Handling a Rude Response.

[knockknock]

I was curious how you might go about responding to someone who responds to a request in a rude manner? I have come across it a few times and I usually apologize for upsetting them or being a bother. But it annoys me that alot of times that courtesy is not returned.

 

[raison detre]

I'd say just don't waste your time with them. If they're being rude to you, they honestly don't even deserve a response back from you, nor do I think they expect one.

It's pretty difficult to get over a bad interaction like that, it's easier said than done, but just do your best to not let it get to you. Again, easier said than done, but moving on is the best thing you can do. Definitely don't snap back though.

 

[Siph]

Someone saw my RT and used that as an excuse to be a jerk in my inbox? I've never had that happen before, but I'd simply ignore them and leave the conversation; if what they said was particularly insulting, I'd report the message too -- if they're being toxic to you there's a good chance they're doing the same to other people.

I have had interactions where someone responded to my thread and I sent something back that they saw as a reason to rant at me, and nowadays I do the same as the above: report it if I think it's reportable, leave the convo, and ignore the sender. Giving them any more attention is a waste of your time.

Of course, if I've been playing with someone for a while and they say something that comes across as rude, I try to talk it over first. Knowing my RP partners, it's typically just a misunderstanding that can easily be resolved.

 

[cyx.]

the important thing to remind yourself is that you're only able to control your own responses and actions. if you're being completely reasonable, and someone gets their 'panties in a bunch', there's little you can do / could have done to prevent it from happening. apologizing is always a good step, but once again, you're only in control of how you handle something. if they're still rude even after apologizing and trying to find a common ground, i'd say just wash your hands of it.

sometimes it's best to use those interactions as markers about who to associate with. some people just don't mesh well, unfortunately.

if lines are crossed and it's a continued issue, feel free to always reach out to staff to handle de-escalations, and use that handy ignore button if you have to.

 

[Ech0]

All good advice. If it is their first message/ response, simply leave the conversation and try not to absorb their negativity. It can be a difficult thing, especially if it was not provoked in the first place, but try not to waste too much energy on that.

I've been short in my responses with people before and when that happens I suck up my pride and reach out and apologise, (I've done it before, I am sure I will do it again), but even then, once the apology is said, it is out of my hands and I move on.

*pats* I hope what everyone has said helps some.

 

[knockknock]

All good advice. If it is their first message/ response, simply leave the conversation and try not to absorb their negativity. It can be a difficult thing, especially if it was not provoked in the first place, but try not to waste too much energy on that.

I've been short in my responses with people before and when that happens I suck up my pride and reach out and apologise, (I've done it before, I am sure I will do it again), but even then, once the apology is said, it is out of my hands and I move on.

*pats* I hope what everyone has said helps some.

It does. I cannot imagine you being rude to anyone though

 

[knockknock]

the important thing to remind yourself is that you're only able to control your own responses and actions. if you're being completely reasonable, and someone gets their 'panties in a bunch', there's little you can do / could have done to prevent it from happening. apologizing is always a good step, but once again, you're only in control of how you handle something. if they're still rude even after apologizing and trying to find a common ground, i'd say just wash your hands of it.

sometimes it's best to use those interactions as markers about who to associate with. some people just don't mesh well, unfortunately.

if lines are crossed and it's a continued issue, feel free to always reach out to staff to handle de-escalations, and use that handy ignore button if you have to.

Nothing has really crossed the line. I just am kind of annoyed with me. I am never rude to anyone. But you are right, only person I can control is myself

 

[knockknock]

Someone saw my RT and used that as an excuse to be a jerk in my inbox? I've never had that happen before, but I'd simply ignore them and leave the conversation; if what they said was particularly insulting, I'd report the message too -- if they're being toxic to you there's a good chance they're doing the same to other people.

I have had interactions where someone responded to my thread and I sent something back that they saw as a reason to rant at me, and nowadays I do the same as the above: report it if I think it's reportable, leave the convo, and ignore the sender. Giving them any more attention is a waste of your time.

Of course, if I've been playing with someone for a while and they say something that comes across as rude, I try to talk it over first. Knowing my RP partners, it's typically just a misunderstanding that can easily be resolved.

These have not been any people I have been writing with. Mostly people I have struck up a conversation with and then they just get rude. I usually apologize or ignore them. Just sort of getting tired of it

 

[Anarchia]

I have found in the past that some people can get quite passionate when it comes to rp and sometimes that passion can come out in a rude way. Although I don't think it's any excuse as you would hope that someone you're going to be writing with has basic manners and etiquette and if they're not happy with something they could talk through it in a reasonable manner, I also do think it can stem from people unable to compromise with their partner which is an essential part in that initial introduction to make sure you're both happy with the rp going forward.

Ultimately if someone is been rude within the first few messages that's probably indicative that's what they'll be like going forward and life is far too short to take any abuse over writing which should be an enjoyable experience, I would move on and forget about it as hard as that can be sometimes.

Apologising is always good but communication needs to come from both parties if something's been misunderstood.

 

[Ech0]

It does. I cannot imagine you being rude to anyone though

I have been I shouldn't have been, more than a few times. I should know better than to reply to things when I the imposter syndrome is hitting me hard. :/ My sarcasm is drier and comes off much more rude than I intended, and I don't ever really intend to sound rude... (a time or two before I learned to walk away, had been on purpose, I will shamefully admit, but they had been rude first, not that it makes it any better). I am working on it, but, it's like battling Gravity


Edit: I realize that by admittance this does not paint me in a positive light. I would rather be open about being human and making mistakes than claiming otherwise. And I do make up for the majority of mistakes made.
To clarify, I am generally nice until given a reason not to be...

 

[Father Figure]

I do not know exactly the text or rudeness you came across, but it seems an important thing to remember is how hard it is to determine tone without body language and inflection. Often there is a measure of projection that plays out online. Something said in jest, like EchO suggested with a sense of dry humor and sarcasm, might be taken in a very poor light by one person and understood in the spirit it was intended by another. Something a person takes for granted as easily understood could be very hard for another to grasp. Sometimes it's best to try to take everything someone says in the most positive light possible, something we all fail at sometimes, and ask ourselves if this was actively meant as rude or if perception plays a role.

 

[Ech0]

I do not know exactly the text or rudeness you came across, but it seems an important thing to remember is how hard it is to determine tone without body language and inflection. Often there is a measure of projection that plays out online. Something said in jest, like EchO suggested with a sense of dry humor and sarcasm, might be taken in a very poor light by one person and understood in the spirit it was intended by another. Something a person takes for granted as easily understood could be very hard for another to grasp. Sometimes it's best to try to take everything someone says in the most positive light possible, something we all fail at sometimes, and ask ourselves if this was actively meant as rude or if perception plays a role.

^This too...

I forget often that most people cannae see how animated I am when things are said/relayed and while in person, one can see the raised eyebrow or funny look on the face, it is often misinterpreted online as just being a dick. <-- which I don't mean to be mean to be most times. Growing up in a home where sarcasm was its own language, it can be harder to convey that if the person doesn't know you, or is not right in front of you to pick up on those kinds of cues.

 

[Seranda]

I have been rude before and have seen both ends. Where someone tries to understand where my negativity is coming from, and others who don't bother to write anything back. For me, I would probably want to try to resolve the issue, but sometimes I just cannot be bothered with how some people here speak to me.

Ignoring the message or blocking the user are simple solutions for me.

Once the rudeness begins, its a matter of tit for tat until you reply and see the other person has left the conversation.

 

[knockknock]

I have been rude before and have seen both ends. Where someone tries to understand where my negativity is coming from, and others who don't bother to write anything back. For me, I would probably want to try to resolve the issue, but sometimes I just cannot be bothered with how some people here speak to me.

Ignoring the message or blocking the user are simple solutions for me.

Once the rudeness begins, its a matter of tit for tat until you reply and see the other person has left the conversation.

I usually just ignore them. I just find being rude uncomfortable. I just wish I knew why people were rude. Usually from my perspective they find out what I am into and it starts there. I think ibwould rather just be ignored than talked down to. In that context anyway

 

[Seranda]

Some people like myself do get a weird surge of enjoyment in being absolute asshats to people. Makes you feel powerful that you can manipulate their emotions as such.

Still, it’s not good to be rude to people. What goes around comes around, and you never know when someone’s rudeness will ruin more than just your day.

 

[knockknock]

Some people like myself do get a weird surge of enjoyment in being absolute asshats to people. Makes you feel powerful that you can manipulate their emotions as such.

Still, it’s not good to be rude to people. What goes around comes around, and you never know when someone’s rudeness will ruin more than just your day.

Agreed. Thanks for responding

 

[knockknock]

I do not know exactly the text or rudeness you came across, but it seems an important thing to remember is how hard it is to determine tone without body language and inflection. Often there is a measure of projection that plays out online. Something said in jest, like EchO suggested with a sense of dry humor and sarcasm, might be taken in a very poor light by one person and understood in the spirit it was intended by another. Something a person takes for granted as easily understood could be very hard for another to grasp. Sometimes it's best to try to take everything someone says in the most positive light possible, something we all fail at sometimes, and ask ourselves if this was actively meant as rude or if perception plays a role.

I get sarcasm. I am very sarcastic. I am talking about people who are flat out ride. Curse, insult or just in other ways put me down for the things I'm asking for or am into

 

[Father Figure]

I get sarcasm. I am very sarcastic. I am talking about people who are flat out ride. Curse, insult or just in other ways put me down for the things I'm asking for or am into

Then I think I would refer back to what Cyx said earlier. Someone cussing at you, insulting you, or putting you down is very definitely crossing a line and very much report worthy.

 

[Revelations]

If someone is actually like flinging insults or being super rude in an offensive manner, the best I can say is report them. Staff may not act the first time of course, but, if we have multiple reports about a user being that rude to other people we'll act on it.

 

[knockknock]

If someone is actually like flinging insults or being super rude in an offensive manner, the best I can say is report them. Staff may not act the first time of course, but, if we have multiple reports about a user being that rude to other people we'll act on it.

Ok. I will keep thst in mind, thank you

 

[Baka]

I usually opt to what most people here have said already, which is just block the user and move on, unless I think there might've been some communication error along the way, in which case I try to solve it. On BMR this has only happened to me once gladly, and in this instant I just left the convo, locked it and ignored the user.

While I have had the urge to tell people who have been rude to me to f right off and so forth I just see it as waste of my time, and people who disrespect me or are outright rude to me are not worth it.

 

[Revelations]

And then after you report them - it's probably best to block them, leave the conversation(s) you're involved in with them, and move on. Easier said than done if something stings and kinda leaves you bummed I know - but there are plenty of nice people on BMR and letting the rude dudes sit in their pile of anger while you look for greener pastures is the winning move IMO.

 

[knockknock]

I usually opt to what most people here have said already, which is just block the user and move on, unless I think there might've been some communication error along the way, in which case I try to solve it. On BMR this has only happened to me once gladly, and in this instant I just left the convo, locked it and ignored the user.

While I have had the urge to tell people who have been rude to me to f right off and so forth I just see it as waste of my time, and people who disrespect me or are outright rude to me are not worth it.

It has happened to me a couple of times. And I usually just ignore them. I guess I just feel like this is a safe place where we should be able to express ourselves freely and without judgement. I have just been shocked by some of the responses I have gotten

 

[SoleAccord]

Depends.

Sometimes it's funnier to stand on business and return that same energy back twice as hard... and other times, its funnier to not say anything and keep it pushing lmao. Just do the funniest thing you can and don't take it personal.

 

[Tinkerer Nadia]

I was curious how you might go about responding to someone who responds to a request in a rude manner? I have come across it a few times and I usually apologize for upsetting them or being a bother. But it annoys me that alot of times that courtesy is not returned.

Depends on what you mean by a rude response, as there are a LOT of ways once can do that.

So, I will speak generally. The best thing to do is simply roll your eyes and find a new partner if they are a new writer to you, but if it's a long time friend at least try and find out wtf is up. If you care for and value that person you should not allow them to treat you that way, but life can be hard on people so I would at least tell them off and demand to know what crawled up their butt.

Generally though I just ignore and move on from rude people on here. Not worth my time, or yours.