ʀɛʋɛʀɨɛ ﹒𐙚 ⨯﹒ 🆄 🅽 🅲 🅴 🅽 🆂 🅾 🆁 🅴 🅳 | ⁿˢᶠʷ

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"૮₍ •⤙•˶ | ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰᵗˢ..! ᵃⁿᵈ ᶠᵉᵉˡⁱⁿᵍˢ ˎˊ˗
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𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖜𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 𓏲 ˚ ۪ ♥︎ ݁⸝⸝⸝ ⑅ — ʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ ɪɴꜱɪᴅᴇ ᴍʏ 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉 ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍᴇ 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 ᴘʀɪꜱᴏɴᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀꜱᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕪 𝕠𝕦𝕥 ​

 

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𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶ ​ i have been struggling with sleep for a long, long time and yet it feels like every night is the first. it's like i have forgotten how much it sucks literally overnight. and sometimes i don't even know what is keeping me up. i am tired. my eyes are sore. my mind is empty. my body is fucking exhausted. and yet. . . i just can't drift off. and then i get mad. frustrated. sad. because i want it so badly. i want to sleep, so i can get up early. so i can do something productive. start my day the way i want to. but instead, i am forced to sleep in. and even then, i don't get the sleep that i so desperately need. fucking crave. i don't get enough hours, and i never catch up. the quality is shit too, so i never feel rested. and then it repeats. again and again and again and again. an endless loop of sleepless nights. i am forever tired. ​

 

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╭───────༺ ♡ ༻───────╮ 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝟙:𝟜𝟞 ────── ● ─── 𝟚:𝟜𝟞 ↻  ◁  𝕀𝕀  ▷  ↺ ╰───────༺ ♡ ༻───────╯ made it out 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆, but i think i 𝕃𝕆𝕊𝕋 𝕀𝕋 said that i was 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎, said it from my 𝖈𝖔𝖋𝖋𝖎𝖓 remember how i 𝑫𝑰𝑬𝑫 when you started 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔? that's my life, that's my ｌｉｆｅ i'll put up a 𝕗𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥, taking out my 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 don't you know the 𝑣𝑖𝑏𝑒? don't you know the 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐? you should spend the 𝙽𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃, catch me on your 𝖈𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌 that's your price, that's your ｐｒｉｃｅ 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙. . . ​

 

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𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𓏲 ˚ ۪ ♥︎ ݁⸝⸝⸝ ⑅ — ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ 𝑠𝑢𝑔𝑎𝑟𝑐𝑜𝑎𝑡 ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴏᴘ ᴅᴜᴍʙɪɴɢ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬, ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʜᴏʟᴅɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ｌｉｆｅ ᴛᴏ ᴀ 𝕣𝕠𝕡𝕖 ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰʟᴏᴀᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ 𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 ​

 

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to my amazing writing partners —— and i really mean amazing !! ​ ‎♡  ♡  ♡​ first of all, thank you sooo much for your patience. honestly, you guys are the best of the best. i've been struggling a lot with my motivation to write lately. actually, i've been struggling with my motivation to do anything. and i am pretty sure it is because i'm getting depressed burnt out again ~ from my real-life responsibilities ( translation: hover to read ) so, what this means is that i always feel like i am behind on replies ~ and let's be honest, i always am. but being behind makes me feel overwhelmed. often, i don't know where to start, and so. . . i don't write anything. this leads to me falling further behind, which again results in me getting more anxious about writing, and eventually, i don't feel like writing at all. . . this is why i rarely respond to things in chronological order ~ because my muse is extremely fickle, and sometimes i have to write what i feel like writing instead of what i should be writing. so i apologize for keeping some of you waiting while others are getting more replies. ​ i don't really want to drop any of my roleplays, so please be patient with me while i get my shit together write your replies ~ it might take a week, it might take two. or three, who knows.

@Koura
@Father Figure
@Iron and Wine
@Verse
@Neon Dream
@Niksis
@Keith Logan

 

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i just want to curl up in a ball and stay on the couch all day. but i can't do that, because i have to go to work, i have to cook, eat, exercise, clean, tidy, and do all the things i don't really have the energy to do. and yet i do it all, because i have to. because i don't have a choice. and it fucking sucks.​

 

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​                                                                                          ​ better days are coming. i am sorry for ranting all the time, but i am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. i know it will get better soon, but it's pretty dark right now. i won't stop trying though; i won't stop doing my very best, but man. . . i've already used my backup generator. and backup backup generator, lol. i want to do all these things—writing is one of them—but i just can't get myself to do it. i feel like i am letting my partners down, but i am so grateful for their patience and understanding. i wish i could just force myself to do it. i know some people can. but i am not some people. i struggle. i struggle a lot. i just hope i'll get my muse back soon; i really miss my roleplays. i also miss sleeping well. having an appetite. enjoying my days off. i don't rly find joy in anything these days—even though i try really hard to fix it. i'm sure it'll come back eventually. gradually. i just have to be patient too. even though i am not. i kinda want it all to get fixed right now, but that's not the reality i live in. at least not at the moment. so, i have to wait. wait for the better days to come. and i will. even if i have to wait for a very long time. better days are coming, i just know it.​