Everything.
Admitting that I'm weak.
Having to seek professional help when it could all have been avoided with some kindness.
Is being nice to someone who admits they like you and may want to be with you so fucking hard?
Feeling like you aren't worth the effort. It doesn't make me sad anymore, it just pisses me off. I'm a damn decent person and been through too much bullshit to be taken for granted. I won't be waiting for anyone. I won't chase anyone. If you can't realize I've been here the whole time, then fuck you.
The fact I am so nervous about going somewhere out in public. If I had a choice, I would never go outside. I would love to be a hermit with my internet and my video games and my girlfriend.
Why am I so shy? I'm nice. I think. It shouldn't be a problem to go out to dinner with co-workers, for a girl's night at a restaurant. If I don't become friends and do "friend" things like going out to eat or going to that party, I'll never be sociable. .____.