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Dancing to a new tune (Wolvenrogue and Dead Rose Garden)

A blush spread across her face and then the idea of children made her feel ill. Her life was going to end the night she was married, not begin. Fear filled her and despite how much she loved Robert she could never imagine being a mother. Once everyone left she would need to talk to him and when they did she went and sat beside him, “Robert… I do not want children.” She said it outright afraid of his reaction, “I want to sing and I want to have a life with you but I do not want children.”

Tears filled her eyes as she feared he would hate her, “Don’t get me wrong I love children but I love my life far more. I want to live my life filled with passion and children destroy that. When I am older I may consider adopting an orphan but I will bear you no children. Should you want to leave me tell me now.”
 
Robert was a bit shocked at her firm decisiveness, but they had never discussed children, and knew he had no right to assume she would have them, just the same, he had wanted them, and giving up that dream mad a significant difference. "Well he said, I had hoped to have a family, but my love for you is deeper than that need. I'm sure we will find some what to express our love other than through children.

He announcement had caught him flat footed, he hadn't been ready for it. Right or wrong he had expected that children would part of their life. Now that would have to change. He grew sad.
 
wolvenrogue said:
Robert was a bit shocked at her firm decisiveness, but they had never discussed children, and knew he had no right to assume she would have them, just the same, he had wanted them, and giving up that dream mad a significant difference. "Well he said, I had hoped to have a family, but my love for you is deeper than that need. I'm sure we will find some what to express our love other than through children.

He announcement had caught him flat footed, he hadn't been ready for it. Right or wrong he had expected that children would part of their life. Now that would have to change. He grew sad.
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Catherine could feel the sorrow he had and it had broken her heart to the point that she had to pardon herself. As tears fell down her cheeks she hurried to an area where he could not see her but should he need her she was able to get to him quickly. She had hurt the man she loved by her bold decision and she knew that had he ever found another he loved more her lack of providing him a child would be grounds for an annulment or divorce. She sobbed silently for the pain she had caused him and even considered having just one child but that would be years of her life devoted. Her breast would no longer be her own but a tool to feed another life. She simply could not bear a child for him, or anyone.
 
Robert saw the tears as she left. The whole issue had blind sided them both. It was something that they should have discussed befor becomming engaged, and normally would have had thay not met and fallen in love the way that they did. Robert decided in his own mind, that what he had said, though a first reaction and not the object of great thought, was the best course of action, He was in love with her, and even if they did have children, she would always come first. At the same time he wondered, how thhey could ever be physically involved, with out at least the possibility of a child. That was something they would need to discuss. "Kitty? can we talk? he said."
 
Kitty dried her eyes and with her head ducked to look at the floor she appeared again and she seated herself on the love seat not looking at him, “Yes Robert?”
Her heart was throbbing but not in the way it had been earlier that day when they were kissing or when she saw his nude body. She thought for sure her heart would break and even more sure that he was discontented with her choice to remain without children. She could not blame a man who so clearly wanted children but she kept nothing from him. As soon as it had occurred to her she mentioned her previous decision to never be a mother.
 
"Kitty, you and I fell in love with out first discussing some very important matters around our future family life. It was neither your fault nor mine, but it has happened, none-the-less. I have always wanted children, where you don't want to bear any. My love for you is stronger than my love for children though and I am willing to forgo asking you to mother a housefull of kids.

However, he said, I cannot imagine living life without normal marital relations with you, and that carries with it some real risk of preganancy, even if we are careful. Are you willing to accept that risk, and bear a child should one come our way unintentionally, and be willing to have normal relations with me as my wife, even though it involves some risk? I love you and would risk anything to be with you. He lifted her chin, and looked in her eyes, and waited for an answer.
 
Her tears again dripped down her face and she shook her head, “I’m sorry Robert. I want so much to be with you but I cannot ask you to give that up. I was right to run from you that night but it would have been better for the pair of us if I had never hurt my ankle and if I had never come to reside here. I think that I should return to the theater as soon as you are better.”

She still could not look at him as she made her declaration in great attempts to be more kind to him than trapping him in a marriage where he was denied the right of being a father. “This has all been wonderful while it lasted but I simply can not… I can risk a small bit but I just can not ask you to give up your dreams because of me. I am truly not worth it Robert. I am a young and foolish girl You would be far better with a woman who was somehow…more than myself”
She stood turning from him and pulling off the ring he gave her setting it on the table, “Now might I get you anything before I go to my room for the night?” The action broke her heart and she was glad somehow his leg was broken and he would not be able to follow her to the room she planned to hide in as much as she could the next six weeks.
 
"No! wait! Please! Kitty! Don't!" he took the ring from the night stand and hobbled from the room, driven by passion, but when he reached the stairs, he pitched down them, rolling and landing in a heap at the bottom. Willing himself to his feet, his splints broken he began hobbling to her room the ring still secure in his clenched fist. "Kitty! I would die for you!" he shouted at the top of his lungs as he fell to the floor.
 
Kitty heard him fall to the floor and she opened the door to see him there laying on the floor. She kneeled down beside him and put her face in his chest crying to the point that her body shook with sobs, “I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” She lifted her face to look at his leg and her face was pale at the broken splint, “Oh Robert I am so dreadful.” She shook her head putting her face to his chest weeping again. “You foolish man! How could you do this to yourself when you are not yet recovered?” She looked up at his face and she stroked his cheek tenderly despite the tears coming down her face, “Don’t ever tell me you will die again. Alright? I just cannot think of you leaving this world. I can handle living my life alone knowing you are alive and well but should you ever leave this earth know I will not be far behind you.”

She kissed his lips softly and then her open mouth set to invade his. Her tears hit his cheek as she kissed him and when she at last pulled away the tears had stopped. “I suppose I should help you off the floor shouldn’t I?”
 
"Wait! This is yours!" he said holding out the ring. "Please understand, that while I want children, not just any will do. I can live without children, but not without you. If I am to have children they have to be yours, otherwise thank you, but I'll go without. Won't you please take this back? I love you so much!"

He looked into her eyes expectantly, hoping she would accept the ring again.
 
She nodded taking the ring and putting it back on her finger before lifting him best she could into a position he could stand in. “Shall I take you to your room? It may be easier in the morning when you wish to bathe.” Her hand clutched at the fabric of his shirt and she began to guide him to his room without waiting for an answer, “ I should go to call upon the doctor to fix this splint but until then what should I do.”

She got him to his bed helping him laydown before she slid in beside him sitting with her knees bent so that she was sitting side ways beside him, “I’m sorry for all of this Robert. I do so hope this is not the gentleman in you and that you truly want me despite it all.” She caressed his face gently.
 
"Oh Kitty, You have no idea! I said I would die for you, I meant it! I would. I have known since the day I carried you in my door. Don't ask me how but I did. I'm sure I did myself no good chasing after you and falling down a flight of stairs, but I couldn't help myself. Every moment that you were no longer mine terriified me."

"Please don't ever take that ring off again. Please" He slowly began to relax and leaned over and laid his head in her lap, and held her hand in his playing with the ring on her finger assuring himself it was safely in place, He drifted slowly off to sleep.
 
Kitty shifted a bit guiding his head to the pillow, “Rest your head here my love.” She moved her body to rest beside him placing soft kisses on his hand as she slid to lay beside him. “I will not take the ring off again. I promise. Shall I sleep here with you tonight? Would that help?” Her hands cupped around his, “I will take the risk to be with you Robert. I love you enough to try to be as selfless as I can be, and should I have a child I will bear the burden silently.”
 
Robert Lay on the pillow, still reeling from the throbbing in his leg. He was relieved that she was willing to be his bride despite the possible risk of a child, but deep in his heart it grieved him that a child if they had one would be a burden, and not a joy. He only hoped that were it to happen, she would be over taken with the mother's instinct and find joy in her baby. For now though he was in no position to worry about, much less try and convince her that her feelings about a child were wrong. He had had a victory in keeping her but at a cost that he would now have to bear in his body.

He yearned to be nearer her body to feel its warmth as he had when he had laid in her lap. For now though he would be content for that which she offered him, and pulled her hands close to his chest and letting his affection for her ease the throbbing in his leg. "yes my dear", he said "please stay with me" he said. Robert had known the warmth and comfort of a woman before and he longed for it again. Though in remembering the comfort, it was no longer Jenna who he longed for as it had been for so many years before it was Kitty. Jenna did not even enter his mind.

Unlike Kitty, Robert had no fear or hesitation in plunging deep into love, and cared little what anyone else besides Kitty thought of his actions. he was pursuing his love, and nothing, not even extreme pain was going to stand in his way. For her sake though, he moved slowly, seeing that she was delicate, despite her inward strength and tenacity. It was a quality that endeared her to him, and despite the frustration, it sometimes created, he didn't have any desire to change it. he truly felt that his life with kitty, and all that it meant, was his true destiny. His shirt was still open and he pressed her hands to his chest, and comforted by their warmth and softness drifted into the haze of sleep.
 
Kitty watched him sleep for a long time before she leaned over him more to press her lips to his, “I love you Robert.” And then her head came to rest on his chest where she listened to his heart until her own sleep came. In the morning she would go to fetch the doctor who would follow shortly behind her to take care of the leg.
 
Robert woke, to find her head on his chest and smiled. Her warm body against his was all he needed to drive off the throbbing in his leg. He would wait for this woman, what ever it took. He simply could no longer imagine life with out her. He knew that patience was required, and though at times it was difficult for him, he would wait until she felt the same way. He lifted her chin with his finger, and gently kissed her awake.
 
Kitty’s eyes cluttered open slowly and when she realized he had been kissing her the smile that she thought she would have lost forever the day before was back. Spreading slowly at first but then wide and happy,” Good morning.” Her voice was raspy with sleep but instead of getting up she curled closer to his side the tip of her nose nuzzling his chest softly.

She draper her arm about him and was overjoyed that no one was walking in on them this morning, “How is your leg feeling?” Guilt washed over her face as she looked down at it then back to him, “Should I go for the doctor? Or do you need some brandy?”
 
"Well in this case, I think both," he said." The brandy first please. That leg needs reset. I broke it again, and I know it. But wait for a bit, please just stay where you are for a few minutes. " he cuddled her tightly to his chest. It felt good having her close and knowing she was still his. After a few minutes, he was content, and asked her for the brandy and fetch the doctor to reset the leg. He had every intention of being good and drunk when the doctor arrived.
 
Within an hour Kitty had made sure the full bottle of brandy and a glass were with Robert and the doctor arrived. Kitty left the two men alone in the room while she gathered a place a food for her fiancée on a tray to bring him once the doctor had gone. Before he had left Kitty had managed to bathe and dress returning for the steps to get the tray just as the Doctor showed himself out to his horse.

“What did the doctor say?” She came to sit on the bed with him again setting the tray down in front of him, “You should eat. That liquor is no good for you especially on and empty stomach.” The she paused looking at his face for a long moment, “I never meant to do this to you. I love you very much Robert even if I do not always say it or show it. I am very sorry.” With the last words she had to look away as tears thickened her lashes.
 
"Well I was right, I rebroke it. Its not as bad as it could be, but I'm starting over on the healing process, and it will take a bit longer. He kinda chewed me out, but i don't care , I'd do it again if need be." I still have you and that is what's important. As she turned away, he pulled her to him. His leg was hurt, but his arms were just fine. "Catherine Davis" he said, using her full name for emphasis, I love you. Don't be afraid to share anything with me especially your tears. We will get through this little bump in the road together.
 
Kitty did her best to smile but instead she ended up with her face pressed to his chest, “What about the ship? Are you going to be well enough in six weeks to make that kind of run?” Her head rested against him for a while as she listened to his heart and whatever he offered in speaking. Soon however she was insisting he should eat. “I am so glad you love me but next time just call for me and I will come no matter what our dispute. I do not want to see you hurt because of me again alright?”
 
"Alright, Alright" I promise. I'll be ok for the Captain's position. They mostly give orders anyway.. I'm not blind, and my voice works just fine. You'll have to go along though.. Think you will manage it.? Any way I promise to be good as long as you leave that ring where it is and don't give it back to me." he said laughing.
 
She smiled at him taking the tray and setting it to the other side of the bed. She lifeted her skirts and very gently startled him. The act was not meant so much as a means of arousal so much as she wanted to face him fully to kiss him. Kitty put forth an unusual effort to put aside her shyness and to kiss his lips sweetly at first but then far more heated than before when she broke away she met his eyes for a moment to say, “I will go where you lead me husband for this ring will never again leave me.” She kissed him again soft whimpers of enjoyment coming from her.
 
Robert smiled at her words, he was at peace now, and still being rather drunk from the brandy was getting sleepy. "Kitty" I'm worn out and feeling rather dirty, can you help me out of these clothes and get me a bath. He wasn't thinking about what his request might mean, he was simply being honest. He did need a bath and was very tired, and still quite a bit drunk.
 
Kitty nodded climbing from him gently and started to help him undress. She seemed less intimidated by the act now and when she helped him to the tub she did not leave right away. Her face still painted red she insisted on helping however she could. “Do you need me to wash your hair or anything? I will do whatever I can as this is my fault after all.” Kitty still avoided looking at his male parts but she did not shy away from him now. She had seen all of him and knew full well that he would do nothing to her even if his gender showed significant interest in her.
 
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