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Ghosting to Successful RPs ratio?

_Jess_

_Jess_

Planetoid
Joined
Jul 1, 2019
I'm just curious on what percentage people tend to leave a roleplay without explanations. Sometimes it's funny. I've been approached by 30+ people, agreed to all of their plot points yet none of them was successful (not even started).

I'm curious as to why this happens
 
I can't speak to the reasons your particulars happened, but it's an unfortunate part of picking about in a roleplaying setting.

I couldn't tell you the specific amount of 'ghostings' that have happen but there have been plenty of instances where both myself or my partner simply thought they had replied to a roleplay and that left it dead for weeks or months. Sometimes people don't have the time to get a reply or starter out immediately and I'm guilty of that myself. That being said, I've had many successful roleplays over the years and while only a few of them have been given a proper ending (much like ending a successful TV show no one ever wants to until they're getting fatigued) I have played many of them to a satisfying degree that have eventually faded away in the background either silently or to the agreement of both parties. I would encourage you to just keep at it, it's not easy to have to push through all the roleplays that barely get off the ground, but even the ones that only make it to some murky middle ground at often fond memories for me. There can be a million different reasons from someone not knowing how they want to write up a starter, real life getting in the way, not meshing as they thought they would with a partner. Keep at it and eventually you'll find a few partners that you really mesh with, and they'll give you the satisfying stories that you're looking for, in the end.

Best of luck with finding them!
 
I've have it happen multiple times, sometimes they would leave and all of a sudden i would get a request for the person who ghosted me, saying they wanted to do a new idea and completely forgot or don't want to talk about the roleplay we were doing before, one time we had this really good singer x manger rp it was amazing, and then nothing. We had rped for months and bam.
 
There's a lot of possible reasons.
I think there's just an unwillingness to properly communicate that pervades roleplaying communities, and possibly as an aspect of humanity in general.
And I think it gets exacerbated as people have more "ghosted" experiences themselves, and they don't think its worth the effort to even send a "sorry i'm quitting" message.

Maybe an aspect of that is a social pressure thing too, they don't want to feel like the bad guy.

I think a lot of people expect some super ultra perfect WOW thing that is exactly what they want, and if a potential roleplay doesn't fit that, they leave and keep looking.

Starters I think are particularly difficult. No one ever seems to want to discuss them or anything.


I guess a solution... especially if you are getting frequently approached, is to work on some very specific details, have some potential starter posts ready to go, and see if anyone shows interest in that. Ask that they come with their own specifics and if they have them, you should be good, if they don't have them, you can just refuse.
May or may not help, but it's something I've been considering because a lot of the times when I approach someone for an RP and they seem amenable at first, it just gets throttled as I try to figure out what they want from me.
 
I try not to ghost people a lot of the time, normally if i accidently do it i'll get back to them a week later and explain what had happened, but then again that pisses them off and makes them feel worst about it. I've had partners who have not only ghosted me, but got mad because i didn't ask them why,
 
I once theorized that half of all rps never start and 75% of all rps died in the first two months. The fact is, it is easier and more exciting to start something new than it is to see something to completion. I definitely wouldn't take it personally.
 
My success rates are as follows:

For every twenty people I message, I get back maybie 2 replies. For every 20 or so replies and discussions that happen, one or two are worth keeping. Of the twenty or so RPs that result from that, about half stick around for long term.

Call it a low success rate. Rather than get frustrated, I see it as the price of finding an RP partner thats worth it.

To better answer your question, Id say its a variety of factors. Of the 30+ people who approach you and discuss plots, initially they are intent and genuine. The ideas are perfect in thier heads, but then comes the "work aspect" of maintaining the RP. Interest is then gradually lost for whatever additional reasons, till one person ghosts or just ends the rp directly. *shrugs*
 
I'll just speak for myself but due to so many RP's being dropped over the years or never even started or my first post responded to, I have become very cynical and probably too picky. I need to know the person can express themselves in writing and has some ideas. So when they approach me with vague information or just "want to RP" I tend to back away. Sometimes I try and engage them, try and get some more input from them but if I have doubts I would prefer to just not start it.

What can also sometimes happen is the RP can be discussed too much and I wonder if it is even worth playing it as it feels like it has been played out during chat. So it is a fine line. I had that happen recently on another site. My partner liked to keep chatting about things 10 steps ahead and I found that there weren't any surprises left in the RP we were playing and I just got bored. I like it when a RP takes on a life of it's own and goes places neither player ever counted on.
 
Sadly, for every fun, successful RP I have that gets off the ground, I think I have at least 3 that get planned on some level and then I never hear from the other person again. For every successful Rp that gets rolling, I probably leave 1/5 for various reasons, but usually I inform the other person as to the why. Ghosting is rude.
 
I had one get dropped recently after one set of posts, I checked the persons profile and it stated that they are going back into training for whatever it is they train for. Makes me wonder why people start RP's when they know something is coming up, it has happened a few times. Maybe they think that the RP will be done really quickly in a short amount of time. Possible if you are willing to sit at your computer all day I guess.

Due to having a long time RP partner I think my ratio is in favour of completed, whether completed means the story came to it's natural end or we ended it mutually due to no longer having a passion for that RP itself.

As to why people just dump a RP? Well, I am not immune to it so will speak for myself. Sometimes I see that the persons style doesn't match mine or the person has taken the RP in such a weird direction or advanced the plot so much it feels like Godmodding. Once I dropped a RP because my partner changed her character, something very key about her character was completely changed which in turn just altered everything about the story.

Various reasons I guess and I suppose for some people life gets in the way or they are new to RP and trying it out, learn they don't like it. I wonder if more complex RP's are more likely to be dumped as well.

Edit: I am wondering if agreeing to all of their plot points is counter productive as well. I know when I have had that happen I feel like the other person doesn't have any of their own ideas and is just willing to let me drive the whole thing. I know that sounds odd, but at times I am only trying to brainstorm with them not lay down the law as such.
 
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The Ghosting thing has really gotten on my nerves. I had no idea how well I had it before when all my RP was done in the confines of an RP browser game. Sure, some people showed up and interacted with you one or maybe two times, but generally, there was always a large cast of long-term characters for you to interact with at any time. By the time you had a romance/close ties to someone, you already knew they were going to stick around, and eventually when people quit the game, it had an ending with one character's death or departure. There were some who just quietly ghosted or slowly stopped responding, leaving you in a bit of a limbo, and those were the worst.

I find this whole looking for partner thing to be quite bothersome because in the three weeks I have been looking, I've found maybe 30 people who started talking to me. Twenty of those simply stopped responding after the initial contact. Five of them plotted something that seemed to satisfy both of us and then disappeared without a trace. Three of them we determined that we just weren't a good match. One started and in the middle of the RP suddenly stopped replying, when asked, they said everything was fine and they were loving it. They never did and never responded again after that. One was good, but we found out our timezones badly misalign and now we just chat.

I'm thinking I might go try playing MUDs again. I have some fond memories of those, although I'm not sure there is one that will really have what I'm looking for.
 
Pazzo said:
My success rates are as follows:

For every twenty people I message, I get back maybie 2 replies. For every 20 or so replies and discussions that happen, one or two are worth keeping. Of the twenty or so RPs that result from that, about half stick around for long term.

Call it a low success rate. Rather than get frustrated, I see it as the price of finding an RP partner thats worth it.

To better answer your question, Id say its a variety of factors. Of the 30+ people who approach you and discuss plots, initially they are intent and genuine. The ideas are perfect in thier heads, but then comes the "work aspect" of maintaining the RP. Interest is then gradually lost for whatever additional reasons, till one person ghosts or just ends the rp directly. *shrugs*
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Maybe it's because I'm a goyl, but 99% of people I approach at least reply to me. However, I do get a fair number of unsolicited requests, often of the 'hey let's RP' variety or asking for things that I'm not interested in, about 90-95% of which I turn down (I do always reply though, unless it's a repeat offender).

Of the approaches I make to people, I reckon it's about one third that go nowhere beyond an initial discussion/exploration, as one or the other of us discovers a deal breaker or decides it wasn't quite what we thought it might turn out to be be. Another third end within a few posts as it turns out not to be not what one or the other of us was hoping for, and about one third go on for a good distance (say, more than 2 months and a couple of dozen posts). I'd say that I end pretty much as many RPs as my partners do, though I try to always send a message to say so. Of those my partners end, about 70% are sudden disappearances/'ghosting'. My problem is periods of extreme busyness at work, during which I'm often not able to reply, and when I come out the other side, either I or my partner (again, about 50-50) are sometimes no longer as interested in the RP as we originally were. Games that survive those hiccups are ones that I cherish.

If guys are looking for tips on attracting more partners, then from my own experience can I just say have an interesting request thread up. I rarely post my own request threads as they lead to me being overwhelmed, overcommitting myself, and eventually letting people down. So I fish for interesting looking request posts and approach them.
 
Erios9090 said:
The Ghosting thing has really gotten on my nerves. I had no idea how well I had it before when all my RP was done in the confines of an RP browser game. Sure, some people showed up and interacted with you one or maybe two times, but generally, there was always a large cast of long-term characters for you to interact with at any time. By the time you had a romance/close ties to someone, you already knew they were going to stick around, and eventually when people quit the game, it had an ending with one character's death or departure. There were some who just quietly ghosted or slowly stopped responding, leaving you in a bit of a limbo, and those were the worst.

I find this whole looking for partner thing to be quite bothersome because in the three weeks I have been looking, I've found maybe 30 people who started talking to me. Twenty of those simply stopped responding after the initial contact. Five of them plotted something that seemed to satisfy both of us and then disappeared without a trace. Three of them we determined that we just weren't a good match. One started and in the middle of the RP suddenly stopped replying, when asked, they said everything was fine and they were loving it. They never did and never responded again after that. One was good, but we found out our timezones badly misalign and now we just chat.

I'm thinking I might go try playing MUDs again. I have some fond memories of those, although I'm not sure there is one that will really have what I'm looking for.
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I've found that a lot of what used to be popular just isn't anymore and it's rather difficult finding a like minded partner. Add to that, people misrepresenting themselves on purpose by due to having a completely different definition or outlook on what I am seeking and it makes things almost impossible. It's a far cry from the days when I had so many RP's going and so many people wanting to play with me.

I also find that I am not interested in what is popular now so it all adds up.

LizH said:
Maybe it's because I'm a goyl, but 99% of people I approach at least reply to me. However, I do get a fair number of unsolicited requests, often of the 'hey let's RP' variety or asking for things that I'm not interested in, about 90-95% of which I turn down (I do always reply though, unless it's a repeat offender).

Of the approaches I make to people, I reckon it's about one third that go nowhere beyond an initial discussion/exploration, as one or the other of us discovers a deal breaker or decides it wasn't quite what we thought it might turn out to be be. Another third end within a few posts as it turns out not to be not what one or the other of us was hoping for, and about one third go on for a good distance (say, more than 2 months and a couple of dozen posts). I'd say that I end pretty much as many RPs as my partners do, though I try to always send a message to say so. Of those my partners end, about 70% are sudden disappearances/'ghosting'. My problem is periods of extreme busyness at work, during which I'm often not able to reply, and when I come out the other side, either I or my partner (again, about 50-50) are sometimes no longer as interested in the RP as we originally were. Games that survive those hiccups are ones that I cherish.

If guys are looking for tips on attracting more partners, then from my own experience can I just say have an interesting request thread up. I rarely post my own request threads as they lead to me being overwhelmed, overcommitting myself, and eventually letting people down. So I fish for interesting looking request posts and approach them.
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I don't think gender has much to do with it. I also factor in that just because someone ticks the female box (pardon innuendo) that it doesn't mean they are really female. I also get the"Hey want to RP" PM's and the folks who say they love my ideas then want to change them to the point of them being different altogether.

Interesting RP threads are key but that is subjective. What is interesting to one is boring to another. Sometimes you just have to be seen at the right time by the right person. Build up a partnership with someone long term.
 
Considering my last roleplay forum, I have to say it was balanced. I had 3 long term roleplay partners, 2 that left without saying a word, and another 3 that left after either loosing interest or quitting the forum, but they announced their intention to quit.

It never bothered me that a roleplay ended, as long as people have the manners to say something. I get it, sometimes life just gets in the way and you are unable to write something right away. Still it would be nice for those who want to stop to just say so, and try to do it in a reasonable timeframe.

There are always more than enough people who want to play, but if your time is limited and you wait for someone who might or might not return it... it just sucks.


In the end it is up to everyone to just decide when to declare a roleplay a lost cause after someone hasn't replied in a while. Or if they want to wait a little longer.

Because you might be surprised by somebody resurfacing after half a year and picking up the roleplay once started. Guess it all depends on the circumstances and your own patience :)
 
I'm currently being ghosted (or it feels like it) by several... 👀

It's really frustrating when you plan for days, partner likes first few posts and then just vanishes.

And if you ask, they never tell the reason.

That's really frustrating and also hits hard on self esteem.

Basically 95 % of rps
 
Alot of my roleplays were left to be forgotten because the roleplayer's never got back to me. I used to end up doing the same thing but nowadays I would rather be honest with the person and tell them straight up whether I want to continue the roleplay or not. There needs to be more responsible partners like that too. :/
 
Sometimes I get down about my own writing or ideas and want to ghost myself. I'd say my success to ghost rate is 2 success for every 8 ghost.
 
Ghosting rate is indeed rather high. There is hardly a play I finished in forums. On F-List I got a better ratio. I guess mostly because it's chat based- still I have to admit I ghosted some people after finishing some plays as I really cannot say 'no' sometimes...
 
75% ghost
20% One side backs out/its not working.
5% Successful.

And that’s just the RPs that make it to starting, not the ones that people simply stop replying to be OOC planning.
 
JuniorWizard said:
I can't speak to the reasons your particulars happened, but it's an unfortunate part of picking about in a roleplaying setting.

I couldn't tell you the specific amount of 'ghostings' that have happen but there have been plenty of instances where both myself or my partner simply thought they had replied to a roleplay and that left it dead for weeks or months. Sometimes people don't have the time to get a reply or starter out immediately and I'm guilty of that myself.
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I can’t telate to this at all. Don’t you go “hmm I haven’t heard back from y in days, when was the last time I posted on that RP, let me check on that RP”?

Do you not set up email notifications? Bookmark your RP threads?

I mean, right now I have two responses owed and the email notifications are sitting at the top of my inbox glaring at me every time I open my email.

Maybe I’m just nuerotic, but if I don’t get a reply within 2 days, I’m looking to see when someone last logged on. I can’t imagine simply forgetting about an RP.
 
Mtvarisa said:
And if you ask, they never tell the reason.

That's really frustrating and also hits hard on self esteeM.
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Yep. I don’t know which is worse. Ghosting and they still log on regularly, or they simply never logged in again.

I have a few people that just seems to have dropped off the earth, it makes me worry and wonder what happened to them.
 
Maybe I'm lucky that I haven't been flat out ghosted after returning to RP and finding out it's all on forums, now. Though, (not counting a bunch of new partners in the last week or two), I got about 1/10 successful playing to someone who just dropped either just before we started or just after we started. Usually they had lame reasons or knew they'd be busy but started anyway. Most of them kept me waiting from 3 days to 3 weeks before answering me. So, like, short term ghosting?

Anyways. During those periods... oh, shit, watching them do lots of replies and actually starting new partner searches after I've pinged them like "Hey, what's up? Are we still playing?" C'mon. Basic manners. Cowards.
 
Dunno. I believe in communication and stress that on the outset. i (think) I got ghosted my first few times on BMR but haven't really been ghosted since. After that, I haven't had someone just stop talking to me without (eventual) explanation while still coming online and posting and completely ignoring my polite pokes.
IMHO, for me, it all boils down to patience and recognizing that we are all creative beings here on BMR and, as such, we all have our own little quirks and eccentricities and lives that effect us in unforeseeable ways to others and we should just be patient with each other, on both sides, and recognize that "ghosting" doesn't save people's feelings as much as it hurts them, so communication is paramount.
 
RedRose said:
You don't want to know… MOST games get ghosted.
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This.

I very rarely initiate contact for RP, almost always I let people message me. I'd say that around 1/3 of the people who message me end up resulting in actual RP beginning, the rest result in ghosting somewhere along the process. And of those 1/3, most will ghost after a handful of posts at most.

What's sort of funny is that I've only been here a month and change and I'm already getting people reaching out to me who previously ghosted me.
 
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