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Morals Or Sin [Hahvy x Scotty Rage]

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Hahvoc The Decepticon

Singularity
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
It'd been three years since she'd been standing on American Soil. Three years since she had said good bye to her parents and left to fight a war she didn't truly believe in. Three years since she had even caught a glimpse of her half-brother, half hidden behind a door as he spoke to her mother. He had seemed upset with her call to duty. But orders were orders. She hadn't been able to ignore them just to keep the peace within her family. The problem was, the peace had been fragile at best. Especially with being unable to keep their family together. She was the youngest of the two by about ten years, the age different due to their father's affair with her mother and the following divorce and marriage that followed. It still struck her as odd and wrong, but then she wouldn't have a half-brother, now would she?

When was the last time she had even gotten a good look at him? It had to have been years beyond her absence. Probably a good five years at best. His mother hated her, so she was very fickle with them even casually meeting and her job kept her away on orders a lot. Thinking of him as she exited the airport to hitch a cab, she felt almost lost. She didn't feel right exactly with being home. It was foreign in a way that gave her chills. Her nightmares had made sure of that. But now she was home and had been taken off active duty from the army due to an injury that had crippled her career as a soldier. She could still do desk work, but she figured she would cut her own eyes out before that happened. She just wasn't a desk work kind of gal. So going to college had been her only option.

Dumping her luggage into the trunk without help from the driver, she hopped into the back seat and gave him directions to her friends house. Her family knew she was back, but she needed some space and told them that she would see them in about a day or so. She had to adjust to the time difference and also being unemployed for the time being. She wasn't hurting for money since she didn't own a house or a car or anything, but she would have to find a place soon and a job. She would sign up at the school her brother taught at, figuring it would make it easier to see him since she would have to be there and so would he. She would avoid taking his class since they were siblings and she didn't want to be given favoritism- even if that wasn't how he taught.

The cab drive to her friend's ranch house had seemed quicker than she expected and it made her jump when the cabby asked for his money. Forking over the cash, she got out and slammed the door shut, pulling her luggage out of the trunk and hauling it across the gravel driveway to the front door. A letter had been taped to the front door.

"Ashlin, the key is under the last step on the left side. The house is yours while I'm gone. Just don't break anything. - Sam

With a sigh, Ashlin, took the note, found the key and opened up the door. Looking inside at the normalcy of it all made her want to scream. But her psychologist had said that she needed time to accept what had happened over there. Eventually, she would be all right. As she shut the door and took in the room, she thought eventually was a long ways off.

"I'm home and already need a vacation."

She huffed to no one.
 
Two years. That's how long it had been since his wife had decided to take off to live her live of 'adventure' and forsake her relationship and responsibilities. He hadn't heard a thing from her since. The divorce was finalized without contest since she couldn't be found. It took him some time to get over, but he eventually did pull himself together. Now, along with his seventeen year old son, he was doing much better. He and Jessica had been married right out of high school, and Seth had been born shortly after graduation. Jess and his family had encouraged him to follow through with his plans to go into the service, even though he had a child on the way, so he did.

During his enlistment, he served in the early days of the conflict in the Middle East after the fall of the World Trade Center. His last tour ended after he had spent a year in the war zone, and he continued his education, having been enrolled in college while in the service before the war started. He had gotten his Bachelor's degree, and after his discharge he went for his Master's and his PhD in English Literature. He had then gotten work at a good school as a professor, where he now taught still. Life seemed to be going well. He and his son were close, and everything was working out. He hadn't agreed with his half-sister's decision to go into the service, but she was a grown woman, so he couldn't stop her. He had been in the war zone and seen what it did to people, and didn't want her to have to experience it, but she left anyway. And then she was called to duty overseas, which infuriated him, but he was helpless to stop it.

Despite the fact that they had different mothers and didn't often see each other growing up, she was still his family and he had simply wanted to look out for her. That was three years ago. A year after his sister departed for the Middle East, Jessica left, citing that she had never had the opportunity to be young because of Seth. She wanted to be wild and free, she had said, to feel alive. He tried to talk her out of it, offering to do whatever it took to help her experience the life she never had, even considering quitting his career so they could have their life of adventure. That wasn't enough for her, though. She had been having an affair by then, and had already made her choice to leave. Now he had heard she was coming home, though she wasn't staying with the family. She had suffered an injury in the service and had been given a medical discharge, so was going to be attending school at his university. He wasn't sure when he'd get to see her, but he hoped it would be before she was enrolled at least so he could spend time with her as family and not just as a student.

At first it was hard on him, though Seth managed to help him keep it together. His son was already quite a strong young man, even at the age of fifteen. He was honestly the one who had helped him make it through everything. Now Seth was about to graduate high school and would be headed for college soon after. He was proud of his son, and happy to have seen him grow into a fine young man, but he would soon be alone again.

Mason hadn't dated since Jess left, instead putting himself into his work at the university. He was approached, of course, and solicited by several women, even some of his students. He was, after all, a very attractive and intelligent man, with thick, dark hair that he had grown out a little in recent years, and bright blue eyes that seemed to pierce the soul. He usually had a touch of beard stubble, not always having time to take a razor to his face, but it only added to his appeal in the eyes of many, giving him a ruggedly handsome charm.

His last class of the day was ending, and after getting everything in order, he finally left the school grounds, climbing into his car and starting it. He had long ago gotten rid of the SUV in favor of a classic GTO that he had purchased and restored in his free time, which had kept his mind off of Jessica. The car now looked as if it had just rolled off the assembly line, and ran beautifully. He had put a lot of blood and sweat into it, but the rumble of that engine was always so soothing to him. Leaving the school parking lot, he started the drive toward his house to get cleaned up before heading to his father's, where the family was supposed to get together for dinner to welcome Ashlin home. He couldn't help but wonder how much she'd been changed as he drove along silently, listening to the radio.
 
At first, the silence of the house hadn't bothered her. She had kept herself occupied by making sure the house was secured and no intruders would be around the property. It had been drilled into her head and so now it was a reflex to be positive she was safe. Being alert and observant had always been her strong suits anyways. But then the silence had started to drive her crazy, like a tiger locked into a large cage. It may have had the space she could handle, but it was still a cage that was slowly making her twitchy. Tossing her luggage into her room, she thought about unpacking now, but knew she wasn't going to sleep and would wait until later. There were other things to deal with at the moment. Stepping outside the ranch house, Ashlin combed her fingers through her black hair, her green-blue eyes searching the green landscape for signs of life. The whinny of a horse caught her attention and she walked around the back to the barn. She had almost forgotten about Sam's two horses and as she approached, they stomped their feet in impatience. They sniffed her hands and hair, trying to nibble on the strands and she smiled. They still remembered her, even after all these years.

"Hold on, guys. I'll get you fed."

She located their food and went about depositing it into their stalls, knowing that Sam had only left this morning so they didn't need their stalls mucked out due to the fresh sawdust on the floor. She wouldn't have to clean them for a few days and that made her grateful to her friend. When she and Sam had talked, he had said that Tomas, his partner, and he would be out of town. He had taken Tomas with him on his business trip that would also be a vacation so he'd be gone for roughly two weeks or so. He said he could always come back sooner if she needed help, but she had told him to stay away. He worked too hard, she thought. As the horses munched happily on their food, she watered them before she left them alone for the rest of the day. She'd let them out after dinner for a midnight spree around the field. The open space was freeing and yet suffocating. She didn't really know how to deal with it all. Noting that it was after three and dinner was at five, and the drive to her father's was about an hour, she sighed and slipped back into the house to change her clothes and take a shower.

The shower was the best thing she could have asked for. She could have stayed under the spray of multiple shower heads for hours, but soon relinquished the comfort. Feeling human again, she wrapped her hair in a towel and tossed open her suitcases. Eyes searched for the right outfit for dinner, but she really wasn't sure what to wear. Should she dress in just jeans and a shirt or something a little more casual? It was warm enough out for a skirt and so she donned her black jean skirt that hit mid-thigh, a white studded belt to contrast, and stood half naked to figure out a shirt. She almost forsake underwear, but she wasn't in the desert anymore or required to wear her camo, so she put on a pair of blue hipsters and a bra to match. Her scars were visible all over her back and down one side of her torso- the result of a bomb exploding and she being close enough to get burn-scars and shrapnel in her back. After two months of physical therapy, they found she wasn't as strong or capable as she had been so she'd been discharged. It still stung her pride.

Finally, her eyes settled on a dark gray top with black and blue designs of nothing special. It hugged her frame, but not so much that it would show how even the skin of her back was now. It was just what she needed to hide the damage that had been done. Her parents knew about it, but they hadn't seen the scars. She didn't want them to ever see the scars. Taking a breath so she didn't have a flashback, she put her hand to her eyes and focused on what her therapist had said - soft soothing music. Pachelbel's Cannon flowed through her mind and kept her grounded as she put on her sneakers and headed out the door, grabbing the pair of keys Sam had left behind. She wasn't sure what kind of car he was driving these days and the sight that waited for her in the garage stole her breath. It was a camaro. A classic 1969 black and white camaro- her dream car. She almost started crying at the sight of it, but settled for running her fingers along the smooth paint job. There was another note. Sam was a fan of notes.

"Ashlin, the car is in your name, but you'll have to pay me back for it since I know you would have killed me if it was free. I expect payments when you get a job so just take your time. Enjoy the ride, she purrs like a kitten. Welcome home, darling. Love, Sam."

"I could kill you, you wonderful asshole."

She murmured, almost choking on the words. A car. He'd bought her a car. And as she held the note, she realized there was more written on the back from Tomas. She blinked at the words but smiled softly.

"Stay safe, Spitfire. We love you. - Tomas."

She still didn't allow herself to cry. It didn't feel real to come home and have a car that was hers. She'd had to sell her old camaro and apartment when she'd been called overseas since she had decided to do two tours. Seeing this back in her possession, better than her old one, was like a dream. A dream that threatened to bring the nightmares forward. But she wasn't weak. She wasn't going to break down. Hopping into the driver's seat, she put it into first gear and turned over the engine, grinning in delight as it roared to life. Changing it into second, she pulled out of the garage and drove, music blaring as she left some of herself behind.
 
Once he arrived at home, Mason was out of the car and into the house quickly, wasting little time. He only had an hour and a half or so to get ready and be at his parents for dinner, and the drive was nearly an hour. As he reached his bedroom, he began to shed his clothes, making his way into the master bathroom to turn the shower on. Aside from his Ranger tattoo, the only other identifying marks on his body were the scars of various combat experiences while in the service. This was why his last term in the service wasn't a full term, otherwise he would have had three under his belt.

Running up his thigh was a pair of bullet wounds, though this had only put him down for a short time. The most visible markings were along his chest and abdomen and wrapped around to his lower back, shrapnel from a land mine that his convoy had driven over. He had been the only survivor of that explosion, and it almost took away his ability to walk, just centimeters away from severing his spinal cord, not to mention some had been lodged near his heart, but thankfully was able to be extracted. The only thing that had saved his life that day was the fact he hadn't been secured to the vehicle and had been thrown clear.

After a long recovery, he had been given his discharge orders. Instead of fighting it, he chose to continue his education. His brush with death had been too close, and he had no desire to make his son an orphan or his wife a widow, so he instead finished grad school. This had been the primary reason for his opposition to Ashlin going off to war, and now she had suffered in a similar fashion. It was almost ironic, really. He was one of those lucky few who was able to move on and hadn't had any bouts with PTSD, though he did sometimes have nightmares about the war. It didn't affect his daily life, though, and he had been able to function as a normal member of society.

As he got himself clean, he turned the shower off and stepped out, grabbing a towel from the rack and drying his hair and body before wrapping it around his waist. He went about the rest of his clean up routine, brushing his teeth and such, before finally walking back out to the bedroom to get dressed and fix his hair. Looking at the clock, he saw he had just enough time, it seemed. After jotting down a quick note for Seth, who was likely hanging out with some friends after school, to let him know where he would be, Mason stepped out and got into the car to begin the drive to his father's house. He usually tried to avoid his father, since they hadn't gotten along in years, but tonight he would just have to put all of those feelings aside for his sister's sake. This was for her, and he wouldn't let the animosity toward their father ruin it.
 
The drive was euphoric. It was like riding in a dream. The engine purred and revved at her touch and made her feel really in control in what seemed like forever. She kept the windows down to let her hair blow out, air drying the last few stubbornly damp strands. It felt good to let loose a little, even if it was just a car ride. Her heavy metal music blared from the speakers in such a way it would give any electronics nerd a hard on just to be near. The sub-woofers made the base beats ripple through the frame, making the car thump in tune. She could lose herself like this. But it seemed that all too soon, her drive was over. She turned down the long driveway to her parents house, noting that the hedges and trees had been trimmed by her father. Her mother had planted new rose beds and some were in bloom. As she pulled to a stop outside the two story house, she stared at the roses a moment, putting the car back into the proper gear and turning it off. She was almost sad to have to turn off the engine. But for some reason those roses had her attention. She slipped out of the car, knowing her parents had their music on and cooking always distracted them so she would have a few minutes to herself...Those roses were bothering her.

They weren't really anything special, just red roses scattered amongst white ones. As she leaned over to stare at them, that's when she figured out what was bothering her. They were red and white roses, the red looking like blood smears amongst the snowy color. Her heart sped up as she thought of Dawn's face covered in her own blood. Dawn had been her army buddy for years and had met in basic and became fast friends. They had been through so much before Dawn had been shot through the chest while a second had grazed her cheek. The bullet had gone through her lung. Shutting her eyes, Ashlin tried to get that face of pain out of her mind, remembering how Dawn had said she loved her and that they would both be okay. And then Dawn had left the world a darker place.

Taking a deep breath and straightening, Ashlin shook her head of the horrible memories. She couldn't let them overwhelm her right now. She could survive a hard dinner with her family, even if it felt like it would kill her. She'd survived worse and would handle this, no sweat. Finding her center, she walked up to the door, contemplating knocking first. She really wasn't sure how she should enter and so she stood outside a moment, lost in a the moment of indecision.
 
It wasn't long after Ashlin arrived that Mason was pulling into the long drive. The house was only two stories, but it covered a lot of ground. Their father was both successful and wealthy, though he didn't feel the need to have a huge three story mansion. He had a tendency to be a bit conservative and miserly really. The estate was large, though, and the driveway was a half mile itself. Pulling up to the circle that enclosed a large flower bed, where most people parked when visiting, Mason killed the engine of the GTO and got out.

As he was walking to the house, he paused, noticing Ashlin was already at the door, but apparently hadn't knocked or rang the bell yet. She had seemed lost in her thoughts, and he wondered if he should approach or simply let her get into the house first. Finally he decided on the former, making his way up the steps to pause beside her on the large porch. "So, you trying to send them a psychic message that you're out here?" He decided to start off with a joke in an attempt to put her at ease as he looked at her with a slight grin.

Reaching out to ring the bell, he turned to his half-sister once more and reached out to pull her into an embrace before one of the hired helpers would get to the door. Wrapping his arms around her, he simply held her for a moment, saying nothing. He knew what she'd been through, and realized that sometimes it was best when someone had nothing to say, but just held you to let you know they could relate. He had never really wanted to talk about his own war experiences, so he was pretty sure she wouldn't either. Instead he stroked her hair for a moment as he hugged her close, then kissed the top of her head before finally pulling away. "Welcome home," he told her softly before turning as the door started to open.
 
She knew it was Mason. How she knew, she didn't really get, but the roar of the GTO was hard to miss. Seth had written about the car a few times, saying he wanted something similar but was thinking more conservatively. It was beautiful to look at with it's sleek lines and sharp angles. And there was no mistaking her brother's walk with anyone else. He just had that swagger that turned heads. She found herself taking him in before he spoke and she felt a small smile curving her mouth, but didn't answer. She didn't get the time to do so before he wrapped her in an embrace and held her. Her eyes widened in response, not yet reacting to his touch. She hadn't had a hug in months, and feeling his embrace just reminded her of that fact. And the reason why she hadn't been hugged in so long. It didn't hurt for him to hug her, thankfully, but it did make her realize how much she had missed him.

Soon enough, her own arms encircled him and just held on, relaxing into him briefly before he pulled back and kissed the top of her head. He had a few inches on her so it wasn't difficult for him to do. It was then that she wanted the familiarity of touching him and so when the door opened, she lightly grasped his hand, her fingers lightly touching his palm before their hands were linked. She still didn't say anything until the servant backed away from the door.

"Apparently, my telepathy skills don't need much improvement."

She smiled at him, just a faint little turning of her lips that made her eyes look more alive than they had a few moments ago. She gave his hand a squeeze before she let go and stepped across the threshold, feeling like the air was gonna get sucked out of her. The place looked the same, her parents still the same, but it didn't feel like home. No place really did. Her mother came zooming into the hall and almost crashed into her before wrapping her up into her arms, sobbing. She blinked in surprise and uncertainty, looking to Mason for help as her mother murmured different things she couldn't quite catch.
 
Mason held his hands up and smirked as if to tell Ashlin she was on her own, instead turning to head into the house to find their father. He liked her mom well enough, but the woman could talk forever sometimes. Pausing outside his father's study, he gave a few taps at the door before hearing the gruff answer. "It's open." With a sigh, he turned the handle and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. "Ashlin's here. You planning to go see her?"

Their father looked at him for a moment and shrugged, placing his pipe between his lips and taking a long puff before pulling it away to let out some wisps of smoke as he spoke. "I'll see her at dinner, won't I?" Pursing his lips a bit, Mason shook his head slightly. "I just thought you might like to welcome her home before that," he responded, his eyes meeting their father's and remaining on him, refusing to give ground. They often butted heads, being men of very different, yet very similar personalities. While Mason had different views of the world and how it worked, he had the stubborn tenacity that was so present in his father.

After a few words exchanged, their father making his argument and Mason countering him, finally the conversation was over. "The world is still all about you," Mason said as he turned to leave, pausing for a moment. "I'm not going to fight with you, for my sister's sake. But your daughter would like to see that her father loves her." With that he closed the door and made his way back toward the foyer to see how Ashlin was holding up under her mother's verbal onslaught.
 
"Oh, baby girl! I'm so glad you're home! We missed you!"

Her mother wouldn't stop with that. It was grating on Ashlin's nerves, making her have to lock her muscles so she didn't start shaking in aggravation from the onslaught. She could just barely hear Mason speaking with their father and knew from the start that it was a lost cause. Their father had hated her decision to go into the service, even though at the same time he thought it would be good for her. He was a gruff and hard man to deal with. No wonder her mother was constantly in hysterics. Probably why Ashlin controlled her emotions. She didn't want to be like either of her parents: either too emotional and not emotional enough.

Still, her mother eventually calmed down and they spoke about nothing special. Ashlin didn't bother mentioning the car since her mom was "conservative" about Sam and his lifestyle. She didn't need to hear about any of that, or her mother's inbred issues about such things. But sitting down in the pristine living room showed her that nothing had really changed and wondered if her old room had been converted to an office or something like she expected. It wasn't like she was going to be moving back in or anything, but she hoped her mom would cut the cord, so to speak. Being in the house again made Ashlin want to scream. She had never truly liked being home.

"We're having lasagna tonight. We knew how much you loved lasagna growing up, so I decided that's what was for dinner."

Ashlin felt her stomach drop at the thought of lasagna. If her mother made it, she'd be sick by the end of the night. Her mother couldn't cook for shit, and that's why they had a professional cook. Even so, Ashlin hated lasagna. This night was going from nerve-wracking to full-on suck mode. Smiling at her mother with a practiced expression, she got up to go outside for a minute.

"I'll be back in a moment, Mom. I just want to look at the flowers for a bit."

Her mother smiled and waved her off, knowing nothing of her plight as she exited out the back door and took in a deep breath to keep from screaming. This is not what she wanted. She didn't want any of this. What she wanted was to just sit down and be left alone. This dinner was such a bad idea. Hell, even seeing Mason wasn't balancing out the problems in the home she left behind.
 
Seeing Ashlin heading for the back door as he left the study, Mason pursed his lips again, sighing softly to himself. She had apparently gotten all she could stand of her mother and needed a break. He knew she wasn't exactly thrilled about being here, but she was suffering through it anyway. She was a girl of strong character, there was no doubt about that, but everyone had a breaking point, and if anyone could reach hers, it was their family. He had already reached his long ago, which was why he didn't come around except on special occasions these days.

Stepping out after her, he gave her mom a quick smile and nod before he was through the house and out the back door. Sitting next to her with a content sigh, he took out a pack of menthols and lit one before offering her the pack. "Helps calm the nerves. Just don't let 'em hook ya," he told her with a smirk as he took a drag. "My suggestion would be drink as much wine as you can pour down your throat and the night will fly by a lot faster. Then if you want we can go grab a six pack and hang out in peace. Or you can just head back to wherever you're staying if you wanna be alone."

He put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze, letting her know she didn't have to face the family alone. They were in this boat together, and it was no secret he hated family gatherings as much as she did, if not more. Taking another drag of his cigarette, he toyed with the Zippo he had lit it with, flipping the lid open and snapping it shut as he looked out across the yard, the sun already low in the sky, casting a yellow and pink tint on everything in sight. "You've been strong for three years. You just need to make it a few more hours, then you can have your breakdown," he joked, giving her shoulder another squeeze before letting his hand fall away.
 
Out of the corner of her eye, she watches Mason sit down beside her, watching the muscles in his legs working to put him into that state. It was funny, she thought, how muscles did so many different things but they couldn't make a situation better because the person using them had to do that. Fighting was one thing, dealing with another. Taking the pack of cigarettes as they were offered, she snagged his Zippo a moment and lit up, taking a deep toxic drag before giving it back to him. She watched the smoke drift out of her mouth and dissolve into the air before she said anything.

"You know I don't drink wine. My twenty-first birthday photos attest to that."

She winked at him a moment before taking another drag, leaning back on one arm to look up at the dwindling sunlight. Out here, it was peaceful. Out here, the silence wasn't so oppressive. Probably because Mason was here and he wouldn't give her any bullshit. He was straightforward and always gave her straight up answers. Feeling him squeeze her shoulder, she let some of the tension in her body slip away. Her eyes shut as he did it a second time and felt an odd tingling in her skin. She opened her eyes to stare at the sky as she thought about it and then let it go. Thinking was not in her best interest right now.

"A six pack and just hanging out later sounds good. I'll try not to drink so I don't trash my baby on the way home."

Another stream of toxic smoke let her in satisfaction as she hummed softly, enjoying his company and the little cancer stick calming down her nerves. At the rate things were going, she'd smoke half the pack before the dinner was over. Or she left.
 
As they sat there and had their smokes, Mason didn't say much. He knew what she needed wasn't something words could provide. She just needed the company, to feel the presence of someone comforting. After finishing the cigarettes, he stood and offered her a hand up, helping her to her feet and placing his hands on her shoulders like a coach about to give one of his athletes an inspirational speech. "Okay, you ready? You can do this. Let's go in there and show 'em who we are," he said with a smirk, giving her shoulders a squeeze before turning to walk inside.

Arriving inside, the table was set and things were getting underway as the parents were seating themselves. Moving to take his seat as well, Mason patted the spot next to him so Ashlin didn't have to sit by their father, deciding to take that bullet for her. He tried to remain quiet through dinner, and made a very solid effort to get along with their father as conversations carried on while they ate. It was hard to choke down the lasagna, but he managed to do it, all while taking care not to drink too much so he would be okay to drive when they left.

Overall he did an admirable job, keeping debates with their father to a minimum, and quite obviously biting his tongue a few times when he really wanted to speak out. Now and then he would glance to Ashlin and make a face, mocking what the old man was saying silently before giving her a playful smirk and turning back to the conversation, doing anything he could to get a smile out of her and keep her spirits up. It wouldn't be much longer before they were free and would be able to just spend some time relaxing and carrying on their own completely pointless conversations. At least those conversations were fun, though.
 
She couldn't help but smile- a smile that reached her eyes- when Mason gave his little pep talk after helping her up. He always had that way about him, able to figure out what she needed when she couldn't really talk about anything. Sometimes, growing up, it had been annoying, but right now it was what she really needed. When he went inside, she took a moment to fully collect herself before sitting down beside him, noting the strategy he laid out in their place settings. She wouldn't be in the direct line of fire from Dad, so he was going to take the shots- at least most of them. She had learned over the years that if she didn't like her food, she would move most of it around her plate and pretend to eat it or only eat a small bit. Mason, however, hadn't had to learn such a skill and she smiled to herself as he forced himself to eat dinner.

The conversations swished by her, making her realize how out of place she really felt here. How had she endured this for all those years? She didn't really know. One of the servants had made sure to give her some alcohol in her sodas, which made the night go by smoother. However, she felt in her stomach that something bad was going to happen which had nothing to do with the food. As her father finished the last of his dinner, he templed his fingers, elbows resting on the table as he looked at his daughter before saying something she hadn't wanted to hear about. Not ever. Not now.

"I was wondering something, Ashlin. I remember you telling me about a friend of yours in the service. Shawn or something. How is he doing now that he's allowed back home?"

Her hand froze halfway to her drink, her pale face made paler by the question. Shawn had been one of the members in her squadron that had died in the bomb that gave her her scars and had sent her home. She didn't feel her hand shake as her mind started to blank, a flashback forming in her mind before she took a deep inhale and clenched her fist. Her heart felt like it would pound out of her chest. She cleared her throat, finding no words or voice to speak of. She pushed her chair out and said softly,

"Excuse me."

She heard her dad say something, and then her mom, but it was all muffled as she barely managed to make it outside before the flashback started and she was gone.
 
Mason frowned as his father once again managed to breach a subject that should have been left alone. Looking to the old man, he shook his head, not even saying anything as he stood and left the table. He should have known better. You don't ask someone who was home fresh from a war questions that pertained to it. Not only was it rude, but it also had a way of triggering memories they wanted to leave buried and bringing them to the surface, opening wounds that were nowhere near healed. Rolling his eyes as he looked to his father, he stepped outside and looked around for Ashlin.

Upon spotting her, he approached quickly, saying nothing, simply reaching for her shoulder and turning her to face him before he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to his chest. Running a hand through her hair, he remained silent, simply letting her feel his presence, allowing her to come to the realization on her own that she was safe, and not alone. He had gone through his own bouts after his return home, though it had been years. Somehow his own memories hadn't haunted him so much, but he had also been left somewhat numb emotionally after his tour.

Holding onto her tightly, he kept her close, even though she likely would put up a fight for a minute, letting her feel the warmth and familiarity of his presence. Even if his episodes weren't really so bad, he still understood better than anyone where her mind was and what a dark place it could be after such an experience. Still stroking her hair and making comforting shush sounds, he held off on speaking until he knew she was calm enough for words to get through to her. "He's an ass," he told her. "He has no idea what we've been through and just doesn't stop to think before opening his mouth because he thinks he's infallible. Don't let him get to you."
 
She didn't know Mason was outside as she started shaking, hitting the heel of her palm against her forehead to try and drive out the flashback by force. She heard bombs she knew weren't there and voices that didn't come from living mouths anymore. She put her hands over her ears to drown out the noise before she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her instinct was to lash out but then her body was pressed against another body and she struggled, suddenly feeling panic. Enemy or friend? She didn't know until she heard Mason's soft meaningless noises calming her down, his hand in her hair and his arms around her. She took shallow breaths, close to a panic attack as she trembled against him, hands clutching at his shoulders.

She didn't cry. It was one thing she refused to do even as the tears stung and threatened to drop down her cheeks. Her death-grip on her mind soon loosened up as she came back to the present, held tight in Mason's arms. Soft sounds hit her ears first before she took in the color of his shirt and the feel of his fingers stroking her hair. The air was different- not hot and dry and oppressive. She could hear birds and Mason telling her not to let their father get to her. To not let him win because he couldn't understand. Her breathing slowed and evened out, feeling like an eternity had passed. But her watch told her the whole episode had lasted maybe fifteen minutes.

And now she was just tired. She sighed as she gently extracted herself from Mason's hard grip, lightly pressing her hands against his firm chest. Looking up at him, she noticed his hair was a little mussed. Maybe from her struggling? She didn't know but she reached up hesitantly to move some hair from his face and put it back in place. She took her time smoothing out the wrinkles she had made in his shirt as if it took all her concentration and attention. It helped her focus on the present to remove all the little flaws she could fix.

"I wanna leave.."

She said softly before looking up at him, holding his gaze with one that had blanked out. She'd shut up her emotions and memories, becoming soldier-like before his eyes. It was something she hadn't wanted to show Mason, but she needed her sanity to keep herself alive.
 
When Ashlin finally started to calm down and pull away, straightening out his hair and shirt, Mason just smiled softly and let her. She needed something to focus on, and this seemed to be doing the trick. And she wasn't exactly an unpleasant woman to have in contact with you. When she finished and announced she was ready to leave, he gave a slight nod in agreement and turned to walk her back into the house. "Me too. I think I've had all of the old man's charm I can stand for a day."

As they entered the house, Mason looked to their father, giving him a nod. "We're headed out," he told him, then looked to Ashlin's mother and walked to her to take her hands with a smile. "Thank you for dinner," he told her before letting her hands go and turning to put an arm over his sister's shoulder to walk her out of the house. Getting the front door for her, he stepped out behind her and closed the door, moving to walk her to her car. "So, follow me and we'll stop by the liquor store. I think I could use something stronger to go with that six pack. And might make it a twelve. Seth is out for the weekend, so I've got nothing to do."

Helping her into her car, he closed the door for her after leaning over to give her a peck on the cheek, then turned to walk to his GTO. Getting in and starting the engine, he let the low rumble sooth him a bit before putting the car in gear and pulling around the circle past Ashlin for her to start following him. Turning on the radio, he let his beloved rock station drown out the frustrations of the evening as he flipped on the headlights, the sun now gone from the sky, and turned to head into town.
 
She wasn't holding his hand as they walked back into the house, but the comfort that would have come from such a thing was there in just his company. It was hard to walk back into that house, and just looked at her parents with a blank expression. Her mother's make up wasn't quite right, so she knew there had been an argument. But she couldn't really be bothered. Her parents kept their issues under the rug and it had been killing them for years. She couldn't make herself care. She gave her mom a small kiss before saying she would call soon and just stared at her father, who squirmed just the slightest bit under her gaze and Mason's words. He couldn't just forbid them from leaving anymore than he could try to kick them out. Her mother may have been a push over, but she wouldn't let him tear the family apart. Good ol' mom.

Feeling his arm draped over her shoulders, Ashlin felt more like herself. It was strange, really, that being in his presence would keep her grounded when nothing else did. They weren't strangers, hadn't been allowed to get close, but there was just a familiarity that just went beyond their separate lives. She couldn't relax her guard just yet, though. As Mason helped her into the car and told her about their plans, she nodded, thinking that would be the best plan. Her door shut, she put the key into the ignition and started the engine, just revving it a moment to let it bring her back to Earth. The music instantly sounded, drowning out the last remnants of thought. Her eyes shut before she heard a similar roar from Mason's car and soon put her foot on the gas and clutch, changing gears to follow behind him for a well deserved night of oblivion with headlights guiding the way.
 
After about forty-five minutes of driving, they were getting back into town. Mason detoured and pulled his car into the liquor store parking lot, getting out after killing the engine and walking to Ashlin's car to meet her, opening the door for her so he could talk to her. "Okay, so what are we in the mood for and how much? Just come inside with me and we'll pick something out." With a smile, he pushed off the car and headed for the front door, opening it with a jingle from the bells attached to it. Looking back, he held the door for her and let it close behind them once they were inside. He immediately went to the coolers and grabbed a twelve pack of Corona and a bottle of lime juice before turning to her.

"Okay," he said. "Beer's covered, unless you want something different. Now what kind of liquor are we feeling like? Tequila? Bourbon? Anything but vodka and I'm good." With a smirk he headed toward the isles to start scanning the selection of liquors, trying to find something that both of them could agree on. He had a preference for bourbon, but was usually good with anything. It was no secret he didn't like vodka, though, having drank himself sick on it before and now just the taste and smell of it caused his stomach to turn. Giving Ashlin a playful grin, he stepped back and let her look over the selection a bit for something she might like. It was more for her, than for him, after all.
 
The drive eased out some of her tension, but she still felt like she'd been hit by a tank. She knew she was paler than usual, but it wasn't really something she could change at that moment. Time seemed to fly until they parked in the lot for the local liquor store. She parked beside Mason and was opening the door just as he pulled her door open, making her almost fall out of the car. She looked up at him with a grin before standing up and smoothing her skirt down. She shut the door as he talked to her and she shrugged a moment before smiling softly, slowly returning to herself.

"I'm thinking Jack and I need to be reacquainted."

Grinning at him, she followed behind him before stepping into the store as he opened the door, hearing the little jingle. It was such a normal sound that it sapped away the negative energy still coating her like a second skin. Her shoulders eased down a fraction, making her look much more relaxed, less confrontational. Seeing the familiar Corona and lime in Mason's hands made her think back to some fun times she had had. Before the madness had settled into her bones. Looking around the shelves (she skipped the vodka, even though she liked it) and grabbed two bottles of Jack - just in case. Looking over the other bottles, she snatched Tequila. She wanted to get good and drunk. There was no stopping her from attaining that goal now.

"Ready to party it up?"

She grinned and waggled the bottle at him. Stepping up to the counter, she noticed the clerk was just staring at her. She smiled a little and leaned into the counter, making him see some of her ample cleavage. His eyes followed just as she figured. The bottles rested on the counter as he stared before she cleared her throat and fluttered her lashes. He blushed and looked up, giving her a shy but sexy smile.

"I'll take these...and what he's got."

She tipped her head back to indicate Mason and what he had. The clerk seemed to deflate but she beamed a smile at him and he started scanning the bar codes. He hadn't spoken yet and she briefly wondered if he could. His name tag read Kelan, and so she spoke to him.

"Long night, Kelan? You look a little beat."

"Just started working actually...but my night is already improving."

He answered, finally looking her in the eyes. He stammered out the price before she reached into her bra and produced the money. She knew Mason would probably have a freak out over her antics, but she couldn't find it within her to care. She was having fun and Mason would just have to pay her back when they got to his place.

"That's too much money, here's the change..."

Kelan said, practically giving her half of what she'd given back. So he was discounting it? All the more reason to enjoy her night. Turning to Mason, bottles in hand, she winked at him.
 
As they made their way to the counter, Mason paused as Ashlin began to flirt with the cashier, cocking an eyebrow slightly. He wasn't sure what she was doing, but now he was curious. Was she really trying to score a date right now? Then again, that could be taken as a good sign, meaning her mood had indeed lightened. Holding the twelve pack and the lime, he simply listened to the interaction. It wasn't long before he figured out what was really happening, then.

When the exchange was finished, and Ashlin had gotten away with paying only half price for the alcohol, Mason just smirked and gave the cashier a cheeky grin on the way out. Pushing the door open with his foot, he held it for Ashlin before slipping out behind her, taking the alcohol to his car. "That was smooth," he told her. "I need to bring you along to get drinks more often. I'll give you my half when we get to the house. I usually don't carry cash. Just my cards." Setting the twelve pack on the roof of his car, he opened the door and grabbed the beer to put inside before standing up and turning to her.

"At least I hope that's what you were doing. You're way to hot for that kid." With a wink, he climbed into his car and started it up. Was that a hint of jealousy or concern in his voice? Or was it either? Maybe he was just being cute and playful. It was really hard to say, but either way, he didn't seem to lose his head over it. "The money in the bra...nice one by the way," he called out, shooting her a cheeky grin before putting the car into gear and pulling around to head to his house, waiting for her to get in line behind him before leaving the parking lot.
 
Smiling back at Kelan, she gave him a wink before following Mason out, barely able to restrain her laughter at the way Mason had looked. He had been so confused until she had gotten the money back. As she stepped outside, she took a deep breath and just smiled. It still worked. Boobs got you everything when applied in the right situations. She didn't make a habit of doing it, but she had wanted to see if she still had that touch. She'd felt so ruined that she hadn't been sure what to make of herself. An ego boost was always worth something. As she watched Mason, liquor in hand, she watched him and nodded as he said he'd give her half.

"All right, that's fine with me. Is my darling little nephew going to be home?"

She asked with a hint of curiosity almost as if she didn't want him there. But with his words, she was really confused. He'd never said that to her even when they were growing up. The slightest blush tinted her cheeks pink in the darkness as she watched him get into the car. She shook her head as she got into her own car, putting the alcohol in first before strapping herself in and turning on the engine. Hearing his last words, she had to laugh.

"Better than pulling it out of my underwear!"
 
As they arrived at his house, Mason pulled into the driveway, hitting his garage remote and pulling in as the door opened. Getting out of his car, he grabbed the beer and moved to meet Ashlin as she was pulling in, stepping out of the garage and closing the door. "Seth is gone for the weekend," he told her as he walked next to her car, waiting for her to get out before turning to head for the front door. Setting the beer down on the porch, he dug his keys out and unlocked the door before opening it and grabbing the alcohol and stepping in.

His house was of decent enough size, with plenty of space to spare and nicely furnished. There was a sectional sofa in the living room, which was his destination, with a flat screen TV on the wall and a nice coffee table in front of it. The lights had been turned on and set to low when he had left earlier so he could see how to get through the house on his return. Leaving them low, he sat on the sofa and gave it a pat for Ashlin to join him, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV for some background noise.

Looking to his half-sister, Mason offered a slight smile. "Yeah, you're definitely in charge of getting alcohol from now on," he told her with a wink. "Oh, speaking of which..." He hopped up and ran out of the room, upstairs, disappearing into his bedroom for a few minutes. Upon his return, he handed her enough money to cover the alcohol, just paying her back for the full amount. "On me tonight. Call it my treat for your homecoming." Jumping over the back of the sofa, he landed in his seat once more and settled in, leaning forward and opening a panel on the coffee table to take out a set of shot glasses, setting them on the surface of the table and holding a hand out for one of the liquor bottles.
 
Ashlin followed behind him, the directions to his house slowly filling her head. It had been years since she'd been there, but it was coming back to her as she pulled up next to his car in the garage and got out after him. Hearing that her nephew wasn't home was a little disappointing but some part of her was happy for the reprieve. She loved her nephew to death, but she wanted some time with her brother. Her phone shook in her pocket and she grabbed it, checking the message. It was from her mother asking her to call her and she turned off her phone. She wasn't calling her mother tonight. Smiling up at Mason, she followed him in after she grabbed their stash.

The living room was pleasant and she observed the room a moment before looking over at Mason as he patted the space beside him and turned on the TV. For some reason, the lighting and setting struck her as oddly...romantic. Or something. Shaking the thought away, she joined him on the couch and deposited the bottles before he dashed away to probably grab the money he owed. She glanced around the room and smoothed her skirt again before seeing him come back with the cash. She blinked at the amount and was about to protest before his words rolled over her own. Seeing him pull the shot glasses out of the coffee table panel, she couldn't help but laugh.

"No wonder I could never find them."

She popped open the top on the Jack Daniel's, poured them both a shot and raised her glass to him.

"Here's to well...being alive and well."

She tossed back her shot with a grimace before letting out a satisfied sigh as the burn went down her throat.
 
With a soft chuckle, Mason listened to his sister as she said her toast, nodding and raising his glass in response before tossing it back and downing the shot. Setting his glass down, he made a face and shook his head briefly, appreciating the burn of the liquor for a moment before he took the bottle and poured them each another shot. Handing her glass to her, he held his own up and grinned a bit. "And to having someone to understand us," he said with a smile before tossing the next one back.

Setting the glass down once more, he leaned back for a moment, relaxing against the soft leather of the sofa with a content sigh. "I assume you'll be staying the night," he said with a smirk. "You're damn sure not driving, so hand over the keys." Holding his hand out, he signaled for her to place her keys in it, wiggling his fingers a few times for her to hurry up. "I'll just put them away for the night and you can get them tomorrow. But you can hang out here this weekend if you just want some company."
 
She grinned back at him, taking the second shot and downing it a little more easily this time, though she still made a face. Watching him relax against the couch, she stretched out her back, feeling the muscles tightening up uncomfortably. The alcohol settled in her stomach and she knew it wouldn't be long before they downed so many shots they couldn't see straight. Hearing his words, she rolled her eyes but did as he asked, standing up to pull the keys out of her skirt's left front pocket. She put them in his hand, holding her hand there longer than she should have before she said in a serious tone.

"Don't lose them."

And then she laughed before plopping herself right back down on the sofa and pouring herself a third shot, downing it before he could protest or stop her. She poured him a shot but wouldn't pour herself a fourth one until he was caught up with her. Leaning back against the cushions, she grinned at him, feeling so much better already. It was peaceful in this house, knowing that it was far away from her parents and the lonely place that she was borrowing from Sam and Tomas. Still, something just felt off. She poured herself a fourth shot even though she told herself not to and downed it without making a face. The burn hit her stomach and warmed her up from the inside like nothing else would. With a content sigh, she leaned into Mason and just relaxed for a moment.
 
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