I am extremely suspicious of three different queer authors I write with being banned for the same rule.

[Sekah]

I'm sure the player(s) will reconnect with you uf they value the roleplays you had. Unless it was some weird "Make excess accounts to get banned" kind of ghost.

But the repeated mention of them being queer or m/m as well as questioning whether m/f roleplayers got banned has me scratching my head.

If you are fishing for -phobias this site would be one of the last places to look. Besides, it's a pretty hefty accusation to toss about while having a hissy fit.

And yet, another queer author in the thread just said they lost three different partners too yesterday. Also, they were all on the temporary ban status, which according to that rule means all their accounts are banned. It’s possible I was catfished. But I don’t know why two queer authors lost 3-6 different writers in one day to the same rule. We might have both been catfished by the same person. Or something funky is going on admin-side. Having been admin on sites with thousands of people, I can tell you admins are people, normal, average, entirely unremarkable people, and perfectly capable of banning under false pretense. In the rp world it happens all the time. I’m not gonna discount it. If you think that makes me paranoid, fine, but I think it would be more paranoid to assume three people I talked to extensively who had different conversation styles, smut interests, and writing styles were catfishing me simply because they all got banned for the same thing. But the coincidence that two different queer smut authors both lost three different partners on the same day - that’s extremely unlikely. There’s 30,000 people on this site, what’s the likelihood we’d both have been catfished by the exact same person, of each had the exact same partners, or 6 partners who were all doing the exact same rule-breaking? Are queer people just six times more likely to break this rule? Nothing about it makes sense.

 

[Sekah]

There’s significantly less M/M writers on the site than M/F, and I mean by an order of ten or twenty at least. You’d expect, then, there’d be more rule-breakers who were M/F, just from statistics. I didn’t lose any of my M/F partners yesterday, and none of you have come forward and said an M/F writer was banned. The only person who lost a partner was a fellow M/M writer. If that’s not suspicious to you, fine, but it certainly is to me. And you know what? If there’s M/M writers on staff, I’ve never seen nor written with them on my year on the site, so it strains my credulity.

 

[Sekah]

But I respect that I’ll never have any idea what happened to me or the other writer who thinks they were catfished. I won’t reply anymore, obviously this is just going to go around in circles as all the admins’ friends and people who enjoy the site come forward and defend their honor. You’re welcome to defend them as much as you want.

 

[ƒeral]

A fundamental rule of statistics is sample size. A few anecdotes do not come anywhere near statistical relevance.

This reminds me of a famous example - when televisions were first introduced to Africa, mortality rate greatly decreased. In fact, if you graphed those against one another, it almost seemed like x more units of tv directly led to an additional percentage decrease in morality rate.

Thus, shall we posit television increases life expectancy?

That's clearly absurd right.

Such is the folly of conflating correlation with cause and effect.

Using your anecdote for example - you lost several partners, all M/M writers, from the same ban. Does that mean the same is caused by some kind of staff prejudice?

The logical leap there closely follow the tv/mortality rate example.

While I'm sorry to hear that you lost partners, I don't consider it fair to immediately assume that the same might be due to some kind of prejudice. Prejudice speaks for itself. To accuse other folks of prejudice without just cause is itself a form of prejudice.

Also, as someone who has written plenty of queer pairings and worked with many writers who write queer pairings, I have never once heard any accusation, even a rumor, of BMR staff persecuting queer writers. That's a pretty strong accusation to levy, so while I understand you are frustrated by the loss of a few writing partners, I would urge you not to chase unfounded conspiracy theories.

 

[Staine]

I'm friendly with the majority of the staff on here, and I can tell you that I have never seen any kind of bigotry from any of them. I've written queer roleplays with some, including ones you are accusing. Like you said earlier, the staff on here are just people, and I think it's a terrible accusation to throw at them for simply performing their role on the site and enforcing rules that are very, very clearly signposted and that people like me ensure that every single member has access to them by linking them in their introduction thread. We do that so that people cannot say they are unaware of the rules, and we are always available for questions if any confusion needs clearing up.

The admins are just doing their volunteer jobs which they do on top of their actual jobs and trying to enjoy the site for themselves, as I'm pretty confident all the staff here are also roleplayers just like us.

 

[Sync]

It sounds like the OP wants there to be a problem here so they can wave the Injustice Flag.

Honestly, while it sucks that you've unfortunately managed to lose three partners in the process, the only real problem through all of this is that your partner(s) broke the site's rules.

If they'd done the right thing and followed site rules by not having more than 5 accounts, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

 

[Mitsu]

lol

I'm not friends with the staff here. I don't even know the staff here, and I have heavily criticized this website while I did have friends on staff. I literally stopped going to this site over a MINOR dispute with staff policy once. I've outright told Vek to his face-- er well screen, that I don't like him or trust him once. If anyone knows me, they know I'm not the sort of person to to give a fuck about friendships, dick sucking, and pussy licking when it comes to me speaking my mind and expressing my opinions.

This site has NEVER operated like the OP claims. If it were true, then some staff member, or friends of a staff member, who hasn't liked me would have gotten me banned. In fact, someone has tried to get me banned in the past. Staff came at me hard after someone doctored some PMs trying to make me look like some kind of harassment harry. I explained it not to be true, revealed what was going on, and staff handled it well. Granted, this was many years ago, and I'm pretty sure none of that staff are currently here. I've also been publicly ridiculed on the Official BMR Podcast back when it was a thing. I've never been popular here, and people have had reasons to try to get rid of me. While none of this speaks to the current staff, it does speak to the long history of this site having pretty good moderation.

I can say, for sure, that the staff is not the problem here.

I'm wondering if this is Sekah's first rodeo on a site like this, or if they've just been blissfully unaware all of this time. People on the Internet are deceptive. They lie and they like to use you to fulfill whatever desires they currently have. The kind of person that has a ton of accounts like that is very much the kind of person that will put on personas and interact with you as if they are all different people. They get some pleasure out of it. It sounds very much like you were interacting with one person and never once realized it. You're on a site full of people that write many a different kinds of characters. Do you really think they can't just write a persona while interacting with you? Believe it or not, the chances of that happening here are FAR HIGHER than the chances of the staff here having some kind of anti-gay agenda.

Catfishing and role-playing sites go together like cocks and assholes. The cocks are always trying to infiltrate the assholes, and the asshole is inevitably abused.

This website still is, and always has been, extremely accepting and tolerant of people's sexuality. It goes so far as to suggest that the role-play request forums are not based on actual gender, but the gender that anyone wants to write as. If that is not accepting of the sliding scale of sexuality and identity, then I don't know what is. Sekah is merely lashing out here, because they lost something they desired. Back when that person tried to get me banned, the fool that was wrapped around the offender's finger also lashed out at me and blamed me for getting their manipulator banned.

Seems like the same thing here.

 

[Sekah]

I think I owe the staff an apology. I reached out to the writer who believed they were catfished, and it turned out they had the exact same three writers as me. That does lead me to believe I was wrong, and most likely either there was some unholy coincidence, or for some reason someone thought they needed to catfish me to get six threads with me, which is ridiculous because I can and have written 20+ threads with one person. I've witnessed people catfishing someone before, and know how blind a victim can be to it, and how painful the revelation can be. I'm sorry to Solo and all the other staff who spoke up. I don't know why this person decided to catfish me or manipulate me, and will continue to hope it was some kind of odd coincidence that struck three different writers.

 

[Yoga Princess]

I think I owe the staff an apology. I reached out to the writer who believed they were catfished, and it turned out they had the exact same three writers as me. That does lead me to believe I was wrong, and most likely either there was some unholy coincidence, or for some reason someone thought they needed to catfish me to get six threads with me, which is ridiculous because I can and have written 20+ threads with one person. I've witnessed people catfishing someone before, and know how blind a victim can be to it, and how painful the revelation can be. I'm sorry to Solo and all the other staff who spoke up. I don't know why this person decided to catfish me or manipulate me, and will continue to hope it was some kind of odd coincidence that struck three different writers.

Maybe you and the other writer who lost the same three writer accounts can write with each other?

 

[Sekah]

Maybe you and the other writer who lost the same three writer accounts can write with each other?

I don't know if they're even looking right now, or what their story likings are, but I can see if they have an active request thread. Eventually I'll find other partners. Just sucks because I'd wanted some of those plots for years, all three writers seemed kind and were dedicated to the stories, and dom non-con M/M writers are a rare breed. Even finding people willing to share the burden of domming is hard. But now that I'm more medicated (I happened to be a schizophrenic who was off their psych meds for about a week thanks to psychiatrist shenanigans - got the prescriptions filled this morning), I think I'm thinking more clearly. I don't know what to do with the information I mighta been catfished, though. That's just - weird.

 

[Yoga Princess]

I'm still heartbroken over a member that withdrew because I was finally doing a plot I had wanted to do for can't remember how long. Best of luck to you.

 

[Sekah]

I'm still heartbroken over a member that withdrew because I was finally doing a plot I had wanted to do for can't remember how long. Best of luck to you.

Thanks. Yeah, one of these stories I've been trying to get someone for for like - six years? But I think for that prompt getting catfished is just par for the course on the writers who end up interested in it, for some reason. Other writers for it have ended up randomly flashing me a dick pic on general in a discord server we made together and trying to get me to fly across country to sleep with him (not on this website), being perfectly friendly with me and then when I went to the hospital after almost dying and stayed there for a while, when I came back out said hey and explained what happened, they immediately left the discord, blocked me on the site, and deleted the thread we had together - apparently because I'd had a medical emergency. Another partner for that prompt sent me a heart emoji and then suddenly left the discord, all conversations we had together, and blocked me on the site. I really don't have any clue what happened there, there was no conflict, she'd always seemed excited about the thread, IDK. That prompt is cursed. Now I guess I've been potentially catfished for it. Jesus.

 

[Sync]

I have no idea when you mean when you say you got "catfished", so imma just gonna leave this here:

 

[Sekah]

I have no idea when you mean when you say you got "catfished", so imma just gonna leave this here:

It's internet lingo for someone pretending to be someone else to manipulate someone, usually into a friendship or a romance. Usually involves making sock puppets, which are multiple accounts that are run by one person but pretend to be different dudes. There was a reality tv show about it, where they tracked down the people who were lying to people on the net to form a relationship with them and had them meet in real life, usually to hilarious or horrifying results (that 19-year-old girl you thought you met is a 55-year-old woman who lives down the street from you and is absolutely obsessed with you bro, run). The other writer is pretty sure they were catfished. I'm trying to hold onto hope I wasn't and it's just some kind of weird coincidence.

 

[Sync]

Ah. You say "I got catfished", I say "you got bullshitted". I know what I find easier to follow.

That said, props to you for recognising that the staff were doing the right thing, and kudos to you for publicly apologising for it. That takes guts.

My suggestion to you here is to just let it go. Sure, you were happy for a thread you had going, and it sucks that you got caught out by the other person being a dick. Take a small break, watch a movie, read a book, do something that doesn't involve BMR for a little while. I understand that it's difficult for you to find what you're looking for, but you'll find it eventually.

 

[Murdergurl]

I'm not friends with the staff here. I don't even know the staff here, and I have heavily criticized this website while I did have friends on staff. I literally stopped going to this site over a MINOR dispute with staff policy once. I've outright told Vek to his face-- er well screen, that I don't like him or trust him once. If anyone knows me, they know I'm not the sort of person to to give a fuck about friendships, dick sucking, and pussy licking when it comes to me speaking my mind and expressing my opinions.

This site has NEVER operated like the OP claims. If it were true, then some staff member, or friends of a staff member, who hasn't liked me would have gotten me banned. In fact, someone has tried to get me banned in the past. Staff came at me hard after someone doctored some PMs trying to make me look like some kind of harassment harry. I explained it not to be true, revealed what was going on, and staff handled it well. Granted, this was many years ago, and I'm pretty sure none of that staff are currently here. I've also been publicly ridiculed on the Official BMR Podcast back when it was a thing. I've never been popular here, and people have had reasons to try to get rid of me. While none of this speaks to the current staff, it does speak to the long history of this site having pretty good moderation.

We don't have options to like posts here. But I wanted to give this comment a slow clap. Cheers to no fucks given!