown into something of an audiophile in the past few years. She hadn't taken much time to keep up with technology when she was wandering the globe, but once she'd had the money from her time in the MMA, she suddenly became like a kid with a hundred dollars in a candy store: she'd sampled everything and quickly purchased the highest quality versions of everything she liked. Soon enough, she'd found herself with a stereo system that would put most movie theatres to shame and quite the extensive collection of music CDs and digital albums. Still, nothing beat a live performance, especially if the band was good. That, and she rarely got to put her speaker system through its paces without the neighbors complaining.

"New video system, huh?" she asked, falling into step behind Garth. "Who's it supposed to catch? Clubbers or staff?" Carla wasn't particularly concerned about getting caught; if worst came to worst, she and Joe could sneak off into the alley to fuck. No matter how high-tech Bruce's setup was, he was only allowed to peep on his own property, so that was bound to create more than a few loopholes in the security system. If nothing else, the new cameras would give Carla something entertaining to occupy her mind when she was on duty.
 
"It catches all of us," Garth answered. "But mostly it covers the boss's ass if anyone sue us." He took her up to the main office, a fishbowl of a room that looked down upon the two story dance floor and cafe. From the floor the glass looked dark, but from up there it was like being in an airport tower. The screens could be changed to look at any camera just by touching an interactive screen that showed the entire layout of the club. Garth showed her how to switch around. "Even if the camera's not showing what it sees on the screen it still records. So if later we find out that camera three, for instance, was right where someone was assaulted, we can back up the film and take a look."

"One of us will be here at all times. We'll probably trade off periodically. You know how it is; if we do one thing too long we'll get complacent. There will be two of us on the floor and one at the door at all times minimum. Friday and Saturdays are our big nights so we'll be double staffed then. Bruce wants you on full time, though, so we'll have you on the weekend and then taking three of the off days."

Outside, the music was starting to pump through the club. "Sounds like we're starting. Stay here for the first hour. I'll send Glen out to relieve you, and you can show him how this contraption works."

The camera system worked well; it was in color, and where the light was low it worked in infrared to show bodies and actions. Where a vampire walked in front of the camera the outline was fainter, but not so much that someone would think it was unusual. Obviously the programming had been designed to protect the not-quite-alive. Carla could run a finger along the digital map and see what was happening in each area. If she adjusted the speakers she could pick up the sounds as well, though individual words would have been difficult for human ears to pick up through the heavy music.
 
Carla listened as Garth explained everything to her, asking only a couple of questions when she got a few of the sliders mixed up. Once Garth was done, she settled into the chair and began playing with the cameras. She learned exactly where they saw and where they couldn't see, which was actually very little. Bruce had the same instincts Carla did; he could easily ferret out all of the little hidy-holes in the club and get them covered with the cameras. Even though the cameras could get an image through some walls, it was only just distinct enough to determine that someone was behind the wall, but not anything else. Still, it would be easy enough to determine who slipped into the bathroom at what time. This also meant that she could easily pull Joe into a closet or out in the alley for a quick fuck without anything too explicit getting caught on film. An observer would be able to determine that they were fucking, but wouldn't have anything explicit enough to get off on unless they were really desperate.

Once Carla had a feel for the system, it was simple enough to just keep an eye on the crowd. Within half an hour, she was able to stop a good-sized brawl before it gained any real momentum and made a personal note to keep an eye on the handful of patrons who hadn't been ejected for it when it was her turn to go out on the floor. Carla actually found herself having a good deal of fun with the camera setup, but her hour was up far too soon and she grudgingly handed the controls over to Glen and explained how it worked before heading out to the floor. She decided to hang back by the bar to see if Freddy was in. Her senses were keen enough that she could easily hold a conversation with him while keeping an eye on the floor.
 
Freddy walked in late, fashionably dressed, and sporting a bruise on his left cheekbone. He casually pushed away Joe's concerned questions, opting instead to make himself an ice pack at the bar and pretend like nothing happened.

Joe wiped his hands at the bar and leaned against the back counter. "What the hell, Freddy? You going to just act normal and not tell me what happened to you?"

"Gawd, babycakes. Dohn't act like some jealous loverboy alreahdy." He poured himself a drink and downed it with a flamboyant shake of his hips.

"Did Enrique smack you around? I swear I'll..."

"No!" He shook his head vehemently. "No, not Enrique. He's a sweet, perfect, gor-ge-ous mahn! Not my Enrique, Joe-dahling."

Joe saw Carla heading their way and smiled in her direction. "Okay Freddy, don't play games with me. Who roughed you up?"

"E's girlfuhrend." Freddy pouted a bit and put the ice back on his jaw. "She punched me! Et's not mah fauhlt Enrique didn't lock his door, no? Not mah fahlt she walked in on us!"

"Oh God Freddy. Really?" Joe shook his head. "You are a magnet for drama, you know that?"

"Why thank jew!" Freddy beamed. "Thaht's the nicest thing anyone said to me ahll day!"
 
Carla came in half way through the conversation. She was concerned about the bruise on Freddy's cheek, but soon found herself grinning as he recounted the story. Her wolfish side completely agreed with Freddy's logic: after all, it wasn't Freddy's fault that this Enrique found him more attractive than his girlfriend. At the same time, though, she didn't blame the girlfriend for hitting Freddy: after all, she needed to mark her territory. The more Carla was around Freddy, the more she liked him. She had to admit, she'd always wanted to have a gay best friend, and Freddy seemed to want to fill that role for everyone.

"Well, just let me know if you see the girlfriend in the crowd," she said, chuckling as she leaned against the bar. "I'd hate for my favorite bartender to get assaulted again."
 
"Oh Gawd!" Freddy leaned over and gave Carla a kiss on her cheek. "You're so sweet ta me. Don't worry tho; between you and Veronica I'm gonna be well-guarded dahling!" He winked at Joe. "Mahbe jew'll walk me home, hm? A little nightcap perhaps?"

Joe shook his head and tossed the bar towel at his friend. "You can walk yourself home, Freddy. I've got enough girls trying to convert me because everyone thinks we're lovers."

"Don't knock it till ya try it, big boy." Freddy licked his lips and gave Joe a sexy once-over. "Ah'm a good teacher."

"Whatever," Joe teased back. "I've been schooled enough, thank you very much." Something caught his eye and he excused himself, leaving Freddy and Carla alone at the bar for a moment. Freddy popped a few beers and passed them to a young lady who was heading his way. He gave her change, which she put in the jar, and then he turned his attention back to Carla.

"So you gorgeous piece of woman-flesh, how do ya lahk it so far, hm? Find any cute man-meats out there to drag back to your lair?" He made a growling, purring sound while making a cat-swipe motion with his hand and grinned.
 
Carla laughed as Freddy kissed her and returned the gesture, kissing his cheek as he kissed her. It was a force of habit, really: many of her European friends had indulged in the practice of cheek-kissing as a greeting, so when she felt it, she reciprocated without really thinking about it. She did her best not to frown at the mention of Victoria, but decided to push the woman out of her mind. Victoria was in her past and she made a silent promise to herself that she'd do her best not to antagonize her. The last thing she needed was another blood feud with the vampire.

"Oh, but you and Freddy would make such a cute couple," she teased as Joe walked away. She made no attempt to hide the way she starred at Joe's ass as he disappeared into the crowd before turning to Freddy. "Well, I hate to disappoint," she said, "but I've kind of already dragged Joe off to my lair. I wouldn't mind sharing him, though, if he ever decides to give you a try. Just promise me that I'd still get him from time to time and we'd have the occasional threesome, okay? You wouldn't have to fuck me if you don't want to, but we'd both get our share of Joe."

Carla couldn't help but smile: for the first time in over a decade, she felt like she had a place to belong. It was a wonderful feeling and one she intended to preserve at any cost.
 
Freddy grinned. "Oh mah Gawd! Oh mah...Gawd..." he looked at Carla with awe. "You and Joe?" He leaned in and lowered his voice. "So...what was et lahk? Does he like ropes? Hard against the wahl?" He grinned. "Oh spill et, gurl! Tell meh all about him!"

Joe walked into the crowd of dancers, his attention drawn by a strong force that was irresistible to him. He felt it like a thirst that he couldn't fight. A moment later he ran into the lovely Victoria.

"Well hello..." she purred, drawing a finger down his chest. "It's so nice to see you again Joe."

He stared at her in a kind of trance. "Vic- Victoria."

She pulled him into her embrace and kissed him, enticing him further and drawing him tighter into her enchantment. He softened against her, his body responding to her lustful lips. She moved him into a darker corner and ran her leg up between his thighs.
 
Carla was blissfully unaware of what was going on with Joe. She was grinning like a fool, chatting away with Freddy.

"Dunno about ropes," she said, practically giggling like a schoolgirl, "but he likes it rough. Specifically, he likes to give it rough. We went at it three times: first on the bed, then on my counter when I went to get us some water and a third time in the shower when we were supposed to be getting clean. I don't want to dangle any forbidden fruit in front of your face, but he's got stamina!"

She let out a happy sigh, keeping the crowd in her peripheral as she talked with Freddy. "How long have you been after Joe anyways?" she asked. "It seems like you two have been friends for a while. Or am I reading that wrong?"
 
"Oh....Joe and I go a long ways bahk. He and I... Yes. We've been together for a very, very long time." He smiled. "Joe is a good friend, but if he could be more...I would be very happy too jew know?" He smiled and poured Carla a soda, sliding it across to her.

Victoria was deep into a kiss with the entranced Joe when she tasted....dog.

"Oh gross!" she pulled back and dropped him like a hot iron. "You...who have you been kissing? It's disgusting!"

"Carla." He stared at her, his mind still in a stupor from her glamor. "I've been kissing Carla."

"Oh yuck; Carla Winter? And.." she sniffed. "You've been doing more than just kissing her haven't you? I'm so disgusted! Why didn't I smell that bitch on you sooner? You're coming with me and we're going to get you cleaned up proper." She took him by the hand and began to lead him out of the Club. Like a drugged puppy,or a man under an enchantment, he followed her willingly.
 
Carla started to sip her soda when she noticed Victoria leading Joe out of the club. She could tell from the difference in Joe's body language that he was under the effects of something, likely Victoria's glamour. Her mind raced with what she could do to stop them when she suddenly settled upon an idea. She set her drink down and gave Freddy a polite smile. "I'll be right back," she told him before walking briskly to intercept Victoria.

"Victoria!" she said, slipping her arm around the vampire's shoulders, her tone friendly. "You weren't going to slip out without saying goodbye, were you?" Carla lowered her voice; a human wouldn't be able to make out what she was saying over the noise, but Victoria's ears could catch her words. "I don't want another feud with you," she said, her tone becoming more dangerous, "but as you've no doubt noticed, I've already staked a claim to Joe. Now, I will tolerate your presence here; I will not lift a finger against you if you prey on anyone else in this club, but Joe is mine. As you may have noticed, I work security here and I can detain you and Joe until I can prove to my manager that he's not acting like himself. See those dilated pupils? I can also easily prove that his reactions will be slower than normal too. That's classic signs of any number of sedatives. If that happens, you'll either have to lift your glamour from Joe to hide the symptoms, at which case your story and his won't match up, or you can keep the glamour on and I can, at the very least, prove that you were taking advantage of a drugged man, even if I can't prove that you were drugging him. That'd get you thrown out of the club and it'd also look very bad for a straight-laced lawyer like yourself to have on her record." She offered Victoria a fierce grin. "I should also mention that Joe is related to Bruce, who owns this club. I don't think Bruce would take kindly to you placing a glamour on one of his relatives.

"Now, I'm going to admit that you won twenty years ago. You proved that you were stronger and you drove me into seclusion. You're the better monster and I don't want to fight with you again if I can avoid it, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to let you hurt my friends. Now, please release Joe and find another victim from the crowd and we can both go our separate ways."
 
Victoria's gaze narrowed on Carla. She bared her fangs at the bitch and hissed a warning. "You fucked him, that's not exactly what I'd call 'staking a claim'," she countered. "Besides, he's a big boy and I'm not going to hurt him. I'm just going to wash your stink off of him so that the two of us can have a little fun." She smiled.

"Isn't that right, lover?" She turned her attention to Joe.

He smiled back at her and pulled her into a kiss, his hands grabbing her ass and pulling her up against him almost as aggressively as he had when he was fucking Carla earlier that day. Victoria giggled at his passionate kiss and drew her hands through his short hair, her knee traveling along the hard line of his leg suggestively.
 
Carla suppressed a growl as she watched the spectacle, her mind racing for a way to separate Joe and Victoria. She could still have security examine Joe: if Victoria dropped the glamour, she'd have to spend a little while working it back over Joe. It was a subtle ability and not something that she could just throw over him at a whim. Of course, she could also do things to mitigate Victoria's effect on Joe in the meantime, such as snatching a clove of garlic from the kitchen and keeping it in her pocket while she was near Victoria. She'd learned little tricks like that during her globetrotting days. And, in the meantime, she could simply delay Victoria by calling Garth and telling him that Joe was acting a bit weird and that a woman was attempting to leave the club with him.

"Okay," she sighed, lifting a finger to her earpiece, "we'll play it the hard way." She activated her earpiece to contact Garth. "Hey, Garth," she said. "There's a woman here who's trying to take Joe out of the club. Joe's acting a bit weird: he was fine when I talked to him not five minutes ago, but now he's acting a bit sluggish and I don't think I've ever seen anyone get wasted that fast." She offered Victoria a grin. "He also told me yesterday that he didn't want me to let him leave the club with her under any circumstances. I've got a recording of it. What do you want me to do?"
 
"God, you're such a greedy bitch," Victoria scolded Carla. "There's no harm in sharing him; I'm sure he's got enough for us both." She gave Joe a soft kiss. "Later, lover," and put two fingers across his lips. "I'll catch you later."

Joe leaned against the wall and smiled at her, nodding in agreement. It wasn't until she had disappeared into the crowd on the dance floor that he drew in a sleepy breath and seemed to focus. He seemed a little surprised to see Carla there.

"Hey! What are you up to?" He ran a hand through his hair and smiled at her, his pupils back to their normal diameter. "It's not your break time already is it?"

Garth returned to the radio. "He's a grown man," he grumbled. "You think he's been drugged, or is it just a case of the horny toads?"
 
Carla scoffed as Victoria walked off. Victoria knew that Carla wouldn't share just as much as Carla knew Victoria wouldn't share either; predators, especially predators from other species, didn't tend to share unless they were related, and Carla knew that she wasn't in any way related to Victoria. Carla sighed as Joe and Garth spoke to her at the same time. She held up a finger to Joe and pressed her earpiece again. "She's gone now, but I'll be keeping an eye out for her; something weird was going on there."

She made a mental note to tell Bruce about what had happened: it made sense, at least to Carla, the glamours would be just as illicit as aphrodisiacs in the club. At least, that's how it would go if she ran the club, but Bruce might have other policies. She looked up at Joe, a concerned look on her face. "Joe, do you remember what you did when you walked away from the bar? When you and I were talking with Freddy?"
 
Joe gave Carla a playful frown. "Yeah, I went to talk to some of the clubbers. Why?" He was still leaning against the wall as he looked at the athletic woman in front of him. He remembered how she felt against his body earlier and he couldn't help but smile. "You're not getting jealous already are you?"

He moved closer to her and gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry sweetheart, I told you that I'd play nice. There's a lot of flirting on the job but you're the only one I'm going home with."
 
"Joe... you were about to leave the club with another woman," said Carla, her tone calm, but concerned. "You were heading straight for the exit with Victoria. Do you even remember that she was here? I can take you up to the security booth and show you the footage, if you like. It was weird: she said that she was going to take you home to "wash my stink off of you" and you were just going along with it. Do you remember that?"

Carla hated being manipulative like this, but her only other option was to transform into a wolf in front of Joe to lend credence to the fact that Victoria was a vampire who'd used a glamour on him. So, in order to keep Joe's blood inside of his body, Carla would have to lie through her teeth so that she could instill distrust for Victoria in Joe. She did her best not to tell outright lies in front of Joe, but even so, she felt filthy for having to do this to him. She made a note to try to talk to Bruce as soon as possible about revealing the supernatural world to Joe, because like it or not, he was swimming in shark-infested waters thinking that he was swimming with minnows.
 
"Victoria? I remember talking to her, sure." He shook his head at her. "She had mentioned something earlier about her car, but I'm a little fuzzy." He frowned at Carla. "We're talking about the same woman, right? Freddy's partner at the law firm? Are you sure you didn't imagine it because of your past with her?"

He was willing to go look at the Cams with her, but he doubted Carla would have a reason to lie to him. Still, it bothered him that there was a gap in his memory. "You know, it might just be that I haven't slept in a while." He grinned sheepishly. "Maybe I'll go lay down in the office for a while." He smiled at her. "Don't worry; you're here to protect me, right Ms Security Lady?" Joe raised his eyebrows at her playfully. "Maybe if I'm lucky you'll come wake me up when you get your break."
 
Carla smiled and gave Joe's hand a squeeze. "Go lay down first," she said. "Rest up a bit and then take a look at the cameras. I'll just stay out here and do my best not to be paranoid." She waited to see if Joe had anything to say before going back over to Freddy and giving him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry about the commotion," she said. "Joe was acting a little weird and I figured that he probably shouldn't leave with someone if he didn't have his wits about him. He said he's going to go lay down for a bit: apparently he hasn't been sleeping well." She took another sip of her soda. "How long have you been working with Victoria?"
 
Joe gave Carla a confused but friendly look before nodding. He left her wordlessly, his own thoughts a slightly jumbled mess of broken strings and uncertain emotions. Everything had seemed fine until she had shown up a few moments ago, but for the life of him he couldn't remember exactly what he was doing when the lovely bouncer had appeared at his side. He went up to the office and laid down, resting one arm underneath his head before swiftly falling asleep.

Freddy watched Joe walk off through the crowd. Actually, he watched Joe's ass walking through the crowd. That man was built like a solid marble sculpture, he thought to himself. Something about Joe always made the law partner want to throw himself onto silk sheets and be the man's bitch-boy, but as of yet Joe hadn't taken him up on it. He had allowed Freddy to dress him a few times, and those times were completely savored by the part-time bartender. "Hmm? Victoria? Oh, she's been around for about a year, I guess. Maybe a bit longer, but it's only been in the last six or eight months that we really understood what an asset she is to the firm."

He smiled and poured some more soda into Carla's glass. "Why? Wondering if she's single? Or maybe a threesome, hmm? Or a foursome?" He arched his eyebrows theatrically. "She does have that certain draw to her, does she not?"
 
Carla chuckled, but didn't look Freddy in the eye, instead picking her drink back up. She listened as Freddy explained his history with Victoria and did her best to stifle an eye roll when he talked about how useful she was. Of course a vampire made a good lawyer: you could win any case you wanted if you could hypnotize the judge.

"Even if I wanted a threesome," she sighed, "which I don't, I don't think she'd be too keen on the idea. She and I have a history, and not the pleasant kind. I came to Boston to get away from her and it's a little frustrating to see her popping up again after all the pains I went to to get away from her. Still, it's a public space and she's allowed to be here so long as she pays the cover charge, but I don't have to like that she's here." She emptied her glass and set it on the counter. "I don't want trouble from her, but it's hard to do that if she won't leave me alone."
 
"So jew two 'ave a history? Funny...she nevah mentioned that." Freddy shrugged. "New York ez a beeg city, but ze world's a smahl place. You bump into people ovah and ovah again. Sometimes et's fun, hm?" He grinned. "Other times et feels like ah punch in da face."

He leaned in and winked at her. "So how es she not leaving jew alone? Es it Joe? He's quite the desirable piece of mahn-meat. Who cun blame 'er for trying?" He grinned. "Ah'v tried many, many times, and e's lahk a fuckin' priest. But... jew two?" He raised his eyebrows knowingly. "Zomething tells me y'all 'ave done ze bumpity-bump, hey? He was too 'appy tonaht not to 'ave gotten some action today."
 
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