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Old Ways in a New World. ( Wolvenrogue and Nightsorceress)

Aurora had to keep closing her eyes and refocusing her mind to keep from crying as she watched the boys play and then suddenly Robert was at her side again. She looked at him a moment, "I don't know if you will ever understand Robert, I have almost given up that our children will only be who you want them to be, and that is alphas, and it deeply troubles me when you say that you will be sad if they choose anything else, you would accept it but you wouldn't be happy for them, and that is what I strongly dislike about being what I am, being what we are. You have stressed to me time and time again how important it is for you to teach them about your heritage, but what about mine, yes it is not biologically ingrained in me, but I still have some life lessons that I think it is important they know, will unfortunately contradict what you what to teach them about their heritage. But I am not allowed to do that in your eyes."
 
"Life lessons? If they are important enough to teach them, then I need to know as well. Don't you think they will be more effectively taught if we both teach them? Look at me. Am I the same man that ran up to your house the day we met? Do you think I wouldn't change? Won't you trust me with these "life lessons"? Won't you share them with me? How am I to know their value if you dont?"
 
"so what I am to run everything by you before I tell them, or show them anything and what happens when you disagree?" she asked not even really looking at him just watching the children play.
 
"No you don't seem to understand. I wanted you to help me understand the good that you will teach them so I can learn it too. I have tried to explain the good in their heritage to you. Can't you do the same for me?"
 
"I am just so afraid that if you disagree we will get into another fight, I am so tired of fighting with you about how to raise children, I just feel like you have worn me down and broken me, that all I am good for your eyes is to breed and to cook and clean." she said all this softly the sadness and the defeat clear in her voice, she knew her words might upset him but they had to be said once and fall all. "if I share anything with you can't be beat me down any longer and maybe in time those feelings I do have will go away and I feel like I am can do more that just pop out babies and clean and feed them."
 
He listened quietly to her words and didn't speak. He sat there trying to understand what they meant to him and their future, and the future of their children. He was riddled with hurt and emptiness. His interest in the children had all been interpreted as control over her, his honest interest in what she would teach them had been seen as suspicion and contempt for her. His attempts to comunicate with her as a verbal beat down. He was afraid to speak to her. Nothing he said was understood as it had been meant. He swallowed hard and spoke softly measuring his words.

"I have struggled since I first met you to reach your heart. To get to a point where I felt that we were open to one another, to reach a point where when I said something you truly understood me. I don't think we ever got there." His words were sad, and spoken softly. "I know you will never accept my heritage as good. That is painful to me but it is reality. Though now it also seems that you cannot accept me as a man and that you cannot trust me even with your thoughts, much less the childen." Tears ran down his cheeks as he spoke. "You want to be accepted as you are, but won't accept me as I am, and you are afraid to even help me to understand you when I try. I don't know what to do any more. Raise the children as you see fit. Teach them what you will. Please don't ask me to help with it because that which I teach them just angers you."
 
"it's not that I don't agree or see it fit to teach its just sometimes I don't agree with what you want to teach them at the age they are. I want my children to have a childhood, but every time I voice my concern you beat me down and tell me that was they way you were taught, but you have yet to learn they are not you and these are the same times as you grew up. I want them to be just wolves I want them to be more. And if I was so unwilling to be a part of any of this I would not be here right now, I would not be growing very fond of Elizabeth and the others." she looked down now tears falling from her own eyes, it hurt her when he said she still was not wanting to be a part of his heritage because she was trying, maybe she was not good enough in his eyes
 
"How can I teach them what I don't know myself? I know that i am old fashioned , traditional , and steeped in my heritage. Were it not for you I would know nothing else. When I asked you to teach me the good that you know and would teach them, it is not because I wish to beat you down or criticize it. It is purely because I know nothing of it. If you close your heart to me and can't trust me to accept it, then I can only remain as I am, and you will never be happy with what I teach them." His voice was pleading , not demanding, tears flowing freely, his attitude one of deep dispair. "I love you and Ashe and now Lukka as well. I would die for you. I love you enough to let you go." His voice cracked and he choked on the words. "My heart is tearing within me at the thought of not being with you every day, and my body will suffer, but I can't bear hurting you any more. I can only give you and the boys what I have, and that only brings you pain" He walked out on the porch and sat on the steps. His head hung in deep sorrow. His shoulders shook with grief, and his tears wet the steps between his feet.
 
Aurora just shook her head, he still was not understanding her at this point she doubt he ever would she was so run down from fighting all the time she did not know what else to say or do to make things betweent the two of them, as he moved away from her again she said nothing. Figuring what ever she said would not help her be understood by him.
 
Robert was exhausted, but didn't know what else to do. When he could cry no more, he got up quietly and went to their room. He gathered his clothing and packed it in a canvas duffle. he slung the duffle on his shoulders and walked quietly out of the house, hoping not to disturb the boys. He walked down to Elizabeth's hpuse and knocked on the door. When she came to the door, he asked to speak to her. "I need a favor from the clan" he said. "Watch after my family. My old ways don't fit with them anymore. Everything I say brings grief to Aurora. She is afraid to speak to me. I am going away to die." He didn't wait for Elizabeth to answer, but turned and walked away, walking down the road.
 
Aurora glanced as he Walked into the house sighing as he left and nothing was resolved. She sat on the porch for almost an hour and as she did she felt a tingle down her spine she knew something was wrong, Robert scent had changed and it was not coming from the house, she called to the boys and then headed to Elizabeth home how told her what Roberts plan was, aurora left the children with Elizabeth and went after him.

She transformed into her wolf form and followed his scent it was not long by the time she caught up at with him. She cut him off and stood in front of him just staring at him, her snow white fur not matted with blood as she opened up one of her wounds going after of him. She slowly transformed back standing naked in front of him. "why Robert, why" she had tear in her eyes she didn't seem to notice she was bleeding
 
He dropped his duffle in the road, and took out a long coat and wrapped it around her. "I can't bear causing you pain any longer." Everything I do or say makes you angry at me. You say I beat you down, but I don't mean to, and don't want to. I don't know how to act or what to do. Especially I don't know what is acceptable to do around the boys. I asked for your help and you turned me away. You don't trust me me even to listen with an open mind. I am a failure as a father and a husband. You are better off without me. I couldn't even protect you from attack."
 
"I just want be an equal with you, I don't think you see me as such,that may be how you raised to treat women but I am not someone to bend to your will. I want a say in what you teach the children and when you teach it to them, and I want to be able to do the same same, but I am afraid to. And even now you are making the final choice in this argument, you choose to die instead of being with your family." her hand came to her wound holding it to try to slow her bleeding.
 
"I gave you total say in how to raise the children. I said "teach them what you will" what more say can I give you. I asked for your help to teach me what to teach them. You are are more than an equal. I begged you to help me. You left me to greave for two hours on the porch. Aurora, I don't know how to please you. I don't know how to give you more respect than I have. I chose to die instead of hurting you more. I told you the the thought of being apart from you and the boys was tearing my heart." Seeing her bleeding was more than he could bear. He left his pack where it was and picked her up in his arms and started carrying her home. "I will come home, but I'm telling you now, I have no idea what I can or can't say to Ashe any more, and he won't understand why. I need your help. If you can't trust me at least for that, I don't know what to do. I have no fight left in me."
 
Aurora didn't say anything as he picked her up she just clung to her wound. As he continued to speak she shook her head. "Robert you have not been listening at all." she struggled to get down out of his arms. Once she did she just looked at him there was so much sadness in her eyes she looked so broken. "maybe I was never the right girl for you, maybe you should have found someone else or not mated at all because I cause you to much pain, whatever the case it is to late to change Any of that now, because you can not turn tail and go die, how would that be fair to your son."
 
He looked at her dumbfounded by what she had just said. "You tell me I have not listened and yet what you just said tells me you heard nothing of of what I just said. I WILL COME HOME. Did you here me say that? How you teach the children is up to you. YOU DON'T NEED MY PERMISSION FOR ANYTHING. I don't know what to say or do with the boys now. I am afraid that what ever I do with them will offend you. It is not that I am unwilling, I simply don't know how to behave. Even now I have offended you somehow and I don't know what I did wrong. What words have I not heard? What have I missunderstood? I need your help. I need you to believe that I'm not just some brute that wants to dominate your life."
 
"all I want from you is balance, I want you to teach the boys about your heritage, however the few times I have a concern about your teaching you listen to me, you understand me, and maybe we can find a way to better teach, and the same goes for me and what I would like to teach them." the hand that held her wound was shaking now as she was starting to loose to much blood. "and I know and understand that our children may to continue to be part of this clan and I will be happy for them, and support them any way I can, at the same time they may want to go see the world, perhaps even take a human as their bride and I will be happy for them and I will support them any way I can, and I want you to do the same and not be sad if they do not choice to be part of the clan as you have stated you will be. Let them be them selves who ever they may be, that's all I want for them."
 
He saw her beginning to shake and falter. He caught her in his arms. " I want you to know that more than anything, I love you and the boys. I will honestly try to have balance and to give them options. I will still need your help in seeing those options, they don't come as naturally for me as they do for you, just as my traditions are not natural for you." He knew that they had to talk, but he could also see that Aurora needed to be home and resting, and that her wound needed immediate attention. He cuddled her tightly in his arms and walked as quickly as he could without jarring her back to the house. Reaching the yard, he saw the boys playing happily and Elizabeth sitting on the porch. " She opened her wound running after me. We need the doctor now, and if possible, someone to retrieve my bag from the road." he said to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth opened the door for them without a word and as he carried her up to bed, got on the phone and summoned the clan doctor. She called her son and asked him to retrieve Robert's things. She then came quickly up the stairs, and entered the room where Robert was getting her ready for bed. "The Doctor is on the way. Why don't you spend a few minutes with the boy's, they are worried about you Robert. I'll finish seeing to Aurora" "Thank you" he said, and then kissed Aurora gently and went down to the yard.
 
Aurora was no longer in any position to argue with him, she let him take her home and upstairs to bed. She was glad to see the boys were playing. As Robert left the room she looked to Elizabeth "thank you for watching the boys."
 
"I'm glad to see he has come home" Elizabeth said to her as she helped Aurora into a loose fitting Robe that the Doctor would not have to cut away to treat her wounds when he arrived. " That man loves you very much, but he is the last of a breed, there are no other males who were raised as he was. He feels very alone in the world right now. There are a few females left who understand him, but they are all like me, old enough to be his mother." Elizabeth tucked her into bed. "In his culture, the woman is the master of the home, she is in charge of the way the children are raised. For a man like him to be involved with his children's daily life is completely foriegn territory for him. Maybe that will help you to understand him. His old clan put terrible pressure on him to preserve their way of life. Pressures a man was never meant to have in his culture, and that he is completely unprepared for. If I can help you any way at all please ask me."

Robert went down to the porch and watched the boys playing for a moment before he walked out into the yard. "What are you two up to? Looks like you have a fine collection of serpants there! Aunt Elizabeth said you were worried about me. I'm ok, but Momma isn't feeling to well, so we have to try and be extra nice to her right now OK?" "We will Daddy!" Ashe answered as he and Lukka continued playing in the dirt.
 
Aurora sighed "we are both very different and I often wondered if it is right that we are even together, I love him so very much, but is that enough to have a happy marriage? I don't know" she looked down tear falling from her eyes
 
"Love is what counts" Elizabeth said "The rest is just details. I would give anything to have James back again, though we often dissagreed. I miss him terribly. He was a lot like Robert, but he he was free to live the traditional life he was raised into. He was a good provider and protector. We had nine children. I'd have given him 19 if he had lived. One thing he didn't have was Robert's soft heart. He was a hard man, but I loved him for it, and he loved me." Tears tugged at the corners of Elizabeth's eyes as she thought of James.

At that moment Robert came to the door with the doctor. "Let's take a look at those wounds"
 
Aurora wanted to comfort Elizabeth but then the door opened and Robert and the doctor were standing there. She looked to Robert for a long moment just tring to get a read him but she couldn't she looked to the doctor now "it hank you for coming I opened up one of my wounds."
 
As the doctor came to the bedside, he looked at her wound. "You've torn out my stitches. I'm going to put some anesthetic cream on and then let it soak in a few minutes before I restitch the wound" , he said. The doctor applied the cream and then left her alone with Robert. Robert pulled a chair up beside the bed and took her hand. " I talked to the boys for a few minutes. They seemed to be just fine once they saw I was back. I don't think they really realized there was anything seriously wrong. I promise you I won't leave again, no matter what. Will you promise me that you won't shut me out of your heart? That you won't fear to tell me what your feeling? A woman should never fear her husband. That just isn't right. If you fear me, I'm a failure."
 
"I am glad the boys are ok," she looked down at there hands and sighed. "I love you very much Robert, I think that is why these fights of ours hurt me so badly, I just don't understand how we can fight like we do but in the end I still want you and love you."
 
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