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In the King's service (wolvenrogue and nightsorceress)

Robert just layed there feeling depressed. All he had really wanted was an understanding hug, the teasing she gave him instead had just confirmed she didn't understand, and it seemed the more he said the worse things got. He fretted about it for an hour before falling asleep exhausted by the frustration of the situation.
 
Aurora take care of the children and helped her mother with her father. She did not want to go after Robert as it appeared he needed time for himself with the way he had left. She returned to her after helping her mother make dinner.
 
When Robert left he had told no one where he was going, and aparantly he was more tired than he had realized. He continued sleeping, even through dinner, and no one knew where he was, so that no one came to wake him and he continued sleeping soundly. When he didn't appear for dinner, Lilly was concerned, and asked "Aurora, where is Robert?"
 
Aurora was in her bed room with the babies. She was tickling Liam when her mother came in. "I am not sure but with the way he left I figured he needed time to himself he might just need to spend a night or two away from here."
 
"Aurora!" Lilly exclaimed. " It's not my business, but I think your making a mistake. Come down and eat dinner." As they ate, Lilly fidgeted. "You aren't even a little bit concerned?" she asked Aurora.
 
Aurora looked at her with mother and stop playing with the children and went downstairs with her mother. She sighed a little "I am sure he fine, if he not at our house then he might be in the cabin, he would not do anything stupid." she picked at the food a little
 
Robert woke and it was dark. He felt dirty and still more than a little tired despite all the sleep he had had. He got up and grabbing a towel, decided that a dip in the warm spring would be just the thing, so he walked down the path to the spring, and disrobing, climbed in to soak.
 
Aurora helped her mother clean up before the two woman went upstairs again and helped her father get ready for bed. She knew it was easier with Robert here but her and her mother manged. after that she went back to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed just starring up at the ceiling wondering if Robert would ever come back.
 
He sat in the warm water missing Aurora, but some how, things had gone terribly wrong. she seemed content to just let him go. He didn't understand. he heard footsteps coming toward the warm spring. He was glad it was dark. "Aurora? is that you" He quickly climbed out of the water and pulled on his clothes. "No its me Lilly, are you decent?" "Just a minute" he said as he finished pulling on his clothes "Ok I am now" he said. "so why are you here and not with Aurora?" she asked boldly. Robert hesitated. "To be honest, I think she is angry with me, but I just don't know." "I need to talk to her but she doesn't listen." "I t doesn't matter how I try to say it she doesn't understand, and I can't tell anyone else. So I'm here by myself, where I can't make her angry. There's nowhere else to go.
 
Aurora drew a deep breath as the boys started to fuss again. She wanted Robert to come back, but she did not want to force him, espically since she still totally did not understand his issue. She got up and fed the boys with a sigh. She tried to think of why this was so hard for her to understand, maybe because her mind was worried about her father, and taking care of children right now, or perhaps she truly did not understand her husband.
 
Lilly walked back to the big house shaking her head. She could see they needed each other, but were avoiding each other. This would never do. She went in the house and and found her daughter again feeding the babies. "Aurora, when you last tlked to Robert, did you listen to him, really listen? " she asked.
 
"No mother I covered my ears so I wouldn't listen." she shook her head. "Of course I listen, I want to fix things but he does not really make any sense, I mean he is afraid of the life he now lives but yet he is happy? how does that make sense?"
 
"Well my dear, I don't know, but he wants to tell you, and needs to tell you, and he won't tell any one else. He doesn't think you are listening, and he thinks he's made you angry. I just talked to him at the warm spring. He says he has no where else to go. I can't tell you what to do, but that's what he told me."
 
Aurora looked at her mother. "will you watch the children while I try to talk to him again." when her mother agreed she left the house and headed to the warm spring, she hated leaving her mother with the children and her father to look after but she had little choice. She found her way to the spring. She stood against a tree and looked at him. "Hi" she said softly.
 
"Hello." He said softly. "Lilly must have told you I was here. I'm sorry she bothered you, but I'm glad you came. I haven't done a very good job of explaining myself, and I worry that now I've made you angry.
 
Aurora sat down in the grass not getting into the water with him. She looked at "I am not angry, I am just frustrated." she admitted to him softly
 
"I didn't want to frustrate you. What did i do to cause it?" he asked. He reached over and took her hand. "Please tell me. I really want to know."
 
Aurora sighed, "i still don't understand why your upset, but i think i am frustrated with everything that is going on, My father's health is still a huge worry for me right now and i am frustrated i am pretty much useless. I frustrated because i don't know what the heck is going on with you, and every couple of hours i have to stop to feed the babies" she looked down
 
I can't help with the babies, but why do you feel useless? That I don't understand. I need you , if no one else does. That in fact is what's going on with me. I need you, not prestige, or power, or anything else, and I can't seem to convince you that is true. When I brought you the flowers and apologized, all I wanted was a hug and for you to say you loved me. I was hurting, and really I still am.
 
Aurora shook her head and tried to push her own troubles a side, it was not the time to worry about her own feelings, she had to focus on his, "But Robert I still don't understand why, it makes no sense what so ever to me, I have replayed the events of the day and i can't figure it out. Before that happen we had passionate sex, we went to bed cuddling in each others arms, my mother calls us over to help with my father, we get him stable. The i offer to help with things and that is when you lost it. I don't get it. If it wasn't about prestige, or power then why in that one moment when i offered to help did you loose it"
 
"Because it was that moment that made me realize that my life was no longer in my own control, and it made me feel vulnerable. It has nothing to do with the details. It was only the trigger. Everything that upset me has been true since the day I abdicated my throne, to stay here. I just didn't realize it. It has nothing at all to do with your offer specifically."
 
"Again that statement alone confuses me, why the hell do you think you are trapped here, why do you think you have no control over your life now that your here and no longer a king, i know what it is like to truly have no control, and from where i see it you have all the options and control in your life. so tell me what do you not have control of any more, give me real examples maybe that will help better understand." she struggled to get her frustration with him at bay, it was clear she was struggling.
 
"Let me ask you a few questions. They should illustrate what I mean.
Can I take my family and go where ever I please?
Can I work and support myself and my family through my own efforts?
Am I the head of my own household?

Those three questions are all more important than power or influence, or politics, and the answer to all three are really "no". Where as before the answer to all was "yes", except that before, it didn't matter, because I had no family. I sacrificed those rights to have a family, and it was worth it. I would do it again if I had the decision to make over again. But none the less, the answer to those questions and others like them scare me. I cannot help it.
 
Aurora looked at him a moment. "well since you asked questions i think i have a right to answer,
can you take your family and go where ever you please, well yes you know I would follow you any where, i did it once didn't it?
You can support yourself and your family, you not a useless man, you have been learning how to deal with things here and it will come in handy one day, but as for the moment, we don't need to be support as we live in a place where money is not important.
You are the head of the household if it is important to you, however i remember a time when that wasn't, when we would just be us, and make decision together." she looked down "You are looking into the negative into your life, and I am sorry but if being here is such a sacrifice and scares you so badly then there is nothing i can say or do to change that. I hate that you think that everything we have is a result of a sacrifice though, that right there hurts me, and i can not support you to feel better about your sacrifice"
 
"Yes you followed me, but you were unhappy, from the moment we left. I couldn't bear that then, and can't bear it now. so no, I can't leave. I don't want to leave."

"I was given a job with a title, and no responsibilities, to do something that in this kingdom isn't needed. I am supported with food and a home, that I did not contribute to. Just how is that supposed to make me feel useful? Again this is a different place, with different ideals which I have chosen to embrace. I have strived to be useful at home, learning to cook, and clean. I have never complained about that, and I never will. It was my choice, but choosing that path required leaving another.

When I say head of household, I speak of it as it was in my kingdom, because that is what I left. That does not mean I am unhappy with my situation. It simply means I cannot go back.

Were you not scared, when you became pregnant? Did you not make sacrifices to bear children? Are you sorry you did? I hope not. But I know you were scared. Once pregnant you couldn't go back, and you can't now either. Its the same. You wanted my love to help you through it. I want your love in the same way. You cant take away the fear any more than I could when you were pregnant.

I just want your love, and understanding that my fear is real and justified, nothing more.

If i cant have that then I truly am lost.
 
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