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Star Trek Iliad: Stephens & T'Vara in Valhalla

Alex had expected T'Vara to respond like this. After all, she is Vulcan. But he noticed two things, in addition to her words. The first was that she did not pull away from his touch. Whether or not she'd somehow forgotten to do so, or some part of her did not wish to fully push him away was unclear, but he decided to be optimistic and assume the latter case. The second was how she'd adjusted the collar of her uniform. Hopefully she wasn't getting drunk, as he'd hate for any subsequent decisions she made to be under the influence of alcohol. At any rate, he had the chance to respond, so he cleared his throat and did so now. "I can only promise to be as impartial as I can be, Lieutenant. And as for your comment about infatuation, perhaps you are correct in that assessment. But don't we owe it to ourselves to find out?" As he'd spoken, he was leaning closer and closer, until their faces were only about a dozen centimeters apart. "Don't we owe it to ourselves to take the risk? There is little in life that's both worthwhile and easy."
 
T’Vara didn’t draw back as Stephens drew closer, but she did press her free hand firmly against his chest. She didn’t push back with any real force; just enough to bar his advance, and keep him from closing the last short distance between them. At that range, she could hardly avoid staring into his eyes. Her brow was still furrowed in concern, her dark gaze piercing his own. She could feel the swell of his musculature beneath the fabric of his uniform, and, more faintly, his heartbeat, so strangely positioned relative to a Vulcan’s. She forced herself to ignore those sensations, and the heat of the mead still suffusing her body.

“It does not follow that a thing being difficult, in and of itself, makes it worthwhile,” she countered, unable to resist the logical flaw in his reasoning. To her own ears she sounded suddenly like her mother or father, during one of the many, many arguments that had preceded her departure for Starfleet. She refused to allow the thought to distract her. “If we owe ourselves anything, Commander, it is that we think through the likely consequences of our actions.”

And that was her concern, really. She was worried that the second officer was allowing himself to be swept away in human emotion, acting on an impulse without considering the consequences it might bring. It frightened her. It was easy to make promises in the moment; much harder to actually live up to them, especially with a Vulcan’s self-control.

But on the other hand… was she just rehashing old arguments she’d had with herself? She’d been so quick to point out the dangers inherent to his interest, to force him onto the defensive. She’d hardly given him room to explain himself, to make his own argument. Her mind flashed back, again, to her last argument with her parents. T’Vara considered Stephens in silence again for a moment, and then her sharp gaze seemed to soften, just a little.

“Why do you believe this is worth pursuing?” she asked, a slight, curious tilt of her head accompanying the question. “We have only known each other for one day, and I am sure there are plenty of other available women and men aboard this ship who would not have the concerns about your rank and position that I do. Why me?”
 
"I suppose you're right," Stephens finally said, in response to T'Vara's comment about thinking things through. "There would certainly be consequences to sort through, some of which may be insurmountable." He leaned back to a less intimate, but still friendly distance. "I guess the mead might've had something to do with it. Although I suppose..." The Lt. Commander trailed off, taking another sip of the mead, before continuing. A bit of liquid courage, perhaps. "I suppose," he continued, "there's a part of me, however small, that buys into that silly human trope that harkens back to the early days of human-Vulcan cooperation: that successfully seducing a Vulcan, and getting them to, well, sleep with you, is some sort of accomplishment. It's ridiculous, I know, and I apologize for even saying so, but I suppose you already had some idea that that was a thing." Shrugging his shoulders, he took another sip of his mead before continuing, "I guess most of the reason I said what I said, is because I admire you, to put it plainly. It's difficult to explain, and to be quite honest, I'm not even sure it's at all possible to explain it." Rolling his shoulders, he leaned back to stretch a little before returning to his previous pose. "I guess I probably should just let it be. Like you said, we've known each other for less than a day. Although, I suppose it's not too much to ask if we can work towards being friends, right?" For the first time since he went down this wild course of conversation, his face broke into a smile from the nervous, slightly embarrassed state it was in before. "Besides, I could've sworn that we set out with a First Officer, but when I checked the manifest, there was none. As such, I may be due a promotion soon, which means that those complications you spoke of, will be even more complicated. And, well, I'd definitely not want those to ruin the possibility of being your friend." The smile on his face widened as he said, "And for what it's worth, I think you have all the hallmarks of a great officer. A great Chief Science Officer, certainly, and perhaps one day, a great Captain." Holding up his tankard for a toast, he said, "To our Odyssey, and all the diverse people we share it with."
 
T’Vara kept Stephens fixed with her silent, tilted stare as he tried to explain. Her gaze didn’t shift as he sipped at his drink, motionless from the moment the tankard touched his lips to the moment he set it back down. The only hint at an expression was her arched eyebrow, but even that suggested dozens of possible thoughts that could be running through her mind. It was a look the Captain was very familiar with, and if Stephens intended to become the Vulcan’s friend, it was one he’d likely be seeing a lot of, too.

Oh, there were thoughts running through her head, alright. But she chose not to voice most of them.

“... you are infatuated,” she said at last. “And drunk. Take a long shower, Commander. It will pass.”

She drew her hand back from the table — the hand that had been resting under his a few moments ago — and placed it on the side of her mug, then gave him another slight tilt of her head, a half-nod in the face of his embarrassed smile. “But I am willing to work towards a friendship with you. To the Odyssey.”

Raising her mug, she chinked it against his — as she understood the custom went — then took a sip herself, though only a small one this time. She was beginning to understand the danger that the drink posed, even to a Vulcan constitution. In fact, she could tell that it had already had an effect on her. She was finding it extremely tempting to voice some of those earlier thoughts.

She couldn’t really see a reason not to.

“Do humans really believe such foolish things?” She asked abruptly, after a moment’s silence. “Why? What possible rational explanation could you have for thinking of sex as an accomplishment? It is a straightforward biological drive, like any other. If a Vulcan did choose a human as their partner, I suppose that would be a compliment to human, but to interpret that as some kind of victory? As though the human were so irresistible that the Vulcan could not help herself? Utterly illogical. Vulcans are not even susceptible to such seductions; that is just human projection.”

T’Vara wasn’t agitated, exactly; she maintained an even tone throughout her tirade, but she was speaking a little more quickly than before, and her eyes were on something in the distance rather than on Stephens. A group of nearby crewmembers had clearly overheard the conversation, and were doing their best not to look like they were listening. T’Vara ignored them, and turned back to fix the Commander with another intense stare, her eyebrows knotted for a moment in what might have been concern.

“Just how widespread is this belief, Commander? If… for example, if a human and a Vulcan Starfleet cadet were to sleep together, would the human consider that an achievement worth bragging about to the other students? Would that have been his motivation for entering the relationship in the first place?”
 
"It already has passed, T'Vara," Stephens assured the Vulcan, referring to the aforementioned infatuation, and took an extremely cautious sip of the mead after their toast. When she began to abruptly ask about the "foolish things" Humans believed, his eyebrows shot up into his hairline, or at least that's how it felt. But he figured that the truth would go over much better than a lie, and trying to stop her or quiet her down might prove disastrous. So he just let her finish her small tirade, before addressing her statements one at a time. "First off, more humans tended to have such beliefs back in Captain Archer's day, as opposed to now. I cannot speak to the reasons behind it, but for humans and indeed, many other humanoid species, sex is almost inextricably linked to an emotional attachment, even a fleeting one. Thus, it may--repeat, may--be that, since Vulcans are masters at suppressing their emotions, and do not normally engage in sex unless they need to, if someone sleeps with a Vulcan when they do not need to, the other person is left thinking that they managed to elicit an emotional response from the Vulcan. That might be the accomplishment, moreso than the sex itself. If you think that's illogical, I completely agree. But such was humanity back in those days, and still is to some extent." He took a deep breath and commanded the computer to replace their mead with water, after which he took a grateful sip before continuing. "As for the extent of this belief overall, it's not nearly as widespread in this day and age. And honestly, I believe that you're more likely to encounter a Human-Vulcan couple today who are with each other on a long-term basis, because of mutual respect and admiration. Sure, a tiny handful of that already tiny handful of couples may have begun with an Academy tryst, but it didn't end there. Keep in mind, all this is speculation. It would be nearly impossible to conduct any research into the matter." The Commander regarded his new friend with a decidedly concerned expression. "Would you perhaps like to continue this discussion elsewhere? Or maybe you'd like me to escort you to your quarters? The hour grows late and you should rest before we get to the Rigel system."
 
T’Vara did think that was illogical, of course, but she didn’t interrupt the Commander — just gave him a small quirk of her eyebrow to let him know what she thought of that idea. She rose her freshly-transformed water to take a sip as he finished, but quickly noticed that there was something subtly wrong with the taste. Whatever quirk of the holodeck’s replicators had made their mead so strong seemed to be affecting the water, too.

“Not so impossible as you believe,” she murmured into her drink. She didn’t elaborate, but set the tainted water down and considered Stephens with another raised eyebrow. “So you are saying that this belief is not wide-spread, but just that some part of you — however small — is quite old-fashioned? Interesting.”

She might have been teasing him, but as always, it was hard to tell. Her expression was quite serious. The Vulcan gave a small shake of her head, then climbed to her feet and stepped back out over the bench.

“I suspect you require more rest than I do, Commander, but you are right — it has been a long day, and I should meditate before I turn in. There is no need for you to accompany me. I am quite capable of finding my way back.”
 
Stephens also noticed the water was off, and he was more vocal about his distaste for it. "Ugh, should've stuck with the mead! I swear, if Professor O'Brien were here, this ship would be at one-hundred percent in a week!" The old Chief's record spoke for itself, and Stephens had no doubt that his statement was no idle boast. He did in fact catch the sotto comment T'Vara murmured into her drink, and it was a testament to his own self-control that he didn't comment on it. He did, however, file it away in his mind for further discussion later.

When the Vulcan climbed to her feet, so did Alexander. "I am aware you do not necessarily need me to walk you to your quarters, but I would be remiss if I didn't at least make the offer. After all, if you're not used to the mead, you might regret going alone. Are you certain, T'Vara?"
 
T'Vara was certain, but in her time on Earth she'd learned that humans (and especially human males) could be quite tenacious when they believed they were being protective or chivalrous. It could be tiring at times, particularly when their concerns were especially misplaced, but on this occasion she did not mind it too much.

The Vulcan paused for a moment, then inclined her head slightly towards her companion and relented. There was no point in continuing to deny his offer. "Very well, Commander. You may accompany me if you wish."

She set a slow pace and began to lead the way out of the mead hall, weaving past considerably diminished groups of remaining revelers. Most of the Starfleet personnel had had similar thoughts and departed already, but there were still pockets of young crewmen and officers enjoying themselves here and there. T'Vara stayed close enough that the two could easily continue talking; she didn't resume the conversation herself, but did glance over to Stephens, expecting that he would want to fill the silence.
 
Stephens suspected T'Vara might have just agreed to shut him up, in a way, but he wasn't gonna complain. He walked beside the Vulcan and waited until they were in the corridor before turning slightly towards her and asking, "What did you mean earlier when you said to yourself 'Not so impossible as you believe'?" The Commander was asking both out of idle curiosity as well as for more...personal reasons, but he inflected his tone to make it sound like the former. Hopefully, the fact that he'd overheard her despite her attempts to conceal her words--the mead hall was quieting down and he'd also been blessed with good hearing--would not throw her off-guard. Of course, it's hard to tell, with a Vulcan...
 
The question didn’t throw T’Vara off-guard, but it did surprise her. She offered Stephens an apologetic glance as she replied, continuing to lead the way towards the turbolifts as they spoke. “I hadn’t intended to express that thought aloud. I apologize; the mead must be affecting more than I had realized.

“I only meant that there are ways to research Human-Vulcan relationships. There are sociological approaches, of course — gathering and analyzing data, collecting case studies — but there are also more… direct, experimental methods. Ways to determine the boundaries of the possibility space.”

She wasn’t speaking hypothetically. As they walked, the Vulcan reached to tuck the curl of her hair behind her ear — an unusually unconscious and distracted gesture. Her thoughts weren’t entirely with the Commander, but were instead lingering a little in the past.

“I suppose that when you were talking about such relationships and the beliefs some humans hold about them, it reminded me of some of my experiences at the Academy. I believe I mentioned using some of that time to experiment?” She paused for a moment, looking for an affirmation that he remembered, before continuing. “One of my relationships during that time was with a human. Another cadet, actually. Does that surprise you?”
 
Stephens was not, in fact, surprised, based on how T'vara had spoken before, and told her as such. "I would be lying if I wasn't intrigued," he added, allowing the Vulcan to enter the turbolift ahead of him before he followed her inside and said, "Deck Eight, officer's quarters," and a moment later the lift began to move.

Regarding her curiously, the human said, "Is the experiment an ongoing one, or have you decided to keep such frivolities in the past?" The goal was to possibly see if she was willing to add another data point in the form of his person to her experimental pursuits...
 
“It was not frivolous,” T’Vara corrected her companion firmly. She regarded him with an arched eyebrow from the back of the turbolift, where she leant against the support with her hands behind her back as they traveled upwards. After a moment her gaze softened again as she shook her head, and added, “Though that particular relationship was not very long-lived. He was a command student from Nellis’ year. We met at a party, celebrating the end of an exam period. Nellis had invited me, but he left early. He often did that; tried to encourage me to socialize with other students, even though he didn’t leave much time for it himself…”

The Vulcan didn’t smile, but there was a distance and softness to her expression that might as well have been one. She was sure these weren’t the kinds of details Stephens was interested in, but he had said he was intrigued, so she was taking the opportunity to indulge herself anyway.

“In any case, we began to talk, and I found myself intrigued right away.” T’Vara lifted her eyebrow again as she stole Stephen’s word, her eyes sparkling — though whether from the theft or the memory was unclear. “We spent a few very memorable weeks together before we came to the conclusion that the relationship wasn’t what either of us needed. Still, I learned a great deal during that time. About myself, and… other topics.”

She looked to the side of the turbolift for a moment, struck by a thought. “I believe he’s serving aboard the Anaheim now. A junior lieutenant.” She raised her other eyebrow, and added softly, “I suppose I outrank him.”

The science officer shook her head slightly again, then glanced back to Stephens from the side of her eye. “To answer your question, Commander, yes, it is. He was not my most recent partner, nor do I expect them to have been my last. There is still more I wish to explore, even about myself.”
 
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