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Pdrive's Journal, Absences, and Rant Corner

Just so everyone knows, I will be on sporadically until Sunday, as I'm leaving on a trip to go see my new baby niece. :3 I'll get on as much as I can, though.

<3 Pdrive
 
This is TOTALLY random, but a few minutes ago, I erm...enjoyed myself, and perhaps more than ever before, I understood the concept of "La petite mort", or Little Death. It was almost creepy; for about 30 seconds, I literally cared about NOTHING. It wasn't even the good kind of not caring, it was like a profound emptiness and melancholy. It disturbed me enough that I Googled it to make sure, and yes, melancholy can be caused by the release of oxytocin in the brain. It was just on a deeper level than I ever remember experiencing in that instance, especially since I'm not particularly depressed about other things right now.

Just weirded out/distressed me a little, so I wanted to write it down.
 
I doubt anyone will see this, but I had a peculiar experience just now, and I wonder if anyone else has ever experienced this. I don't usually read erotic writing of others, but just now I was struck by a curiosity to find erotic writing in a particular setting. The longest story I could find featured a variety of things that I'm not really into, and it was extreme in a lot of ways even for my tastes. Morbidly curious, I decided to read it. To cut a long story short, I found myself slightly excited by the writing itself, even though certain aspects of it were rather distasteful for me. It was peculiar, almost as if reading sexually charged writing carries a sort of base arousal by itself. I guess it's different than say, audio-visual porn, where what you're seeing is what you're seeing and that's that. With writing, your brain can create whatever images it wants. That's why there are certain things I'll include in writing that I don't have any interest in seeing in porn, come to think of it. Anyway, if anyone does see this, has anyone else ever experienced that feeling of "base arousal" where you're simultaneously excited by some things and repelled by others? It was a really weird feeling, and it's sticking to me.
 
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