To Reach Out, or To Not Reach Out~ Which do you do?

[echo]

This has been a topic I have been curious about for sometime. As an individual who is prone to panic attacks for anything posted/shared, or ideas/thoughts to reach out about, I am curious how others go about approaching others for roleplays.

How many times is too many to reach out? Do you even bother to?

Like, I have reached out to several, more than once, and sometimes it just feels as though I am doing more pestering than trying to state, "Hey, I wanna write with you." Sure, I want to write with that person, but I do not enjoy being brushed off or pinned as a pest.

So, here's the question:

When do you stop reaching out? Have you reached out? What is it about it that is enjoyable, or is it more a pain in the ass than what it's worth?

I crave good stories with writer's who put forth the effort, but sometimes... I just dunno if it is worth the cost of the anxiety released, ya feel?

Remove if not allowed. Genuinenly curious, hence the posting of it.

 

[Sync]

I reach out.

I don't have my own RT (or...I did, a long time ago, and I haven't bothered resurrecting it), so I don't have people approaching me.

When I reach out, though, I put a lot of effort into my OP to show my prospective partner that I am serious about engaging and writing, that I have put (and am capable of putting) thought into the story idea.

Then I leave it. If the partner responds, great, I know one way or the other. If they don't respond...I move on. I never chase.

 

[Baka]

I rarely reach out, but when I do I only do it once. Like Sync I aim to put a lot of effort in my approaches, since those posts that make me do the first move are something I really want to get off the ground and do with the person who posted the thread. If my best didn't get response back then I assume anything after that would either. The exception would be if they say they are full on roleplays etc, but ask me to contact them later, but since the conversation was about people who never reply to inquiry this is not applicable here. As for is it enjoyable/pain in the ass... I am pretty neutral about it. The reason I don't hit people up is simply because I rarely find anything that pushes me to send the message, so I just find it easier to advertise what I have to offer and find people interested in those.

 

[Siph]

Whenever I get a new craving/idea, things usually go as follows:

1) I search the forums if there's someone with similar ideas/interests.

2) If so, I'll reach out to them, obviously tailoring my message to their own requests instead of literally pitching what's on my mind. If I don't get a response at all, I'll just leave things be; if I do get a response but they go silence halfway into talking, I'll usually give them a tickle about a week later, to see if they're still interested. If I don't hear anything back (after, say, another week), I'll assume they're no longer interested or busy with other things and move on.

3) If (2) was unsuccessful (or I didn't find any like-minded people at all), I'll put up my own RT.

Oftentimes my "new" craving is something I've advertised in a previous RT, in which case I try to get back in touch with some of the people that responded to my original thread but I didn't get a chance to play with (or stopped playing with for whatever reason). In that case, I give it the same treatment as in (2): if I don't hear anything back, I'll move on.

 

[Cassandraks]

I have my own RT, so I go a lot off of that. But if I find an idea I like on someone else's I will reach out to them. But only once, if they don't get back to me after that it is pretty obvious that they are not interested. Plus if they are treating me in a way, where they can't just send a quick "No Thanks" to me. They are not going to be someone I want to write with anyways. If I do send a PM to someone about an idea, I try to put enough in there to give them my idea on it and maybe even a character. Which is time and effort that I put into it. If I like the idea, enough, or at least the character I created I might put them up on my RT to see if I can find someone else to write the character with.

 

[reverie.]

i reach out to those i am genuinely interested in writing with. if i see something i like, and i think we'll be a good fit, i reach out. and i often write a loooong message explaining why i want to write with them and what i'd like to write. i give them options tho!

if i don't hear back, i just let it slide. doesn't bother me. i'm not gonna waste my energy where i'm not wanted.
if i get a no, i thank them for getting back to me and wish them well on their roleplaying journey.

if others reach out to me, i am quickly to turn down people who approach me with a "hey. i wanna rp with you. let me know if you want to discuss something." no thank you. i need at least a paragraph to know you've read my request thread and understood what i am looking for. i don't feel bad for telling people know. i know i am picky, i know it can be difficult to get rejected, but i also know how much i struggle with stories i'm not really into. i'm done writing stories i don't want to write.

but trust me when i say it hasn't always been like this. so i understand why people struggle with all of this. but a rule of thumb: don't take it personally.

 

[Aleksandr]

I don't have an RT, so 99% I am approaching. I never reach out for like a follow-up or a "poke" after making the initial pitch. After I hit that send button, I try not to think about things because then it'll just eat you up. Never take things personally, and you do have to have a thick skin about it. If they never respond, that's fine. If they reply with a no thanks, I *might* follow up to ask what it was that they didn't feel it would work out, solely for the purposes of learning to do better for the next person. Of course, I understand the pressure that might make people feel, so I don't do that often.

There isn't much in the way of doing it is either enjoyable or not worth it. I suppose if I was completely fed up with approaching, I would create my own RT and see if that would generate interest.