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Toyko Unofficial Olympics 2021 - Ladies Roshambo final (Mongolia v Japan) - a surprise ending

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Sep 21, 2013
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London
‘Hi, folks, and welcome to the Underground Olympics where you get to see the sports that don’t make it into the official Olympics. It’s a beautiful night here in this secluded park in Toyko. The air is cool with a slight breeze. Just the right setting and climate for tonight’s action, which is the Ladies Roshambo Final between Mongolia and the host nation, Japan. And here to explain what that involves is the first of my guests, Karen. Welcome, Karen. It’s a feature of this sport that the competitors are known only by their first names. Karen is the reigning British Mixed Roshambo champion. Why not start with explaining what involves.’

‘Sure, hi everyone and welcome to Japan on this glorious evening, To answer your question, Dan, mixed Roshambo means girls breaking guys’ balls.’

‘And guys cracking girls’ clits, which is why you’re commentating and not competing, eh Karen?’

‘That’s right, Dan, and thanks for pointing that out. Now, the Ladies event involves, surprise surprise, women only. This is the final after a series of knockout heats. There are three competitors on each side and they take it in turns to bust each other. The order is drawn by lot, so it’s random chance who you come up against.’

‘Right, Karen, and this first pair provide an interesting contrast. To tell us about them, let me introduce Bwana, the Pan-African champion, fighting for Ghana in this event.’

‘Was fighting, you mean, after his first ground, first kick, knockout.’

‘Thanks, Karen, and welcome, Bwana. Are you still sore by the way?’

‘Greetings everybody and welcome to Toyko. Yes, Dan, I am pleased to report everything is still tender, but in full working order, as Karen will be able to confirm. Coming to the competitors, the Mongolian competitor is Sarnai, which apparently means Rose, and she is up against the Japanese girl, Miki, which I am told means flower stem, so an interesting pairing.’

‘Tell us about Sarnai first. She is not well known in the west.’

‘OK. Sarnai is wearing brown. She’s 5 feet 11 inches, weigh 250 pounds, measures in at 38-30-38, and her long black hair is pulled tight into a pony tail. With those stats, she is very much what you would expect. Big, heavy, strong thighs, a tough competitor, but she has plump labia and a large protruding clitoris, so she presents an easy target.’

‘Just explain the point of the tight shorts.’

‘That is to allow her opponent to have a clear view of her target. Normally, the fighters take part naked, but that isn’t appropriate for a television audience, so they are required to wear tight fitting shorts and a tank top. With the tight fit and the soft fabric, that’s as close to naked as we are going to get. ‘And the Japanese fighter?’

‘Sure, Miki. Just about as different as you can get. She’s in white and measures in at 5 feet 2 inches. She is rather shy about her vital stats, which some people say is because she doesn’t have any. She weighed in at less than half Sarnai’s body weight. To her advantage, she has sharp knees – I can attest to that from experience – and her crotch is just one long slit, which means fewer nerve endings, with no sign of her clitoris, which is well protected from attack. Small isn’t necessarily a disadvantage in this game.’

‘The competitors are approaching the stage, so time to bring in my final guest, Catalina, from Spain. After a successful career, she is now coaching her national team, which unfortunately had to withdraw after one of their number contracted Covid. Sad news, Catalina.’

‘Yes, very sad, but it allows me to be here with my friends to introduce this fascinating sport to a wider public. The rules are simple. One competitor stands with her legs astride and takes three blows from her opponent: a knee, a punch, and a kick in that order. They then change roles. The aim is to put your opponent on the floor. A complete collapse scores 5 points, falling on your knees is 4 points, one knee is 3 points, a touch with two hands is 2 points, and a touch with just one hand is 1 point. Time allowed is 30 second between blows. Scoring can get complicated, because a girl might, say, touch a hand, then recover, before collapsing to her knees. That would score a total of 5 points and if she then collapse completely, that would be another 5, making 10.’

‘Sarnai is standing under the bar now, so just explain about that before Mike comes in for the knee.’

‘Sure, yes, there is a bar about the competitors head, which they can use for support if necessary. Some do, some don’t. It’s a matter of strategy.’

‘So, folks, Sarnai, has taken her place under the bar. It’s already been adjusted for her height. But it looks like she won’t be using it. No, she got her hands on her hips and her legs astride, staring at Miki. Any thoughts, Bwana?’

‘Miki has a height disadvantage, so Sarnai will be sure to pull herself up as much as she can, although her feet have to remain flat on the floor.’

‘Karen?’

‘Bwana’s right. She’s got to aim for that clit, which is a big target and will inflict a serious amount of pain if Miki can get hit that with the point of her knee.’

‘And, a final word from Catalina, quickly please because it looks like Miki is ready.’

‘Miki will want to-‘

‘Sorry, Catalina, wow that was quick. Talk us through what just happened.’
 
‘This is where the mismatch in height works to Mike’s advantage. With her taller opponent, she can deliver an uppercut from a squatting start, accelerating as she rises.’

‘Looks like you’ve read this right. Here it comes.’

‘Yes and it’s shaken Sarnai. She staggered, but she is still on her feet.’

‘Comment please, Bwana.’

‘Wasted opportunity there. Just when she had the advantage of being shorter-’

‘Wait, Miki lodging a challenge. What’s this about, Karen?’

‘She’s saying Sarnai moved. See what the replay shows.’

‘Tricky call, could go either way, but, wait, yes, she’s going to get another shot.’

‘Right, so this means she gets a second punch and without giving Sarnai any more recovery time.’

‘She’ll move in fast and Sarnai knows what to expect – look at her take hold of the overhead bars.’

‘She’s not squatting, no, I wonder if, yes, yes, she going for a straight punch.’

‘And with a clit the size that Sarnai is packing, she’s got a huge target.’

‘Cross your legs, ladies, here it comes.’

‘Sweet Jesus, did you see that?’

‘A vicious straight arm punch that hit the button. Sarnai tried to keep hold of the bars, but let go and crashed onto the floor.’

‘But she’s still only on her knees.’

‘Did you hear that howl? How did that sound to you, Bwana?’

‘Like a bull being circumsized.’

‘Evocative as ever. She’s doubled over, moaning, rocking.’

‘But she managed to keep on her knees. How did she manage that, Cat?’

‘Practice. All the girls practice the way to fall to save as many points as possible while still giving in to the pain.’

‘Just look at her face, you can almost feel her pain.’

‘Yes, but remember some of the girls in this sport enjoy the pain. That doesn’t stop them hurting but it does give them pleasure too. Wait and see when she stands up.’

‘If she can.’

‘What are we waiting for.’

‘Well, come girls get turned on, especially when they experience an intense blow like that one. And, shall we say that Sarnai has a reputation?’

‘For what?’

‘For ejaculating, she often finishes the match with a damp crotch. It’s more obvious if she is naked of course, but look out for a stain on those shorts.’

‘Come off it, this female ejaculation stuff is a myth, like the g-sport. You want my opinion, it’s actually piss.’

‘Which shows how little you know about it, Bwana. Look, Dan, what did I say?’

‘Yea, well, whatever there is certainly a damp patch, whatever caused it.’

‘She’s used all her recover time, so it’s the kick next. And Miki will have time to ponder what to expect when Sarnai extracts her revenge. She’s inflicted a lot of damage, but not scored many points. She needs a good score for this final section.’
 
‘So, folks, Sarnai is back in position, looking a little pale and she is surely still aching from that full power punch right on her button. She managed to get back on her feet without mishap this time, so she didn’t lose any points there. But she went down on her knees which is 4 points and, get this, because of the penalty, that double to 8. Total 9 for Miki, which is not a great score, especially when you remember the penalty. Karen?’

‘True, the pressure is on Miki, but Sarnai can’t allow herself to get complacent, even if that were possible with the pain that’s gripping her belly right now. Notice how tightly she is holding on to that bar.’

‘And let’s not forget that she has a massive weight advantage over her much smaller opponent.’

‘Offset by a throbbing clit.’

‘True, Bwana, very true.’

‘So, here we go. Sarnai can’t afford another penalty, so the trick will be to pull herself up as high as she can with her feet still on the floor.’

‘Thanks for that tactical insight, Karen.’

‘So, Miki is back as far as she is allowed to take her max run up. And, yes, she’s off.’

‘She’s going to give it her best shot. She can’t hope to land another blow on the clit.’

‘What, what’s she doing. Yeah, a mule kick, vicious one too, her heel hit right on the button again.’

‘That’s perfectly legal, a kick is a kick, however it is delivered.’

‘Sarnai’s knees have gone, she’s basically hanging from the bar.’

‘She’s had to let go, but she’s still on her feet, staggering around.’

‘Anything could happen.’

‘All she has to do is stay on her feet long enough.’

‘She’s pushing her fist into her crotch. Is that allowed, Cat?’

‘Yes, that’s OK, but it shows how desperate she is.’

‘She’s doubled over and, wait, oh no, is she going down?’

‘Yes, it looks as if, but no, she’s only squatting. Which is allowed, so long as that is all she does.’

‘Ugh, that’s disgusting.’

‘God, she thrown up. She’s really suffering.’

‘But still not touched down.’

‘How long has she got before the end of the session?’

‘Only seconds left now. Yeah, time gone.’

‘And down she goes in a heap. But it was outside the time, so no score for Miki.’

‘So, your views, please. Bwana?’

‘That was a bad experience for the big Mongolian, a major humiliation, but she survived with relatively few points. She could still win, if she has the strength.’

‘Karen?’

‘Bwana’s right, has she got the strength left? Pain is draining even if it doesn’t score many points.’

‘And finally Cat?’

‘Sarnai has the weight advantage and the height, but with her strength sapping away like this, her chances are 50:50 at best.’

‘So, folks, all to play for. While the players take a break, we’ll take one too. Back in 5.’
 
‘Hi again, folks. This is Dan welcoming you back to Toyko on this lovely evening. It’s Miki’s turn to take three busts. The overhead bar has been lowered to adjust for her height and it looks like she is going to take advantage of it. Thoughts, Bwana.’

‘Yes, it does, although this could just be a tactic to toy with her opponent. It would be a good move, because Sarnai is a powerful competitor.’

‘Do you agree, Karen?’

‘Up to a point, yes, she is a powerful competitor, but we have just seen her take sustained and targeted punishment right on her clit, to the point where she actually threw up. That’s not unheard of, but it is very rare, very rare indeed. Don’t you agree, Catalina?’

‘I do, Karen, certainly. Sarnai looks rough, which is going to lessen the power she can deliver, but don’t forget she is packing a lot of muscle and weight.’

‘And Miki’s pussy is nothing more than a slit, with no sign of a clit.’

‘Thanks, Bwana, subscribing to male myths as usual. You have a point, actually, but it is no where near as significant as some people make out.’

‘Well, if anyone knows, you do, Karen.’

‘Right, Cat, take up the commentary for us.

‘Sure, it’s a knee first and Sarnai is ready for the signal to begin with Miki hanging on to the bar.’

‘There’s the buzzer, so we’re ready to roll.’

‘Sarnai is using the runup but not fast, just to give her some extra power.’

‘WOW, did you see the power behind that knee, dead centre between Miki’s thighs, she lifted her off her feet, held and then stepped back.’

‘Miki has lost her grip. Is she down, yes on one knee, and there goes a hand. That was a spine jarring, clit cracker of a knee if every I saw one. It must have stung her badly.’

‘Like most Japanese, she has a slim frame and easily gets beaten up by big opponents. This is supposed to be all about cuntbusting and ballbusting, but when someone like Sarnai attacks, it feels like you’ve gone 5 rounds in the boxing ring with her. Trust me, I’m not as slim as Miki but I’ve been there and taken the punishment.’

‘One knee plus one hand, making a total of 4 for Sarnai. A good start. Miki is doubled over but she looks steady. I don’t see Sarnai milking this for any more points. No, Miki’s up and staggering back to her position.’

‘She’s shaking, so lets hope she can stay still and not incur a penalty for moving during Sarnai’s punch.’
 
‘Miki takes a firm grip on the bar and plants her feet apart, but she’s visibly shaking. Sarnai won’t complain, not yet, but she can use this as an excuse to get a second shot at her opponent.’

‘Nasty.’

‘Yeah, Bwana, nasty, but it is all part of the tactics of the game.’

‘Sarnai is on her knees now. This compensates for Miki being shorter. She’s bunched her fist and off it goes.’

‘Like a rocket on take off.’

‘Did you hear Miki’s howl?’

‘Yes, see the slow motion, Sarnai’s knuckles pushing through Miki’s shorts and between her labia.’

‘Miki is literally hanging from the bar, quivering, pulling her legs up to her chest, but how showing any signs of falling off.’

‘And, yes, like you said Karen, Sarnai has challenged, she’s saying Miki moved as she punched her.’

‘Just look at Miki’s face, guys. It’s contorted in pain and that looks suspiciously like a tear.’

‘And fear of what may happen if this big Mongolian woman gets a second punch and double any points.’

‘What’s your view, Cat, will the officials accept the challenge?’

‘It’s a close one, but wait, the officials have decided. Challenge denied.’

‘She seemed to be shaking to me.’

‘Official verdict – Miki was still at the moment of impact, which is what matters.’

‘Which just leaves the kick. Sarnai will throw all she has into this one. She has nothing to lose.’

‘Miki had better prepare to enter orbit.’
 
‘True, so true. She could be a sprinter. Despite her size and weight, she accelerates fast and there she goes.’

‘The sight of that coming towards you is enough to make anyone shake and Miki hasn’t yet fully recovered from that punch.’

‘Sarnai brings her leg back – and – WOW.’

‘Let’s see that in slow motion.’

‘A thunderous kick, dead centre, right on the arch of her foot.’

‘Miki didn’t even have a chance to scream. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.’

‘No one could have kept a grip on the bar after a solid slammer in the pussy like that. No one. Sarnai at her best.’

‘I wouldn’t want to come up against her, not if I wanted to walk away with my balls.’

‘And look at Miki.’

Yes, look at her. She just fell to the floor like a sack. And that is where she is going to stay. Just curled up in a ball, shaking. She won’t be on her feet for a while.’

‘So 5 points for that, plus the 4, makes 9. The competitors are tied. Cat, explain to the views what happens now.’

‘Sure, Dan. So there is a tie and it has to be resolved. There must be a winner. This is where it gets really interesting.’
 
‘When you say “interesting”, tell us how that is.’

‘Sure, we now have a tie breaker. Each competitor takes it in turns to attack the other’s crotch. No holds barred, anything goes. Quick and dirty exchanges until one of the can’t carry on.’

‘Sounds like we’re in for some sustained fun, with two tough women like this pair, what do you say, Karen?’

‘Well, Dan, yes and no. This pair are tough, but don’t forget they are women too and women who have just been through a tough contest. They may look calm but let’s just recall what’s happened over the last few minutes. Miki has been subjected to a series of pile driver attacks from the huge Mongolian, leaving her in a heap on the floor, quivering and shaking. And Sarnai hasn’t feared any better. She’s sustained three direct targeted assaults on her clit – four if you include the penalty – that made her puke her guts up. Both of them are shattered.’

‘Anything to add, Bwana?’

‘Yeah, I know I may come across as insensitive sometimes, but I’m in this game too and I’ve experienced the results. Seen them too on the women the day after a contest. Their crotches are trashed. Swollen, bruised, tender, so bad some of them can’t even piss with screaming in agony. And as for sex, well that is just not possible until they are recovered. Which makes it especially bad for someone like Sarnai who has a reputation for getting aroused during matches.’

‘Thanks for making that point, Bwana. It’s something spectators often overlook. And, just for the record, I know that the guys suffer too.’

‘Right folks, so now you know what to expect and the competitors are standing facing each other waiting for the signal to begin. Miki goes first. What do you expect her first move to be, Cat?’

‘My guess, a no-brainer, another attack on that massive clit that’s fighting to get out of Sarnai’s shorts.’

‘There goes the signal, let’s see if you’re right.’
 
‘Yes, Cat was right. Miki’s gone straight for the Mongolian’s slit, pinching it between her fingers, digging her nails in through those thin shorts.’

‘And that’s perfectly legal. In a tie break, the competitors aren’t limited to knee, punch and kick. They can do pretty much anything.’

‘The big Mongolian is suffering here. She’s had four straight assaults on that clit, and there is no reason for Miki to change tactics. Why would she? It’s just a question of how much can Sarnai take.’

‘She’s definitely in pain, squirming and grimacing. She’s clenching her teeth and clenching her fists. These girls aren’t above putting on a shower to trick their opponent into thinking they are having more effect that they are, though.’

‘Not in this case, just look at her face. And, what’s going on? Yes, Miki is twisting that clit now. My god that will be sore tonight.’

‘Sarnai is muttering to herself. What do you think she is saying, Bwana?’

‘Tricky question, Dan. Those girls say all sorts of things. She could be cursing Miki or trying to motivate herself to ignore the pain or praying it will stop or – well who knows. My guess she is chanting some sort of mantra to help her walk alongside the pain and not give in to it.’

‘And that’s it, Miki breaks away with a terrific tug and a final twist.’

‘Listen to that cry. That last move took the Mongolian by surprise.’

‘I wonder how Miki will follow that up.’

‘Good question, Karen, but first she has to stand up to the Mongolian’s assault. Any thoughts on that. She doesn’t have an obvious target like Miki had.’
 
‘My thought is that she will use her weight and height advantage. As much she can given how she feels right now. But how she will do it, I have no idea.’

‘She’s taking some deep breaths, steading herself after that excruciating experience.’

‘And psyching out her opponent at the same time.’

‘What’s she doing, she’s, surely not, but yes, she lifting Miki under her arm pits, like she’s a child. What is the point of that?’

‘I wonder. WOW, yes.’

‘She’s dropped her, right on the point of her knee.’

‘No way Miki saw that one coming. That’s new to the repertoire as far as I know.’

‘Straight out of the pro wrestling ring, the atomic drop, landing your opponent’s crotch right on the point of your knee.’

‘Miki actually bounced off her knee. I don’t believe I saw that.’

‘Well you did and lucky for you, you didn’t feel it. She certainly did.’

‘She’s back on the floor and curled up again, clutching herself.’

‘Could this be the end? I mean, is there any chance of her being able to get back on her feet after that?’
 
‘Miki is struggling, but she has barely got the strength to get to her knees.’

‘She has to make her move or give in, which would be a terrible humiliation in her own country.’

‘She did well to stand up so long as she did to her much bigger and more experienced opponent.’

‘What the hell.’

‘Surely not.’

‘Goodness. Is that allowed?’

‘Yes, it is, pretty much everything is, but full marks for ingenuity. She’s crawled over to Sarnai and has got that fat clit of hers in her mouth.’

‘That is so blatantly sexual, I’ve not heard of a move like that before.’

‘And how is Sarnai responding?’

‘Her head is back, mouth open and, it looks like, yes, her knees are buckling.’

‘Is she going down?’

‘She is, flat on her back, but Miki isn’t letting go.’

‘She’s still working her clit.’

‘Oh my god, just imagine being eaten out on national TV.’

‘This gives a whole new meaning to taking one for the team.’
 
‘With all due respects, ladies, this ain’t sport any longer. This is just out and out fucking, sorry for using that word on international television, but that’s what it is. I’m not opposed to any sort of activity between consenting adults, but some things are best kept private, if you know what I mean.’

‘Don’t be so fucking precious, Bwana. This is a tiebreak and we all know that anything goes, that’s what the rules say.’

‘And don’t forget that a lot of athletes get high on their sport. Rashambo is no exception. I’ve been close to orgasm a few times during a competition.’

‘What I’m saying is that when it comes to having an orgasm if I want to see one I go to the porn sites, not the sports channel.’

‘And I’m sure you do, regularly.’

‘Look, there’s no need to get personal about this. I’m just making the point that this is private. Her friends and family are watching her being eaten out, maybe even actually cumming. Every time they see her, they will have this image in their minds and remember it. She’s a strong, proud woman, and an athlete, let’s not forget that.’

‘No, we can’t forget that, Bwana, and you are right to make the points. But unless and until someone changes the rules, this is permissible.’

‘OK, guys, so let’s concentrate on what’s happening down there. Talk us through this, Catalina.’

‘Right, Dan. Well, it’s pretty obvious what’s happening. Miki is literally eating Sarnai out. She’s got her teeth firmly fixed on the Mongolian’s clit and is showing no signs of letting her go. Sarnai is obviously in excruciating pain and is struggling to contain her arousal. Yes, Karen?’

‘I just want to say for the benefit of viewers, that yes we do get aroused during competition, at least some of us do. That normally isn’t a problem because the contact is momentary. This is very different because Miki’s attack is sustained, which is allowed in a tiebreaker, although it is not usually taken so literally.’

‘May I just say a word about tactics, from a man’s point of view. Miki needs to make a decision. Should she carry on? There’s no sign of Sarnai giving in and there are no points for getting her to orgasm. Miki needs to break this off and build on the pain she has inflicted later.’

‘Which would give Sarnai a chance to get even. Just look at her, Karen.’

‘Yeah, that makes me feel, well let’s concentrate on her. She’s grinding her teeth and sucking her breath in hard and fast, the mics are picking it up. And look at that chest heaving. She is fighting the pain and fighting for control of her body. And, as for tactics, don’t forget that being this aroused is going to be a massive distraction when Miki finally releases her, which I am sure she will do in her own good time.’

‘I wouldn’t be so sure of that, ladies.’

‘Why not, Bwana?’

‘Look at Miki. Look at her hand. It’s between her legs. She, yes she is, she is actually rubbing herself. Vigorously. It’s going to be a toss up which of them cums first.’

‘Oh my god, yes, did you say that?’

‘No, it was too fast. We need to wait for the replay.’

‘Miki released her grip.’

‘That’s good tactics. Just at the right moment.’

‘No, I think that was accidental. She was getting herself off and opened her mouth to scream or groan and that broke the hold. Now it’s Sarnai’s turn.’

‘If she’s up for it. Right now she is doubled over.’

‘Tactics, playing for time, you can take my word on that.’

‘The ref is allowing her more time. Sarnai has to make her move and Miki has to stand still for it.’

‘It’s difficult to tell which of the two is having more difficulty than the other.’
 
‘This is it. The ref has signalled Sarnai to make her move. If Miki can’t stand, she will forfeit the match.’

‘Look, Dan, Sarnai moved in so fast she managed to catch Mike when she was still for a moment.’

‘The obvious move on her part. Camel clutch. Right on that tender spot.’

‘We all saw how aroused Miki had made herself. Sarnai is capitalising on that.’

‘Good tactics.’

‘And look at her – right up on her toes – dancing to Sarnai’s tune now.’

‘We don’t have a view of what she is doing, but you can bet her fingers are working hard on Miki crotch.’

‘This is so fucking hot.’

‘Like I said, it all about sex now. Athlete porn.’

‘Miki is sweating, just look at it running down her face.’

‘Sarnai is talking to her. Taunting her probably.’

‘She’s pumping those legs high now. See her hands, they keep drifting down as if she wants to pull herself free.’

‘The ref is asking if she wants to submit.’

‘There’s no way she will do that, no way she dare on home soil. That would mean humiliation for her and her country. No Japanese competitor could accept that.’

‘Really, are you so sure? Sarnai is looking very confident.

‘So confident she’s laughing at her opponent. She’s ready to get the Gold here tonight.’

‘And, wait, what’s she saying?’

“STOP STOP STOP”

‘We all heard that. She’s called out to stop. The ref is in there now, pulling Sarnai away. He’s raising her hand.’

‘No, wait, what’s happening?’

‘It looks like Miki has lodged a complaint.’

‘What about?’

‘Karen, do you know what that code is for?’

‘I do, but it can’t be. But yes, the ref is checking Sarnai’s fingers and sniffing them.’

‘Sarnai has been disqualified, but what for Karen?’

‘Penetration. Sarnai has been disqualified for penetrating Miki. She must have pushed her fingers under her shorts and been fucking her in front of her home crowd.’

‘Well, fuck me, who’d have ever imagined it would end like this.’
 
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