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It's the time of my usual yapping/copium!
How's it going Baka?
Better, but not great.
Slow but steady lifestyle changes have been making me feel better physically. Without going any deeper into my personal health many things that stressed me out before and made me worry about my health have actually gone away, or significantly weakened, so it seems I am doing something right. I should look more what I eat, but one step at the time as they say.
However to offset that I have been sick basically this whole month, and for some reason my toe was hurting like hell for almost three weeks. Not sure what even happened to it. It just started to hurt like hell while I was walking at the wedding I attended to, made walking a total pain for two following weeks till it just went away, so couldn't really go out and to walk which has always been my exercise of choice, but the pain is now away, and I can do my imprompt midnight store-runs and walks as I please.
Mental health is what it is. Got slapped with a mild to moderate depression diagnosis, so back in therapy and shit.
Other than that it's been same-old same-old. Going to attend a convention in two weeks, so most likely will post my loots here like last time. Need to do couple of changes to my cosplay which will keep me busy a while...
Also my dad is getting a new dog, which he will go pick-up next week! A bit sad that I don't live at my parents anymore and have to wait a day or two for the puppy to settle in before going to see him, but I understand that me going there when I don't live there would overwhelm the little fellow too much, so I just got to contain myself and visit him at the end of the week...
... Glad that he lives a two - three minute walking distance away so I can just go to see both him and puppy whenever tho!
Roleplaying
In truth: I just feel like a shitty roleplaying partner right now
This might just be my depressed ass speaking, but due my absences and the fact that my OOC has been pretty fickle and spotty as well I feel like I've let my partners down and/or lost their interest. While I know that most likely is not the case and it's just my anxiousness talking, especially when I've never really been a fast replier to either, but just can't help thinking this way. I feel like the hurdle to log-in on the site and seeing all the RPs and OOCs I have yet to reply is mounting, and I am the weird spot where the drive to reply to RPs is there... But at the same time I feel like the
This feeling especially adds if I feel like the OOC-chemistry between me and my partner has died. There are some partners I feel I have great chemistry and I vibe with even if the messages sent have month between them, but there are also cases where I feel like the vibe was lost along the way, and since the good OOC vibes translate to good RP usually the OOC that has lost it's steam does translate to me being more intimidated to reply to RP. Double this if I see/feel the discussion and/or interest towards it dying (in my PoV).
So I guess that I am learning more things about myself as a roleplayer. And good OOC-vibes and the ability to have a casual online friendship plays a lot bigger part for me than I initially though, which is not helped by the fact that I am extremely bad at starting casual conversations and just being an introverted mess who stress over about coming out as an awkward mess when talking and ends up yapping and inflating the OOC discussion to an extent where my partner gets annoyed and or bored of my yapping.
Literally me when I type any OOC message
So yeah... Not sure where I am going with my roleplaying at the moment. I try to take one step at a time with it as well and see how it goes.
Once again if you're my partner I want to thank you for the patience you have for me and my wonky butt. I try to get at you as soon as possible, and if you've lost the drive or motivation to our play while waiting I totally understand and wish you the best in your other RPs and such! Thanks for giving a Baka™ a try!