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What The Heart Wants [XxMoonlightRomancexX + wolvenrogue]

He washed her body gently, still not releasing her. "Your not leaving without me" he said softly. " I want tp hear what happened there, all of it, and I honestly dont care how hungry the animals get. I mean, I love animals, but i love you way more. I am not letting you go till we talk this out. I love you Roxanne. I let you go 5 years ago and regretted it, its not happening again. I love you too much for that."

He gently washed her body, and kissed her as he did. he knew that no matter what happened, the two of them would be tigether forever, no matter what she told him. It wasn't for him that he had asked, but rather for her.
 
As he gently washed her body Roxy looked up at him with a glare as he kept his arm around her. "I have my own fucking car, if I want to leave without you I will. I spent five years being controlled by a man and I'll be damned if I came back here to let it happen again." She hissed at him in her Tennessee accent, clearly the words were said out of anger and frustration because she knew Andy would never try to control her and as soon as she calmed down and was herself again, she would regret those words. "And honestly, I don't care how bad you want to know, you weren't there and I don't plan on telling you or anyone else what all happened there. Also, while we're at it, you didn't let me go five years ago I took the cowards way out, I packed my shit, threw it in my Chevy and left after writing you a note. I didn't give you or Momma and Daddy a choice in the matter." She said, saying things she didn't mean because she was pissed off and later she would regret it all when she eventually calmed down.

As he gently washed her body while kissing her she didn't kiss back, thinking he was simply trying to get information out of her. Once her body was washed and she pulled away and picked up the Shampoo, beginning to wash her own hair. As she worked the Shampoo throughout her thick hair she was unable to remember the last time they had an argument this bad.
 
When Roxy compared Andy to the men in California, It cut him deep. He let her go and got out of the shower still wet and soapy and walked back to the bedroom, wet and soapy, and curled up in a ball on the floor. Had he really been that bad? He didn't know what to do. he sat on the floor crosslegged, rocking and crying, hot tears streaming from his face.
 
Roxanne finished washing Shampoo and Conditioner from her hair before turning off the water and getting out. As she retrieved a towel and wrapped it around her nude body she could hear Andy sobbing and when she was covered by the towel she walked down the hall to his bedroom. "Andy.." She said softly from the door way, no longer using the angry and frustrated tone with him she had before. "Please don't cry. You wanted to talk so let's talk.. The animals can wait a bit longer." She added in a gentle tone before walking over to him and offering a hand to him. "C'mon, let me help you up and you can go finish up washing then we can sit down and talk." She finished, expecting him to begin yelling at her.
 
'I'm sorry" he said. " I didn't mean to keep you against your will. I'll never do it again." His body shook with tears as the hurt still tore at him. He had never meant to do anything but love her, but some how he had. He was overcome with the pain of the situation, and barely heard what she had said, and remained balled up on the floor.
 
As the hurt of her words tore through him and he more or less didn't react to him she got on her knees on the floor beside him. "Andrew, what are you talking about? You have nothing to be sorry for and you surely didn't keep me against my will. I was angry and didn't mean a word of what I said. I'm sorry I compared you to them because you are nothing like them. They are nothing but scared little boys who have to rape woman to get any sex, you are a sexy, strong man who could have any woman you want, but for some reason after all these years you still want me." She said before managing to kiss him on the cheek. "Baby, please look at me." She almost begged as she sat there in a towel.
 
He looked at he for several minutes hurt showing clearly in his eyes. How am I to know when you mean it and when you don't he asked, almost crying out the words. I want to believe that it is what you say now that is the truth. I really do. I've waited so long." Tears were still streaming from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks to the floor. "I need to know everything that happened. How else can we put it behind us. I can't go on with it hanging over our relationship anymore."
 
When Andy finally looked at her, more staring at her for several minutes she could see the hurt plain in his eyes. "I thought you might know me well enough to know I'd never say anything that mean to you and truly, Andy." Roxanne tried to explain, it used to be that Roxanne would never even think of saying something like that at all to him, no matter how upset or angry she was. "Andy, you say you want me to tell you everything but what good will it do if you don't know what words of mine to believe and which I'm just saying because I'm pissed off? I'll be the first to admit I developed a short temper while I was living out there but I'm sorry for what I said and I don't want this hanging over our relationship, either." Roxy added.
 
"I do trust you" he said, "and it was the fact that I believed everything you said that hurt me so bad just now. That's why knowing what happened is so important. How else can I understand when something like this happens?" He was beginning to calm down and he reached out to her and again took her in his arms.
 
Roxanne searched for an answer to his question but she could only find one rational answer. "You can't unless I tell you." She said reluctantly. As he began to calm down and reached out, pulling her into his arms again she kissed him. "Why don't you go get finished washing up and when you're done we'll talk and I'll tell you everything you wanna know." She suggested, even through the towel able to feel the soap on his body.
 
He got up and hugged her and went to the shower to rinse off and dry himself. He returned to find her sitting, still naked on the bed and pulled her with him under the covers, not wanting sex but only to cuddle. "Now start from the beginning" He held her close to him and looked in her eyes as he listened.
 
She watched Andy leave and when he returned she was still on the bed, the towel wrapped around her body. As he reached out and took her by the arm, pulling her under the covers with him she knew he didn't want sex, but for her to tell him everything and to cuddle with her as he did. She dropped the towel to the floor just before she was pulled into bed. "Depends what you consider the beginning, when I moved out to California?"
 
"Thats as good a place as any," he said. "Maybe you could start with what made you leave to begin with. Please don't worry. I wont judge anything you say. We really need to do this." He held her close to him and looked deep in her eyes. She couldn't help but know she had his full attention.
 
Despite Andy urging her for an answer as to what made her leave his assurance that he wouldn't judge anything he told her put her mind at ease. Roxy nodded, in full agreement that this needed to be done for them to have any kind of relationship together. As he held her body to his and looked down into her eyes she took a deep breath before speaking. "First of all I want you to know that it is nothing you or Momma and Daddy did or didn't do. You made me happy and this is why I constantly kicked myself for leaving while I was away but part of me just felt I needed the chance to discover who I was and to see if a life in Athens was truly what I wanted."
 
"So when you went to California, did you discover who you were, or end up losing who you were? Either can happen you know. It doesn't really matter what anyone but you think. Only your opinion counts. As much as anything I want to know if you think you are beeter or worse off for going and why."
He hugged her gently in a comforting way. Even thoughthey were both naked and it added to the warmth and intimacy, his hug was not a sexual one. He continued to look into her eyes, wanting her to know she had his complete attention.
 
"If you would have asked me that a week ago, days before I found out about the accident that Momma and Daddy were in, I would have said worse because it didn't hit me how it had changed me until I was back in Ohio. I'm not going to lie Andy, most of the things I went through while I was living out there were rough but I'd say I'm better because of those things because got I through them and it's made me stronger mentally. It did kill me being away from you and everyone else, though." She said, not resisting as he pulled her to him for a gently hug, knowing it wasn't the least bit sexual but rather to comfort her. When he eventally released her she looked up into his eyes, waiting for more questions.
 
""Well what did happen?" he asked her." You said that they were bad experiences what else happened besides the rape?" He knew it was an opene ended question, but he really wanted was for her to just share freely with him, what ever was on her mind.
 
"I lost a few really good friends I made out there, two in shootings over money they owed and one in a really bad car accident. And I was more or less homeless for about a year, I sometimes slept on friends couches for a night or two, in my car or in one of the homeless shelters that had a bed open. I'll tell you one thing, it's a lot rougher out there than most people think." She said as she looked up at him, looking into his eyes. "You and everyone else may wonder why I changed so much in some respects, well everything I'm telling you happened within the last few years, it was literally one thing right after another." She said before forcefully pulling away from him, not because she was scared of him or anything but the last thing she wanted right now was to be held and told everything would be alright or that he was here to protect her now.

Roxanne stood from the bed and gathered clothes to get dressed. She then began to dress herself, expecting him to grab her before pulling her back into bed with him. "I'm through talking about it, now you know everything that happened but I don't want to be told everything will be alright." She said to him after putting her thong on and sliding her bra on as she worked on fastening the clasps in the back. "I just want to go take care of my dogs and horses and forget about all the bullshit I've been through for a little bit." She added as she got her bra fastened and slipped her shirt on. She then sat on the edge of the bed so that her back was to him and began to put her jeans on. "If you want to get dressed and come you can, if not it will just take me a lot longer to get the chores done." She said with a shrug before zipping and buttoning her jeans. Truly, she couldn't even let go of everything when she was with Andy, the only time she could was when she in taking care of her animals.
 
Andy was quiet and just listened. Then at her invitation just got up and got dressed. He followed her to her car and got in the passenger side letting her drive. "I just have one question. Why would you think that I would be arrogant enough to think that I could solve all your probems by just saying I'd protect you? Do you really think I'm as simple and ignorant as all that? or that nothing ever goes wrong in Athen's Ohio? You haven't been here for 5 years while people lost their homes and farms, or had to take care of parents or children who thought they would have enough money but lost everything. To deal with finding food for horses and cattle in a 3 year drought. True, no one was murded that I know about, and I don't have any tattoos, But I have plenty of scars, and lots of them don't show. So yeah, I'll help you with the chores. No problem. Just don't think you have any patent on hardship. Ours were just a little different here. " Andy had tried for the last few days to get Roxy to open up and share, and she had, but when she took that attitude with him, he was taken aback.
 
As Roxy started the car she listened to him while her eyes stayed looking ahead, out the front window. "No, I don't think you're that arrogant or ignorant nor am I trying to claim I have any kind of patent on hardship or that my problems are worse than anyone around here. I know for a fact plenty goes wrong in Athens, sure, none of it may be shootings but it's just as rough and as far as scars go I have plenty of them, too." She said as she pulled out of the driveway and started off to her parents property, saying nothing unless she was spoken to. The last thing she wanted to do was make things worse.

About ten minutes later she pulled into the drive way of her parent's property and shut off the car. "Well... I guess we better get to work." She said before going to open the door to her Mustang, part of her hoped Andy would take her hand and stop her from leaving and suggest they work together with the horses and dogs today, it would do the both of them good, learning how to work together again and she could be taught how to do more than feed and water the horses.
 
As she opened her door and got out, so did Andy. "Just a minute" he said "before we work I have something to say. We were pretty hard on each other just now, and we didn't need to be. We both have plenty of grief to deal with without adding to it. want you to remember, that none of what went on either in California or Athens really matters to me. All that really counts is that you are back and I am with you. lets go get the chores done together. Ok?" He followed her to where the dogs wer kept, and they worked hand in hand the next three hours until the chores were done.
 
As Roxanne got out she stuck her keys in her pocket as she began to walk up to the kennels where the dogs were kept. When Andy spoke up as he closed the passenger door behind him she stopped and turned to face him, looking into his eyes. As he spoke and stood there and listened and by the end she knew he was right. She walked over to him and kissed him before taking his hand and leading him up to the dog kennels where she let the adults out into the yard and began to clean the kennels with Andy. Once that was done she let the pups out and they worked on cleaning their kennels. That took about an hour and it took another hour to bathe them.

Then she let Andy lead her to the stables and worked with him to clean, feed and water all the horses; learning the basics with help from Andy. When they were all done she kissed Andy. "I'd say we still make a pretty damn good team." She said with a smile before looking out at the horses. "Hey babe, how would you feel about taking a few of the dogs out to your place?" She asked, really missing having dogs of her own.
 
"I suppose we can, but lets wait till we have the truck. You don't want to mess up the 'stang" do you? " he asked with a smile. He hugged her and the both got in and road back to his farm.
 
She shrugged. "The worse those pups could do was have an accident and it wouldn't be that hard to clean up." She said as they walked back to her car. As he hugged her she hugged back before getting into the car and starting it up and pulling out of the drive way. As she started down the road she reached over and turned the radio down so the rock music playing wasn't that loud. "Y'know, you really should teach me how to ride one of these days like you promised." She joked.
 
"I'll teach you to ride " he said, "but first we have a funeral to get past, and some decisions to be made." Ok? Like which house were going to live in, and how many kids to have." he said laughing.
 
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