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Rape: the woman's fault?

I've been fortunate enough in my time to never have been raped or had anyone close to me raped. Me and my father both believe that men who rape are pretty much the lowest forms of life on earth. Rape doesn't just hurt: it destroys. It's one of the most life altering aspects that anyone can live threw. Unlike the loss of a limb, rape leaves deep emotional scars much like when someone loses a child. Men who claim that "she wanted it", "look how she dresses" etc. are merely looking for a way out from any legal entanglement. They know what they did is wrong but don't want to pay the piper as it were.

As for statistics: it isn't just for rape that these numbers apply. The vast majority of crimes that happen are the result of someone the victim knows. It's a sad but prove true fact. I've had friends who have ripped me off. It's no where near as bad as being raped, but it does prevent me from forming tight friendships with people.
 
By law, even if it is during the sex act itself, a woman can change her mind and if her partner hesitates or does not oblige, that is rape. She does not need to verbally decline in any way - any display of fear or reluctance, or even passive refusal to cooperate - all of that qualifies as denying consent. The reason why people get confused about issues of consent and a woman changing her mind is because short of the viscious attacks in dark alleys in the like, it is very difficult to prove. Rape is difficult to proveeven when it is plainly obvious - you could rape a woman infront of multiple people, she could scream for help and beg for you to stop for everyone to hear, and it would STILL be hard to try in court because consent is such a tricky issue.

Just recently a teenage girl was gangraped outside her school, and despite being beaten to a pulp and being trained by 5+ guys being unusual for a young girl to want, it has been a huge hassle in court. I wish I could remember where it happened, or where to find the article.

The fact of the matter is, everybody has the right to change their mind. It doesn't matter what she is wearing, how drunk she is - there is always a line, always.

The tendency to blame the woman when it comes to rape is deeply entrenched into our culture. Being raped, for centuries, has been a tragedy riddled with deep shame and punishment; women were stoned to death for being the victim, considered "ruined" as women, deemed unmarriageable and etc. This comes from our traditionally male-dominated, and religious societal roots.

These opinions are very common in places where conservative values are promoted and are the norm. Males are considered superior to women, even if slight, or traditionally speaking (such as women being excluded from positions of power or priesthood in some religions) and by being raped and bringing it forward, that woman is disgracing herself and the man in question.

The research is out there, from a psychological/anthropological/historical perspective, it really does come down to male dominance and religion most of the time.

Another interesting idea is those of us women who have rape fantasies. What is important for people to understand is that true rape is not about sex, it is about power, and in a sex fantasy sex is the motivator and the power to control the fantasy is something that is inherent, thus differentiating the reality of rape and a fantasy for women.

As for provocative clothing, especially with the question of moral/legal age of consent, it's interesting to think about the rapid evolution of fashion, especially for children. Clothes that children and young teenagers wear now would have been considered downright pornographic when I was their age, and I'm only 21 now. Dressing provocatively has to have the same rules for all people, at all ages, in the eyes of the law, which is why the courts try their best to keep any history of clothing/sex acts/etc from the record to prevent bias. If a 21 year old woman dressing provocatively is considered even slightly responsible for her attack, somewhere else someone can claim for a 16 year old, a 13 year old, a 10 year old, and etc.
 
Unwanted touch is unwanted. Violating another human being in that way is in no way the fault of the victom. What a rapist does can only be called violence. Anyone who tries to defend themselves by blaming the victom quite honestly makes me sick.

I'm surprised this thread has gone on for as long as it has.
 
I'd say I'm surprised that more people are not willing to talk about this subject, but I'm not. And I most agree with Miss Exodus. Society seems to be targeted people younger and younger with the idea of Sex Appeal. I've heard of kids as you as 12 willingly engaging in sex with one another. And then there is those rumors of "teen pregnancy pacts". What person would want to get pregnant while still in high school?
 
Nathanromml said:
Who cares who is to blame, rape should be banned in order to prevent chaos and such. Period.

You mean...rape isn't already against the law where you live? Because in most of the modern world it is "banned". And rape isn't like murder or something where there is a clearly definable order of action in the crime. Despite popular opinion, dead men do tell tales.

Rape is harder because live victims can be unreliable and so prosecutors have to jump through hoops to prove the case. Blame is important to establish with such fickle scenarios.
 
PadanFain said:
You mean...rape isn't already against the law where you live? Because in most of the modern world it is "banned".


Errr....okay.

I say:
People shouldn't be shot only because they have a penis, what's wrong with having a penis?

Now, does that mean that people are actually being shot for having a penis where I live?


And rape isn't like murder or something where there is a clearly definable order of action in the crime.

So is theft. Should we allow theft only because it's hard to define order of actions in crime?

Rape is harder because live victims can be unreliable and so prosecutors have to jump through hoops to prove the case. Blame is important to establish with such fickle scenarios.

Now, I'm not a pathologist or something, but isn't it like...when woman doesn't want to have sex, her vagina is damaged in the process or smth?



Oh, and if you don't like me raping your post sentence by sentence...then I guess you'll have to deal with it or withdraw from discussion with me. I'm sorry, but it's my style.
 
Nathanromml said:
Oh, and if you don't like me raping your post sentence by sentence...then I guess you'll have to deal with it or withdraw from discussion with me. I'm sorry, but it's my style.

Honestly? It would be fine...if you'd actually read anything I said.

Nathanromml said:
Errr....okay.

I say:
People shouldn't be shot only because they have a penis, what's wrong with having a penis?

Now, does that mean that people are actually being shot for having a penis where I live?

Um, no. That's retarded. The statement you made before implied that something that is commonly illegalized was not already. I like your use of circular logic though.

Nathanromml said:
So is theft. Should we allow theft only because it's hard to define order of actions in crime?

Where did I say that it should be allowed? The point I was making was that it's hard to prove.

Nathanromml said:
Now, I'm not a pathologist or something, but isn't it like...when woman doesn't want to have sex, her vagina is damaged in the process or smth?

Yeah. It can also be damaged during really rough sex as well. With BDSM becoming less taboo nowadays, and with the lack of witnesses in most rape cases, it's victim's word against the suspected perpetrator about what really went down.
 
PadanFain said:
Honestly? It would be fine...if you'd actually read anything I said.

I did! Like twice!




That's retarded.

Aww yeah!

The statement you made before implied that something that is commonly illegalized was not already.

It did? Oh maybe. But that wasn't what I meant.

I like your use of circular logic though.

Oh yeah, I like it too.

Where did I say that it should be allowed? The point I was making was that it's hard to prove.

See? You misunderstood me, I misunderstood you, 1:1

Yeah. It can also be damaged during really rough sex as well. With BDSM becoming less taboo nowadays, and with the lack of witnesses in most rape cases, it's victim's word against the suspected perpetrator about what really went down.

Oh yes, but it can still serve as one of the proofs(depends on scenario, you know. Every rape is different. Generally speaking we shouldn't generalize stuff cause generalization is generally harmful.)
 
Hey, Rommel. There are some things you should know about the dynamics of how rape most commonly occurs.

Surprisingly enough, most sexual assault isn't some random stranger attacking a lady in a park late at night. 85% of survivors are assaulted by someone who they knew personally. Not just that, but rapists tend to go after people that they are in a position of power over socially or otherwise. That's why when it comes down to the he said, she said situation rapists tend to get away with it.
 
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