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Faded (The Snuggubus x CasualVelociraptor)

“It’s like a...warmth? Traveling up my arm?” Setana wondered, her whole body shivering actually as it slowly came to terms with this new sense, this extension of itself, before her conscious mind. “And I also feel like I have this new part of my mind that’s very tingly. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
 
"Don't try to describe it, at least for now. I will remove my hand. Try to tell me if you can feel where it is." She asked. Step 1 was complete. She paced around her, using a sound dampening unit to make sure she didn't identify it by sound, hovering her hand over her and asking where she felt it.
 
“Your hand is near...my right arm,” Setana grimaced. “And n-now behind my head. And now my left shoulder.” All the concentration that Setana had to put in while also not thinking about it too much made her land on her rump again. Then she pulled herself off the ground to sit against a large rock and gulped, “No worries. I’m just a little dizzy. Did I get it right?”
 
She was both worried and happy with the girl. She did incredibly well already, but more of those hits on the ground and she might need to spend more time in kolto tanks again. "Let's go take breakfast." She simply replied, offering her hand to help her get up.
 
“So what’s there to eat? And uh...more importantly, once again. Was that your hand I was sensing? It was very um, delicate so I suppose yes?” Setana wavered.
 
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She was taken aback by the odd and oddly forward... compliment? The girl was a new apprentice, to it made sense to ask questions, she supposed. "I wasn't touching you, Setana. I've never heard anyone describing the force as delicate." She replied, without looking at her.

After a reinforced breakfast, consisting mostly of convor eggs, she let her apprentice rest for a bit to digest her food, before calling her to one of the training arenas. "Every day we'll have both physical and mental training. Welcome to the physical part. If you leave this without bruises you're either really good or I'm not doing a good job." she said, feeling more at ease with her trainee.

The place was an oval sand arena with multiple wooden replicas of weapons to the sides. The walls curved into a ceiling, sealing the place from the environment, a single artificial light illuminating the whole place. "Grab a weapon, any weapon." She said, grabbing a wooden replica of a lightsaber. It could hurt, but it was blunt for training purposes.
 
“Then I guess I felt the air around your hand? Or, well, the Force? But I guess I’m not sure,” Setana said. She was still ill suited to ever being on the back foot for things, and this was the ultimate in unexplainable phenomena. At least the convor eggs were good although she’d had her misgivings.

Then, at Tato’s direction, Setana grabbed a bokken practice sword that was nearly identical to the one the Jedi girl was wielding. Only, she didn’t remember actually walking up to and picking it up. She just blinked and she had the staff in her hand. And she had to admit that hand to hand combat was not her strong suit, and so Setana was nervous to get her fair share of bruises from Tato.
 
"Unlike most would believe, the Jedi doctrine is not all peaceful. In fact, conflict is what makes us stronger. When diplomacy fails, you must be ready for combat, but you must not seek it." she spoke extremely calmly as she charged and swung towards the woman. Whenever her sword would contact with her skin, she would stop and hop back, as if to restart the duel. She seemed to not strain herself at all by speaking while she fought. "This is not just training for your muscles, you must learn to predict your foe's movements and dodge it like I'm predicting yours." She continued. Her swings would hurt, but it was clear that she was holding back, just hitting well enough to register that she lost the duel.
 
“Oh, honey, believe me, combat seeks me every single time!” Setana proclaimed and raised her practice sword. “When will combat take the hint already?”

But as soon as her big fat mouth made that boast, however, Setana felt like a combat dummy. She knew she was moving too slowly, as by the time she thought about how to counter Tato’s movements, the Jedi would bop her erstwhile apprentice somewhere new.

Something about the way the Jedi moved her body- in a considerate and concentrated manner, not a single ounce of strength wasted, yet completely relaxed- proved distracting to the smuggler as well.
 
She sighed and shook her head. "Alright, change of tactics." She said, more to herself than to the girl. The woman needed to be ready soon, and she had shown to be able to be guided by the Force. She moved towards the wall and turned off the lights. Turning on her sound dampening unit again, she was practically invisible but still could feel her sparring partner. "Remember the exercise from before. You knew where I was with your eyes closed, didn't you?" She asked, before lunging at her and attacking. Her swings were once again with controlled strength, just to tap her before she backed off and paced around her so that she would have to know where she was coming from. She stood perfectly silent as she trained her, she had to learn it.
 
“Yeah, but I...I don’t know how I did that, still,” Setana grunted as she was repeatedly tapped by the Jedi Knight’s staff.

Then she felt annoyance turn into anger in the pit of her stomach as she raised her staff, yelled, and charged Tato, breaking her horizontally raised staff in half with a single blow. Whereupon she looked at the Twi’lek’s face. Not really as it would look in the light, but almost a bright purple blur standing out in the darkness, as though her shadow were...inside out?!

Then she tapped Tato delicately on the left cheek with the staff and leaned against the wall opposite them, her staff propped up against it as well. She still had no idea what was going on or why she was being dragged into all of this.
 
"No..." She sighed and dropped her sword, walking towards the lights to turn them on. "No." She said again, before stepping back to meet her partner, placing her hand gently on her shoulder. It was like a still body of water meeting a rushing waterfall. She gripped onto her shoulder tighter, taking deep breaths. Setana's strength was almost overwhelming.

"Take a few deep breaths with me." She asked, with eyes closed.

She didn't feel ready to take this woman as her apprentice, her confidence shaken. Sure it was her first outburst, and things were still under control, but if she lost control of the situation, no doubt she would be overpowered by her pupil.
 
Meanwhile, Tato’s hand on Setana’s shoulder felt more like a million ships all jumping through hyperspace. But other than that, Setana’s soul was smothered by dread as she slouched forward, closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose to keep from crying, as showing any weakness was fatal in this fucked up galaxy.

After the breaths were had and Setana was calmer, she said, “I already know what you’re going to say- that I’m too stubborn, too angry, too old to train. And you’re probably right. I don’t know what I was thinking trying to be a hero today; I should have let you handle it. You’re kind, and gentle, and powerful, so you’re perfect for the job. I stepped out of my line of work and it cost me my arm and your time that could probably have been better spent helping some bright eyed genius farm boy or something like that.”

Setana then sighed and touched both of Tato’s shoulders to steady herself before continuing, “I just...if you do say that I’m not worthy, I’ll understand, but I don’t know if I can go back. If there’s any place for me other than here. My old life feels too empty by comparison. It’s like...have you ever been to the planet Tatooine? Desert planet, real shithole, wouldn’t recommend. Anyway, so, it’s like I’ve been dropped into a planet full of nothing but water after only living on a few drops of the stuff. It’s cold and overwhelming and I can barely keep my head above water...but it’s refreshing too. Being here, learning this stuff, having my eyes opened. With you.” That last part was almost whispered.

“A-and your kooky little order, of course,” Setana cleared her throat. “Y’all kinda broke me.“

R2-Q5 knew when his master was in distress. The little droid rolled over to them and warbled chirps of encouragement.

“Thanks buddy. You’re right,” Setana said and patted his dome. “Please, Tato,” she then said to the Twi’lek as she stood up straight again. “I want to be a Jedi. If you give me another chance, I promise I won’t let you down.”
 
Her grip slowly loosened on her shoulder as the girl calmed down. Hearing her spill personal things like that, she couldn't help but caress her shoulder a little bit. Hearing her helped her feel like her pupil was nothing above what she was. She had her doubts, her worries, her strength in the force did not rob her from being human.

She let her go on until she wanted to stop, patient as a Jedi should be, before pulling a seat and sitting down, inviting her to do the same. "Having no ties with the outside world is a blessing in disguise for those who join the Order." She let that linger for a bit before continuing. "My mother was... is a slave on Taris. The Republic has no control over the planet, and, as such, the Order can do nothing to help her. I... can do nothing to help her. Taking over Taris is not something we can focus on now if we wish to win the war, and so, I must simply calm myself, remind myself of my training, and try my best to not think about her."

"I apologize for pushing you. The war doesn't wait, and you are strong enough to make a difference. In my inexperience as a trainer and haste, I may have pushed you too far. I never pondered denying you training, but we will stop here for the day."
 
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Setana said as she sat down and tossed her hair back over her ears with a few quick swipes, the echo of Tato’s shoulder touch lingering with her. “I never knew my parents. I just was left in Sector 1313 of Coruscant to raise myself. Still, that’s a bunch of bantha poodoo, and you of all people should have better. Anyway, I suppose stopping training here should be good.”

Setana hadn’t really heard anything about a war since the galaxy was so vast; heck, she’d barely bothered to contemplate the Republic’s existence after fleeing its capital city in a ship she bought. But rather than pile on the gloom party with a line of inquiry into the nature of the war with the Sith, Setana instead asked, “So, tell me Tati, what do you do for fun around here?” The cocky grin returning.
 
The word caught her off guard. Of course, fun was a thing the Jedi had, right? It seemed so inhumane to say that the training involved cutting yourself from fun, but... in the end, fun led to excitement, emotions, and, consequently, the Dark Side. Fun could be found in the activities of training or the Jedi missions themselves, but it was mostly not something that crossed her mind. Still, she did not want to scare off her pupil and had to come up with something.

"Uh, some of us play Pazaak. Not with bets and money, no, but still." She said, hoping that she would reply with something, because nothing else came to mind.
 
“I don’t think I’ve heard of that one. More of a Dejarik gal m’self,” Setana smiled. “Maybe that’ll be easier to teach me?” she then joked. “Although, maybe I’m just not great at listening.”
 
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