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[WB] Mousy Diary

Ajax

Meteorite
Joined
Apr 1, 2022
This is the beginnings of a diary being written for a slice-of-life story about a Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship.

Entries that follow are a draft start.
 
My name is Mouse, and welcome to my Diary. Actually. My real name is David, but Mouse is more of a pet name, if you will. Mouse, Mousey or Lil Mousey are the most common ways I'm referred to anymore. How I got the name is sorta funny, now that I look back on how this whole thing got started.

Mouse is a reference to a little metaphor i made up early on after i met Lila. One day, early on, I had jokingly referred to myself as a 'Mouse in a Python's Den'. It came up as I was speaking of the power she had over me, that she could just pounce and crush me any time she chose. I said so once when I felt awfully lucky she let me off the hook from a sticky situation. The term stuck ever since and we've always had fun with the situation, and metaphor, ever since. Lila does still have the power to crush me at her will to thus day, so the name certainly still fits. Trust me, dear reader, I do make it a point to stay in her good graces so that she doesnt.

This situation that I refer to is an interesting paradox of logic. You see, I am technically, and in all practical respects, Lila's slave. It's a paradox in a way, because I willingly came into this role over time, through various steps, some large, some small, until we established what is now many refer to as a Total Power Exchange or TPE for short. I could PROBABLY get out of it if I really wanted to. I mean, slavery isn't actually a legal thing in the US! She doesn't actually 'own' me in the sense that could legally stand up in court. We have, however, gone to extreme measures to make it so. Trust me, it would be virtually impossible to get out from this arrangement anymore and this diary is my effort to document how we did it and how absolutely exciting it is to live out. I love Lila and I am proud and happy to be hers this way.

I'm also excited to document my situation and give you daily updates as to how this is going. It's an exercise of my state of mind and the powerful effect of this relationship we both wanted to document. Who knows, maybe my writing can be used to show the way to the next one, my replacement, perhaps. It also is purposeful in that anyone reading it will know this is my will. Lila DOES have quite an advantage over me in life. Like that metaphor of the python, she could crush me in so many ways. Yet, I have allowed her to have that power and I have done so willingly.
 
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I'm writing this diary from my bedroom. It's rather basic, but it's functional. I have an adequate twin bed, a small desk, a dresser and closet and enough space to practice music, my one main hobby that is entirely mine apart from serving her. This room is my own, for the most part a d it also serves as my home office as I am able to work from home full-time. Lila is at work while I write this, and it's still early in the morning. I'll need took on to start my day soon.

I wanted to start this diary with an entry about my routine during the weekdays. It will make a good foundation and in later posts I plan to derail for you the way this all.came to pass and, of course, document some of our .ore interesting interactions.

Lila's routine is a tough one as she has to rise when the rest of the world is sleeping. She loves her job and I'm proud of her in how passionate she is about it, but waking at 2 am still sucks. I'm her slave, so its not like she let's never sleep while she gets ready

When I get up, every day, there two constants in my life, now, that really serve as permanent reminder of my status in this home. I wear a small, locked charity cage that hasn't been removed for months. More often than not, I am wearing a locked head harness as well. Both have become familiar but took a lot of getting used to. They are both quite obtrusive, in their own ways and require a degree of extra effort to keep clean. The chastity device can sometimes fade away from feeling so 'bitey' but every morning, there's always and ache and a strain there. The head harness comes off for my work, as I need to be on conference calls, but it otherwise remains on, and locked, for the balance of the day and night.

I look at myself in the mirror and see the black leather strap form a veritable cage that encases my head. This one has fittings for either a bit, or a ball gag, or just a mouth covering, depending on Lila's mood or needs. For sleep, she usually let's me go with the bit. It's presence keeps my jaw open slightly, but I can manage to close my lips and swallow. Talking is not practical, though I can communicate enough, if needed.

I never know how deeply psychological these two instruments of slavery would be, but let me state here for the record, they are quite humbling.

In the morning, I usually put on a large shirt. I've served her naked before, which does make me more vulnerable on those days. For Lila's part, she might decide to tell me to take the shirt off, just because. Much if my existence depends on her mood and sometimes, her orneryness. Being allowed a shirt is a luxury I've managed to earn and I'm often grateful for the comfort of it, though I am acutely aware that it can be ordered off at any time. It might be because she wants to take it away, other times, it might be to expose flesh to her crop, a right she always claims. I dread those times, but knowing it is always part of her repertoire of discipline keeps me on my toes.

Lila doesn't like to talk much when she's getting ready. I stay out of her way as much as possible, though. I get her coffee, and wait for a command on what she wants prepared for breakfast. I'm not a bad cook and actually like making breakfasts. I've been able to surprise her with some creations on days off. Workdays are usually more of an efficient routine to help get her on her way. I'll pack her lunch on her direction, too.

Lila likes to get ready by herself before work, though sometimes on days off I do get to help her, which is a special treat for me. Whats nice on work days, though, is that by the time she sits down to eat what I've prepared, she has some time to chat. Sometimes its playful, most of the time it's structured around serring some expectations for the day.

Today, she looked at her phone.
"Oh, good, you get paid today," she said in a matter of fact way. It was true, today is pay day, only I don't see the deposit any more. One of the more important aspects of being her slave was her talking over my finances. That part is still taking some getting used to for probably more reasons than you can imagine. It's obviously pretty dangerous to turn your life's resources over to someone else, but we had to look at this part long and hard before I agreed to do it. Ultimately, now that it's done, I can tell you that these paydays are worth it. I stood finishing plating her breakfast as she said that with a devilish smile. My income has helped her income a great deal. I had a fear that she'd be wasteful with it, but she's a smart, prudent person. Yes, there are small luxuries she enjoys, maybe now more than before, but it all, I've just been absorbed into her life in all ways and everything is for her. In exchange, I get to be here...and serve.

I felt myself start to swell in my chastity cage as I thought back to her taking my life over and how in this very moment, a very real aspect of that was true. Payday and I see none of it. That fact alone has made my dependence on her rather complete. One cannot operate in society without access to money. That's all hers now, and always will be.

It's interesting writing my diary on payday. I can't express enough how powerless I feel anymore but to do well by Lila. I can't go anywhere. My chastity device is locked on. My head is encased in leather straps. We're discussing some tattoos and permanent markings for my body, more to come on that. The feelings are more intense than I ever fantasized they woikd be and now it is my life.

I look at Lila and bring her the breakfast and coffee she requested. Then, I take a position at the table kneeling. She nonchalantly gives me a list of some house chores to do between this dreadfully early hour and my work start time. Today was laundry and vacuuming the living room, then cleaning the bath. I had just enough time before work.

The lock on my head harness is controlled by an app on her phone. I needed to check I'm to ask that is be unlocked as I have some video meetings today.

This is my typical morning routine now.

I will document some of our more interesting activities in posts to come.

I will close this first diary entry with this affirmation.

I love being Lila's slave. She is powerful. She is deserving. She is everything.
 
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