i have been struggling with sleep for a long, long time and yet it feels like every night is the first. it's like i have forgotten how much it sucks literally overnight. and sometimes i don't even know what is keeping me up. i am tired. my eyes are sore. my mind is empty. my body is fucking exhausted. and yet. . . i just can't drift off.
and then i get mad. frustrated. sad. because i want it so badly. i want to sleep, so i can get up early. so i can do something productive. start my day the way i want to. but instead, i am forced to sleep in. and even then, i don't get the sleep that i so desperately need. fucking crave. i don't get enough hours, and i never catch up. the quality is shit too, so i never feel rested.
and then it repeats. again and again and again and again. an endless loop of sleepless nights. i am forever tired.
made it out 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆, but i think i 𝕃𝕆𝕊𝕋 𝕀𝕋 said that i was 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎, said it from my 𝖈𝖔𝖋𝖋𝖎𝖓 remember how i 𝑫𝑰𝑬𝑫 when you started 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔?
that's my life, that's my life
i'll put up a 𝕗𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥, taking out my 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠
don't you know the 𝑣𝑖𝑏𝑒? don't you know the 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐?
you should spend the 𝙽𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃, catch me on your 𝖈𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌 that's your price, that's your price
first of all, thank you sooo much for your patience. honestly, you guys are the best of the best.
i've been struggling a lot with my motivation to write lately. actually, i've been struggling with my motivation to do anything. and i am pretty sure it is because i'm getting depressedburnt out again ~ from my real-life responsibilities ( translation: hover to read )
so, what this means is that i always feel like i am behind on replies ~ and let's be honest, i always am. but being behind makes me feel overwhelmed. often, i don't know where to start, and so. . . i don't write anything. this leads to me falling further behind, which again results in me getting more anxious about writing, and eventually, i don't feel like writing at all. . .
this is why i rarely respond to things in chronological order ~ because my muse is extremely fickle, and sometimes i have to write what i feel like writing instead of what i should be writing. so i apologize for keeping some of you waiting while others are getting more replies.
i don't really want to drop any of my roleplays, so please be patient with me while i get my shit together write your replies ~ it might take a week, it might take two. or three, who knows.