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Anger Management (Scotty's Journal and General Bitch-Rant Corner)

Scotty Rage

Scotty Rage

Supernova
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Location
Acworth, GA
Okay, so I've been saying I might start one of these, so here it is. Tonight I'm going to go with the subject of my recent absence. Life has come at me hard and heavy as of late, and I'm still trying to get caught up. It hasn't necessarily been a bad thing, but it has been busy. I apologize to folks that have been left hanging by me on role-plays, and I promise as soon as I can, and once my muse comes back from vacation, I'll get some replies out to you all. In the meantime, bear with me.

Now onto my next subject. I'm really missing my girl right now. Our schedules have been one huge conflict as of late, and it's taking its toll. I support what she's doing one-hundred percent, don't get me wrong. She's in school, trying to better herself, and I fully encourage her to do so, even when it takes time away from us being together. It doesn't mean I don't get a little mopey from time to time over it, though. I can't help it, but I manage through it.

Finally, my other friends. I miss all of you as well. I wish I'd have had more time to spend with you, especially with my baby so tied up with her school work, but unfortunately I've been tied up with my own personal things to deal with as of late, and it's severely limited my online time to a few minutes a day here and there, or an hour if I'm lucky. And in that hour I'm usually too tired to write replies or even check out the chat, so I just check for activity on my friends recently in the OOC forums and pop in a comment here and there when one comes to me. I still love you guys, and I'm still very much alive. Just give me time.

I guess that's it for this edition. Tune in next time where we'll see how the Scotty is holding up if things continue as they have. :p In all seriousness, though, I'm okay guys. Alive and well. Well, alive anyway. I'm working on sorting things out and getting back into the fray with you all. Until then, I'm only ever a message away.

Love you all.

Scotty
 
*hugs you*
Well, we all miss you heaps! And I fully get how it can be when you're LD and schedules conflict. You guys will make it through that and come out that much stronger. In the mean time, good luck with the rl stuff and we'll all be here for you when you're able to interact more.

MISS YOU! <3
 
I miss you tons babe and you'll never know how much I truly appreciate the support you give me. It's weird that the support happens to be in way of understanding when I can't be around, but regardless, it's what I need right now to get my stuff done. I will be glad when we are together all the time and don't have to worry about missing each other. Until then, know I love you unconditionally and feel so lucky to have a good man like you. Hopefully this week will allow us some time together. You're my everything. <3
 
Life comes first Scotty and your friends understand that, myself included. When things ease up, definitely get vocal again and annoy the heck out of us :p In the meantime, concentrate on the more important stuff going on for you right now and relax when you can. Things will work out in whatever way they were supposed to work out; just might take a few meandering turns along the way. You're strong enough to handle whatever is thrown at you though.

Oh, and because I was seriously worried that your ego was going to explode from all the positive poll results, I just had to be the ass in the crowd and vote "Scotty? Who the hell is Scotty?". Gotta keep you grounded and all that :p
 
So, likely not gonna be around much this weekend, and apologies for having been scarce up until now. Life has been kind of hectic. And now I have a kid with a double ear infection and a bad fever. Just got back from the hospital, got a prescription for him, and will be pretty tied up with tending to him over the weekend. All part of being a parent though. It's a fun ride usually, but it has its bumps.

I'll try to check in at some point.

To my girls, love y'all, and miss you very much!
 
We've all been missing you, Scotty. But we all also understand how real life can be. As a parent myself, I definitely get how parenthood can call you away. I hope your son gets better soon. And don't worry. We'll all be here waiting with open arms when you're able to fully come back! :)

<3
 
I missed talking to you by like ten minutes. Lame.

Sorry to hear that the kiddo is in rough shape. Make sure he doesn't mess with his ears and that he takes his prescriptions on time. Ear infections are no fun.

Miss you too. Hope things get less hectic.
 
So, it was a lovely weekend. I say these words dripping with sarcasm, of course, as it was anything but. I won't go into an overabundance of detail, but let's just say it was less than pleasant overall. Anyway, getting to the point.

As of late I find myself wondering about a few things. I don't think I ask much of anyone, if at all. I've always more or less prided myself on being this person who can manage on his own, and for the most part I have been. I can't help but question some things in my life right now, though, and wonder if maybe I'm being too needy about some things.

Once again, I won't bore anyone with details. These are just the ramblings of someone who is severely stressed out and feeling somewhat insecure and forgotten at the moment. Maybe it's an overreaction. Who knows? Whatever the case is, I can't help it. I suppose I'm more human than I like to let people think sometimes, and right now I'm just in need of some form of reassurance from certain people and getting nothing, even though I try to communicate regularly.

It's possible I'm just paranoid. I haven't exactly been the most accessible person as of late myself, but I've tried to keep communications open at least, though it seems like for the most part it's a one-way street. I keep my heart and mind open to the possibility that I'm wrong, though, and that I'm just feeling the effects of loneliness. Here's to hoping I'm right about that.
 
I'm the luckiest man alive. *sighs contently* Just had to get that out of my system. :p

Should be getting a bit more active soon. Need sleep now, though, so night folks.
 
So, in two days I'll be conspicuously absent for about a month...

Unfortunately I have to spend thirty days behind bars because of a fine I was unable to pay in time due to setbacks in my personal and professional life. It's the only way I can have it cleared before my deadline is up next month, so I made a deal. It sucks, but it's only a month, then I'm completely in the clear at least after that. I'll miss all the friends I've made here, and think about you guys often while I'm in there, and I hope a few of you will miss me too.

This is why I've been so inactive as of late, so I can prepare and make arrangements for my mother to be taken care of, since my brother, sister, and nephew are all about as reliable as a turnip, and have the common sense to match, and can't get over themselves and their own immediate wants long enough to care. I did manage to get a friend to agree to look in on her while I'm gone, so at least that's one worry off my mind.

To my girlfriend, Daisy, whom I very much love and adore, please don't be upset with me. Unfortunately this is something I have no choice in. It's just a cruel twist of fate that I have to be without you, but I hope you can be patient enough with me to stick it out. And to our girlfriend, Hahvy, I know it sucks. I've been made fully aware of that fact. You and Daisy keep each other strong for me, okay? I'm sorry you both have to suffer through this, but at least you have the freedom to find things to occupy yourselves, so if you ever get to feeling like it's hard on you, just remember it sucks way more from my end. :p

Finally, don't worry about me. I'm a big boy, and I'll be fine. Food's not absolutely horrible, they have a library, and TV, so yeah, I suppose I'll survive with something to read, a decent workout schedule, and the occasional show at night. You guys have all been wonderful to me, almost like a second family, and I thank you all for having made me feel so welcome and at-home here. I'll be back before you know it. Of course feel free to leave the occasional comment here while I'm gone if you miss me. :D It'd be something nice to come back to.

So, on that note, I'll likely be busy through tomorrow preparing, and come Friday I'll be gone for a month, so I'll say my goodbyes now. At least it's only temporary and you know I'll be back. It doesn't make it not suck, but at least it sucks a little less than so many other possibilities. And on a positive note, it's a month that my family and my ex can't drive me nuts, so it's more like a vacation. :p

On a final note, I apologize for not giving people more notice on this. I know two days isn't much for folks to get used to the idea, but I'm afraid I was pretty tied up trying to get my affairs in order, making sure my mother and son would be cared for in my absence, which took first priority to me. In these last two days I've found time to breathe, so I hope you all can forgive me for springing this so close to the day...

Peace all.

PS: Baby, I love you and will miss you so very much!
 
Maybe ZG. We'll see. Either way I'm prepared to spend the full 30 if I have to. I've been preparing myself for it for the last week. As a matter of fact, I think I'll be kind of peeved if I go in there tomorrow and they tell me there's some sort of delay and I have to wait an extra couple of days, just because I've been prepping myself for Friday. :p

Anyway, I suppose this is my last post for thirty days, so I'll see you guys again in a month...
 
I wish I'd known about this thread sooner. I know you probably won't be able to even check it until you get back, but please know that I miss you too, and not hearing from you has been weird. I assumed it was just life getting in the way, but the last time we actually exchanged words was after your accident, so I've been kind of worried ever since. I haven't forgotten you, and I hope you haven't forgotten me either.

It sucks that you have to go through that, and I hope that the time passes quickly from now til then. I hope when you get back I'll get to talk to you again. I miss our little chats. BTW, maybe change the link in your sig to this thread--since you post in it more than the one about absences. I miss you, friend.
 
I very much appreciate the comments, guys, but I'm not going in after all. It turned out I needed a swift kick in the ass from the girls who care about me most, and I reconsidered just rolling over for these guys on something I should have never had to deal with in the first place, so instead of giving them the satisfaction, I chose to stand up for myself and told them I'll take my chances in front of the judge next month to state my case and explain my situation. Apparently my PO agreed that was the best course for me, but I had to come to that decision myself. He'll be backing me up next month, so that works in my favor at least. I think he may have been subtly steering me in this direction all along since he took over my case, which would make him the first decent PO I've ever known since most just want to lock people up instead of doing what they're supposed to and trying to keep people out of jail. In his words though, "A lot of people belong in there, but you're not one of them." Let's hope he can help me convince the judge of that too...

It might be a stupid move, but it might be the right move as well. It's a gamble, I know, but one worth taking. I was railroaded from the start in this situation, and for a long time I played along when perhaps I should have been fighting back. Some things my dear friend said the other night when told about this had me thinking about it, and my absolutely wonderful girlfriend who I will forever love for not just accepting that I would take the easy way out and therefore not be true to myself sealed the deal today with what she had to say to me.

To my girlfriend and our closest friend, I owe you both my undying gratitude for refusing to accept it, and in the end making me refuse as well. Thank you. There are indeed times when your loved ones know what's in your best interest better than you do, and refusing to support your decisions is the right thing for them to do. So as it goes, I'm rolling the dice and seeing how this all turns out next month. At the worst I'm here for at least another month, and at best this will be settled for good and the slate cleaned for me in a month, meaning I'll be around for considerably longer. So let's see what happens...

Love you Baby. Thanks for slapping some sense into me today.
 
I'm glad to hear that you're standing up for yourself. You're a good person, and I believe that you can convince anyone of that without trying very hard. *hugs* Take care of yourself, and good luck with your case! I'll see you around.
 
I wanted to give an apology to those who were waiting for me to come back and write some more, but I'm afraid that my return to regular activity might be delayed a few more days.

I learned yesterday that a longtime friend who has been battling cancer finally succumbed and passed away. She was younger than me and left a daughter behind, and the news of her passing has greatly saddened me. There's a wake for her tomorrow, though there will be no showing of the body as she wanted to be cremated and didn't want to be viewed due to all the weight she had lost in recent months. When something like this happens it makes a person stop and consider their own mortality. As I said, this person was younger than me by a couple of years, so it really got me thinking, life is this fragile thing that we take for granted all the time, and can be snatched away at a moment's notice.

Maybe I'm just waxing philosophical because of losing a friend. She was a great person, always so full of life and outgoing, and to see her end come like this just crushes me. I feel even worse because with my own life having gotten so hectic and having gotten caught up in the events around me, I haven't seen or spoken to her in a while, and now she's not there to talk to. I guess that's the worst part of it. You expect someone to be around, and then one day they just aren't there anymore. That was always the hardest thing about my dad's passing. It's been four years, and I think I still haven't gotten used to him not being around. I find myself forgetting he's gone sometimes, particularly after having a dream where he is alive and well and then waking up. Sometimes it takes a few minutes for reality to set in, and in those few minutes I forget he's not there, and it only makes it more crushing when I realize the truth.

Don't get me wrong. I came to terms with my father's passing a long time ago, but I still miss having him around. Now I go to say goodbye to yet another person who was a part of my life for a time. We were never romantically involved, but she was always a good friend, and I'll miss her dearly. Life goes on, though, and those of us who are still gifted with it have to live it. That's why I don't mourn a person's death, but I celebrate their life instead when they pass.

When my time comes, I hope that is what people will do for me as well, celebrate my life rather then grieve for my passing, and I hope that by the time I die, I will have lived a life worth celebrating...
 
It's all right to do both--celebrate and mourn. In fact, the two would probably go hand in hand. *hugs* I'm sorry for your loss. But at least now she's not suffering. Take care of yourself, hun. And if you ever need to talk, I'm an awfully good listener. *nods*
 
Thank you both so much. Baby, I love you, always, and just knowing you're there is enough to make me feel better. I am truly blessed to have you and Hahvy in my life, and I'll never stop counting those blessings.

So on an unrelated note...wow. The storms that hit between here and Mississippi last night were devastating, yet somehow, even though everything around me was absolutely decimated, my area was unharmed. I have to believe there's some reason for that, and I don't dare question my good fortune for it when all I have to do is drive five miles in any direction from my house and see the destruction these storms caused.

Someone is looking out for us here on the lake I guess...
 
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