What is your Red Flag when LF RP Partner?

[Jericho Z. Barrons]

That's a great point, @Isabelle . I am constantly having new ideas for characters and stories but I keep myself focused on whatever I'm currently working on and save those ideas for later. So, if someone suddenly drops an rp or disappears, I don't get hung up on it. It just means I can now move on to one of my other ideas or cravings.

 

[Flex]

Lets keep this train going.

WELL. I find it really annoying when people complain about people complaining about people complaining about other people who complain about being ghosted. You're all red flags, blocked.

You know what? I agree with you maybe! That was possibly deep!

Maybe I'm a bad person too, but you're not alone, Flex. Personally I really enjoy the planning and OOC chatter before the RP begins. It might even be my favourite stage. Thus, I'm not too sad if I'm ghosted. It just means it's time to start something new and exciting!

You just worded how I feel, and now I feel better knowing theres another bad person out there.

 

[jennica enslaved]

Real life gender restrictions. That's a huge red flag...far too often it leads to the person wanting something outside of the RP.

I don't like those much either. There's the looking for too much more problem... And also, they often come with pretty particular role or story ideas which too often, are also not exactly the kind I want to play.

Personally I really enjoy the planning and OOC chatter before the RP begins. It might even be my favourite stage. Thus, I'm not too sad if I'm ghosted. It just means it's time to start something new and exciting!

Oh I enjoy that too, and I hate when people seem to have nothing to add to it or won't go into a bit of detail. A little borderline or semi-IC teasing is fun, but what I really want to find in there is plenty of ideas about their style and likes and how we might mix that way too. It's not always easy to list every little thing like a checklist, but I know when there's way too little going on to build a flame in that regard.

But ugh then a few times, I've had people come out and say, "I'm feeling really good about this. I think we're almost ready to start" after literally weeks of discussion on and off with lots of examples covered. Which is great if we're both enjoying that sometimes! But! The next thing I know, they found one nagging detail or I made one huge post (or maybe just got really into doing the actual RP after a few) and boom, they just kill the whole thing out of nowhere or demand some massive changes to the concept I've been talking about and then writing for so long. While that's their choice, that's a hard let-down and I'm not going to feel eager to deal with them again for quite some time if ever.

 

[Revelations]

Primarily, my biggest red flag is lack of patience. I'm not the fastest poster, and people who start prodding me for replies really make me not want to post for them. If you act like i've abandoned the RP after 2 days we won't get along.

 

[obieblu]

Slowly, the new red flag is starting to become the 'people complaining about 'people complaining about ghosting' ' at this rate. Just saying.

Oh, yes. I love it. It's the Avocado Toast of online manners.

It's also the Communist Party of China's strategy of dealing with societal problems. Definitely becoming a red flag for me when someone complains about someone wanting reciprocal standards of basic decency.

 

[Auditore]

When someone thinks I'm here for something else when I've clearly stated that I'm here for writing and potentially making some friends along my journey, those are usually red flags for me other than that the ghosting I can honestly care less of, it happens, whatever just lets me know they're not worth my time and probably saved me more time

 

[FumeiYuusha]

Primarily, my biggest red flag is lack of patience. I'm not the fastest poster, and people who start prodding me for replies really make me not want to post for them. If you act like i've abandoned the RP after 2 days we won't get along.

I think I did that to you. I'm terribly sorry....I think it was like 8 days since your last reply to me ... after we finished discussing the RP, and then I think I said something along the lines of "Nevermind I guess?"....which looking back at it, I was super rude and I hate that I didn't ask instead that "Hey, I guess you're very busy? Just wanted to ask if you're still interested?" or something along those lines.

But I totally understand why you dropped me. It wasn't nice what I did, and we don't have to get along, I don't deserve it. ^.^"

 

[Revelations]

I think I did that to you. I'm terribly sorry....I think it was like 8 days since your last reply to me ... after we finished discussing the RP, and then I think I said something along the lines of "Nevermind I guess?"....which looking back at it, I was super rude and I hate that I didn't ask instead that "Hey, I guess you're very busy? Just wanted to ask if you're still interested?" or something along those lines.

But I totally understand why you dropped me. It wasn't nice what I did, and we don't have to get along, I don't deserve it. ^.^"

You're fine, i've just been busy and have been meaning to get back to you - but life keeps getting in the way.I have a backlog of PM's I need to attend to and you're at the topish.

 

[Monochrome]

When you barely have time to get settled into a site and a person sends a pm asking if you would roleplay some idea they have in mind with no inquiry if you have a RT or a F-List they can look at or giving any indication that they have either of those.

 

[Dirty Fingers]

Lets keep this train going.

WELL. I find it really annoying when people complain about people complaining about people complaining about other people who complain about being ghosted. You're all red flags, blocked.

I tend to roll my eyes when I see it listed in a person's "rules" as I don't think there is anything you can do to avoid being ghosted. It just happens. If someone wanted to discuss it in a thread such as this one than that is different to me. I do think it is a problem with this hobby and it does make people more jaded as well as turning them off it completely.

 

[Jericho Z. Barrons]

I tend to roll my eyes when I see it listed in a person's "rules" as I don't think there is anything you can do to avoid being ghosted. It just happens. If someone wanted to discuss it in a thread such as this one than that is different to me. I do think it is a problem with this hobby and it does make people more jaded as well as turning them off it completely.

The thing for me is, you can't control what other people do. You can really only control how you react.

This hobby is really mercurial to begin with. I mean, how many people have finished an rp story? Starting stories is kind of what we do most often. I can understand putting a lot of work into a story and character and feeling upset when it is just broken off abruptly but that kind of feels like someone who doesn't have enough experience in this hobby to realize how rare a long story and partnership actually are. Those people who have long term partners for years are really lucky to find someone they click with, like that. That's not a problem with the hobby, that's the nature of getting two or more people together for partnerships who are not paid, writing for fun.

I would rather be partners with someone who is having fun, who is adaptable, than someone who gets stuck on the things they cannot change that come with the hobby itself.

And it has been pointed out elsewhere on the forum how we have people here focused on story right alongside people looking to "role play" their fantasies and get off in chat programs. So, if you want to talk about problems, it's the clash of several different styles and motivations mixing in one very large site, where people who are often looking for that sexual gratification aren't the most polite when being rejected(particularly men reacting to women). And they ruin it for everyone else by making some players feel like ghosting is a necessity to avoid harassment.

But if you want an exclusive forum with standards and to harbor only serious writers...just go to Elliquiy. Lol. Vek runs that one too and it already has a higher standard of writing and community. Here, you accept that in the pool right next to serious writers are people who are here for smut with some writing in it, lol. And as a result, some clash is to be expected which creates a fallout of those who think it's the height of rudeness when others avoid confrontation for their own personal safety and wellbeing.

 

[Dirty Fingers]

The thing for me is, you can't control what other people do. You can really only control how you react.

This hobby is really mercurial to begin with. I mean, how many people have finished an rp story? Starting stories is kind of what we do most often. I can understand putting a lot of work into a story and character and feeling upset when it is just broken off abruptly but that kind of feels like someone who doesn't have enough experience in this hobby to realize how rare a long story and partnership actually are. Those people who have long term partners for years are really lucky to find someone they click with, like that. That's not a problem with the hobby, that's the nature of getting two or more people together for partnerships who are not paid, writing for fun.

I would rather be partners with someone who is having fun, who is adaptable, than someone who gets stuck on the things they cannot change that come with the hobby itself.

And it has been pointed out elsewhere on the forum how we have people here focused on story right alongside people looking to "role play" their fantasies and get off in chat programs. So, if you want to talk about problems, it's the clash of several different styles and motivations mixing in one very large site, where people who are often looking for that sexual gratification aren't the most polite when being rejected(particularly men reacting to women). And they ruin it for everyone else by making some players feel like ghosting is a necessity to avoid harassment.

But if you want an exclusive forum with standards and to harbor only serious writers...just go to Elliquiy. Lol. Vek runs that one too and it already has a higher standard of writing and community. Here, you accept that in the pool right next to serious writers are people who are here for smut with some writing in it, lol. And as a result, some clash is to be expected which creates a fallout of those who think it's the height of rudeness when others avoid confrontation for their own personal safety and wellbeing.

I do agree don't get me wrong. I just also find it interesting as well, why people drop, what makes them drop. Obviously real life issues sometimes but I am more curious about the creative aspect. Does an idea run out of steam at some point? I know even with my own ideas at times I look at it and think "Can I really get an interesting story out of this premise?"

I have checked out Elliquiy I didn't really see higher standards to be honest. There are other sites though that are more writing orientated. Anyway my point isn't to be elitist it's simply an interesting aspect of the hobby and it's not about absolutes for me, sure in a RT reading "Don't ghost me" I roll my eyes but in a chat thread I think it is reasonable for people to talk about it.

 

[OfYourDreams]

I think I have a couple red flags which fly right up. One, someone who trys to shame me for having preference or limits. I set up pretty clear boundaries and saying "just kidding" or "chill out". That is the point of limits.

Two being lectured about needing a bit of time by a total stranger when something is going on in my real life.

Three, when they take control of the person I am playing. I am great at moving a story forward and do not need anyone to make her do what they want. If you want a solo story why role play?

 

[RedRose]

Spelling.

"just for me lol", anything about not listening

judging/assuming I must be 'like that' in real life

try to get sexting

 

[Kateryna]

Really my only big red flag is if my partner tries to turn it into an OOC relationship. I've had that happen a lot and if it steers towards that I'm pretty sensitive to it; it's awful because it's uncomfortable being pressed for voice chat/pics and in the few places where I did either or both the RP almost instantly died since it was just purely an OOC thing from there out and it felt like they were almost trying to hold the RP hostage in exchange for more of the OOC things.

 

[PhoenixRising82]

Really my only big red flag is if my partner tries to turn it into an OOC relationship. I've had that happen a lot and if it steers towards that I'm pretty sensitive to it; it's awful because it's uncomfortable being pressed for voice chat/pics and in the few places where I did either or both the RP almost instantly died since it was just purely an OOC thing from there out and it felt like they were almost trying to hold the RP hostage in exchange for more of the OOC things.

Just recently had something very similar happen. You have every right to be sensitive about it and it is hellaciously uncomfortable. When I, for all intents and purposes, checked the person on this, they disappeared, without word. Mind you, when I presented the story idea at first, they were all about “I don’t know why people have ghosted on this story or not been into it......” yada yada but the second I checked them on the personal level and tried to steer it back to the RP and story level.....he ghosted. I chuckled and I don’t feel in the least bit bad or awkward anymore but I did when he was trying to get really personal.

 

[Mr Quixotic]

Another is members who have been here a fair amount of time, but don't have a RT of their own. Gives me the impression that while they're content to cherry-pick potential partners based on what they've written in their RT's, they're unwilling to divulge the same level of information in return.

Particularly relevant to me as my thought-process works in terms of global context. Reading someone's preferences expressed in their own (unsolicited) words allows me to see connections with mine, gauge compatibility and offer up suggestions, even if at first glance they seem to be polar opposites. Otherwise, trying to extract specifics through conversation in the way it makes sense to me in the context of the whole can be an exercise in frustration; like trying to get blood from a stone.

It also lets me know they're not just telling me what I want to hear. Before I find out otherwise once the story starts.

 

[lasciel]

My main red flags I think have been echoed already in this thread:

• Messaging you out of the blue for RP content you're utterly uninterested in, based on your easy-to-find request thread
• Excessive neediness or demands in a request thread
• Plot descriptions in a request thread that are phrased in terms of "you" and "I/me" rather than "your characters" and "my characters", especially when the whole thread reads as a pile of self-inserts
• Big blocks of run-on sentences in a request thread, no formatting (I don't mean ~*pretty fonts*~, but a few section headers go a long way)
• Long lists of pairings with no sense of plot direction or ideas for character relationships

The only unique one I have to add is "people who clearly don't know what they want" (e.g., "up for anything", or "fantasy! [followed by no description of what this may mean]). So instead I'll add some... yellow? flags. Things that make me hesitate or think twice, though haven't necessarily stopped me.

• Overly smutty/pornographic avatar pictures, as it really suggests (to me) that the writer is here for one specific thing, and I'm a sort of plot-oriented gal
• Selfie avatars, as I prefer some level of abstraction between OOC and real-life
• An absolute lack of public-facing role play posts, which is my lightest of yellow flags, as I'm partially guilty of this myself

But if you want an exclusive forum with standards and to harbor only serious writers...just go to Elliquiy. Lol. Vek runs that one too and it already has a higher standard of writing and community. Here, you accept that in the pool right next to serious writers are people who are here for smut with some writing in it, lol. And as a result, some clash is to be expected which creates a fallout of those who think it's the height of rudeness when others avoid confrontation for their own personal safety and wellbeing.

I keep toying with this idea, and then I get to the admission requirements and worried I won't pass muster, and convince myself that it's not worth trying to begin with. Which is awfully self-defeating in some ways, but probably good for my overall work-hobby-sleep balance.

 

[gelidAtelier]

My biggest flag is when people just... come off as unpleasant.
Like, I'm not always perfect in this respect, but I do my best to scrub negativity from my RTs, even when covering things I don't like.
Like, I know I'm going out trying to interact with others, so I should at least give off a positive vibe.

Like, if I had a long list of requirements and restrictions, I'd probably start off with, "Hey, I have a very specific craving that has an inordinate amount of conditions!" and then stow it behind a spoiler for anyone who might be up for it.

But sometimes you see people be like:
"THE FOLLOWING STIPULATIONS ARE MANDATORY"

And it's like... damn! We got Judge Dredd up in here.

They could otherwise match up all my preferences and I'd still be questioning how much I really want to spend time and energy interacting with them.

 

[Kateryna]

Looks like it keeps getting said, but complaining about ghosting too often. If ghosting is that huge of a deal for your rp life it makes me wonder why everyone ghosts you.

Also when they are just outright hostile and demanding. I assume ill break one of their rules/demands and make the whole situation awkward at some point. So I don't even bother putting myself in the situation to make that possible.

Fandoms are ehhh.

A bunch of plots centered on smut make me assume they dont write captivating stories very well.

What I do like is humor. When I see good sarcasm and someone who doesnt take themselves too seriously, I know we’ll click OOC, which helps for plotting and what not.

I've had mixed things with people who complain about ghosting. Some have been really good RPers who tend to play a lot and don't like absences and I don't really mind that since it's nice to have someone who can play frequently. Some though have been people who seem to make a point of demanding an exit interview when an RP isn't going well and needs to dropped. The strange thing is that with quite of few of those types if you actually tell them what's wrong with the RP/playstyle/etc they'll get really offended and drop themselves. So it's kind of a weird thing that way. What I do now is just tell people what's going wrong if there's a big problem and if it's too much of an issue to solve I just let it die there.

Probably the strangest are the people who act like jerks and act like they aren't really enjoying the game until you stopped responding everyday and suddenly they get clingy and want to play 24/7. I've had that happen a few times.

 

[greybishop]

For me, the one big red flag in an RT is if it says something along the lines of “I like to play submissive characters, but ones who are strong willed.” I’ve found that far too often what this really means is “I’m interested in dominance and submission roleplay, but want to be able to top from the bottom during the sex scenes.” So this is essentially a very specific example of a general red flag that’s already been mentioned, an RT that is vaguely worded and makes it sound as if the OP doesn’t actually know what they’re looking for.

I finally got so tired of this that I attached an addendum to my RT addressing just this distinction – which I fully realize may serve as a red flag to others (even though I tried to make the addendum as friendly and informative as possible.) But personally I would much rather miss out on a few potential partners here or there, vice sinking time and energy into planning and starting roleplays that fall apart due to my partner and I not really being compatible. (FWIW I view this as not just a writing site, but a collaborative writing site; IMO that’s what good roleplaying is all about. If I wanted to just work on my writing skills, I’d post on Literotica and not have to bother with the whole RT mini-game.)

 

[Mathim]

I dislike when they waffle on certain things. Like, they'll say they like the sound of my idea without giving any feedback as to what they would change, then as we get further along, they want to omit or change something that I had started to plan around and now have to backtrack on because they weren't taking care to read it thoroughly and make it known they weren't completely on board with the idea as presented.