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Internet Bullying

miles

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 14, 2012
What is your opinion about internet bullying? Is it something you have ever done? How about trolling? Is it more acceptable if you call it trolling?

I recently read a friend of mine's status on FB where she was deliberately going after someone just for fun(at one point, she said she was trying to convince the other girl that the girl was a robot, lol X3 ). Is there a difference between online bullying and rl bullying? I think that they are very different things and when people get all in a lather and upset about internet bullying I just kind of roll my eyes. It's one thing to be hounded at your school or in your neighborhood by someone who means you physical and emotional harm. It's something you have to deal with. But whining about sitting down at your computer and getting hounded through the screen.. um... just walk away, maybe? That might work.
 

PatricioINTP

Supporter
Supporter
Joined
Aug 5, 2010
RE: Internet Bullying/Trolling

While online bullying is not physical, it is still bullying. Private bullying one can just block it but if its on a public forum, it can get nasty. If others joining in with the bully or counter-bullying against him or her, and if one of them knows the other... eww.

Now it is possible one was just kidding or being humorous and the other doesn't realize it since they are just reading cold, hard test. Similar to how one might not realize one is being ironic or sarcastic.

Trolling is a bit different. Bullying wants to hurt the other. Trolls just want to make a different opinion in hostile territory to wanting everyone to just get mad. There are bad trolls and ingenious trolls trying to make a point. For example, take Person X who is often displayed negatively in the media. Someone posts various 'facts' about Person X on a forum and everyone goes ballistic over how bad of a person he really is. Then the OP comes out to say all those 'facts' were not true and blame everyone of just blindly believing what the MSM is feeding them.

I had an example of such ingenious but having trouble finding it. For another troll that was just being an arse who basically done the same thing: http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/q39vn/this_motherfucker/ And note these are atheists getting mad at a fellow atheist trolling another subreddit.
 

miles

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 14, 2012
RE: Internet Bullying/Trolling

Ok this isn't really about that sort of trolling and more about the flaming/bullying type of interaction. I'm not talking about someone going to a forum trying to make an ass out of everybody or themselves or whatever. I am talking about people hounding and targeting someone, with malicious intent. I have edited the title to reflect this.

See, I don't understand why it even counts as bullying. Why would you sit there and take abuse? That's like me going to a gathering of people like a sports rally or a concert or a bar where there are people who upset me and make me feel bad or angry and not only refusing to leave but continuing to go there every night. It's like without the threat of physical harm, it suddenly removes a person's ability to leave a bad situation.
 

Hahvoc The Decepticon

Singularity
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Most cases of internet bullying are young teenagers. Not all of them think, "Oh well this is stupid," and walk away because they know these people at school. Or they live near them. I have a big feeling a lot of it has to do with pride and the constant hounding to try and fix it, but they don't realize that by feeding into it, they tend to make the situation worse for themselves. And from there it just spirals.

Trolling is very different. I've done it for kicks and told the person in question that I was just really kidding. Some people take it to heart because they think, "Well, hey, I'm a person and people should respect that I have feelings!" But this is the interwebs. Most people don't even see another being as human because hey, it's the internet and shouldn't take it so seriously.
 

Ms_Muffintops

Supernova
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Location
Drury Lane
Bullying to me is personal, trolling is usually anonymous. I think taunting and going after someone in a negative way (be it to laugh at their stupidity, hurt them, etc) is utterly immature and just as destructive as any other form of bullying, be it in real life or online. A lot of bullies don't realize that even if you're not directly insulting them or physically hurt them, that you can still do damage.

I was picked on a lot throughout Elementary school and middle school, and a lot of it wasn't even direct, it was just bullies thinking they were being smart. Example, I knew a girl in middle school named Jade. She'd pick on me all the time:

Jade: Hey Katie
Me: What?
Jade: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No...
Jade: Why not?
Me: Because I don't. (I knew where she was going)
Jade: Have you ever had a boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
Jade: (she then turned to her friend snickering, saying that she bet I was lying)
Jade: Well its no wonder you've never had a boyfriend, you're so fat, she don't even have a neck to kiss.

A lot of the bullying I've received has been like this. No ones ever physically hurt me, or called me names. But they have done stuff like this, and it can still be just as hurtful as being directly insulted or pushed.

I think trolling can be just as immature. Some I don't mind, but some people can really push it. Either way, if you are emotionally damaged by something a troll has said or done, then you don't need to be on the internet.
 

Hahvoc The Decepticon

Singularity
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Yay bullying in elementary and middle school. Trust me, I know exactly what you went through since I wasn't picked on by just one or two people - but every bully in my grade at least until I changed to a different high school. Thankfully, I didn't have facebook and I wasn't stupid enough to think that any of these people were good enough to have my IMs.
 

miles

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 14, 2012
There is a big difference between real-life bullying and bullying online. One requires a certain complacency from the victim in order to continue.
 

Supergirl

Super-Earth
Joined
Oct 11, 2012
I think bullying is the same whether over internet or in person because it still impacts you one way or another and yes you can walk away from it but you also can still see the comments and what they say or what you read can be stuck in your head so it still effects you.
I think bullying of any kind has an impact no matter where it is and that either way it's wrong. I also think people like bullying over the internet because they can easily say whatever they want without any precautions or anyone to stop them unless they are reported. Over the internet it's easier to feel in control than you would feel in person.
 

Ruphhausin

Supernova
Joined
Jul 2, 2009
I love how people think any kind of bullying is alright and excusable, especially when it leads to someone taking their own life.

Bullying is bullying, plain and simple. Whether you do it with a weapon, with your fists, with words in someone's face or behind their back, with internet action, with using your interpretations of certain rules to intimidate... It is bullying. Also, if you do any of the above, no matter what your fucking motive... you are a bully.
 

Crescent

Planetoid
Joined
Mar 26, 2013
**Edit: Oh wow, I did not realize the original discussion stopped over a year ago. Oh well.....I stand by my rambling! **

Online bullying is absolutely a real thing. I would say it is just as bad as direct contact bullying. Whether in person or not, the effect of bullying is not physical, but psychological. A bully is damaging their victim's sense of self, and diminishing them to a lower standing than the bully. It makes you feel weak, unwanted, unimportant, and can cause a whole slew of other social and psychological issues.

You're citing the ability to walk away as a key differentiator, but the same holds true for in person contact. You can't expect everyone to have the same level of connection to a social setting as you do. While to you, shutting off facebook, or even cancelling your account may seem like a trivial matter, to another it that is a personal space of theirs in which they fulfill some of the social aspects of their life. A bully taking away one's ability to be in an online space they are normally comfortable with, can have just the same effect as bullying in a school hallway. Even if the person does simply walk away, the bullying takes it's toll and causes those types of psychological issues.

As a society and a people, we are putting more and more of ourselves into online spaces. Consider how affecting it is on you the next time BMR goes down, or your internet cuts out. In the short term maybe it isn't, but when you have no clue when it will come up again, or if you'll be able to go back to it freely, then you should understand.
 

Dr. Nibbles

Supernova
Joined
Oct 20, 2011
Location
Your Pants
Vic Rattlehead said:
Block/ignore and delete that is all.
Short and sweet yes. That honestly is the only excuse for stopping Cyber Bullying. Yes it is shitty. Yes the bully is winning. But what the fuck are you supposed to do? Its not like you can attack the person through the internet. It's the old, "turn the other cheek" method, be the better person and just don't associate yourself with that person. Its all to easy to block people on social sites so there really is no excuse.

And as for Trolling, the difference between trolling and bullying is trolls do it with (usually) no intent to cause pain, only anger. Bullying it an attempt to humiliate and belittle. Trolls gain nothing but lulz, bully's gain satisfaction of being "Better".

As for the whole suicide thing... really I don't feel bad for anyone who does it because A) I've been there and I know that if you want tot kill yourself you're not just sad, theres mental problems going on which should have been treated earlier B) its the cowards way out... plain and simple C) 1 death is a tragedy a thousand is a statistic, a sad fact but you know it, I know it, we all know it. Yes it sucks but people die.


The thing that really sucks is people like the Amanda Todd thing. Everyone was soooo butthurt when she died... but no one did shit to stop it when it was happening. They just avoided the situation. They didn't confront the bully. They just avoided it. Thats their own fault no one else's.


NOW hold up real quick... Im not defending cyber bullies... they're assholes who deserve hot pokers in their anuses... but that doesn't mean I feel bad for the victim either. Not when there are a thousand solutions OTHER than going Columbine or suicidal.
 

Ms_Muffintops

Supernova
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Location
Drury Lane
We should also remember that something posted on the internet may never go away. So blocking someone may not get rid of it. Just weeks ago my friend shared a picture on her Facebook from some teenage girls Facebook page. It was the picture of the girl posing in a mirror in a denim bikini and it said something cheesy like "If you ain't street you ain't shit. Swim party." or something like that. But my friend and a bunch of her friends started commenting on it calling her a skank, dumb bitch, and a bunch of other stuff. Why? Because she's a high schooler posing in a bikini and said something stupid (that's one in a million?). I came in and defended her, and then they said "She's too young to be dressing and acting like this." Even though my one friend would dress up in a corset, short skirt and fishnets at that same age. This girl was going to a pool party. What else is she supposed to wear? She was properly covered, nothing was hanging out, heck, she was wearing shorts. Either way, how's calling her a skank going to help her?

A few weeks ago as well my friends cousin had some page on Facebook steal her profile picture and use it for a meme. It was a picture of her in her army uniform, and they put "They said I could be anything, so I became a man." joking her masculine features for a woman. The comments on the photo were rude and insulting, of course directed at her looks. She asked them to take it down, they said no. Then a bunch of friends came to the page and asked them to remove the image, still they said no. She reported it to Facebook telling them she could prove she's the original owner of the photo and that she doesn't want the photo up there and Facebook told her they weren't going to remove it because it doesn't count as bullying or harassment. That situation was so many levels of wrong.
 

Your Eternal Reward

Super-Earth
Joined
May 28, 2013
It's really funny how anything will go for bullying so long as it makes one dumb motherfucker feel sensitive.

There used to be a bunch of kids who would make it their goal in life to beat me up, and of course, completely lacking in
upper body strength, I responded by laughing at them in their faces and constantly reminding them that they would go
nowhere in life. Eventually my parents found out about the bruises and my dad went to the school. Their defense? I was
performing "intellectual bullying" so their actions were purely retaliatory. So I promptly reminded their parents that they
had no idea how to raise kids if the shits were so insecure about themselves that they had to take it out on me, and then
had the gall to call me the villain. Long story short, I left the school.

On the plus side, I now have an absurdly high tolerance for pain.

Long story short, getting riled up about internet bullying is dumb. Trolling is hilarious. Get over it.
 

KuraTenshi

Planetoid
Joined
Mar 27, 2011
Just gonna be that person who brings up a long old thread. Why? Because this topic really fucking bothers me.

First of all, cyber bullying is bullying. I was bullied from elementary school up through high school and if that wasn't enough, I was also cyberbullied. It can still destroy people. It's like any gossip or rumor. It still fucking hurts. It brings you down. I've had aggressive bullies and passive aggressive bullies. Some bullies were physical, some of them were emotional. In all honesty, I think the ones who spoke hit harder than the ones who actually hit me. Being hit, okay, I can move on from, being called degraded by things such as, "You're a loser, you're fat, you'll never get anywhere in life." leaves more of an impact.

So you may be asking, oh well they aren't physically hurting you, why can't you forget about those people. Easier said then done. If you ever take notice, society enjoys pointing out the flaws or the 'bad things' in itself. Look at the media, a lot more things are depressive such as rape, murder, etc. So really, it's not that /easy/ to move away from all the negativity in our lives. Especially if you're alone when these things happen. Why? Because you then THINK about it even more. You might become more self conscious and feed your brain, "Wow, am I really a loser? Am I really that fat?" and since someone said it, now it's in your head.

When it comes to online bullying it can be just as destructive. I remember I wore a costume to school since it was for a cultural holiday. Someone had taken a picture of me and spread it on tumblr, twitter, and facebook. I found out and was shown the comments. They were nasty like, "what is she doing? She looks like a turkey. Wow only those kinds of people at our school" and so forth. Did I do the equivalent of block/delete, yes. I closed the tab. That doesn't mean I can erase what those people said. I can't unsee those words. This I would consider more passive or indirect bullying. It wasn't said to my face, but it was about me.

Now direct bullying? Someone I knew attacked me on such a personal level in front of others. She said horrible things. Why didn't I just up and leave? Because I wanted to try and work things out and talk to the person. That didn't work as I was being bombarded and put down further. No one stepped in to stop her. They just watched and waited. Maybe it would have been easier to walk away. But I can tell you that those chat logs still exist on my Skype? It's not hard to toss out something that hateful. As much as I want to I can't. It still hurts.

Even in games I play like League of Legends I occasionally get bullied. The, "Go shoot yourself" or /constant/ putdowns of "you suck, your bad" really adds up. Again, there is an ignore button, so why don't I press it? It's because I feel /obligated/ to defend myself. I was always taught to stand up to your fears, stand up to your bullies. I did, so where did that get me? Bullied even more. I keep trying, /hoping/ that I could be the one to make the bully stop but nope. Even if I did ignore them, they would still be saying the same things and my team would see it. It's just as bad knowing is shit talking behind your back.

Furthermore, blocking/ignoring them isn't fully solving the problem. Why? They're still going to say things, still bully you even if it's not directly. Bullying needs to stop, and if it's not stopped by its core (the person) then they will continue to bully through any means they can. It's not right and I know I'm bitching about people being bullies but when someone you /care/ for dies because they have been emotionally, mentally, and physically bullied to the point where they fell apart because no one helped them? Yeah, there is a fucking problem.

There was a girl who was bullied and committed suicide. That bully said "I don't give a fuck that she died." and that information about the bully was released. I do and do not agree with what happened. That bully would have been harassed and bullied for the crime and insensitivity for what she said and did. Maybe, just MAYBE she'll learn her lesson and now know what it's like to be bullied. At the same time, she was younger and younger children shouldn't /always/ be treated like adults. Even though..you know, bullied to the point of suicide. But still.

On the note of trolling. I hate trolls. Why? Mostly because they are hateful and are assholes? Why do I say this? Because trolls with say things like, "Oh I fucked your mom" or something to that regard. Well, I don't have problems discussing my family, but let me be that person to say, no, I never knew my real mom. I am adopted. I don't know why she didn't want me, but she put me up for adoption. Sadly, for my friend when the same incident occurred with her her reply was, "My mom died of cancer when I was 7." that troll proceeded to say, "That's okay, I'm a necrophiliac." it was completely uncalled for and insensitive. I don't care if that's trolling or funny, you don't simply dismiss something like that.

Trolls I think don't want anger, but any /emotional/ response. I've known trolls that trolled about rape and suicide (two of my triggers; when I say trigger I mean, you don't fucking joke about that shit, trigger, not the hysteric crying). As I said, I believe it is insensitive and ignorant. I doubt any trolls have actually been through the matter they are trolling, but if they could even see what it would be like for that other person, maybe they wouldn't troll about such things.
 

LadyYunaFFX2

Pulsar
Joined
Nov 1, 2012
Location
Boone, NC
On a brief sidenote, it's intriguing to see chats from a while back get abruptly revived.

Onto the topic, pretty much everything that KuraTenshi mentioned, I wholeheartedly agree with. Cyber bullying truly is bullying when all is said and done. And in my honest opinion, it's often worse than any amount of physical abuse face-to-face bullying can possibly result in. I was bullied, cyber or not, for most of my life. And the times it stung the most were when everything was done behind my back rather than being confronted and told the insults to my face. They weren't just cruel, they were fucking cowards. And that's exactly what cyber bullying allows; for people to hide, stay anonymous, but still get their satisfaction with knowing they're hurting someone.

Why people even resort to it or trolling is beyond me. It's stupid, it's immature, it's incredibly pathetic. And yet, they do it anyway.

And unfortunately, I'm also like KuraTenshi in the sense that I also tend to get defensive, especially when people try to spread false lies about me. Why? Not just out of obligation. People tend to believe the stupidest shit, even if it isn't true. So sure, I'm not actually a slut for example. But you know how many people will reply to me with things like, "Wanna spread your legs for me?" or something equally as painful. Enough to make me speak up.

I never (somehow) replied with a punch or slap to any of my bullies. It would have been justified, no doubt. But I never found it in me to go quite that far. I'm guessing some sort of subconscious decision linked to/with karma and the hopes that the bullies would get their share one of these days.

I've never personally known anyone who got bullied [cyber or otherwise] so bad that they took their own life. But I have heard of it happening in the news and such. And you know what? Some of those stories are the saddest. Why? Because sometimes the cyber bullying is so bad, it's making even people in their preteen years react and take/try to take their life.

And as someone who has been so depressed they've tried suicide before but realized it was the wrong way to go ... it just pains me to see all this world has come to.

As far as trolling goes? That's about as stupid as the cyber bullying and typically as immature. I don't get the fascination with it and all and, for the most part, can ignore it. But also like KuraTenshi, I have certain triggers that you never joke about. Rape and suicide are definitely two of mine as well along with some others.
 

winx

Supernova
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
It all depends on how you take things if they are hurtful to someone then that's classed as bullying.
 
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