help with reasons

[thebladeofchaos]

I've been doing a story that I intend to get published one day and was going over the plot in my head when I realised something. a lot of what I was doing was cliched.

now, I know that some Cliche is normal. the evil empire, the damsel in distress, the hero riding to her rescue and so on, but the motivations for my villains was...bleh.

so, I am wondering if anyone can help me out. again, as this is serious, I'm really going to be paying attention to this.

first things first, the hero. I went with the Mercenary who helps because he feels he owes the nation the princess belongs to, against orders from his higher ups. His Motivation was money to begin with but would then shift to vengence. his past involves his whole city getting culled in one night, leaving him as the only survivor, but he wants to believe his brother is still alive. he helps the Princess in the first place as 'he felt it was right'. anyone got any better ideas?

second, the villians. a section of the Empire's forces responsible for the gravest attrocities. they were behind the hero's home getting destroyed with the reason being either 'a prophecy that one from there would destroy the world', 'an artifact they needed to continue the campaign was in their possesion, and they wouldn't give it up' or 'we feared what your kind could do to our armies'. anyone know any better reasons?

third, there is an ancient sword that could turn the tide of the war, but it is cursed. I was thinking the blade drinks the blood that lands on it and gives off a dark aura. I was going to have it so that the empire was attack the country to try and find the blade, then uses the country as a bargaining chip to get the hero to give up.

and lastly, the boss. the mercenaries are led by a legendary war hero, who has always put right above money. he leads the elite of the mercenary world and has chosen to stay out the war as 'it isn't their concern, countries come and go all the time'. any better ideas?

thank you in advance.

 

[Nihilistic_Impact]

First, drop the destroyed village.

Second, don't think of them as atrocities; but as shows of force so that more people did not need to die in senseless warfare.

Third, instead of giving the sword actual abilities just have a host of legends associated with it.

Fourth, mercenaries can't eat righteousness. No way an individual like that would be a mercenary, nor would anyone follow him. Now if he was the leader of some religious order, that would be a bit of a different story.

 

[thebladeofchaos]

first: ok, I can understand that, but I would kinda like something major that gives him a reason to go after the Villains that lies with his past, not just with wanting the country free.

second: that actually makes more sense.

third: I can see what you mean, as I suppose it's what it could do as opposed to what it can do that draws people in.

fourth: true, very true. under that, I think it could be a militant religious order thing.

erm, if I mention some more of the world would that help?

it's a high fantasy world, with magic being very commonplace (I was thinking like Skyrim or indeed Zelda-esque type thing). in my eyes, that kinda give the cursed sword a reason to be actually cursed as opposed to just being a legend that it is.

 

[Nihilistic_Impact]

Three things you need to define, your system of magic, religion and technology.

Knowing those three things will help to define the culture and mindsets of any character.

Also, you can always create some other source of conflict between the hero and villain. It's just the murdered village routine is more then cliche, unless you want to turn it on its head where he was the one that killed everyone under orders.

 

[Mr Master]

Here's a point of realistic complexity: Nobody ever thinks they're the evil ones. Everything they do, they do because it's for the greater good. Example you might already be aware of: the Operative in the movie Serenity.

Your "evil empire" is only evil from the perspective of the oppressed. There's got to be some people who think it's doing all right, and a greater populace who may not agree entirely but go with the flow so as not to become the oppressed. That's a truism for any government you'd care to name; the percentages and who's considered to be in control are the only things that differ.

Put that into the mix, that the government thinks they're the good guys, and the "heroes" of your story are the evil terrorists, and you might get some reasonable complexity.

 

[Mystiq]

I concur with Mr Master's suggestion. That offers an interesting nuance to your story and minimize the cliche in your story. You can start the story kind of cliche, and then twist the plot by introducing the "other side of the story." That can lend itself to your protagonist's internal conflict, which is always more interesting than external conflicts.

 

[Ben Jackson]

what i always find interesting is when the character is weaker than everyone else at first, he has a disability like he can't use magic, it always make it more interesting when the protagonist has a significant weakness.