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Book with the spine marked ' Not so Everlong'

6/13/2011

Well... back to work.

You know after traveling from Denver to Rock springs, Wyoming then back again... you get this odd lagging feel. Like your brain is on a time delay with the rest of ones body. Could be the sudden change in pressures or altitude. Meh.
The pat on the back I'd like to give is to my truck.
Over three hundred miles just barely under five hours.
Woot.

Last time I managed to get three hundred miles in under a twelve hours was during a snow shift around the same ten mile area.
And boy did I plow the hell out of the area...

Habanera... is stuck in my head. Well the 'trance' version anyway.
Why does the french screw with me so?! lol not really that bad.
I can see myself only getting into so much trouble today.

Lets see...

-Click-

Cee Lo Green's ' F**k You '
sounds nice... even almost like a song you'd let a kid listen to if you didn't realize the words.

Well back to my morning routine.
Be heading out shortly.

-Laters
 
6/13/2011


I have a social test I'd like to try with people who might not have heard this song yet.

Imagine if you will you're being chased by the most terrifying thing you can imagine and as the tempo picks up you're given the items or be it; abilities you need in order to survive. Not defeat the enemy but get away.
This is all I ask for you to imagine before watching the video as well as if you wish, lyrics are below.

Listen to it in another tab or window before watching. Helps the mind form things on it's own.

http://youtu.be/IClGbW4Nj2g


Path Vol.2 - Apocalyptica
Featuring -Sandra Nasic

I want to live in fire
With all the taste I desire
It's all good if you let me dive
With some sharks on the ground

You lose your routine
You lose your routine
You lose your routine
Cause I found my path

What the hell are you trying
Now I know there is something more
What happened to you
Still staying on my path
Are you still denying
Now I know there is something more
That this is the truth
It's all in you

What do you came for
What did you expect to find
What do you life for
What did you expect to find
What do you life for
What did you expect to find
What do you life for
What did you expect to find

So boundless I feel
And boundless all my fears
Stop running back to old times

You lose your routine
Cause I found my path

What the hell are you trying
Now I know there is something more
What happened to you
Still staying on my path
Are you still denying
Now I know there is something more
That this is the truth
It's all in you

What the hell are you trying
Now I know there is something more
What happened to you
Still staying on my path
Are you still denying
Now I know there is something more
That this is the truth
It's all in you
 
6/15/2011

To quote someone else ( name eludes me at this moment... )

" I have yet to begun to fight..."

So today was an odd example of how my luck can be played off due to random happen-stance or perhaps the lunar cycles with my karma flow.
"...Some crazy cosmic chi happening here or what?"

Truck Rodeo, Show up and ace the pre-trip portion before continuing on to the course phase. It'd take place in two parts. The first half was average in difficulty so I'd let my older co-worker get it while the second half was more difficult.
Going backwards in a snow plow threw a serpentine taper before backing into an ally dock might sown simple.
I killed the shit out of some cones!
Alright no sweat, no pressure.
From there I went about the rest of the course and aced the diminishing taper before having to use the plow blade to knock a bowling ball between a pair of construction barrels at the end of the course.

Thinking I might get a bit of a talking to due to the fact I stopped at one point to get a better backing view before going into the Ally dock.
Not to mention to avoid going into the mud-pit from hell.
Another work crew's supervisor got stuck in it and happens to be some place on Youtube... or so I hear.

Won't be going to finals so oh well.
But while waiting for my turn at the course a supervisor from another patrol came up and happened to be spraying the out lines of a few cone place holdings here and there, then when I heard the sprayer go off behind me I thought nothing of it before looking to see the much older and should be far more professional junior foreman of over twenty years spraying on the ground.

Whatever.
Head back to the shed and find out I have a yellow spray paint mark on my blue jeans directly in the middle of my ass. Lines up with the hole and everything.
Alright irritated, frustrated from the course, go out to my truck to end the day and head home.
Shit starts flying out of my bed. Do a WTF moment and pull over to find co-workers had left garbage in it.
Then see a sign on my new fucking truck made from scotch tape and white paper. In big bold letters the word 'Free' was on the my grill.
Instantly plucking it off I fumed and went straight to pissed.
Knowing which a-holes did it to me I instantly text the first with a simple two word message. Starting with F and ending with uck you.
My replay was H's and A's
Soon the deed was perpetuated by second co-worker asking when I found out.
Send the same message as before back with the word 'to' at the end.
Kept asking when I found out, knowing full well it had been there.
Instead of being jealous in a civil fashion over me having a new truck then either could afford they pull this shit.
In their defense they explained another co-worker got one that stated ' Likes to suck gay dick'.
Well... That makes it all the better.

( Pauses to curse for a few moments before casually straightening his tie, clearing throat)
It had been planed to be put on mine but since I voiced out so much about rights towards people with different sexuality the core worry was over a sexual harassment and thus instead Free was good enough.

Alright. Ignore twiddle-dumb and Twiddle-Jack-ass.
Go about my afternoon and calm down to looking at porn and checking Blue moon. Life is good once again.
Friend calls me up and we go hang out, watching the Hangover2.
Not going to lie, it's the Hangover with a monkey and in Bangkok instead.

Day turned out better than expected.

Awh.

(looks around waiting for other shoe to drop.)

But before I knock on wood... it hurts if it's semi-hard... I'm going to point out I'm venting in a manner that is meant to be clear and known. It's journal oh well.

Well I just hope since tomorrow is my Friday nothing else unsavory happens.
If it does I'm just going to put in paper work, throw my hands in the air and make the statement a senior supervisor once did. " If Steven was there you'd be done by now... He's the hardest worker in your patrol."
Then give the peace sign and walk right the fuck out to start my weekend.


Oh and if my tone is odd or sounding angry, no I'm going for the mildly annoyed guy from the hangover. Sarcastic, arrogant and yes a little bit off hand.

Well hope everyone else had a better day.

( goes to find more porn... )
 
6/20/2011

Going to VA today.
Went Friday but got a referral instead to another center 'closer' to my home.

Been having reoccurring nightmares and dreams. Been going threw mood swings from angry at the little things to laughing at some of the bigger ones.
Might loose my job because of things other people say with no back up on my end.
Yet that makes me smile like an idiot.
Best paying job I've ever had and I might loose it. dur huurr ur.
Some one saying I've threatened their family, want to show him and his how much of a threat I can be. ( never have threatened any one really )

So to keep myself from being a threat or seeming like one in which this lulled and lazy society seems to make out anyone that used to be or currently is military... I'm going to follow the rather annoying and redundant steps of talking to someone about my 'feelings' before getting meds to keep me in line.

The person I spoke to last Friday, said I had 'hyper-vigilance'. My brain trauma is causing me to loose memory and adding the two tends follow with paranoia causes people to think twice about me.
Again I am not a small guy.
Growing up i started shaving at 14, broke the 6' height mark at 13 and now years later have to some what hunch to look at my computer monitor.
Point is I've been told I'm intimidating when I'm not doing anything. I've been told I look mad when I'm just sitting there thinking.
So now throw PTSD, knowing the nice little juicy spots to put pointy things into and an average size difference... -Ding- look he's a threat.

Well, I took today off to go to the VA.
Going to talk with a Marine friend of mine over some pancakes and O.J.
Hopefully I can get the nerve to get things done without blowing a nerve.

As far as the nightmares go... lets put it this way.
Reliving the systematic destruction of a city from well placed charges left behind because I know where all the weak places on bridges and highways are, followed by fending off a swat team.( for a while...fuck I hate snipers... )
Three times... in three nights.
Never fun or pretty.
Woke up crying my face off while whimpering like a beaten dog.

Time to get some better pills.
Hopefully get hypnotized.
At the very least... start looking for a less ass-hole filled work place.

Meh.

Pancakes...
 
*HUGS!!!!!!*

You'll always be a gentle giant to me. And I'm sorry you're going through all that....... you know you always have me in your corner. Always. I can't even begin to understand what it is you're going through, but I can see plainly that it's hard and... if it were me, downright scary. Seriously. It amazes me how well you do handle all that you've been through b/c I really don't believe many could handle such things all that well. Not the average person anyway. So, here's to you for being awesome and trying so hard and all that. And... if I could... I'd make you pancakes myself. <333
 
6/20/2011

Thank You DA.

Every a wonderful person.
I'll be fine, just venting. Went and had my head intentionally examined. Gotta go threw follow ups as well as talks.
Next week Monday @ 3:30 pm I'll be heading back to Boulder.
A rather liberal area that has a few people so extreme that I've been spat upon when exiting my vehicle with Disabled Vet plates.
Now not to say it happened this time... just missed and hit my window.

But, They're allowed to have their own opinions, it's what my brothers in arms currently fight to help maintain the right of.

But no politics. Even though some things get me going on every side of the political equation.
Democrat, Republican, Liberal, Conservative.

All infuriate me on one thing or another. Okay Done... there...

Anyways. I'll be fine once things are settled in a routine of going to see the quacks.
Swear if it wasn't for the outburst where I said enough words for someone to believe I'm threatening them... I'd not have gone.
Then again I might have exploded. Figuratively as well as literally.

That would have been a sight.
"... You know what asshole? Fuck you! " Ka-splat. Poop everywhere.

No I think that would be less humorous now in retrospect then actually coming to pass. Not so much the mess and disgusting part but feeling bad about what my body would have to do in order to produce the amount of foulness.

vomit doesn't seem any better and snot is in short abundance, worried about also what little gray matter I have leaking out.
Semen...No.
Urine.
No.

In short bad idea all around.

So I'm thinking about filing complaints, asking for a transfer and perhaps evening going to a separate section of my region all together.
I was told I was allowed to transfer if two things happened: A position opened up or conflict in the workplace made it harder to work in the same environment.

The thing is I already know this won't blow over.
Last time things got this far out of hand, nothing worked right for a month and the distance between me and the co-workers involved grew a little more.
So the thoughts and options that come to mind for possible Scenarios come as such...

Transfer, leave the area I started in over a year and a half ago to work with another crew.
Harassment will continue from abroad whenever in presence or back turned to the pair that don't really know how to be humans let alone shut up for ten minutes.

Pursue it until a lawyer is involved which that's how long it'd take for things to come to straighten out.
By that time things will be so construed and the system in every aspect is so fucked I doubt anything would happen correctly.

Or finally go back to my job where people seem to be dropping like flies and leaving anyways. And either wait them out or wait for a better opening to strike home. Endure further rigors while wishing for something to happen while they come back in a lull before starting up shit again.

It's not just childish harassment either.
Sexual, Physical and even talking shit about my prior service.

Sing songs about 'Steven the gay cdot worker'. ( I'm not but the insinuation is an insult, it'd be like calling a homosexual a lover of the opposite sex. Insulting due to miss labeling )
Ask me when, how and if I've had sex in the last few months.
( No, I'm not ready to be close to anyone... further things come as well as teasing. )
Randomly grabbing me and wrestling me when I'm already exhausted from working for them. Getting ball-tapped and random hit over the fucking head.
Of course I threaten to retaliate or even do try to get in a swing but never as painful as before.

Oh but the thing that sets me instantly from Zero-to-sixty isn't anything else that I have brushed off or over looked from the whole 'boys' will be boys crap mantra.
After all I've mad comments back and talked shit myself. It just happens.

It's the constant degradation of my years in service. The nicknames due to the similarities I have various military-media figures. ( fictional mainly )
Pyle seems to be the one I get the most.
Remove my beard and goatee and give me a crew cut... I'm a look-a-like.
Either that or Vince Vaughn for some reason. lol.
( humor from family... Still don't see it )

What gets me the most is these two reproduce openly not caring about anyone else but themselves. Only to act as if they care about their children.
One has four from three different women, kicked off of being a fire-fighter and talks shit about everyone while sitting back on his phone looking at porn all day.
Another has worst mental problems I believe then myself while owning over a hundred fire-arms and hordes crap while being influenced because of his weak mind.
I know I have problems... I keep it under-control every day of the weak.
I don't take it out on others on purpose, I'm not spiteful to those around me. I'm of course jealous at times but I note it and move on.
What these people do... is... staggering.

Just remember that these are the same people that work on your road ways. Granted it might be one in every couple dozen, but that still a few bad seeds to influence just enough odds for a decay.

If things continue in a manner where I honestly don't see myself working their further...
Things will change.
Funny thing is I can adapt to survive by myself in harsh conditions. Loosing weight will suck but I can do it.
I'll change for the next job that I can get.

Being tied down to a bad attitude and family that you're not even earning money for... that would be a form of hell I could barely believe.



Enough of my ranting and thoughts.

Just glad I've ran when I have, fought the little I believe I have and most of all have been lucky as I am.


Just hurt...
This hermit shit is tough.
 
*hugs*

I could go with a cliche, and tell you to "fuck 'em, and move on with your life *insert some charlie brown noises here*" But really, I know you know to take care of yourself. And even if it's venting here to just calm some steam in your head and get it to a tolerable level, do it.As someone who is no stranger to harassment, my advice is to not tough it out. I know it sounds awkward, but in my experience it only made it worse.

I was teased and called a boy...a lot. I still do, and not in the "Yay I'm passing for a male!" kind of way, but in the "Oh she looks so manly" kind of way. I had a lot of boys, and girls for that matter, groping, heckling, hitting, etc in both middle (predominately) and high school (mostly physical harassment). The more I tried to ignore it, or fight back, or even go along with it in hopes of creeping them out--the more relentless it got.

And as filing complaints go and things, on one hand I strongly urge you, but on another I know politically it would be a lot harder for your complaint to be taken seriously as compared to if I filed a complaint. (Namely I have a vagina, so of course they would be harassing me. I'm defenseless like that. If it's between guys it's just horsing around though.) And well, my lack of faith in anything government/political is just like that sometimes. However, just because it's harder to do doesn't mean it's not the right thing. Look at Gandhi and Susan B. Anthony. Two paths that definitely weren't easy, but they were right. (never mind Susan was a racist and Gandhi was an uber dick to his wife, and women in general at times lol.)

My point is, do not be afraid to leave if you have to, and even if it's just sending you good thoughts when I can, I am here for you if you need me.
I've been told I'm nice to vent to, and I do honestly enjoy helping people--particularly people who deserve it. I'm sending some major love your way though hiddenvet, and just hang in there okay? :)

And sometimes, being the bigger man means you have to not laugh it off, but hold enough laughter to where you can look someone in the eye, and feel sorry that they choose to result to cruelty to make themselves feel better. Cause really, thats what any kind of harassment/bullying is. People feeling the need to be cruel to validate themselves and whatever they went through.

But this is your journal and I should shut up and stop ranting. I'm probably sounding weepy and awkward...-_-;
I just really don't understand cruelty, and I guess I have strong opinions about it.

I wish you well though, and lots of laughter. I hope you feel better and those assholes realize that they are being assholes and learn to better themselves.
<3
~Cosmic
 
All comments, reviews and gripes and complaints will be reviewed and processed in the order received.

Long story short, as long as I know you...please rant. Gives me something to read. It's something so basic that I enjoy it's almost funny.
Kind of like remembering numbers but... not able to do math. lolz.

In a much better mood.

Shit brains A & B at work stayed very quiet the last couple of days.
Almost as if eggshells.
I just threw myself into work and ignored them where I could.
If work was a body of water I'd be swimming to the bottom, grabbing random extra stuff and bringing it up for others to think of joining in.
Water was a little warm but... what's a sun burn with out enjoying oneself.

So Yay! Small victory.
Every time someone got to the point of try to be offensive I gave a mild glare. ( I think the whole looking a little like gomer pyle from Full Metal Jacket doesn't help )
Then silence.

Apparent the foreman are closing in on " cost wastes & managing the budget ". In other words, looking for people to shit-can.
Since they all know I'm the hardest worker at my patrol I get mad props ( homie-g-thugging.... promise not to do that ever again)
bosses I've never meet walk up and just start talking to me asking questions from my observations in the first year and some odd months about random equipment and vehicles.
I answer truthfully and with a little humor to sugar coat what they obviously don't want to hear and I get cut loose after to hurt my lungs with lovely Marb - Blacks. ( OM NOM NOM )
Great mood, Almost broke but money ain't no thang. ( okay... sorry again. )

Anywho's.

6/23/2011

Sorry again for the long delay on replies guys.
Been working out and busting my 'hump' to stay number one.
This weekend I promise to reply and give long full paragraphs with entertaining stuff.

Until later

- H ( Steven.. I mean I say may name enough who hasn't noticed yet... pfft....)
 
6/24/2011 ( evening. Warning mildly intoxicated )

Well I've had an interesting week.

Got back and the fear of god was left rather evident in co-workers. Just smiled and nodded to a few before going about my daily stuff.
Today was rather interesting to say the least.

Woke up, went to two appointments.

Oil change at 7:30 am.
Doc's @ 9:00 am.

Oil change was quick and out.
Doc office turned into me getting blood work and an STD test for free after asking if I could schedule a vasectomy.
Partly for the reasons of wanting a clean body part and I honestly haven't had a test in a while. Good to stay caught up on those things.
I mean it's not like I've been using it.
October is a long time between laying with the warmth of another.

But I digress. August 12th I'm getting clipped and for some reason I feel weird.
Beyond that drove to wyoming and got fireworks with a bud.
I'm back to wanting to role play. I'll send out posts to every one.

Oh and I had a few beers with a couple of friends on a neighbor's porch before coming home. Weeee.

Now I don't know what people call it, but I'm all sorts of in a good 'mood', vibe, feel, horny...etc.

Thought about saving a few live swimmers on ice but realized I'd have to more then likely keep them in frozen storage. Can only imagine what would happen if someone ate from my freezer and told me they had the 'auteur-pop' from in the back of the freezer.
" Hey, that popcicle was really salty and had a weird taste to it...what flavor was that ?"
" Steven-berry..."
 
Indeed. True words.

6/26/2011.

Oi, It's Okay He'toe, It's okay.
Hear that once a day.

Thankfully since this is my last day off for four days before the fourth of July four day weekend, I believe I'll be trying to get caught up on all the role playing loveliness, laundry and even tracking down my custom truck grill and perhaps picking it up at the Fed-Ex hub... if it's open.

Oh why must my sexual energy be so high?!
Some times it's awesome, others it's one of those things where I'm wondering if it was worth going off on a random adventure.
All I'm going to say is I played Wing-man and show-fur with a guy while wanting something to happen last night.
At a certain point I said ' fuck it' for any chance of 'play' before just chilling while he kept bring up the sexual stuff.
Kinda laughed and just kept driving.

Motley Crue - Kick Start my Heart in a Dodge going about 90 - 100 mph's an hour threw empty stretches of back roads... it's fun.
Going down a hill and hearing 'sky diving naked from an Aero-plane' gets a nice bit of adrenaline.
 
6/28/2011

That's right it's another Tuesday afternoon.

so what did I do today?
I weed-whacked in public, went around my stretch of road in the scorching hot sun. Got told not to smoke next to a natural gas line while jack hammering out concrete around same - said - line.

So where to begin... oh I know, all of your rp'ers are awesome and inspiring.
I know each of your that I bug with my incessant grammar and spelling while trying not to be so perverted or violent or etc. You're all the awesome ones...
Though for those who know how to turn the right knobs while I try for the right switches... holy-cows batman(s).

DA, Still thinking of yah and hoping my recent headaches have been yours instead of you having to go threw them. Sorry the Story kinda died on me. Stuff happens. Perhaps in the future we can continue or start a new one. For what it's worth 8 was the first male character to go so long before trying to bed down the female counter part. Very professional and highly detailed.

Serenity- The punisher story still makes me want to think back to all the military stuff I remember trying to constantly entertain you. And we all know how life can be.

Android Barbie - you go gal. Didn't know dragons could be so sexy... did I type that out loud? Hope the story continues to evolve further.

Cosmic - Last but never least. Your story of someone coming into anther's life and going with the flow has been entertaining to say the least. The whole 'Pay-day' was always turned down or ignored but you went for the one with least amount of definition and turned it into a drama about two people with their own scars.
Kudos !

Alright enough rambling... that's a treadmill... these are my feet.... wooooot !
 
7/4/2011

Yup.
It's the fourth of July.

Enjoy your time everyone and remember,
1776 wasn't the year the country was found, but rather founded.

Have fun, don't blow up to much !
 
7/6/2011

Yup. Awake. Kinda.
Got that feeling of ' Is this me ' going on when looking in a mirror.
Kinda feels good. But need to wake up more.

The most under-rated band ladies and gentlemen!

Clutch.

-
Regulator

( Nice long acoustic play in. )


I see that lantern trimmed low burning in our home.
And though I feel like crying, I swear tonight, I'll cry no more.

And how many times have I prayed
That I would get lost along the way?

Dream with the feathers of angels stuffed beneath your head.
The regulator's swinging pendulum.

Come with me and walk the longest mile.

Is his wallet leather? Is his wallet fat?
For not a year later it's got you lying on your back.
You should have closed your windows and got another dog.
You should have chained up all the doors and switched up all the locks.

And how many times have I prayed
The angels would speed me away.

Dream with the feathers of angels stuffed beneath your head.
The regulator's swinging pendulum.

Come with me and walk the longest mile

( Song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia0HUBWdDkU )

Listen... Don't look... ugh.... lol
 
July / 17/ 2011....
Really? This far along in the month?
Oh wells.

Sorry for taking so long to reply everyone.
had a bit of an interesting weekend.

Well.. short post this time...
Bother all laters.
 
Hello everybody, it's that time again !

No not to dawn our own socks or to attempt an over throw against enemies that wish to remain numerous and unseen.

But rather my random rants in my Daily Dairy.
That's right... it's a less then ever-long journal.

7/18/2011


So my truck as a new grille but it's driver side light is being held on by duct-tape because I'm waiting for a single package which I ordered from Ebay. Yaaaay. Waiting for a used part to come which will more then likely be a card board box with a picture of a light on it filled with rocks and smelling vaguely of piss.

It hit over a hundred fucking degrees in the area I was and the dip-shits at the weather-channel state plainly that it only reached a cool high of 'mid-70's'. I say to thee - sit and spin! -
Well enough ranting. I have a smile on my face because soon I'll be fixed, Chilling my poor 'boys' in a cool lake and sipping something I more then likely shouldn't.
Road trip coming in August from 15th threw possibly the 20th. The Snipping will commence early the morning of the 12th.
Family is all in fear and calling me insane. I say it's the right choice.

My truck hit a deer on the 11th. That's right on 7/11/2011 I hit my first deer with my first brand damn new truck. Oh want to know the words of frustration I have, Look up Lewis C.K. talking about deer. He'll explain how much I hate them. lol

My friends think I'm nutz. Especially after I told them to help wake up in the morning I dance around doing my normal routine to the tune of 'Tangerine Speedo by Caviar. I love the up beat music. Called elevator music by more then one, with a hint of rock and odd choice of lyrics.
For some reason when I hear it, that song just puts a smile on my face and the world isn't so evil or miserable.
Now I rarely listen to it because I fear one day over playing it.

Though it is funny I guess if someone was watching me every other morning when I know my work day is going to suck... Suddenly mindless zombie doing a swing-ish dance around the apartment as if Jim Carey was the director of the music video.

Well that's enough out of my 'hot-pocket' hole.

Laters... Don't be a menace!
 
So it appears the goddesses or gods approve of my existence. I'm still alive !

7/31/11

I'm back !

The nerd with the heart of gold and a body of brawn is still as perverted as ever!

So instead of the usual welcome backs just throw mild or humorous comments towards me.

My little hiatus was partly self inflicted more or less me wanting to try and go out and experiance a little taste of normal life.
Phone is fried, bills payed for August, music is mixed and mind is clear.

Aug 12th is the goal line. That sparkling finish mark where things will be awesome after word.

I've not forgotten those who dared let alone put up with me. I know you want replies. After this journal posting I shall reply as well as work out to keep the creative juices flowing and be up as late as possible. Mildly intoxicated and mildly stupid. But, whatever... I love my role playing partners and wish to keep them happy. A week long absence must have angered some, let alone dropped my sorry tail.

Whatever... I'm here.

Say-La-Vee
live and learn ?
 
8/13/2011

The world is a vampire....
Sent to drain what we got...

Alright everyone one... sorry once again for my absence.
Recently got done with a vasectomy. Oh the pain is still lingering in a sweet manner.
Reminding me that the likely hood of me having children is now growing less and less.

Pain...with out love..
Pain I can't get enough...
I'd rather feel pain then nothing... at all.

So no pills to keep me loopy, No shot in the arm to put me under during the procedure. Just two shots in the sac and the doc started cut and cauterizing. ugh.


All I wanna do is -gunshot gunshot gunshot, cocking hammer noise, before an old cash register sound effect-
...And take all your money.
 
8/13/2011

Looks like another day without making a dollar...

Oh my poor, poor lemon sack.
There's a story behind everything but for now I won't go into details on that one.

Just posting on here to check in with people and see how everyone is doing.
Yes the rumors of me having a little surgery are true, demise... not so much.
Last couple of major hours hurt, but not as bad as getting at un-godly hours to feed little carbon copies of my hellion-self.

So yes... I'm fixed... well I feel I am.
Have to send in a lab 'sample' in a few weeks to make sure the 'pipes are clear'.
So I'm kind of looking forward to getting that out of the way...

Creative juices are flowing so to speak.
Oh the fun I can have in this world and irl.
Of course wrap it for the first few times, wait to find out if woman is clean... then have fun bare.

Enough of that...

How is everyone ?
 
8/14/2011

Alright I will be gone from Monday thru possibly Friday. Hopefully I'll be back before then.
Kinda wanting to get some good quality role playing time in while perhaps managing to entertain as many as possible.

The surgery's pain is almost over and I can't be more thankful I took a few days off on top of using this weekend to get over the pain of having my Vas Def snipped.
Though since the wound isn't perfectly closed I'll have to sit out being able to go into a lake while sitting weary and on guard with a .12 gauge because I'm going to be camping in bear country.

So yes weapons and ammo will be available as well as a new addition... a flare gun. Apparently Wal-mart didn't notice they where selling them until after I got a hold of one. Things burn phosphorous for about 8mins and a charging bear would without a a doubt feel it. Or so I hope.
Last thing I'd want is to be bear chow.
" This guy taste funny to you ?"

So magnum 3" shells with 00 buck and sabot slugs before door breaching rounds and a flare gun. I should be fine... right ?
Paranoia anyone ?

To better things...

visiting family with a friend who's like a surrogate brother staying for the mean time. Weaponry of his own at his disposal.
Who knew a college art student from San Fran would find going and getting lost out in the middle of no where a retreat?
not to mention the fact be willing to go camping some place away from people?
Good guy, Known him for almost 15 yrs and has one of the more unique names ever.

Oh need frozen peas again...

bother everyone sooner then later...

- H (SDGA)
 
The reports of my demise have been some what exaggerated.

8/30/2011

Vasectomy - Check.
Recovery from it - Check.
Back to work - Check.
Visiting friend left - Check.
Family gathering - Check.

Find a female willing to get kinky with new 'blank' features - in progress.

Found out what dub-step was and to be honest I have to say I like skrillex the most so far.
I find myself listening to his 'break-out' song over and over. Titled - Scary monsters and nice sprites.

It makes me want to do evil things while driving my truck and imagine my truck transforming before me and demanding 100 octane every time we go to the pumps.
If not that then smut... but I think about that every few minutes... huh... haven't really seen to much doggy style - finishing position porn in a bit. Kinda tired of anything facial involved. I realized years ago no woman really wants to have a guy cum on her face.
I mean unless you're into mild degradation, ownership, etc.
But when being intimate or close, the favored over all is cuming with your lover at the same time and holding each other.
Perhaps I'm just an over romantic perv. *shrugs*

On to other things... I'm broke... until tomorrow!

So after bills I think I may have just enough money to try and do something with my evil truck.
By the way if you're new or I haven't mentioned it to much, her name is Sally.
She's an evil bitch. I like those for some reason.
After mild non-warranty voiding modifications I managed to take her stock 390 hp up to something a little over 400 brake horse power.
Removed all the emblems from her, rhino-lined a few things on her front after changing out a grill.
Though her time of the month is savage, she does tend to actually kill something before calming down.
Birds, deer, animals in general, I honestly hope no people any time soon. Because dear sweet baby Jesus that would be a lot of money I don't have.
So, Sally.
Why Sally?
Honestly I was messing around with her while driving around randomly to get a feel just days after the big buy and found myself shouting at the large beautiful thing to calm down...and Sally slipped out.
Though I have honestly never known a Sally in my life... so... it's not like I was caught cheating by saying another woman's name in bed...
*side note have never cheated... thought about it but decided not to ever get into a GMC... Sally would kill me *

So in short what is Sally?

a 400-something-horsepower, Dodge ram 1500 with wonderful comfort inside of her while knowing she can run all over the place while wanting to get loud and burn some rubber.
( innuendo not meant but smiling now... )
I love her and she doesn't talk back... I'm not that crazy...yet.
 
9/3/2011

Not entirely sure what's going on with me but it seems to be a good thing. So I'm going to go with the flow like I normally do so...

Back feeling close to blown out as one could be without having holes. ( though side note having to pluck small pieces of various metal from one's neck and shoulders doesn't feel good either. - guess it's good I have excellent scar tissue )

Pulled my back out earlier this week at work and have been using the frozen peas left over from a 'selective' surgery to ice my back. Then After a series of interesting and not entirely fortunate events I'm left feeling like this. Lift and pull, push and twist, moan and sweat - alright - repeat while tightening those muscles you know give you a dirty smirk.

Think what you will but I'm sure I'm not to bad... or am I ?

Creative juices flowing.
Had another zombie dream where all the clothing and digital camo portions of my uniform where altered and custom sown so I'd have more pockets and light weight objects then anything else. Dump pouches for items I could find while moving, while having a pistol and bandoleer style satchels. Even on the criss-crossed straps where pockets with alice-clips keeping those and more on my over vest. Which only had a front and back plate for bullet proofing.
I kept moving running and trying my best to simply keep momentum from the slow creeping hordes of undead.
My head wear was my old Barret. I hate the damn hat yet every time I looked into a mirror at my self I started to smile about how things had got to this point.
Where was I ?
Suburbia. Running from empty street to house then back to streets. The sun made the undead almost angry and hurt their eyes yet as I went from place to place I rarely used my gun, preferring to use local objects in case of the undead. Even old lady - sowing or crow-shay needles.
In and out of windows, up stairs. Using my brain and environment against the mostly slow and unending in numbers creatures.
Into an attic, out the window after cutting the folding ladder off with a flat tipped knife. Once on the 'eaves' of the old house I'd see what roof or surface was close enough before making a dead sprint to it and throwing myself in threw another open window. All I'd manage is to get the window forced open to a bigger size and myself in a bed full of decomposing maggots.
Apparently that family gathered together in the master bed room and suicide via- brain transplanting to the floor, thanks to dad's .44 mag.
Collecting the gun and the little ammo left out I'd stuff the murder weapon into a pocket before quickly going threw drawers and breathing heavily.
My task was simple but it wasn't one that people would enjoy, yet it was needed.
Supply gatherer. Fast as possible...
Of the things in dreams we know of as facts or people come and go as we dream and forget, what I remember was I was angry with myself but some what happy and proud of being able to run as much as I could. I had given up smoking but hated how distant I was with those back at the little compound sanctuary the group we had set up - mainly a few females I knew had something of the hots for me. But part of my own excuse was I didn't want to end up chow and leave anyone sobbing over the few things I had in my little area where my cot sat.
So instead I just typically would come back and hand off supplies that I had.
Yet that's what drove me. Collect valuables, things that could keep starvation off another day. Things like hygiene items which would do the family no good but the few I cared about a little bit more comfort then knowing that hordes of flesh hungry humans turned zombie now roamed their homes and world.
So I ran from level to level of any home that had the least amount of zombies near and continued frantically and with little detail to how lost and further away from the compound I got.
But the best part was it didn't matter thanks to the fact I knew it was towards the mountains. If ever lost head back that direction until things got familiar.
So I did.

Down side was all routes after dark became packed like a Turkish bizarre. shoulder to shoulder with undead hungry mild-less, rotting creatures which only drove me from one adrenaline filled moment of barely getting a door or window open before barricading myself some place long enough to throw myself out a window again. Always looking for a way out while striving to kill as many as I could.

When I finally got back to the single rope bridge back to the only entrance of the compound I managed to get onto the high wall where many guys with guns that I felt I knew waited for me. Instantly it was time to start stripping and show I have no bites. If even one portion or bruise was unable to be properly explained, and believed It'd be one in the head before over the side of the wall and into the grips of the hungry hordes below.
It'd be then that I'd see those that I had been fighting for coming close during my clean bill of health. But I woke up just as I'd hand over the first roll of toilet paper to the slow growing mob of people.


Well there's a story.
Perhaps I could be the next S. King?
Nah I'd rather have Dean Koontz endorse me. What can I say... there's a difference between writing one's nightmares and making a story out of it.

Oh well... thoughts ?
 
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