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Anne in training (skittish_butterfly & littlerooster)

I open the shower and stand dripping wet, looking at you as I finish my rambling question. My insides are doing flip flops, like there's no right answer that would calm me down inside. The idea of not going to restaurant feels almost like a relief, not having figure out how to face the outside world, when I'm not even sure how I can face you... or myself. But as you talk about drinking water, and you are sooo unbelievably considerate about making sure I'm ok with it, my heart starts pounding out of my chest again. Your thought of a little... experiment, of just doing it on my hand, it feels almost rational and reasonable, and yet that too feels like something huge. I just nod wordlessly, dripping wet.

I reach for the towel, trying not to let you see my trembling hand as I dry myself off. But its like you see it right away and you're almost apologizing to me, when I'm the one who's the problem, so scared even of a little pee on my fingers, like I never accidentally got a little where it didn't belong before. You're on your knees as I wrap the first towel around my body and reach for another to dry my long wet hair.

Is it a relief to have you on your knees, begging my forgiveness? Letting me off the hook and telling me we should just go out? It doesn't feel that way. It's like I just feel the hook dig deeper into my heart, like it won't let go as long as I pull against it. But it's so hard to face it, to accept the hook and stop fighting it.

I look down at you, trembling again. "Heath... I... I can't, I'm sorry I can't... I mean I can't go to the restaurant, I can't sit there with all those people around us, trying to talk about movies or politics or whatever, when I just can't get my mind off of this, off of you and me. I... maybe its good to start slow, but I need to know you want this from me, to feel it, not just watch it with you."

I go down to my knees on the tile right with you, face to face, my hair still damp on my shoulders with the other towel forgotten. "Please, could we do it right now? Before I lose my nerve? I don't know how long I can handle this without chickening out, and I would hate myself if I did. Please, we can try it slow, like you said. Just m-m-my h-hand." Words suddenly fled from me again as I tried to speak them. So awkward with the realization spreading through me like a warm bath what I was asking you to do.
 
My inner bastard is dancing a jig but I can't show that to you.

"oh honey, I think maybe we should, I can see this is tearing you up, I just want to get past it for the good or the worse, if you don't like it in any way just say it and we will never talk of it again, will you promise me that baby?"

I get up, "OK, let me get some water, I will drink alot very fast, why don't you sit in the bath tub ok? Just kneel there until I come back"

So it was on, here we go, he knew had done a crack up job.

He came back in with a large glass of water and drank it quickly, taking his shoes off on the cold tiles which would help bring about what he needed.

"OK, honey, I think I am ready, are you?"
 
I don't speak to promise, but I nod just slightly, like a shy little kid almost. But what if I don't like it? What if it's hard? Does that mean I can't be with you in this part of your life? My teeth chatter briefly, now scared I won't like it. How could I? Being honest with myself, how could anybody just say they liked it? Being... peed on?

But as you went out to get some water so you could drink it fast, so considerate trying to help me with my jangling nerves, to not delay too much, I slowly and shakily managed to climb back into the tub, still wet. I kept the towel around me as I knelt down, not sure whether I was supposed to take it off. I pulled my wet mane back out of my eyes and sat there waiting like I was in court waiting for a verdict.

My eyes were welling up by the time you came back, asking if I was ready. I nodded hesitantly, looking up at you. "Sh-should I... uhm, uh, t-t-take off the t-t-towel? Or do you want to... uh, s-start with just m-m-my hand?" The bathtub felt so hard under my knees, and I was looking up at you, wondering if this was going to be as difficult as I imagined when I watched the girl in the video. But a strange part of me wanted it to be horrible, so I would know I was giving you a great gift, and not something trivial. To know that I could give you enough to be worthy of the depth of your love.
 
"Yes take the towel off, let me see all of you" I say seeing you are terrified.

"OK lets do this babe, hold your hand out for me." I take my cock from my pants and pee a little, it comes out as a trickle, yellow liquid hitting your hand, splashing off on your body and thighs.

"This is pretty amazing Annie, thank you, if you never want to do it again, it is still the best gift ever" I hold my cock with the foreskin closing the tip, holding my piss.

"Should I finish in the toilet honey?" I ask with sincere consideration.
 
You want my towel off. You want to see my body, and it sends a thrill right through me that you still see me this way, even with me kneeling here waiting for what you're going to do. But I'm still trembling as I undo the towel and let it slip from me, looking up into your eyes and focusing on the way you look at me, the way your eyes trail over my body. I realize what's going to happen as you unzip, and then I realize where everything is going to end up and I quickly pluck the towel from around my knees. I shiver at the thought I'm pulling the towel out of the bathtub so it won't get pee on it. And I'm kneeling here waiting for it.

You ask me to hold my hand out, like it's a romantic gesture, and I half expect you to take it in your hands and tell me that my offering this is enough. But I can see in your eyes, we both know its not. You pull your cock out of your pants and like always it gets my full attention. I look at it, remembering suddenly how it pounded me to the brink of oblivion the night before, like I want to kiss it, and I get a momentary thrill running through my loins that makes me shiver nervously. But I hold still and lift my hand up, holding it out to my side, so its over the tub, so we don't get your pee all over the nice floor but only on me. I want to close my eyes, but I'm too nervous and I have to look, like there is some nasa countdown involved.

You lean forward, being careful too, and then there is a tiny trickle that dribbles out, and then a little more until a flow establishes and your pee streams out toward my hand, hitting my wrist and forearm while you adjust your aim. It is hot and disturbingly pungeant as it splashes as little droplets hit me and bounce to splatter my breasts and my legs with a fine mist of your pee. I half turn away, as if afraid it would touch my face, but it doesn't splash that far. My heart is pumping and I feel my emotions in turmoil as I kneel in the little trickle and puddle running toward the drain on the other side of me, your pee stopping very quickly, quicker than I remembered in the video. My head is buzzing and the smell of what's on my hand and misted on my body and running and pooling under my legs is making it really claer what just happened. You peed on me. And I'm kneeling in it and wet with it. Just like the girl. Or somewhat at least.

I feel a little disturbed with myself, with what I've done, a flicker wondering what my parents would say if they knew they raised their daughter for this. But pretty quickly the feeling that pushes to the front is a sense of... disappointment. I feel horrible, even peeing on my hand and kneeling naked for it and everything the smell, all of it, it was hard. But was that it? I didn't have the feeling, looking up at you, that I had satisfied anything for you. The look in your eyes was nothing like the night before, when before the video even switched off you'd had me on my back with your cock pounding so deep I thought you'd break me in two.

How could I face you, how could I sit across from you at the restaurant now, knowing that even trying to satisfy this... dream of yours, I'd failed. Like it was nice. Just nice. Your words said "amazing" -- "pretty amazing" actually -- and "best gift ever", but the look on your face, loving as it was, and the fact you weren't hard, or leaning in for me, it all said... nice.

"Heath." I stared at the puddle of piss under my knees, trickling down to nearly nothing now but some of it still damp on my bare skin. "I... not in the toilet. If you have more, it should... it should be for me... Please. This is hard, but I don't want us to stop half way, always wondering why it was just never quite right." I saw the girl in my mind's eye, saw the image I imagined of her, saw it coming for me, saw myself offering it to this idea like some willing sacrifice to our love. A sacrifice to bring you back to me, back on top of me, pounding me again with a lust you couldn't control, like last night. "You have to. I need you to finish on me." Tears were leaking down my cheek but I ignored them. I had to do this. I looked up at you, my eyes filled with emotion, practically begging you to make it right.
 
Now that my nerves have dulled down, I think about what I just did, I pissed on a human being, a woman who just wants to please me. She is right of course why would someone want to do that, what is the turn on for the victim. I am taken aback, I used my girlfriend as a urinal.

Pretty amazing stuff.

Now she wanted me to finish on her. I look at her with love, she thinks we are sharing a loving experience, it was hard not to feel bad for her.

But she is right as well in her thoughts, we have to finish, she has to feel more to be able to make a decision, she has to experience this thing that her lover likes so much.

I look down on her, trembling with nerves, wet from piss and her shower, a shower she had because we were going to go out and spoil her.

"Cup your breasts together honey" I say and watch you do this as instructed.

I let go of the tight grip on my foreskin and the piss shoots out from the build up, it splatters on your chest this time, this time splashing off and hitting your chin and lower lip, this piss wells up in your cupped breasts, you look down and see the little lake. I piss some more and finally it trickles out.

"OK honey, uncup them, let the piss fall over you"

I look at you with a smile, my cock now getting hard as I stroke myself over what just happened.
 
Maybe the way you respond is best. If you'd tried to be nice and understanding, if we'd even talked about it for more than a second, I probably would given up right then and there, my nerves so on edge I might even to think of myself as a failure for as long as you chose to stay with me. But you just tell me to cup my breasts together, something I haven't done for you before, more proud of my body for my legs and my tight belly and the way you just know how to bend and use my slenderness however you want. My breasts weren't a point of pride, but if you wanted that, why would I deny you such a thing while kneeling for you to piss on me?

So, strange as it felt for me, teeth still chattering a little nervously, looking up at you as you still stood over me with our cock out, I brought my hands under my breasts, pushing them up, feeling them soft and warm, like I was offering them to you as an extra gift. The approval in your eyes made my insides swirl around but I stayed still.

I didn't expect it at that moment, the sudden harder flow shocked me and I gasped at the feeling of it splattering right against my chest just over where I held my breasts together for you. I turned my face to the left and the right as your pee splashed all over my chin and my cheeks, even in my nose I think as it felt like I could smell your piss all the way right up in my brain. I closed my eyes, unable to imagine it in my eyes. But I held my arms still even as I thrashed my head back and forth and spluttered every time it felt like any significant splash got on my lips.

Unlike the first time, when you peed on my hand for a moment and then stopped, this kept going, until I felt beaten down and utterly soaked in it, my whole existence smelling of your piss, dripping with it, an absolute mess. It had to be in my hair, I was sure of it. And still I felt it and heard it, the warm stream pounding at my chest, in the hollow of my neck, moving around ever so slightly as your aim wavered just a bit. I could feel it pooling between my breasts, but also leaking trhough a little and over my breasts, running down my belly like a river and draining between my legs and over my thighs to the tub.

Your flow finally slowed to a trickle and I opened my eyes, still breathing shallowly, as if I would inhale it, as if my soul was going to flee the humiliation if I breathed out too deeply. I was blinking rapidly, trying not to let myself cry at what just happened to me, and somehow certain a little pee must have gotten in my eyes.

I thought it was over. Then you told me to let go of my breast and let the piss pooled there fall over me too. It wasn't as bad as having to hold a bowl of it over my head and soak myself, like we'd seen the girl do -- right before our best most animal sex ever -- but it hit me with about the same emotional wallop. I knew you loved me, but your words were strangely different, and for a moment I thought I knew what it was to feel like an object, to be used. It messed me up inside for sure, making me sob ever so softly as I release my breasts and felt the river of pee run down my body right in front of your eager eyes, but the sight of you so hard and stroking yourself as you looked down on me, I couldn't help feeling like as bad as it was, it was worth it. I had that effect on you. It was me now. I fascinated you. I made you hard. It was me that was all you could think about, until you couldn't control yourself from stroking yourself.

It wasn't enough to stop my soft sobs as I looked up at you, feeling so soaked and pathetic as you stroked yourself over me, but it added a strange twist to each sob, like a little hitch of desire. You just peed on me, all over me, like I was nothing but a toilet to you, and I wanted you so badly. Love is crazy.
 
I can see you confused, excited and degraded, excited about being degraded, about doing this special thing for me, giving me this gift, your body to use as a urinal.

I know I have you now, that you will do this again even though we haven't spoken of it yet, I know I have succeeded in my plan.

"Oh Annie, you are so hot right now, why don't you clean up my cock with your mouth, lick the piss off it and let me cum in your mouth" I say so excitedly and forcefully, that animal man is back the one who just takes you, has returned and he wants you to finish him off orally.
 
I blink back at you, wondering where this came from. Part of me, maybe based on your politeness about going out and spoiling me, or not wanting me to feel I had to do this, that part of me half expected you to come to be with a damp towel to dry me off, and to help me out of my spot kneeling here in the warm puddle of your piss. But your words were intense, your desire crass and rude, and inside, deep inside where it is so hard to reach, I reacted. Strongly. I was still spluttering and blinking and could feel the tears on my cheeks and the piss on my legs and belly, but I felt your need and wanted you so badly.

The thought of your cock in my mouth stopped my breath, especially after your reminder that your piss was still on it, that I might taste it. But I was covered in your piss, smelling it and smelling of it, a pathetic wet mess and I was going to worry about one little drop on the tip of your cock, let it stop me from sucking your hard firm flesh like I ached to do, to seal this covenent between us with your cum in my mouth? I didn't say anything. I felt like the girl in the video, on the end of the leash, and like the other end was in your hand. I was yours.

I splashed a teeny bit of pee on the bottom of the bathtub, my bare wet knees squeaking against the porcelain as I tried to rise up on my knees, to bring my mouth to you, my eyes locked on yours, needing to see your eyes looking only at me, to know that I was the only piss-drenched girl on your mind, that it was all for me, every inch of you.

My lips opened and my hands went to your thighs for support, briefly wondering if you would find me too repulsive like this to let touch you, but I didn't worry long. You felt so thick and so strong and so male in my mouth, the very same cock that degraded me now the one I couldn't keep myself from pleasing. My shivering and trembling stopped as I focused just on pleasing you and on the need pulsing within me, the delicate tingling between my legs, the desire as hot as your piss on me.
 
I feel you respond to my request, you start to suck on me. It was time to make you connect everything in your head again, the way I wanted you to connect it.

"Oh Annie yes, this is so hot. mmm..I'm thinking about having you put the plug in the bath next time, drinking for the whole day hanging on as long as I can, having you bathe in my piss, oh god yes" I take your head, holding your hair which has some piss on it, showing you I will touch you, covered in piss and all.

I start to fuck your mouth, using you for my pleasure.

"Imgaine if I put a collar and leash around your neck, and led you here on your hands and knees, that would be so cool. Oh Annie, you are so awesome, I want you" I keep fucking your mouth, making you gag a little, I am like a man possessed.

I finally cum without much warning, in your mouth, "Open your mouth, let me see it Annie" as you do so, I spit in your mouth, without discussion, "Swallow baby"

I take a couple of minutes to recover then help you out of the bath, and lead you into the shower, I undress and bathe you slowly, sensually, we kiss and I fuck you again, standing up, lifting you up and propping you against the wall, I hit your most precious inner spots and you cum soon after.

I lick the shower water off you, so slowly, and then towel pat you dry.

"Oh I do think someone needs some spoiling now"

I say like a kid on christmas morning.
 
You fill my mouth so perfectly, the feel of you against my cheeks and tongue, sliding all the way back and filling me, strangely it comforts me. I suck on you, I lick you, all the while looking up into your eyes. The sound of you enjoying it, the feeling of you taking this pleasure in *me* drives me to distraction, until I feel my own hips moving a little as you start to move while holding me with a grip in my wet hair. your words flow through me, and somehow after what you just did to me, its like you broke something deep inside me, some filter or barrier just gone, and all the crude things you talk about - for next time - seem to fold into the pleasure I'm giving you and feeling myself, this time.

It's not that bathing in your piss is something I want to do, but with your cock in my mouth and covered with it already, still dripping from me, your words just sound irresistable. You start to grow more urgent in my mouth, making me gag a little, pushing me to that edge we know I can't tolerate, but it feels so perfect, so right to feel you needing me this much and not able to stop yourself. I'm moaning, wanting you too, encouraging you, wanting you to need me so bad you couldn't imagine ever pissing on another girl.

Little gags with each thrust, hearing your words between the growing urgency of your grunts, you talk about collars and leashes around my neck, and the image of myself crawling like that, not just climbing into the tub, but following you as you pull me along like you just have to have me, just need me so much, it makes me shiver and reminds me how I love you as much as that girl in the video, more I'm sure. I want to belong to you, and then you erupt in my mouth, no warning, no polite offer to pull out or concern that my choking on your thrusts and your cum is a problem. This is need. I feel myself so wet as you cum in my mouth, tasting you on my tongue and lips as you pull out of my mouth.

There is that familiar awkward moment, like I need a tissue or a place to take care of your cum, but you tell me to open my mouth, and it just feels so right to do what you want, you seem so sure of what you need from me. I'm looking up at you, your cum on my lips and tongue and you bend down like you want to see it, the proof of my love for you on my tongue and I shiver the thought is so sexy. But then you spit in my mouth, without warning. My eyes flutter in surprise, and I can feel your spit trickling on my tongue, mixing with the taste of your cum in there. I'm already a little flustered by it, a little more grossed out even when you tell me to swallow it like it is the most matter of fact thing in the world I could do for you.

I feel utterly degraded, like there isn't a shred of dignity left in me I haven't just ripped up and handed to you as proof of my love, and it makes me glow inside to realize it. I'm sure I look miserable and pathetic to you, my hair a wet mess, looking up with my mouth open like some begging puppy, filled with your cum and spit, and still you don't take your eyes from me. It makes me grimace to do it, enough that I'd never actually swallowed your seed before, but swallowing a load of your spit as well, but how bad could it be compared to what I've already managed to do for you? I feel strangely powerful, like I'm capable of doing almost anything, especially if it pleases you, to see that look in your eyes.

I'm still kneeling, like I can still taste your cum and spit even as it slides down into my belly, watching you catch your breath and realizing how powerful it was for you. It's like a little dose of joy for me, my hands still on your thighs as I wait for you to recover.

Somehow, the gallant Heath is suddenly back, offering a hand to help me up from down on my knees in the puddle of piss. You shower me, soaping me and washing me, making me feel so pampered, like I'm so precious, and my body is tingling and on fire for you. You press me against the wall, hard, and the kiss I need comes, with your hard jackhammer strokes coming right after, exactly what I need. It isn't gentle, or nice, but it is deep and hard and passionate, making me cry out with more emotion than I knew I had, until I'm spasming around your cock, helpless to hold you inside tightly or deep as I need, leaving me wrung out but aleady in the back of my mind thinking of more.

The way you lick my bare skin, now so clean, drying me with your mouth and tongue in such a sensual way has me breathing softly and smiling, my slenderness leaning against you, one hand lightly in your hair.

You talk of spoiling me, and I can't help giggling now, like a kid on christmas morning. It's just as hard for me to imagine how we can face the world, talk in the middle of the room knowing this secret we share now, but the warm glow inside and the heat of you beside me makes me confident that no matter what, as long as we're together in it, I won't care a bit. "Ok, Heath, you can spoil me." Is it possible for the first time in my life, I might actually believe I deserve it? I didn't think my smile could get any broader, but I was wrong.
 
And with that we spend the day out I take you to breakfast at a cute boutique style cafe, very fancy and you order bacon and eggs on a croissant which you find exceedingly decadent, the working class girl in the high life.

We go shopping and I buy you a new outfit a black evening gown complete with opera gloves and a black choker with a pendant on it. When we are all shopped out we stop for lunch and without even asking you I order for you a large lobster with butter sauce.

After lunch we put the bags in the boot of the car and I take you to the zoo, a cheesy typical date at the zoo. I buy you candy floss and we walk about looking at animals and then sit under a tree and make out a little.

I am happy and yet putting on an act, I know that I have to make you believe that the pissing thing is all it took to get me this way like a weight was lifted from me. I have to show you how rewarded you will be if you do this for me.

The email sound on my iphone goes off as we sit under the tree. I check the email and see it is an ad for the local strip club, they have a special guest today to talk to a woman named Laura Esbend a star in some pissing videos, I laugh as I read it and tell you about her, she is about 22, long red hair and slim, she has been in 6 pissing videos and she is in town.

I let it all sink in for you, I figure if you met another woman who has done it, it would help.
 
It's almost like a first date all over again, only more magical. Everything just feels right, and your smile has enough energy to drive the whole thing. You order for me, gentlemanly and yet a little old-school, but somehow I'm in a place where finding out what you would order for me, and how you watch me while we talk, it's all the same pleasure, a warm after-glow. The breakfast is so much, more than I'm used to, but I eat most of it before we're out and about again, me on your arm and just feeling beautiful, my hair dry and flowing now, letting it out of the pony tail even for you.

You shop for clothes with me and I'm almost speechless, worried you'll be bored while I fuss over color and fit and which outfit is going to shrink in the wash, but you take charge again, showing me exactly what you want. I try it on, the gown snug and smooth and a little shiny, elegant black, fitting me utterly perfectly as a quick turn in the changing room mirror shows me. And then long black opera gloves, soft and silky smooth? So old-fashioned they make me feel absurdly sexy because of it, my slender fingers so elegant and the way the black sets off the bit of pale skin of my slender upper arms and shoulders gives me a feminine sort of vulnerability that I find I actually like. The choker is beautiful, setting off my collar bones perfectly and making my neck look like a swan's. I feel like a movie star, a sexy movie star as I come out and you swoon over me. I don't want to look at anything else, I just want what you picked, and you buy it, really and truly spoiling me.

Lunch, and you order for me again and the day is just a speeding blur of you taking care of me almost every way a girl can be taken care of, depending on how you count what you did to me in the bathtub -- but that feels like part of it too, just truly intimate now as I look back on it. I take a forkful of the lobster and offer it to you, wanting to share everything, and that's how I feel too. The sense of degradation, feeling pathetic and miserable, it's still there, but that feels now like just the foundation of something bigger, something more important than my momentary feelings. That was me giving to you, just as you give to me.

I can't finish the lobster, and I have to work subtly to get you to eat most of it for me. If I'm going to wear that dress for you there's no way I'm going overboard, but I love the meal and the food is all delicious and I can't stop thanking you. We're both smiling and laughing and the world is perfect.

The zoo almost seems silly, but a great place to just be together. Animals doing what animals do, just as we do. Making out, a little hint of spice and danger flavoring every kiss now, knowing what we know.

Your phone goes off, but I don't complain. If it's work, so be it, I know you want to be here with me if you can. But it's not work. Something about a video star at a nearby strip club, a girl who starred in videos like what we saw -- I mean... like what we did.

I look at you, and suddenly I remember some of my questions before, and I realize that despite how happy I am, how I actually did some of that with you, and how you took me afterwards -- how I even... the way you spoke to me and spit in my mouth, how we were like one person with one will and it just happened to be yours --but still I realize I still have unanswered questions. And if we're really going to ever do this again, like you seem to want and I find myself more and more believing we will, then maybe she could answer some of them.

"Heath, do you think... is there any chance that she might,you know, talk to me, or to us I mean, about our questions?" I meant my questions of course, because it seemed like Heath already knew everything he needed to, but I just felt more comfortable talking about us than myself. Together. "Could we go see her?"
 
I look at you and smile, my inner bastard doing another jig. I know full well that this porn star will hardly tell you that it is degrading or anything else that is remotely negative. It seems a safe bet for me.

"One moment" I say and I call the club, making it look like your needs are paramount and I will organise it for you.

I speak to the strip club guy and he tells me that sure she is there and to come down she will be leaving in 2 hours.

"Well honey sure we can see her. I have to tell you how cool this is, I mean I am taking the love of my life, the one woman who really gets me, to go to a sex shop and meet a porn star. It is really cool baby. I love you"

With that we get up and drive over to the strip club.

The club is a fairly non descript building with a sign out the front "Wet n Wild", we walk in and there are a few men around looking at the naked strippers on stage. In the corner there is Laura, sitting quietly a man has just left having gotten her autograph.

"Lets go up and say Hi" I tell you, seeing you are once more out of your depth being in the club and all.

We approach and she greets us with a smile. I introduce ourselves and then add.

"This is my girl Anne, I pissed on her for the first time this morning, she would love to talk to you"

Laura motions for us to sit down with her and we start to chat, just small talk at first, about how she got into the films and all of that kind of thing.

Then Laura looks at you and asks "So what would you like to know Anne?"
 
I can't help being impressed, the way you have everything arranged on the phone almost the moment I ask, as if what's important to me is important to you to. Of course your explanation makes sense to. I've known enough guys to understand, and you are so clearly a guy too, but with you its different, its more than just gleefully getting your girlfriend to go to a sex shop or talk to a porn star. It's reaching out to me, making sure we can work through this strange new thing between us together.

As I take your hand helping me up from the "makeout grass" at the zoo, I brush my short cotton skirt off -- grateful it wasn't white and stained with grass now -- it is so easy to walk with you, arm in arm, feeling like we've somehow graduated as a couple. I can see us together, like we fit, like all the other happy couples strolling by, only maybe with our own little differences none of them would ever guess I'm sure, at least I hope.

The drive over is pleasant conversation, but soon enough there is the blank looking building, kind of rundown actually from the outside, but we aren't here for the architecture I guess, are we? I had only been in a strip club once, a tawdry neon thing were every girl had a weird name and more tattoos than teeth. This seems a little more understated, not that it's somehow classy, but it doesn't radiate tackiness. There are some strippers on the stage, but it's not especially crowded and the mood is subdued. Maybe it's too early? Seems likely.

I look around and can't help comparing myself to the bodies of the strippers, even though I know its stupid. You love me even though I don't have plastic boobs or hair extensions or the various shiny dangly piercings were they were really never intended to be. But the girls are all surprisingly limber and rhythmic, dancing in a way I never could. I always felt like such a dork on the dance floor. You seem to have a destination in mind, like you're all business, and I can't hide a little smile that you scarcely even notice the naked girls sprinkled around the room. I can't help noticing them, and I fold my arms over my chest a little defensively, but your arm around me keeps me smiling.

I follow you to the back where a pretty young woman is talking. She isn't naked, just dressed very attractively, and I can see you focusing on her so its clear she is the one. I step forward with you, ready to introduce myself, but you do all the talking. I smile and nod with a bashful little three finger wave as you give my name, but then brush my hair back nervously and look at the table the way you just announce to the world, like it is the only thing worth saying about me that you pissed on me. This morning.

The woman, Laura, doesn't seem fazed at all though. She motions for me to sit down, and I wish my cheeks weren't burning so red, making me feel like such a babe in the woods here. I give you the tiniest glare, but you are all smiles motioning me to sit down, reminding me to ask my questions, that this is a chance to understand. About the girl in the film. And me.

"Well, Laura, first of all, it was just the one time but...uh, yeah, so yeah, I'd... I had a few things, a few questions from seeing some videos? And just from, well, wanting to understand what I should do? How this fits in a relationship?"

I can't seem to help falling back into old nervous speech patterns. Suddenly my brain can't remember my questions and I'm just flustered and embarrassed to be here, the dorky girl who knows so little in a room full of glamorous strippers and porn stars who all know everything about men's desire and how to satisfy them, or so it feels to me at least. Laura just seemed friendly though and tried to reassure me, asking me a little more about myself so she could answer. "Well, yes, I did. Well, I didn't, not exactly, didn't exactly *enjoy* it, enjoy it, but it was... it was powerful." I look at you and lean into you. "I never would have expected it but somehow, it... I don't know, I just feel close to him. It means a lot to him, and I'm grateful to be a part of that I guess."

As she gets me talking, not really talking much herself yet, it kind of calms me down, and I find my center with my hand on your arm next to me on the table. "Anyway, I guess it was a much bigger question yesterday, but I just want to know, I saw this video, and for me it, it feels like something I give from love, it's not easy but feels like a gift that is valueable as a result, something only I can give him, because I love him." I look at you again. "But, when in the video, when there are more people and the leashes and everything, is that love? Where is the love for you in this? Or does that even matter to you? Do you 'enjoy' it, enjoy it? Or is it just business? I'm sorry, once I get started its hard to stop me sometimes." I blushed as I realized that could be true in several ways, but I just kept quiet, wanting to hear what she would say.
 
Laura sits back and listens to your concerns and questions.

She looks at you about the love part and answers you,

"Anne sometimes these acts are about fun, if you saw a woman being urinated on by more than one man then she was probably doing it because she liked the men and wanted to have fun with them. The women are usually in control in these films Anne, we don't do anything we don't want to do. But for you in a relationship with a man who obviously loves you, to give your body as a urinal for him, well of course that is quite powerful and loving, don't you think?"

She is interrupted by the man who runs the club, appearently there was a contest to go with her visit to the club, it was run on the internet. The winner would come in and get to piss on Laura while she kneels in a sea shell type container.

"Well nice to meet you Anne and Heath, I have to go be the prize now"

I explain to you what is about to happen, that Laura will be undressed by the winner and then allow herself to be pissed on by him.

The owner gets on the stage and starts announcing, the winner comes up a man in his 40's, Laura greets him and he then undresses her. She gets in the container and kneels down.

"Are you ok to watch this?" I ask and you nod, somewhat stunned at what you are about to see.

Watching this woman you just spoke to now naked and on stage and this man she has just met, about to piss on her.

He starts to piss on her, on her breasts at first, then her face, she opens her mouth so she can catch the piss. She then bathes herself in as the audience applaud.

I turn to you, "That was awesome don't you think Annie?" I am obviously excited and you have yet another new experience to process. The manager comes by just after leaves the stage.

"Laura has asked if she can speak to the two of you again, if that is ok" he says to us

I look at you and see you still want to talk to her, "Sure" I answer for the two of us.
 
I nod, just listening, trying to make sense of Laura's words, trying to figure out where these new pieces fit in the little gaps still around my heart. Fun. It sounds to trivial for what I felt with you. Would I have done it at all if I didn't love you? Would I have done it at all if it wasn't so important to you and I couldn't stand not being part of something so central to you? Would I have done it just for a lark, for fun? I still had trouble imagining that, of doing it for a laugh. I know I was being unfair, that she didn't mean it so lightly, but it was still hard for me.

Laura is a contest prize? I feel mixed feelings fighting it out inside me as she excuses herself and gets up so elegantly and coolly to go have a stranger piss on her in front of a room full of strangers, including me. A complete stranger, a man she doesn't even know, never even saw before, is going to make her kneel in that thing and then pee on her, but with none of the love or the need like when you peed on me. The concept shocks me deeply, and I can't help taking your hand and holding on to you for dear life, but trying not to appear too worked up. Then there's the way she says she's the prize. Such an intense reaction to that, my insides swirl enticingly around the idea, like my soft parts know better than I do how strongly the word appeals to me. A prize. Did I see myself that way? Could I? I wanted to be your prize, that was enough for now. But a prize for some stranger? I watch Laura climb up on the stage to the applause and assume her position like she was born for this. Was I born for this?

Then it starts, and its not just on her chest or her arm like with me, but all over her, especially on her face. Even in her mouth, and I turn away, finding it even harder to watch because I feel like I know her now. And then the hardest part of watching her strikes me as I face away briefly. For as much as it so reassured me to see you ignoring all the strippers in this room, I can't help noticing the rapt look on your face as Laura kneels in the man's stream to the crowd's boisterous applause. That look is supposed to be mine, and I swallow hard, forcing myself to look back and pay attention to what is attracting you so much.

My mind is still whirling and trying to make sense of what we just saw, and I'm like in a daze when the manager comes back and asks if Laura can come back and talk to us some more, and you have to answer for me, which after the restaurant ordering and the clothes shopping, I'm almost stating to get used to.

I sit quietly, nervous more now than before for her to come talk to us. Nervous because I just watched her get treated that way in front of everyone, in front of me! But mostly because it was in front of you, and I was trying so hard not to feel jealous.
 
I look at you and see you are jealous, I hold you and kiss you tenderly.

"Now, now, just because I liked seeing it, doesn't mean I want her, I want you baby." I reassure you.

Laura comes back after her shower, "Would you guys like to get some pizza and chat some more?" she asks,

Without waiting for an answer, she says lets go and we walk off to a pizza place and sit down and start chatting again.

"What did you think of the show Anne?" she asks you point blank.
 
You kiss me and reassure me, and in my head I know its all true, but its hard to convince my heart. I give you a petulant look, and then you kiss that away too.

I can't believe she would even suggest pizza right after that. I still remember how my stomach had churned at the first sight of the bacon and eggs at breakfast. But maybe she was used to it? Could someone find it just... natural, no big deal? It seemed impossible.

We are following along, and I'm assuming she knows the area better than we do, certainly better than I do. Then there is the awkward moment, her question direct, putting me on the spot. How can it not sound like judgement?

"I don't mean this in a bad way, please, forgive me if I sound critical. It's just that I... it's so hard for me to understand. I watched you. I'll admit, I kind of liked the idea of being a prize. Thinking my man would want me as the reward for a victory... that's... kind of hot. But... but a stranger? Some guy off the street? It made me so uncomfortable for you. I know you must be fine with it, must not bother you at all now huh? Its just like water to you? That's not how it is for me." I steal a glance at you, so relieved to see you watching me.

I decide to go with full honesty. "And, I guess, it's hard for me to sit with Heath, and see the way he looked at you. I know you do it so much better than me, I can't possibly measure up. It...it intimidates me. I know it's not rational. I know it. I know you love me Heath." I give you a quick kiss and a stroke on your cheek. "I just can't stand the thought that I'm not enough for you. But does all this crazy talk have anything to do with what you do, Laura? What's the connection between performing for crowds and cameras, and giving yourself to your man, just him? Again, I don't mean this in a bad way, you really were amazing up there, and except for making me so jealous and feeling a little bad for what you had to go through, I even got a little turned on watching you."
 
Laura looks at and listens with genuine concern.

"Anne, sometimes these things are fun and yet still about a type of love, not all love is romantic. The man who won me today, do you know he is married, his wife does not act as his urinal and so he has to satisfy his need with others. Heath is so lucky to have you a woman who will try and understand him the way you do. I like to give to people to make them happy, you do not have to give to everyone the way I do, you make Heath happy that is all you need to do, as long as it makes you happy as well of course. I am sure Heath thinks of you as a prize, I can see he loves you very much, he doesn't take his eyes off you."

and then her phone goes off.

"Oh great, my husband is flying in tonight, I will have to pick him up at the airport soon. Would you 2 consider having dinner with us tomorrow night? It would be so cool Anne, 2 piss mops together and their men having dinner! Please say yes I am enjoying your company so much! I insist, you 2 are coming over! Now tell me what turned you on about watching me earlier."
 
It's kind of strange, how Laura just sort of makes sense. I know I must sound ridiculous, but I hope you don't think I sound whiny. I nod, letting her advice settle in, smiling briefly at you when she mentions how you can't stop looking at me. Well, it is true that with the exception of when Laura was actually on stage getting soaked with piss I really haven't seen you looking at her. Oh no, oh geez, am I being this stupid?

Her phone goes off and I just lean into you, putting my arm around your waist and snuggling tight up against you, until she puts the phone away. We both turn back to her but I don't let go of you as she explains about her husband. "Husband? Wow, doesn't he..." Making a bigger fool of myself if I go on like this. The world's not as clingy and possessive as I am apparently, grow up girl! "He must be a really special guy." The thought of having dinner with the two of them scares me a little. Being around Laura just makes me feel nervous and out-classed, but at the same time it just has to be good for me, right? Slowly helps me try to see what we do as normal, to accept it more easily, if it could ever actually be easy for me.

I start to answer we'd love to, but I stop myself and glance up to you with a nod, not wanting to step on your toes but letting you know for sure it's fine with me if it's fine with you. Being called a piss mop -- strange term I hadn't expected, but I guess the image fits clear enough -- put me a little off balance, and it took a second for me to turn my head around and accept as a term of inclusion what sounded to my naive ears like an insult. Laura had that effect on me, like I had to grow up a little just to deal with every sentence she said to me.
 
Seeing your surprise at mentioning she is married Laura explains with a caring smile

"Yes, I'm married Annie, my husband met me when I was already doing the urinal films, he was a bit taken aback it was actually his thing at all, but we just clicked and he learnt to accept it because he loved me that much. I get off on it Anne, I had to talk him into trying it, because I wanted that connection with him, when Derek first pissed on me he was so nervous! It was kind of cute, he just pissed on my arm a little, but when he saw that I loved it, he relaxed a little. I don't have sex or suck cock in the films, I just get pissed on and there are some piss related acts that I save just for him. Anyway, I better go and pick him up now, I will see you 2 tomorrow!" and with that she gets up and leaves.

We drive home talking about being in a strip club, seeing naked women and a woman he had just met and spoken to get undressed and get pissed on by a stranger as a prize.

"You're my prize, I hope you know that baby" I say to you when we get home. I hold you tight and kiss you in a way that feels even more intimate and intense then before.
 
Talking with you on the drive back about the experience is like making it real, like it was only a strange dream until then. But we really saw it. My mind is still working on Laura's words, like she was talking straight to me. She lets strange men piss on her, but she and her husband are ok with that. She saves some things special just for him. Given what we just saw her let a stranger do to her, I can't help wondering what those other things are. "So, is that the first time you've ever seen it? Live I mean? In person?" I turn to watch you as you drive. "Other than me, of course." I giggle awkwardly at the seeming impossibility I was the first girl you ever saw get pissed on live, realizing it would be ok with me if I wasn't. I'm growing up.

As we walk in I smile and hug you tight, pleased more than you could possibly know to hear you call me your prize. I brush your lips with my own, my breath warm with emotion. "And you are my winner, so here's just a taste of your prize." I give you a deeper kiss, up on my toes so I can nibble your lip and touch your ear and stroke your jawline and kiss you like you really deserve to be kissed.

By the time, I'm more breathless than I meant to make you, and I look in your eyes. I want you. Want you deep and hard, the beautiful dress still in its fancy package at my feet, a dayful of memories fueling a lust burning inside of me. "So, can I get you something to drink? A glass of water perhaps? Or 3?" I know my face is red, but I can't help it. I can already feel you like you're pounding me already, feeling the memory of you taking me up against the shower wall and the couch, feeling you stroking in and out of my mouth, even swallowing your cum... and more, but its all part of it, part of wanting you, the package deal I signed up for. Wanting Heath.
 
The day has been so exciting and awesome that I forget about the manipulation about why I am really doing this as we get back home the familiar surroundings remind me again. I realise that today has been rather productive in bringing you closer to what you eventually have to be for me.

I laugh when you ask if you were my first live piss show, "You were actually my first time honey, pretty cool, we lost our piss virginity together." I hold you knowing you no doubt love the idea of losing some kind of virginity together no matter how weird.

"But yes Laura was also the first time seeing it as a show like that, live I mean, seen it on web of course heaps of times".

I enjoy it when you kiss me and I get all warm and mushy. "I hope you are with me forever Anne" and I mean what I say, I love her.

Then you do it, you get there, you ask if you can get me a glass of water or 3, this is too good to be true.

"Yes please honey. Bring me some water in a pitcher and a large glass. Let's see if I can really shower you in it this time, we'll put the plug in the bath and let it fill up, maybe I can just keep drinking and pissing. I'm so excited, to do this so freely, the first time was great but nerves and all, you know, but this time, I think we will make some real magic. Hey what say you go and change into those pink high heels and nothing else, bring me the water like that, lets make this some kind of incredible foreplay, afterward I'm going to fuck you until you pass out"

I'm excited and I want you to see it, I want you to know that the filthier you become the more passion you will see in me.

I sit on the couch and wait for you to put on pink heels and nothing else and start filling me with water.
 
Is it more special, knowing this day is really a first for both of us, even though you know so much more about it and what you wanted? Is it somehow more magical? Well, yes, at least to me. More than pretty cool to me, but I just tell you this with the same kiss I gave you when you just didn't appreciate how emotional the end of the movie was the week before. Just because you don't wear your emotions the same way I wear mine doesn't mean I can't love you. I like how you wear your emotions. Manly and stoic. It's good on you, but this day is magical between us, whether you get it or not.

You get my hint without missing a beat, like your mind was thinking the same thing almost. Yes, my face is definitely flushed, especially as you take my suggestion and start turning it into specific demands and requests. It's weird, but even the way you want me to put on those pink "barbie" heels I've always been so reluctant about, somehow it just feels like it works. It would mean a lot to you, and I can't wait to give you what you want, to see the look in your eyes coming back at me, the strength you take me with after. I scoot, practically running, back to where I keep a little bag of clothes in your room, feeling like I practically live here now, but realizing I'm going to go home after the weekend at least for some laundry and a mail check. It seems so strange to think of my little place, being here feeling so right.

I strip off my skirt and blouse and work the clasp of my bra. Panties are down in short order and the nice non-pink shoes kicked to the side of the bed. I squirrel under your dresser where I'd kicked them away the previous week after wearing them the minimum time possible. So girly, like they came in one of those princess box sets I used to want so badly until I actually got them. Only these were real, and a little higher in the heel and sluttier than Cinderella actually wore to the ball, but still. I feel so strange putting them on, looking at myself in the mirror, brushing out my long black hair and putting on a little lipstick and some makeup -- wanting to look my best, even if it was just giving you something to completely mess up. But the shoes, I just feel ridiculous, until I remember to see myself in them with your eyes. It isn't natural, but knowing you asked for them, it must be good.

I saunter out, naked but for the high pinks, and I do my best not to laugh like its silly, because its not. As I go to the kitchen under your watchful eye, I work slowly, letting you enjoy the movement of my hips, turning ways that aren't absolutely necessary and arching my back like I saw the strippers doing in the club. This is for you. This is serious. With every passing second as the water pitcher fills up, I feel my pulse quickening, realizing what I'm about to do with you again, how I'm helping you do it.

I carry the pitcher and glass to you where you sit. Part of me almost feels like kneeling to offer them to you, like it just goes with the whole act to lower myself -- have I seen any woman being pissed on who wasn't on her knees yet? -- but I restrain myself, not wanting to seem overly melodramatic, not wanting you to feel like I was putting on a fake show, wanting just to give you the best, purest, deepest part of myself.

Then I stood and watched you, suddenly finding it a little awkward, not knowing what to do with my hands. I clasp them in front of me but that feels dumb, and finally I step behind you and rub your back while I wait, loving the strength of your shoulder muscles under my slender fingers.
 
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