Patreon LogoYour support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)

A Simple Crushed Daisy

DrivingMissDaisy

DrivingMissDaisy

Super-Earth
Joined
Aug 28, 2010
I've been thinking of starting a journal for a long time on here so I'll go ahead and give it a shot. I know I don't really have time to maintain it so don't expect too much. Some of you know me very well and others not so well. Those that know me may be shocked by some of my inner thoughts and inner rational, and those that don't then you may just think I'm some sort of crazy (only the best sort, of course).

I find myself on a short fuse lately. A lot of people that normally wouldn't crawl under my skin finding there way there in record time. I can tell my emotional investment in Blue Moon as a community has gone way up when I let silly people that in the scheme of things don't matter at all matter to me. Not that I think of the irritants when I leave the computer and carry IRL, b/c I don't. Though I do take those of you that I have come to hold dear with me in my day to day.

I have a lot to do today, super bowl Sunday is always a fun day and hopefully this year won't be any different. My one and only ex boyfriend from high school (way back when) and I met at a super bowl party back when we were kiddos so we always exchange a few words back and forth today. Sometimes it's the only day a year we ever talk. We live two very very different lives now but sometimes it's nice to know that those people that were once a part of our lives still think of us every now and then.

I have a paper that I was supposed to write this weekend by for some reason a memo on restrictive covenants just isn't sparking my interest. I will regret it this week when I have to hammer it out due to my stupid procrastination. This semester has been tough to get back into the grove of things for whatever reason. I think it's just a lot more work and a lot more stress with trying to find an internship this summer. Though I did buy the most beautiful suit yesterday. I'm super excited to get to wear it if I get interviews. I know I know, you're supposed to get the interview and then the suit but I got a little ahead of myself when it looked so nice!

I haven't talked to my baby like I usually do the past couple of days. Sometimes our lives tend to not line up like we would like, causing us to miss each other when we do have a little bit of free time. This can become frustrating and makes me kind of whiney. Hopefully we'll be back on some what of the same schedule soon.

Ok...off to get some things done. Thanks for reading my first entry you cyber darlings. <3
 
It's nice to see you making one of these. And I know what you mean about emotional investment. Mine is insanely high for this place and several of the wonderful people I've met here. Yourself included. :)
 
Always good to get a peek of the inner workings of new friends. Here's to your college semester and finding time for your boy!
 
I know our schedules have been kind of conflicting the last couple of days, but know that I am always thinking about you, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. I love you, and not a minute passes that I don't have a thought of you, even if just a simple thing such as how you would like a joke I heard. Life gets hectic sometimes, but it's how we handle it that makes us who we are, and you have always been one of the strongest women I know. We'll make it through everything as long as we keep trying.

I love you, and am always here for you. All you ever have to do is reach out to me.
 
Thanks for all the posts. Keep'em coming. I hearby invite any rendition of any Jackson Five song via comments.

Just a quickie this morning (not literally, don't get too excited). I didn't get most of my reading done so I'm up at 6 in the morning trying to hack through estates cases from the 1800. My life is so exciting sometimes. Thank God for coffee or I would be a useless puddle of sleep deprived goo. I keep thinking about the Darius Rucker song, "it wont be like this for long..." when I feel downtrodden about the immense amount of work I have to do on a weekly basis. It will still be like this, mind you, but at least the foundation of my knowledge will be laid and I won't have to worry about cases from the 1800.

Anyway...I have a couple of thoughts. First, I was thinking the other day that sometimes we forget how incredibly blessed we are. I have a home, a family, an awesome dog, and an opportunity that many people will never have in order to empower myself for the rest of my life w/ an advanced degree. In the day to day grind, we get lost in the details sometimes and forget how beautiful the things and moments around us really are. Remember that today when you feel blue, I think I will too.
 
Sorry about the quick leave last night, hon. Was just dealing with stuff that I wasn't sure how to talk about. However, I'm all right. <3 No need to worry! Miss you! Have a good day. <3
 
Sometimes I miss having someone around to take care of me. Being fiercely independent has its downsides.
 
My hope is posting a quick entry here will help my mind and fingers continue to type through the rest of this memo. My time is running short on submitting a rough draft but the truth is, it's going to be a very rough draft. This week has been brutal. I am running on maybe 6 hours of sleep over the past couple of nights and whenever I do this my emotions become difficult to control. I need to find a way to push those tears away and keep focussed on the hand at task. This coming from the most ADD person ever. It's difficult for me to know all of my friends are just a message away but I need to keep doing what I'm doing. I am such a perfectionist that I write a sentence then erase, then write, then erase. It doesn't help that my client's case is weak at best. Fuck.

I also found out an application I put in last week got straight up denied. No interview. Just a letter in the mail telling me I'm wonderful but not for them. God dammit. I didn't need that today. It's ruined the rest of my day completely. I need to be so productive but it's so hard to be when I'd rather be doing a million other things than what I should be doing. I can feel myself ticking closer and closer to the first emotional break down of the semester (several a semester are normal, no worries) but it's such an overwhelming feeling. It makes you question your motives, your intelligence, and your abilities. I am so good at seeming so put together but sometimes I feel like I am tearing apart at the seams. I know I signed up for this and I know I will get through it but right now I'm tired and my face is breaking out. And I ate three slices of pizza today that I just feel sick about. I have had to totally skip zubma this week but got in 16 miles at spinning yesterday and am determined to go to spinning tomorrow too. I have to or I might explode...or implode.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I have 25 minutes and am not even half way done. Am I ever going to achieve the goals that I've worked so hard to get to? And even if I do, will I even like it? Will I ever really be happy and satisfied? I doubt it. Seriously. I doubt it. I am so jealous of free time. Women are such roller coasters. Yesterday on the way to the gym, I just started crying for no reason. My friend Ashley though acted like it was totally normal and I think it probably is. I'm just under so much stress it comes out in weird weird ways. Like my face breaking. Gross. I have to go, if only I could write this memo like I can write these journal entries.
 
Hey, darling. Just a little message for you.

I know how stressful like can be. And it's okay to cry and just let it out. It helps sometimes to just let the emotions take their course until you feel better. It can totally suck, but it does help. I'm always here if you need to just vent it all out. You can call me whenever/whatever time if you get overwhelmed. Just take your time some days so you won't feel so pressured and pressed to get everything done.

Sometimes doing work while watching a funny movie makes it easier.

<3

Love you.
 
I know how it is to feel like life is closing in around you, my love. It's hard to breathe sometimes because it can all seem so unfair, and everything seems to take a turn south all at once. What I know, though, is you're one of the strongest women I know. You were right when you said you'll get through it, but remember, you're not alone. I am never more than a message away, or a call even, as well as Hahvy and everyone else. We love you and are more than happy to step up when you need it to give you some emotional support.

I'm going to support you by giving you the space you need to finish your tasks, but just remember that all you have to do is leave me a message when you need me and I'll be right there as soon as I get it. I'm right here to say something funny, or sweet, to talk about the things that bother you, or just to talk about a whole lot of nothing. Whatever it takes to lift your spirits, I'm here to do it. You're never alone.

I love you so much, baby. I'm right here.
 
Thank you for the sweet comments. Each one made me smile and I appreciate very much the support that you all give me. So, I'm spending today trying to wrap up this paper I've been slaving over the past few days. I have everything pretty well planned out, the pain in the ass part is just going back and re-writing and editing and adding in citations (yuck). I also have about 100 pages of reading for Monday so I'll have to hack through that at some point. I forget what it's like to have a weekend with no work.

I just ordered Valentine's flowers for my Mom. It just occurred to me that since my step-dad passed away in November, she will have no one to send her any flowers. I got her favorites, she adores anything that is purple so I hope the place makes them look really nice for her. I have a feeling it may be a rough day for her. I hate that my schedule rarely allows me time to make it over there and hang out. Hopefully the flowers will make it a little brighter for her.

I just watched Jersey Shore from last week and it was such a sad one. I love trash TV. It is a complete guilty pleasure of mine and it gets my mind away from the heavy stuff for just 30 minutes to an hour a couple times a week. Anyway, on this Jersey Shore, Sam and Ronnie had their last big fight and she was just completely broken. Broken enough to have to leave the environment for a while and get better. I think it's so sad when people break up, not because they don't love each other, but because they just can't make it work. It's like there's something about their life or their personalities that will always clash at a level that is not fixable. I've had those relationships and I would never wish that heart break on anyone. Even my worst enemy. It makes you feel like you can't even breath. Like you don't want to die but you want to go to sleep and just not wake up for a very long time. Anyway, it was a sad episode and brought back some of those memories. I'm glad that's in the past.

I'm going to head over to Starbucks for a while, get a coffee, kick back in my sweatpants and tank and try to work on this paper more. I need a change in environment. I'm tired of looking at the same four walls. I did sleep in today for those of you that were worried about my lack of sleep. I guess my body needed recovery b/c I didn't stir until like 11 this morning. Alright, I'm off. Peace out cub scouts.
 
Couple of things:

9 hours until this bitch is due. 2 pages left. I'll be so fucking glad when it's over.

I miss my boyfriend very much today.

I'm horny.
 
DrivingMissDaisy said:
Couple of things:

9 hours until this bitch is due. 2 pages left. I'll be so fucking glad when it's over.

I miss my boyfriend very much today.

I'm horny.
Click to expand...

Awww, honey. He misses you too. ^_^

I really have to learn to stop referring to myself in the third person...

Love you!
 
Submitted at 11:49 with 6 minutes to spare. *Falls over in pure exhaustion*

*Gets back up and goes to read 100 pages for tomorrow*
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom