Why do I struggle finding patners?

[knockknock]

am a friendly person. I am never rude and considerate of what others like and do not like. Sure, I like things I like and would love to explore those things. But I never force my likes on anyone. I am even very flexible and try to incorporate other people's ideas and likes into any scene we discuss. However, people are just so turned off by either my preferences or me in general. I guess I just dont understand why I'm doing wrong? Anyone else have similar issues? Anybody have any helpful advice? I just wanna meet some friendly folks who I can plot and write with.

 

[knockknock]

I'm going to guess, just looking at your threads, that the pool of people looking for exactly the type of kink and plot that you're looking for is just smaller than average. I don't see these kinks very often with female writers, so unless you open up your plots/themes a bit more, it's likely you'll just have to wait for partners that suit your exact kinks to be looking for new plots. Niche writing is going to take much longer than being open to other ideas is.

You make a valid point. It's very niche indeed. And I have been patient and will continue to do so. Just frustrating. But I really appreciate your input

 

[e v i e]

I'm going to share my thoughts as well, if that's okay!​

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First of all, being nice in the roleplaying world doesn't really get you any partners. It's wonderful when partners are polite and also open to discussing plots, kinks and settings, but it's often our preferences that make it difficult for us to proceed. Although we all love roleplaying and writing, we've all got different preferences, meaning we like to roleplay different things. The majority like a variety of things, which makes it "easy" to find partners. Others -- such as myself and probably also you -- only like a small fraction of what's out there, so we struggle to find partners. And if we do find someone who shares the same preferences as us, we also have to take other things into consideration. Writing style, kinks, communication skills, etc. We might not be compatible after all....​

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What I am trying to say is, you can do everything right, and still end up empty-handed. It has nothing to do with you as a person, or even as a roleplayer. It has everything to do with your preferences. ​

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Roleplaying is a hobby for us, and we often have lives outside of Blue Moon. This means that our time here is valuable and often limited. I never start a roleplay I wouldn't enjoy. I even tend to drop roleplays rather quickly because I lose interest. I think female writers are just picky in general when it comes to partners and plots (maybe even kinks too). But that being said, I would never tell anyone to change their preferences, as I would never change mine. If you know what you want, wait until you get it.​

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I know it's frustrating. Sometimes it even sucks. But be patient, and I am sure the right partner(s) will find you. Or you'll find them, whatever comes first!​

 

[knockknock]

I'm going to share my thoughts as well, if that's okay!

First of all, being nice in the roleplaying world doesn't really get you any partners. It's wonderful when partners are polite and also open to discussing plots, kinks and settings, but it's often our preferences that make it difficult for us to proceed. Although we all love roleplaying and writing, we've all got different preferences, meaning we like to roleplay different things. The majority like a variety of things, which makes it "easy" to find partners. Others -- such as myself and probably also you -- only like a small fraction of what's out there, so we struggle to find partners. And if we do find someone who shares the same preferences as us, we also have to take other things into consideration. Writing style, kinks, communication skills, etc. We might not be compatible after all....

What I am trying to say is, you can do everything right, and still end up empty-handed. It has nothing to do with you as a person, or even as a roleplayer. It has everything to do with your preferences.

Roleplaying is a hobby for us, and we often have lives outside of Blue Moon. This means that our time here is valuable and often limited. I never start a roleplay I wouldn't enjoy. I even tend to drop roleplays rather quickly because I lose interest. I think female writers are just picky in general when it comes to partners and plots (maybe even kinks too). But that being said, I would never tell anyone to change their preferences, as I would never change mine. If you know what you want, wait until you get it.

I know it's frustrating. Sometimes it even sucks. But be patient, and I am sure the right partner(s) will find you. Or you'll find them, whatever comes first!​

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. You hit all the nails on the head here. I know the things I am into are niche and turn quite alot if people away. Cuckolding specifically is listed in so many people's "offs". That being said I want to explore it in a fun and interesting way. It is very frustrating but worth the wait. And I know you're right, there have to be compatible partners out there. Just seems like I've been waiting forever. It won't stop me from waiting. I know when we find one another it will be worth it, for me and for them.

 

[e v i e]

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. You hit all the nails on the head here. I know the things I am into are niche and turn quite alot if people away. Cuckolding specifically is listed in so many people's "offs". That being said I want to explore it in a fun and interesting way. It is very frustrating but worth the wait. And I know you're right, there have to be compatible partners out there. Just seems like I've been waiting forever. It won't stop me from waiting. I know when we find one another it will be worth it, for me and for them.

You're welcome! I'm picky about things too, leaning into dark themes without much smut. Most male writers on this site prefer at least 50% smut, while I'm okay with 10%. But when you find the right partner(s), you just click. And it's wonderful! It's a waste of time trying to convince the wrong people to roleplay with you. It's also a waste of time to start roleplays you won't enjoy just to please your partner(s). I used to do that in the past, saying yes to everyone who wanted to roleplay and I got burned out so fast.

I am positive that you will find someone soon enough!

 

[knockknock]

You're welcome! I'm picky about things too, leaning into dark themes without much smut. Most male writers on this site prefer at least 50% smut, while I'm okay with 10%. But when you find the right partner(s), you just click. And it's wonderful! It's a waste of time trying to convince the wrong people to roleplay with you. It's also a waste of time to start roleplays you won't enjoy just to please your partner(s). I used to do that in the past, saying yes to everyone who wanted to roleplay and I got burned out so fast.

I am positive that you will find someone soon enough!

Let's hope so. I need to add a few things and update my thread. Getting alot of good information. And while smut based I prefer the story building up and after the smut to the smut. But your positive outlook is welcomed and appreciated

 

[e v i e]

Let's hope so. I need to add a few things and update my thread. Getting alot of good information. And while smut based I prefer the story building up and after the smut to the smut. But your positive outlook is welcomed and appreciated

I'm always happy to encourage fellow roleplayers!

It might be slow, but if we give up, we'll never find any partners.

 

[Seranda]

I don't see any issues with your likes and preferences. Many match my own. Cheating and cuckholding are excellent for material, but I'll be honest, I really don't go digging around in what boys want, let them come to me. They all want a harem. Screw harems.

Edit: All of your plots are good. Basic. Simple. But that's the best part.

 

[Silvered Sutures]

Realistically, check out the Female Requests, Male Requests, and Non-Binary Requests. Pay extra attention to the "Views" section. Look at the titles of the ones with the most views, then look at the ones with the fewest views.

 

[likola]

Like people are saying, it is probably just the kink as well as the role you want the other person to play being slightly rigid. I understand, I have some very dark / unusual kinks myself that have not gotten the bites I thought they would. Have you tried searching for "cuckolding" in the search function in the upper right to see if any recent request threads match your interest? You probably have, so no worries on that, just a suggestion. I wish you luck, nothing wrong with it from my perspective ^_^

 

[Strange Days]

I think you're already doing the right thing by being pleasant on-site and reflecting on how you might improve on your RT. I took a look at it, and I can't say there is anything that would put me off if we shared Kinks in common.

Unfortunately I do think that the Mx RT sections tend to get way more clogged than the Fx ones - I can usually find my posts in the latter even after several hours after I bumped, but I can't say the same for the former.

Lastly, and this may be an odd question : but have you ever thought about the site's population? I have found a lot of the writers on here tend to range from people in their early 20s (like me), to those 30/35+, and that might factor into the interest that those groups hold for certain themes, as well as choosing whether or not to approach a potential partner knowing they might not mesh.

I'm saying this because I have experienced some form of disconnect from older writers - who typically tend to be people that are quite set in their ways, with more experience both IRL and as far as writing goes, and usually happen to have less in common with a person that might have grown up in a different era altogether than them.

This is just a thought! As I said, I think your interest checks look good. No bright eyebleed-inducing colors, small fonts that are hard to read, or very vague plot premises. It's a clean read.

 

[knockknock]

I think you're already doing the right thing by being pleasant on-site and reflecting on how you might improve on your RT. I took a look at it, and I can't say there is anything that would put me off if we shared Kinks in common.

Unfortunately I do think that the Mx RT sections tend to get way more clogged than the Fx ones - I can usually find my posts in the latter even after several hours after I bumped, but I can't say the same for the former.

Lastly, and this may be an odd question : but have you ever thought about the site's population? I have found a lot of the writers on here tend to range from people in their early 20s (like me), to those 30/35+, and that might factor into the interest that those groups hold for certain themes, as well as choosing whether or not to approach a potential partner knowing they might not mesh.

I'm saying this because I have experienced some form of disconnect from older writers - who typically tend to be people that are quite set in their ways, with more experience both IRL and as far as writing goes, and usually happen to have less in common with a person that might have grown up in a different era altogether than them.

This is just a thought! As I said, I think your interest checks look good. No bright eyebleed-inducing colors, small fonts that are hard to read, or very vague plot premises. It's a clean read.

Thank you. Maybe there is a disconnect, though I do feel I am very open minded. But that doesn't mean I am really aware if I am not. Also yea the Mx is alot busier than it's female counterpart. I am sure I get lost in the mix.

 

[Dion]

I think there are a few exceptions to this, but at the risk of saying something controversial (oooOOOooooOOhhh..) I do think that the rule of thumb seems to be that the male roleplayers do the messaging, the female roleplayers tend to do the receiving of messages. What I mean by that is: as a male roleplayer, or rather, a roleplayer that plays male roles, you might have to be proactive in your search and can't rely solely on your interest check/request thread to get bites for what you want to write about.

 

[Silvered Sutures]

Ultimately, I'd recommend reading the Guide to Writing a Good Request Thread if you haven't already.

 

[Siph]

I definitely think this is a case where the F-supply is far smaller than the M-demand, judging by the number of responses I received (and occasionally still receive) to my old cuckolding-themed threads in the female section.

However, keep in mind that a lot of people won't click on a thread unless they think they'll be interested in its contents, and even though you're looking for something very specific and concrete, the title doesn't give me any clue as to what your thread is about. Nondescriptive titles like "Specific cravings" and "My RP ideas" simply fail to catch a big audience and easily drown in a sea of threads with similarly generic titles.

Don't be afraid to be on the nose with your titles, or even the thread text itself (notice that the first paragraph still barely tells me what you're looking for). Yes, that means that people who aren't into cuckolding/hotwifing won't click on your thread, but they wouldn't be interested in it anyways; it will, however, catch the attention of people who are into those kinks. Here's some ideas for titles:
"Consensual Cuckolding & Corruption -- A Hot Wife's Tale"
"Looking for Hot Wives for Long-Term Cuckolding Stories"
"That Time My Wife Had Sex With Another Man And I Kinda Liked It!?"
"Exploring the Cuckolding Lifestyle"

Second, don't be afraid to change things, especially the title. Although it definitely helps to ask for advice from others, the only way you'll find out what works and doesn't work is to experiment. Maybe change around the order in which you present your ideas. Maybe present them as a list, or maybe add some ideas for other kinks you can include. Maybe add images. Maybe remove them if they don't seem to help, or change them to something else.

I've had (still have) request threads for incredibly niche kinks, and I've found that the easiest way to draw new attention to them is changing up the title. Simply bumping it will barely help in that regard.

Also, while I don't think this affects the number of responses you receive, the MxAny tag is generally used if you're looking to play opposite characters of any gender. I understand you're looking for a partner that plays a female character, so I think the MxF tag would be more suitable.

Good luck!

 

[MysteriousD]

I think there are a few exceptions to this, but at the risk of saying something controversial (oooOOOooooOOhhh..) I do think that the rule of thumb seems to be that the male roleplayers do the messaging, the female roleplayers tend to do the receiving of messages. What I mean by that is: as a male roleplayer, or rather, a roleplayer that plays male roles, you might have to be proactive in your search and can't rely solely on your interest check/request thread to get bites for what you want to write about.

Yeah, this is definitely the case in my experience. Have to be proactive in your search and be ready to be flexible and compromsing. Otherwise, you won't find a partner here.