^ A Scottish Fusilier walks into an Edinburgh apothecary and strides up to the counter. He produces a well-worn rubber and says he'd like to have it vulcanized. The wary pharmacist dons a pair of neoprene gloves and, with a pair of forceps, picks up the prophylactic and examines it. Stretched woefully out of shape, it has holes and bulges all over it. "My God, man, we can do that - but it'd cost, surely, thirty pounds - and you can get three for a quid and have change coming!" The soldier takes back the condom and says, "I need to have a conversation", and leaves. The next day he returns and is served by the same pharmacist. He looks him square in the eye and solemnly says, "The Rrregiment has voted to purchase another!" ^