The Space between Love and Sex (FeathersxAdira)

[Adira]

The fact that Julie had seen her make a move but stop her hand on time, and that the young redhead threw that fact into her face, made Esther gasp for air. Not to mention the fact that the teen clearly kept on seducing her and knew it was working. And when Julie proved her point by standing under the shower, daring her to look at the teens body. It took all her will power to not look down but keep her eyes locked with those of Julie. The fact that she herself was starting to feel excited by having the young teen body so close next to her, was another thing she tried to hide as much as possible. It was clear it was better for her to leave the shower as fast as possible.

Yet then Julie spoke up once again and the last words the teen said cut through her like a knife through butter. “That is unfair of you!” she said softly. “Besides even if, and I’m clearly saying it with a big if, I had some kind of feelings for you, I can’t forget that I’m your teacher and an adult in charge of you. Besides I’m all ready dating someone who’s very precious to me. So I will forget that this has ever happened and let it slide for once. Though if you insist on continuing this I’ll have to report this to mother superior.” She said the last in a hard tone before quickly wrapping a towel around her. She would change in a different stall since she didn’t want to give the young redhead other ideas. Just before leaving the stall, she waited for a moment. “You know, the way you talked you said that Sandra forced you and used you and you didn’t like that. Then why are you trying to do the same? I thought you were a different girl. Apparently I’m mistaken.” She softly whispered before leaving the shower stall with her clothes.

 

[Feathers]

Julie watched Esther leave the shower stall, as her mouth opened and closed soundlessly like a fish out of water. The mention of Sandra felt like a knife in her belly, alternatively hurting like hell and spreading a slow creep of anger towards her heart. How dare she? Julie's thoughts raced as she slumped back against the tile wall. What the hell Esther know of her? Through the rumble of the water running over her head she head the stall next to her close as Miss Palmer was no doubt throwing her clothes on as quick as she could. But as it swung back open and the squeak of the door into the dorm hallway echoed throughout the room Julie slumped to the ground.

Pulling her knees to her chest she let the warm water was away her sins. Against herself, against God, but especially against Miss Palmer. "God? Why am I so dumb? Oh please don't let me have ruined this......Please, just one more chance" she whispered softly. She didn't know if she really believed that anyone was listening, but a lifetime of Catholic education had probably left a small but subliminal mark. But Julie figured she had nothing left to lose, Esther had walked out of the stall and ripped out her heart along the way. What's worse, she realized she had completely deserved it.

The warm water turning cool roused her from her meditation. Brushing away the soaking wet hair away from her redish eyes, she rose reluctantly to her feet and closed the valve. Quickly toweling off and tossing on her PJs, a small pair of running shorts that let her legs enjoy the cool air and an old tank top she pushed open the door slowly. There, down the hallway was Miss Palmer's room. In the other direction and a couple floors above was Sandra's room. Love was love right? Even if she couldn't have who she really wanted, Sandra was sure to greet her with open arms at the door, even if it meant Julie returning the favor with open legs.

Sniffing, the back of her finger rubbed at her eye, fighting the moisture that arouse. Dumb Julie. Always has been and always will be her inner voice taunted. Slowly, as if still making up her mind her bare feet walked slowly across the carpet towards Miss Palmer's door. Even if she had already ruined any chance of them, the thought of herself being a scar on Esther's mind hurt more than anything. 'Can I talk to you? The old oak, 9pm. Please' she wrote, ripping a piece of paper off the bullatin board and scribbling on the back. Sliding it under Esther's doorway she ran full bore towards the stairway and out of sight.

The old wise oak at the center of the expansive courtyard had stood there for longer than the school itself had. In a way they were both reminders of the cold truth of the occupants mortality. Both would be there long after the students graduated, living and loving before eventually fading off into the blackness. Julie laid on her back on one of the stone benches ringing the tree, and had been for the past couple hours. Sometimes it was nice just watching the stars come out. But tonight they seemed to look back at her as she tried to put words to what she was feeling. "Just another chance, please" she whispered.

 

[Adira]

After she ran out of the shower stall, Esther quickly put on her clothes in the next stall. At the same time she had trouble to keep her mind focused since the noise of water falling down, made her imagine how Julie would look like. Yeah she had resisted of looking down when the girl tempted her, but still her curiosity made her wonder what the young redhead would look like. Shaking her head, she tried to get rid of the image in her head, but she didn’t succeed in that too well. Thus she ran towards her room and decided it might be better for a change of scenery and atmosphere to help clear her thoughts. Taking her cell, she called Andrew, asking if they could meet up tonight. At first Andrew was a bit surprised at her sudden request but as the gentlemen he was, he made time for her. Since they agreed to meet up at their favorite restaurant, she took her bag and went to the sister in charge of the night watch. Since she herself wasn’t a sister, it wasn’t a problem for her to go out at evenings, she only had to make sure to tell the nun in charge she was going out and when she was expecting to return.

A good hour later she was enjoying Andrews pleasant company, a lovely meal accompanied with a good white wine. When she told Andrew about her promotion to dorm mother, he complemented her on her promotion and said that he was a bit jealous of her students since they know where in such good care. As always he knew what to say to make her blush. Though when he asked her when he would be so lucky to be the one she would take care of, she felt a pang of guilt coming over her. Her mood turned a bit sour and she had to look away from him when she told him that it wasn’t so easy to leave everything behind her. It wasn’t a real proposal of marriage, but what he asked of her meant she had to quit her job as teacher and leave the school. Something she couldn’t do just right yet since she loved her job a lot. And she didn’t know if her feelings for Andrew where bigger then that off her job.
Not to mention that later that evening, when they got to Andrew’s home and started to make out, the fact that she was imagining it was Julie that was kissing her, it were Julies hands that were caressing her naked skin and it was Julie that was setting her body on fire. Oh how she wished it could have been Julies smooth silky looking skin she was touching and to who she could whisper to make her feel even better.

When she left Andrew’s place and was driving back towards the school, she felt so guilty. Not only did she abuse Andrews kindness and feelings towards her, she had been fantasizing of another person, a teenage girl to be more precise, while having sex with him. Not to mention the fact that she had told that particular girl off earlier that day and fled towards Andrew to escape that girls reach. Cursing she asked herself what kind of person she was. Was she even worthy of being a teacher when she was such an awful person. Because her mind had been drifting while driving, she got back to school sooner than she liked, but she didn’t see another point in trying to stay away any longer, so she parked her car and reported at the nun’s office, telling she was back. Then she walked towards her room. When she opened up the door, she was surprised to see a piece of paper laying on the ground. Picking it up, she read the text on it and wondered who wrote it. Then she gave a quick glance on her watch, seeing it was just passed midnight.

For a moment, she doubted what to do. It was all ready three hours past the hour the person had requested to meet her, so normally that person would be smart enough of going back to her room, but she had a strange feeling, telling her she still had to make sure. It was her responsibility as teacher and dorm mother to make sure nobody would do something as rash as that and risk their own health. So after being torn between going to bed or going to check the oak three, she decided to go and take a check. A few minutes later she arrived at the requested place. “Hello, is someone still here?” She asked not expecting much.

 

[Feathers]

The voice breaking the dead silence seem like thunder compared to the gentle rustle of the wind through the leaves. Almost instantly a red head shot up into view from the bench, hoping against hope that Ester had really and truly come for her. Finding that it wasn't just a fevered dream, her hands quickly rubbed at her moist cheeks and eyes as if trying to get rid of the evidence of a crime. Resigning herself that there was no hiding the fact that she had clearly been crying Julie swung her legs out and sat up normally.

".....Yeah, I'm here." she said softly, her red inflamed eyes giving her hair a run for it's money even in the dim light around them. "I.......I didn't think you were coming. What time is it?" she asked, patting around her clothes for her cell phone to no avail. Lost in her troubles the hours had slipped away unnoticed as her mind reminded her exactly what she had done wrong over and over again. Only as Miss Palmer made her way over did the red head realize just how chilly it had become, a fact her thin tank top without a bra reminded her of. But that was the furthest thing from her mind as her crush came into view, they had seen each other naked so a little more of her nipples was the least of her worries.

"Yeah, talking. I invited you here to talk" she reminded herself as she brushed the hair away from her eyes in an attempt to at least look presentable. "I just want to say.....I'm sorry. I didn't plan on walking in there, I swear it. But.....when I saw you...I don't know. I guess I though that what Sandra always did would work on you too. I'm so dumb to think that you, classy, beautiful you, would just run into my arms the first time I dropped my panties for you." Julie said, a small harsh laugh at herself intervening in the moment of silence between them. "I've been out here a long time........and I've decided that I don't really like what I've become. Next to you.......I know what I want to be and whatever scraps Sandra left in me isn't one of them"

"But I still can't say that I don't like you. I.....You can report me to Mother Superior. I think that would make things easier for me.....to leave here rather than know that you couldn't stand the sight of me." Taking a moment to nervously fiddle with her clothes, her mind raced as she sorted through her feelings.

"I have an Aunt, well more than one, but one really cool one. She was a flower child before it was cool way back in the 60s. Free love, peace all that stuff. Anyway after my parents gave me the birds and the bees speech when I was younger she took me for a walk and gave me her own version of one. I didn't really know what it meant before. She said 'Jules, you can say you love anyone. Wrapped in blankets with whoever you will eventually be with its easy to say you love them when you feel so alive. But you will know the one you really truly Love with a capital L when you don't feel alive, you feel like you are dying. When you walked out of that stall........I knew, Miss Esther, what that really meant. Everytime I look at you, it hurts because I know it might be the last time that I see you that day, or hour, or minute." She explained, her fingers sliding across the bench towards Esther's hand. Even now though, her fingertips just brushed Esther's smooth skin indecisively.

"It hurts and I don't want it to hurt anymore. But I saw it in your eyes in the shower. God you are so beautiful........." she whispered, looking at the tree as she sidetracked her own thought process. With a sigh Julie stood up and paced a couple steps back and forth, slowing to a stop in front of Esther. "The ultimatum in the shower.....that was different. I love you Miss Palmer. More than anything else I know, so much it's killing me not to..be in your arms. If you love me, touch me, kiss me, hug me. Let me know I'm not alone..... or leave me alone so my heart can die in peace." she pleaded, the pitch of her voice rising to near hysterics.

 

[Adira]

Esther was surprised when she suddenly someone move from the shadows from the oak. She almost let out a soft scream, but when she saw the red hair and heard a familiar voice, she managed to keep it in. “Julie, why… do you even know the time….” She started but the redhead didn’t seem to listen to her. It was as if she was nervous about something and kind off was ignoring her to get out what she wanted to say. So instead of trying to say anything, she just stood still, waited and when the young teen started to talk, listen to her. The words that came out surprised her so much. As she expected earlier that day, this girl gave her more trouble in just one day then that Sandra person would give in the entire day. Not to mention she was able to read what she was thinking, what she was starting to feel.

When Julie was done and stopped in front of her, pleaded to her, her eyes looking if she really was in pain, she couldn’t take it anymore. Esther took a few step backs, shaking her head. “No this, I can’t…” she said while she kept shaking her head. “We can’t….you’re a student, I’m a teacher…” She once again repeated but it all sounded so weak, as if there wasn’t any conviction in her own voice. “..even more so I’m an adult, you’re just a child….this wouldn’t be right…” her entire world kept getting tossed over and over by this gorgeous redhead. Not to mention this girl made her feel something, something like she hadn’t felt in a long time, not even with Andrew.

Again she took another look at Julie and felt her hearth almost break at the sadness this girl was emitting. “This isn’t a fair fight…” she whispered before closing her eyes. Her brain kept saying that she needed to turn around, walk away and forget about this girl. And she had every intention of doing it. But her body didn’t listen and stepped forward. The next thing she knew and was feeling was the warmth coming from Julie when she pressed the redhead’s body against hers, wrapped her arms around the teen and kissed her full of passion.

 

[Feathers]

That first magical kiss was everything Julie had wanted and more. The arms slipping around her back were their own reward for sticking out her fragile heart for Miss Palmer, cradeling, comforting the teen after the weighty moment between them. Pulling her hands from her side and up between them, her fingers cupped both of Esther's cheeks lightly as their lips parted for a quick ragged breath before diving right back in. No matter what excuses her teacher had mumbled about this being wrong, with the age difference and their positions, only a fool would say that this didn't feel like the most natural thing in the world.

Pulling her hands back down and around Esther's back, Julie pulled her head back from the embrace and pressed her cheek against Esther's chest as the emotion of the moment overwhelmed her. Squeezing their bodies together, trying to get just the little bit more of contact between them, Julie sighed contentedly as their body heat mingled in the cool midnight air. "No, it's not fair......." Julie finally said "It's not fair that you can be so perfect and me so messed up. It's not fair.....how you can look at me and I feel like I'm falling. You aren't so innocent Miss Palmer, whether you know it or not."

Brushing away a piece of hair from Esther's face, Julie took a step back. Something had changed between them, she could feel it like the wind gently blowing her red hair. Standing in front of the beauty in the sleek little black dress in only a tank top and short shorts, she found that she didn't feel threatened of inferior for the first time in her life. Maybe that's what love really was, she reflected as they looked at each other in silence. Letting yourself go and trusting your everything to the person you would die without.

"Miss Palmer.......Esther....." she said, beginning to shiver in the cool air. She straightened her back slightly, her skimpy tank top barely containing her perky breasts and the pert nipples straining at the thin cotton from the chill. "Can we go back to your room?" she asked softly, as if the tree itself was about to look up in shock. "I.....I would really like to go back to your room. I swear.....I swear on my soul that no one will ever find out....."