What is your Red Flag when LF RP Partner?

[M00nbean]

What are some things that immediately turn you off to a potential RP partner or just an RP in general?

 

[abao]

ppl who type liek dis even b4 the rp start

 

[PhoenixRising82]

I’m pretty easy going, except for my hard no’s, those I won’t bend on. So if someone tries to insist on “giving it a try”, and won’t take no for an answer.....that’s a pretty big red flag.

Other flags however sometimes don’t crop up until well into the RP/OOC, just various personality traits that I hate or that rub me the wrong way....that’s a pretty bright flag and a quick RP ender.

 

[east]

Actually just had this happen I send out a very detailed greeting introduce myself and what I want and I get back, "yeah that sounds good."

 

[Dirty Fingers]

Poor spelling, we all make mistakes and I am not great either but when every second word is spelled wrong it messes with my "immersion".

Bad face claims really piss me off too. Whether it is a real person that just doesn't suit the character or it's an animated one. Again I can't take it seriously.

 

[Jericho Z. Barrons]

Red flag for me: Folks who complain constantly about ghosting. It makes me think either there must be a legit reason everyone keeps abandoning projects with this person or that they are not emotionally stable enough to handle something as innocuous as silent rejection.

Bad enough that it is something that is literally a part of anonymous internet culture and not something super serious to get agitated about(like, no duh, it sucks; you're not a revolutionary for stating how unfair and rude it is). But it also makes me think they simply aren't self-aware enough to realize they are advertising how unappealing they are as a partner.

I especially pay attention around this time of year, from here until about February. Because a great bulk of the forum is American based and we have several national family-focused holidays from here to January that people often travel for. It'd be nice to be notified about a Thanksgiving trip but honestly, it's also a no-brainer that if someone stops logging on the week of, it's not you being deliberately ghosted. If I see people with US locations complain about ghosting during this time of year, it's a red flag because it tells me they are not empathetic or aware of basic context clues outside of themselves. And that's kind of troubling, honestly.

I would tell my partner before going off on any trips but if I didn't and just went to visit family during Christmas and New Years, taking a break from the site for real life joy and happiness, it would be extremely offputting and insulting to log back in and be accused of being an asshole because my partner couldn't take their self-centered blinders off and thought I'd just dropped them. Like, zero chill. Yikes.

 

[jennica enslaved]

If they just say "hi" and keep things vague or just regurgitate whatever my idea was without adding their own desires and ideas to it then the ice is already thin.

Oh thank you, I'm not the only one! Hehe. This just drives me crazy. And it happens a lot!

And generally expecting me to set everything up for them, particularly when they're supposed to be the ones with the advantage in the story. It's not much of an advantage if I'm building the whole environment first without any coordination on particulars, is it? Besides... "Whole" Yaaaah. It's a bit much when no one else comes partway on details that make a difference to starting out. I ask for fine point hints and just get told oh do whatever you like. Then I do it, and they don't like it. Gee wonder why. I'd rather find that out thru OOC - I look at the vibe and what they focus on there first - rather then go through all that. When I post on my own I post a whole lot and it takes me a lot of time to get it so I like it. But if they don't clearly like much of the same ingredients, why bother.

 

[Dirty Fingers]

Red flag for me: Folks who complain constantly about ghosting. It makes me think either there must be a legit reason everyone keeps abandoning projects with this person or that they are not emotionally stable enough to handle something as innocuous as silent rejection.

Bad enough that it is something that is literally a part of anonymous internet culture and not something super serious to get agitated about(like, no duh, it sucks; you're not a revolutionary for stating how unfair and rude it is). But it also makes me think they simply aren't self-aware enough to realize they are advertising how unappealing they are as a partner.

I especially pay attention around this time of year, from here until about February. Because a great bulk of the forum is American based and we have several national family-focused holidays from here to January that people often travel for. It'd be nice to be notified about a Thanksgiving trip but honestly, it's also a no-brainer that if someone stops logging on the week of, it's not you being deliberately ghosted. If I see people with US locations complain about ghosting during this time of year, it's a red flag because it tells me they are not empathetic or aware of basic context clues outside of themselves. And that's kind of troubling, honestly.

I would tell my partner before going off on any trips but if I didn't and just went to visit family during Christmas and New Years, taking a break from the site for real life joy and happiness, it would be extremely offputting and insulting to log back in and be accused of being an asshole because my partner couldn't take their self-centered blinders off and thought I'd just dropped them. Like, zero chill. Yikes.

I call it the Riot Act when the list of rules is the longest part of the thread. How long posts should be, how often you should respond, don't ghost me as if by just writing that it makes it law. I'm not American but I am mindful of when college is about to go back as I have been ghosted many times in that period especially if the RP is new.

Grammar and the length of their initial pitch to me. If they just say "hi" and keep things vague or just regurgitate whatever my idea was without adding their own desires and ideas to it then the ice is already thin. I'll bluntly tell such people off if it gets to be three messages like that in a row when I ask them what they want, and usually they block me because I'm a meanie at that point. ^_^ I'm much friendlier to people when I turn them down over grammar-related reasons though. I'm not here to babysit or change anyone's typing habits. I don't care. There are plenty of fish. You do you, just not with me.

For sure. I really need to be engaged and see that the person can express themselves in writing, if I'm not getting much from them I feel it will be futile to RP with them and they will write one liners, rush to sex and/or ghost me quickly.

Oh thank you, I'm not the only one! Hehe. This just drives me crazy. And it happens a lot!

And generally expecting me to set everything up for them, particularly when they're supposed to be the ones with the advantage in the story. It's not much of an advantage if I'm building the whole environment first without any coordination on particulars, is it? Besides... "Whole" Yaaaah. It's a bit much when no one else comes partway on details that make a difference to starting out. I ask for fine point hints and just get told oh do whatever you like. Then I do it, and they don't like it. Gee wonder why. I'd rather find that out thru OOC - I look at the vibe and what they focus on there first - rather then go through all that. When I post on my own I post a whole lot and it takes me a lot of time to get it so I like it. But if they don't clearly like much of the same ingredients, why bother.

I hate that as well. If I wanted to write alone I would, I wouldn't bother with trying to find a partner. Likewise when someone wants to change up my WHOLE idea to suit themselves. I had someone approach me about a cuckolding idea I had where they asked "Can the human be a werewolf cucked by a vampire?" ummmmm no.

 

[Jericho Z. Barrons]

I call it the Riot Act when the list of rules is the longest part of the thread. How long posts should be, how often you should respond, don't ghost me as if by just writing that it makes it law. I'm not American but I am mindful of when college is about to go back as I have been ghosted many times in that period especially if the RP is new.

It's a hilariously apt name for it, definitely, lawl. Because that's what it feels like. I'm mostly talking about if I see them posting in the profile feed bemoaning the fact that people often avoid confrontation online like this is their first day on the internet. But if I see capslock or red font and detect an angry tone in an RT, that too is very worrying. It certainly doesn't make me think, "Oh, I bet they're fun."

Someone who gets so uptight and angry about ghosting is actually validating the ghoster's avoidance of being upfront with them, in my opinion. I mean, if you act like that when nobody has said anything to you at all, I can't imagine the impression is, "I bet they're just a warm fuzzy bundle when being rejected directly."

 

[LordLicentious]

My red flags with partners tend to be pretty straightforward:

1. If a RT is packed to the gills with demands of others (as noted above) with little information on the poster's own style and habits, I'm turned off. I like to affect a cocksure attitude in conversation, but I try to approach my RT and the like with a certain degree of humility, which means focusing on listing the things I have to offer rather than insisting that prospective partners fit a specific mold.

2. If the other person's ideas are so rigidly defined that there's no room for me to contribute to the worldbuilding, that's usually gonna be a pass.

3. Conversely, I'm also a very flexible writer, so if I'm in a situation of discussing an RP without a clear idea of setting/tone/theme/etc. already decided on, I'll usually ask my partner to, based on their own tastes, narrow it down a little in some way, just enough to serve as a springboard for my imagination. Those that can't, and expect me to conjure up a premise from nothing on my own (especially when I've already got several premises already laid out in my RT), is probably not gonna work out as a partner.

4. If someone has clearly put no effort into reading my RT or F-list before messaging me, and approaches me with just a "hey wanna play" rather than providing a specific idea, they are unlikely to get an enthusiastic response. Exceptions exist here, but I want prospective partners to at least be aware of my kinks and preferences before asking to play (I mean, how else do they know they want to play with me in the first place?).

 

[Kleo]

Gotta say I have a few pet peeves that immediately turn me off. Most of it doesn't usually occur but when it does I don't usually have the energy to deal with it.

1. Not contributing to the conversation. RP as a whole is a collaborative space and if I'm the only one coming up with ideas or getting one-liners it's really easy to lose interest. Sooner or later I'm just going to say no thanks and finish it up.

2. Someone who keeps pushing what they might like on me and my characters. I like to think I can be very flexible, but certain things are absolutely hard no's for me and if someone tries to constantly bring them up in the RP it makes me really uncomfortable, particularly if I've already said I'm not into it.

3. People who constantly ask if I'm going to reply every few hours. I'm an adult with a life (arguably) and a job, I don't have the time to sit at the computer all day and write out replies every hour. This is very rare but when it does happen it can be incredibly irritating.

 

[HeyThereLittleBear]

Wanting the lowest age BMR allows.

Hard pass. Hard fuckin' pass.

 

[obieblu]

As my mother taught etiquette, and I have some standards for interpersonal respect that I'm trying to maintain even now living in a country with incredibly low standards, and considering all the ranting against people who have manners that I'm seeing recently, I'm starting to see 'Ghosting Friendly' as a red flag, as I'm wondering if it means that person is including themselves in the group with poor manners. Maybe they just have low self-respect and don't value their own time and effort. There have been enough RTs that I haven't had the need to ask one, yet. But it's something I now watch out for, and I won't contact them if the rest of their RT is 50/50 for me. Not that I do one-liners, but when someone says they'll just stop responding... wow. To demand to waste both our times with demanding that I write some pointless environmental drivel in the middle of some simple back-and-forth dialog. Naw, our styles are incompatible if it's The End of Everything if there's an occasional short post and to punish silently rather than poke or negotiate. If you wouldn't do it in a face-to-face conversation, don't do it online. That's what I generally live by online and look for from partners.

Though, normally and in my +20 years of on-and-off online RPing, the biggest red flag is when their tone is that contacting them is equivalent to applying for a job at Google. That they're the most amazing person ever to exist, and you'll be lucky if they deign to read your PM. Naw. I'm not about to approach a stranger on bloody knees and beg for their approval. I can only imagine was long-term engagement with them would be like. That's not to say that rules and standards are a red flag, but it's the tone and presentation. I actually want to see some of their rules and standards so I can make a more educated guess about whether or not we have compatible standards. (If they ask for basic decency when ending an RP, I'm reassured they will reciprocate.) A complete lack of posted standards is also a red flag. I'll never respond to "I just want to play anything with anyone!"

That's the big one. But similar things to other posters like someone who's into questionably underage just makes me want to stay way from them. Most other kinks don't make me run as long as they're not required. Also, as I really want chat RP partners, I appreciate someone mentioning their post infrequency. I'll never voluntarily engage with something less than 1 post per day.

*Specific to this forum because of the gender tags, I'm noticing that the types who decline after talking or ghost after planning the most are the MxAny's. I suspect they really want bi, and even though I'm clear I'm MxM, once we get ready to go IC, it hits them that there won't be any bewbs. It's not yet a red flag, but it will likely grow into one.

 

[Mr Quixotic]

My red flags are;

"I (can) only write submissive characters."

and

Those who constantly whine in public about being ghosted. Or that in future they might be ghosted....again. It makes me think there must be a valid reason it keeps happening to them.

The Goodman's comment about it hit the nail on the head.

 

[midnight-tune]

My main red flag is not contributing to ideas for the roleplay while talking OOC.

 

[Dirty Fingers]

My main red flag is not contributing to ideas for the roleplay while talking OOC.

Or if the RP actually gets started talking OOC without responding to the RP!

 

[FumeiYuusha]

Real life gender restrictions. That's a huge red flag...far too often it leads to the person wanting something outside of the RP.

People who post multiple times instead of just once. I prefer a nice one-post back and forth in RP.

The rest that's on my mind has already been said so no reason for me to reiterate.

 

[Arjana]

Red flag for me: Folks who complain constantly about ghosting. It makes me think either there must be a legit reason everyone keeps abandoning projects with this person or that they are not emotionally stable enough to handle something as innocuous as silent rejection.

Bad enough that it is something that is literally a part of anonymous internet culture and not something super serious to get agitated about(like, no duh, it sucks; you're not a revolutionary for stating how unfair and rude it is). But it also makes me think they simply aren't self-aware enough to realize they are advertising how unappealing they are as a partner.

I especially pay attention around this time of year, from here until about February. Because a great bulk of the forum is American based and we have several national family-focused holidays from here to January that people often travel for. It'd be nice to be notified about a Thanksgiving trip but honestly, it's also a no-brainer that if someone stops logging on the week of, it's not you being deliberately ghosted. If I see people with US locations complain about ghosting during this time of year, it's a red flag because it tells me they are not empathetic or aware of basic context clues outside of themselves. And that's kind of troubling, honestly.

I would tell my partner before going off on any trips but if I didn't and just went to visit family during Christmas and New Years, taking a break from the site for real life joy and happiness, it would be extremely offputting and insulting to log back in and be accused of being an asshole because my partner couldn't take their self-centered blinders off and thought I'd just dropped them. Like, zero chill. Yikes.

Everything in this post, just yes.

 

[Arjana]

Like a lot of others have said, people who make a point to whine about ghosting makes me give them the side eye. It happens to everyone, and whining about it in such anger-fueled detail makes me wonder maybe there was a reason for all the ghosting.

Another red flag is for me are those you ignore details about your RT and clearly didn't read it through/didn't pay attention to things you've said. And also those who don't contribute in the planning phase. If I'm sending you 2+ paragraphs of ideas/thoughts/questions about the upcoming RP and you're only replying with 2 sentences, um, bye.

 

[Flex]

Looks like it keeps getting said, but complaining about ghosting too often. If ghosting is that huge of a deal for your rp life it makes me wonder why everyone ghosts you.

Also when they are just outright hostile and demanding. I assume ill break one of their rules/demands and make the whole situation awkward at some point. So I don't even bother putting myself in the situation to make that possible.

Fandoms are ehhh.

A bunch of plots centered on smut make me assume they dont write captivating stories very well.

What I do like is humor. When I see good sarcasm and someone who doesnt take themselves too seriously, I know we’ll click OOC, which helps for plotting and what not.

 

[FumeiYuusha]

Slowly, the new red flag is starting to become the 'people complaining about 'people complaining about ghosting' ' at this rate. Just saying.

 

[Flex]

Slowly, the new red flag is starting to become the 'people complaining about 'people complaining about ghosting' ' at this rate. Just saying.

Its a fair point. I say it just cause ghosting hasnt been too big a problem in my experience. So what do they do differently that makes it happen so often to them?

Im fine with being ghosted, and expect it if we aren't clicking, just for the record. Maybe im a terrible person though.

Also in conjunction with it, most people like this will message you the second you miss a day. Or they see you responded to someone else, or that you were online and they want to know why you havent replied. Its like having a clingy rl partner.

 

[Arjana]

Thankfully, I've never run into the clingy rp partner yet.

 

[Isabelle]

Slowly, the new red flag is starting to become the 'people complaining about 'people complaining about ghosting' ' at this rate. Just saying.

My biggest red flag is people complaining about people complaining about people complaining about ghosting. Drives me up the apples and pears.

In all seriousness I'm in the camp that thinks that the strict and demanding requests are big bad red flags. I'm about as assertive as a wet poppadom and too many times I've let myself get into something I really don't enjoy because I find the other person scary.

Im fine with being ghosted, and expect it if we aren't clicking, just for the record. Maybe im a terrible person though.

Maybe I'm a bad person too, but you're not alone, Flex. Personally I really enjoy the planning and OOC chatter before the RP begins. It might even be my favourite stage. Thus, I'm not too sad if I'm ghosted. It just means it's time to start something new and exciting!

 

[FumeiYuusha]

I usually don't ask at all, unless I'm uncertain. If someone promises a reply to me, I go for the "Did you forget, or were you just busy?" I always default to people being busy, and I definitely don't complain about being ghosted. However, real life gender restrictions I complain about passionately. -.- Maybe it's my 'red flag', and I guess you better avoid me if you only play with a certain gender.

Is there a "What are my red flags" thread actually? I'd totally list all my flaws there so people would know before they sign up for all the trouble I can be. XD