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A Single Red Stone. [A Fanfic needing a Beta Reader]

Crnobog

Planetoid
Joined
May 22, 2009
A small Child lay crying in the snow covered in a square of light from an empty doorway. A shadow suddenly fell over the little boy and he looked up with tear filled eyes. The stern looking woman looked down at him with a hate filled glare. "Lady... why? Why are you doing this? what have I done wrong?" Wept the boy. The woman was silent for a minute. "You exist, Monster." then she slammed the door leaving the boy stunned in the snow. “A-a Monster? I’m a Monster?” He said as he began to shake. Then stopped as he felt something ancient touch his mind. “Boy, there is so much we will do together.” rather than comfort the boy he just started shaking again.

15 Years Later.

SLAM!!! "Absolutely not, the very idea is absurd." Said the a old man as he slammed his fist on the desk of the Hokage. The man was a representative official of the Fire Country Daimyo, who had given him very clear instructions. Tsunade's eye's closed and she sighed deeply. "Mr.Kogima we can not do this Blind. The only other Shinobi we know of is Deidara of the Akatsaki, we need this man there is no other option." "But a mercenary?" said the man shaking his head. "how do we know he won't just take the money and ditch whoever we send with him?" "That's a very good point, But there is know one else and he is the only one who knows the inner workings of Iwagakure. Now Enough of this, I have made my decision already and he is on his way here. If you want to see him for yourself wait a little while." the man Scowled but nodded and took a set. Standing in the corner of the room Shizune watched this in silence. 'Kure-aka no Kal, hmm? I wonder what he's like?'

Kal walked down the main street of Konoha, a very professional look about him. He stopped suddenly to let a pair of children run by playing 'ninja', smiled and continued in his way. The Hunter-nin was no stranger to Konoha and had been here many times before, doing special jobs. Konoha was not without it's enemies and would need to be killed. But if another village got involved it wouldn't do to have Konoha ANBU be seen, They where good but the chance of the killing being traced back to Konoha and starting a war was to great. That was where Kal came in. He answered only to money and his own sense of honor and had nothing to trace him back to this village, not only that we was good at his job, excellent in fact. Now Lady Hokage had called on him again but for what he didn't know.

Shizune picked up the file on the desk and flipped through it. It showed a man know only as Kure-aka no Kal who had been working for Konoha secretly for the last 3 years. Originally from Iwagakure, he had left his village some time ago and had created as a Hunter-nin who always completed his mission and always worked alone, going so far as having drugged a Konoha ANBU who had been tailing him. Little else was know about him other than he had never show any interest in joining Konoha or any village. paper clipped inside was a small photo. The man had dark black hair to his shoulders and unnatural grey eyes. He wasn't smiling and looked of intensely focused on his face. the only knowledge of his abilities where those given in his name. 'Kure-aka no Kal' (Kal of the Bloody Clay) nothing else was known. She closed the file with a dissatisfied look on her face. "Tsunade-sama, who are you sending with him?" she asked "You didn't say." The Sannin looked back at her, an amused look on her face. “You.” “W-What? Your telling me now?" Said Shizune, panic on her face. "I was going to send Anko but she has fallen ill." Tsunade looked at her with narrow eyes. "You can handle it can't you?" "Of course, I was just surprised." Shizune's face was solemn as she said this. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Another attendant opened the door for Kal and he stepped into the office. He walked in, Tightening the knot on his Rock Village headband. He wore it in reverse with the knot in front, just above his right eye. Around his neck was a simple leather strap with a Clay Cherry Blossom on it, which matched the one on the back of his jacket, hidden by his pack for the moment. The small adornment was polished to a shine and had a wine red tint to it. Upon entering the room, he was greeted with a smile from the Hokage. At her side was Shizune and representative official of the Fire Country Daimyo. "Welcome, Kal, I'm glad you've come. I have an interesting job for you." Tsunade said regally. Kal was a little confused, "I assumed it's for what you usually Hire me for." His unnatural gray eye's glanced around to the others room. "I take it that's not why you called me her for." He adjusted the straps on his pack, a habit of his when he was a little self conscience. The Pack was huge, as big around as the base of Gaara's gourd the whole way up and just as tall. It only had a single opening at the top and was held closed with a coarse hemp rope, the same kind of rope that held it on his back.

"Actually, we've called you here for much less violent reasons. The Fire Country Daimyo has made his desires known for our village to form a relationship with Iwagakure, a diplomatic relationship...I'm sure you can understand the difficulties in this matter..." she said with a smile, pulling out an official document detailing the nature of the mission. The governmental official spoke up, adjusting his spectacles, "Yes, you see, we are going to be sending Lady Shizune as a diplomat of our village much the same way Sunagakure uses Lady Temari, but unlike them we don't have many who are still alive that know the inner workings of the village. We need a guide..." "And you want me to be that guide?" He crossed his arms and a serious look crossed his face. "This isn't my normal Kind of thing, You know I work alone. Your asking me to Protect this Woman, to guide and escort her to the Earth Country. Then to get us to Iwagakure past patrols that will just as soon kill us as look at us and to the very Gates of the village and hope they talk before they try to kill use." The Kage nodded, "I will expect payment, and considering the danger, I think double my normal rates should just barely cover it." There was a tiny hint of a smile on his lips. Hell, he had to make a living didn't he?

Tsunade grumbled a bit, having not been prepared for him to double his price. "Very well...we will pay you half now and half when the mission is complete. Sound fair?" she asked, knowing they would have the other half readily available in the time it took the complete the mission. Shizune was a bit miffed by Kal's attitude, already dreading their journey. Kal frowned a little, having expected being able to enjoy bartering with the Kage. Normally Tsunade would try to talk his price down but this mission seemed too important to her to waste the time. 'They must be really serious.' He thought to himself. 'But it's going to take more than this... Girl to convince Iwa to play nice.' He nodded to the Kage and looked at the Kunoichi in question. "She will follow my commands right? The last thing I need is her to question me when there's trouble."

"She has been loyal to me for many years," Tsunade said. "But the moment you show sings of faltering, she is under orders to terminate our connection and ditch you no matter how much danger it might put you in, understand?" she said sternly. Shizune looked at Kal with distrust, not certain whether or not she could trust this ninja for hire to ensure either of their safe passage... "Don't worry about me, I have a reputation to keep, and I can't keep it by failing or dieing." The Hunter-nin said as he bowed to them and after collecting His payment turned to leave. "Meet me at the gate in one hour, don’t be late." He said to Shizune as he passed by then walked out the door.

"I'll have the ANBU keep an eye on your path until you're out of the country, Shizune. Go ahead and get ready to leave. You are dismissed," Tsunade said to Shizune with a smile. Shizune bowed in thanks and took her leave. She didn't know why, but something about that Kal fellow wasn't quite right. She shook the thought out of her head and gathered her things from the waiting room. She began to make here way to the gate... Kal walked back down the street and Picked up some supplies. It was a long way to Iwa and once they entered the Land of Earth it would be hard to find a village. He shopped for 20 minutes or so the headed toward the gate. He beat Shizune there and Leaned against a tree just outside the gate. His clan robes blew in the wind, the Grey and Black Sleeves extended passed his knees normally, hiding his hands just as his Black Baggy pants hide his feet. Even with his arms crossed as they where the sleeves hung to his waist. He waited patiently for his charge.

Shizune approached the gate at a steady walking pace, taking her time. She was garbed in her usual blackish purple kimono with the white edging. She was rather fond of this outfit, after all. She spotted Kal as she approached the gate, giving him a wave and a smile. She would at least attempt to be friendly with this fellow, as much as he seemed to be unlikable. Kal waved in return and smiled warmly, as she approached. He then frowned he looked her over and noted the lack of a pack or anything else. "You bring your own supplies? It's a long trip and we won't find many villages on the way." He was just checking to make sure. He had bought enough stuff for both of them actually since he didn't drink or eat much, most of the supplies where for her. "For a ninja, you seem awfully focused on what is visible," she giggled, patting her stomach and arms. "I keep all of my supplies in hidden packs within this robe. It helps deter any bandits I happen to come across,” she said proudly, showing the ingenuity she was known for. Plus, the kimono hid all of her weapons, the various needle guns she kept on her incase she was attacked. "Just making sure. I like to be prepared, Even so I'm impressed. I brought plenty of extra stuff if you need it so don't me afraid to ask." He liked her laugh but quickly focused. "Let's go." He said.

Shizune nodded and followed him. It was somewhat unfortunate they had to make this journey on foot. But once they got into Earth Country, there would be hardly any other means of travel. For now, she would enjoy this part of the journey. Shizune did have a love for the forest after all. She couldn't help but let her gaze move to her companion though, intrigued by him somewhat.

hey traveled for quite sometime and down the well traveled road. Every now and then they passed a farmer on his way home from market or a traveler bound for Konoha. They passed through a few small villages but nothing large or extravagant. . Walking side by side she could see him close his eyes at regular intervals for two to three minute, but still seemed to know where to go. It was almost like he was checking something. "Lets make camp before it gets dark," He said. Shizune nodded, glancing up at the darkening sky. They where in know particular hurry yet and they didn't know if there stamina would be needed later; it was but not to push themselves yet.

They turned off the road and walked some distance away. They found a nice area quickly made camp. Kal made a small smokeless fire and began cooking. They where silent for a while before Kal caught Shizune looking at him again before she could turn away. "You don't seem to like me very much, do you?" he said suddenly. Kal may be a bit headstrong but he as a hunter-nin he took special attention to details, her body language told him something of how she felt around him.

His question caught the medical-nin off guard. "You are a bit crass and lacking in social graces," she said bluntly, turning away in hopes he hadn't noticed her looking at him. She blushed slightly as well, mostly at the forwardness of his question. "Does it really matter, though? We merely have to work together, not be friends..." Kal laughed at her reply. "Your right it doesn't matter, but it's a long way and it's better when you get along with who your traveling with." He smiled and shook his head. "And as for social graces, all they do is get in the way. People should just say what they mean, It would save is all a lot of headaches." She smiled a bit, finding herself somewhat agreeing with the man. She tended to be rather forward herself, often stopping to tell Tsunade exactly how she felt on certain situations. "So, if that's the case, why not tell me about yourself? All I know about you is a rank and name, nothing more, really."

Kal was a little taken aback, no one had ever asked him about himself. It was here’s the money; kill this person, thank you, goodbye. "Well, my real name is Tokita Kal, My clan was created to find and kill Uchiha's during the first Shinobi wars. Our Bloodline lets us see chakra, letting us fight with our eye's closed, making the Shinigan useless because it needs eye contact for most of its Genjutsu to work." "Ah, so you could level the playing field with them? That certainly made things easier, I'd assume. After that, it's a battle of skill alone." Shizune spoke with genuine interest, always enjoying hearing about new techniques and the like. "How did you come into the profession you have now?" she asked with a smile. "Well after the war out skills where no longer needed and Our sight lets us see over great distances. You see all chakra's are unique, like a thumbprint. By meeting a person once, or coming into contact with something his or her chakra had touched, we can find anyone, anywhere. A Tokita has never lost its Prey. The are... downsides though." "And those are?" she inquired; growing more curious with each bit of info he gave her. It was a treat to speak with ninjas from other regions of the world, something she always found fascinating. "Blindness, Its rare to find a Tokita over the age of 40 with his normal vision. When in use, Chakra is forced through the optic nerve, and with use over time it causes damage. We can see with our Bloodline still but since we can't see color or texture only location, distance and form we lose the ability to read, write and things like that." He said the last part with a little sadness.

"I see,” she said in a slightly more solemn tone, not quite certain how to respond to that last revelation. "How is your vision now? I suppose as a fairly active warrior, you must need to abuse the ability quite a bit." she said softly, almost with concern for the man. She was a doctor after all. "It's fine, I won't see any side effects for another 10 to 15 years." He said shaking the thought from his head and smiled. "By the way one of the ANBU following us just stubbed his toe on a root." Kal's Bloodline was very Precise for his age.

Shizune giggled, amused by his observation. "Well, it's good to know I have such an adept navigator to help me. Though, if you don't mind me asking, I'm curious as to why you broke connections with your village. You aren't listed as missing, but you are disassociated with them." "Lets just say I was unwanted. To the Village I was an eyesore they were all to happy to see go." he said as he rubbed his hidden wrists absent-mindedly. In fact Kal had never told anyone the reason why he had left. It was still and painful matter to him. "I understand...if you don't want to talk further, I won't force you..." she said softly, going quiet. She herself had parted from Konoha for many years to follow Tsunade, so she sort of knew what he spoke of, but somehow felt their cases were quite different... "Thanks." Said Kal Smiling again, He liked talking to this girl, and she was good company. "So what about you? All I know about you is your first name." It was true, all he had been told was protect her and act as her guide.

"Oh me? Um, well..." she giggled nervously, "My name is Nemoto Shizune, and I'm a specialist medical Jounin. I've known Lady Tsunade most of my life, being the niece of her ex-fiancé...Most of the time I handle day-to-day administrative duties of the village...a pretty boring life, actually..." she smiled, feeling her story was a bit inadequate compared to his. "You must get to meet a lot of interesting people. I hear some days Tsunade only gets her work done because of you getting her sober and awake." He suddenly got a horrible thought. "She didn't, umm, Bet on our success with the Daimyo did she?" He had heard that the Kage never one and if she did something horrible would happen. Shizune groaned, "Is her gambling really that notorious? You guessed right, she has a running bet with the Daimyo that this mission will in fact fail due to the uncooperative nature of the other party..." she sighed, having even been present when the deal was signed. "Normally it would be a pretty Safe bet, but with Tsunade Betting against us this mission might just work." They where silent after that and listened to the sounds around them. the fire slowly burned low and Shizune fell asleep on a blanket Kal had let her use. Kal himself stood up and climbed high into a nearby oak tree. reaching the top he looked up at the star filled sky and then looked to the north. "Home, huh?" He leaned back on a branch and slowly fell asleep, his back to the trunk.

Shizune woke in the morning to find herself alone with a breakfast of red bean soup waiting for her on a nearby rock. She stood up flattened the wrinkles that had formed in her dress while she had slept. She didn't see Kal anywhere but was sure that if he had ditched her the Anbu would have woken her. She walked over to a small creek nearby and washed up a little and ate the soup which was quite delicious. "Now where did that damn Kal go?" She sighed to herself as she walked off to find him. "Up here." Said a voice and she looked up to see Kal high in the trees watching the sunrise. Her face softened as she saw the sad look on his face and she realized he was looking north, toward the Land of Earth.

Kal slid off the edge of the Branch and landed on the ground before her with a heavy thump. "You ready?" he asked her to which she nodded in response. They continued in there trek and where met with little incident. As they walked Shizune asked Kal questions about the Earth Country, trying to give herself a wider knowledge base. This went on for most of the day until Kal stopped suddenly.

His eye's where closed, the lids glowing softly. "Where have company, bandits by the look of it, 5 of them." Shizune was a little surprised at this. 'What the hell are those Anbu doing? Taking a break?' when she go hold of them she would give them and ear full. Suddenly Kal moved over and pushed Shizune to the ground rather roughly she looked up from the ground to see a cluster of Shurikan where she had just been. A bandit followed after it, Kunai in hand. Kal Spun and with a flick of his wrist a dark red Shurikan flew out striking the man hard. Kal stopped and took a stance as the other 4 came into view. Kal's eye where still closed as he waited for them to make their move. Their leader nodded to the two on his left and they leapt to attack. Rotating to the left he catch the wrist of the first in-between his body and his arm wrapped his arm around the bandits and with a twist and a sickening pop, dislocated it at the shoulder and elbow. He then quickly delivered a sharp downward kick to the side of the bandits knee dislocating that too letting the man fall the ground screaming.

Shizune grimaced at the sight, as a Medical-nin she knew just how much more painful and crippling a dislocation was than a broken bone. She jumped to her feet just as Kal swiftly moved in and Knocked out the other with a swift blow to the head. Shizune move beside him and glanced at the two on the ground. Kal's methods had been brutal but there men would live. The Leader gritted his teeth in rage at seeing his men on the ground. His remaining man back away a few steps from the ninja's then turned tail and flew in terror. "Fucking Coward!!!" yelled the leader. Judging from his dirty, scratched up headband on his leg, he was a former Genin from Sunagakure. He made a few seals, "Multiple Blades Technique.” He said as he threw a cluster of kunai into the air they realigned facing the pair. “Die.” he said as a few came shooting out at them. Kal was first to act, he signed rapidly, “Earth Release: Earth Shore Return!” he said slamming his fists on the ground causing a large slab of earth to rise up and block the attack. Shizune glanced over at Kal only to see he was gone. She suddenly heard a loud pop and a scream coming from the other side of the earth wall.

She snapped out of lethargy and ran around the wall to find Kal standing over the nuke-nin who’s hip looked dislocated. “You okay?” asked Kal. Shizune nodded slowly. “What was that? I’ve never seen a fighting style quite like that.” she said with more than a little shocked at the Skill shown. “It’s called Shattered Fist style, it’s the Taijutsu method of my Clan and designed to take the will to fight out of an enemy rather then kill them. Live bounty is worth more than a dead one.” he said as he grabbed the Sand-nin but the collar and picked him up as his other hand grabbed the mans wrist.

“How did you get passed the Anbu guarding us?” He said pulling back one of his fingers. “No, Please! We, we distracted them with one of out members who pretended to be injured. When they helped them we snuck by.” Kal’s face darkened. “They used a Genjutsu.” said a voice behind them. Shizune turned to see a squad of Anbu with a unconscious man in the arms of one of them. “You were careless,” Said Kal coldly a hint of anger in his eye’s. “It won’t happen again, Sir.” Said one of them bowing to him. “Your right it won’t, because I want you four to return to Konoha. If you don’t I’ll leave the money right here now and leave.” The captain looked to Shizune who nodded to him. They collected the bandits on the ground and disappeared into the forest. Kal faced down the road again. “This is why I work alone.” he said darkly. Shizune eyed him apprehensively, he was completely different from the man she had talked with yesterday. This Kal was completely with out humor and completely ruthless. This was the Hunter side of Kal, focused on the mission and little else. Still while his attacks had been brutal, all but the first of the bandits were still alive. This was Kure-aka no Kal the top Hunter-nin in the business and this was why.

Kal walked over to Shizune and looked her over carefully. “You sure your alright? You haven’t said much.” and just like that kind Kal was back. She looked to the ground, mad at herself for not having been of much use in the battle. “Yes, I’m fine.” She said quietly. Kal looked worried for a moment then nodded. “Good, lets go then.” He looked up at the sky and saw the graying clouds. He then glanced at the surrounding forest to get a fix on his location. "It's going to storm, badly. There a Way house a quarter mile or so down the road and the owner is a friend of mine, we might want to stop for the night. Take the chance for a warm bed and good food. After we cross the border we'll find little of either, and it'll be slow going in the mountains."

Shizune nodded, knowing enough geography to know that the Rock Country was not a friendly environment of any sort. "Lead the way then, we might as well take the luxuries when we can" she said with a smile, having grown to trust Kal a bit more since their first meeting. Kal nodded and doubled his pace. They made good time and soon covered the distance. The small inn came into view. It didn't look like much but Kal knew there were good beds, good food, and it was fun by some of the nicest people Kal knew. Kal opened the door just as the sky started rumbling and stepped inside, holding the door for Shizune.

"Kure-aka no Kal (Kal of the Bloody Clay), I haven't seen you in a while." the old man behind the bar smiled warmly at Kal. "Welcome come on in, have a seat." The man patted the counter in front of him, meaning for Kal to sit at the bar. The man's eyes turned to Shizune. "And who is this Kal? Your Girlfriend?" Shizune blushed a bit at Kal's kindness, but bowed in thanks for it. However that blush was deepened greatly by the old man's words. "Oh no! I'm not his girlfriend!” she laughed nervously, "I'm merely a business companion for these travels!"

Kal laughed silently the old mans comment and Shizune's comment.” Come on Old Man, You know what I like to drink." the Man nodded and got out the bottle of gin and Setting it on the table. Kal Set down the pack with a heavy thumb and after sitting down poured himself a drink. "Come on, Shizune have a drink, I'm Buying." "I've actually never actually had foreign spirits before. Sure, I'll give it a try!" she said happily, taking a glass and pouring herself a small amount. She gulped down some of her nervousness and tossed some of the drink back. It burned on the way down, and caused her to grimace. "It takes some getting used to,” he said smiling as his face.” I have a deadened sense of taste so stuff needs to be strong for me to taste it." He Downed a Glasses himself to prove his point. He then poured them each another glass. This time he added some tonic water and lime to hers. "There it should be a little sweeter now and not so bitter." "Hey now, I'm no wimp! I'm just used to sake!" she said defiantly, taking a sip of the new concoction. It actually tasted pretty good, most of the burn being gone. She drank more, finishing the glass rather quickly.

Kal smiled and finished his Glass as well. "I didn’t say you where a wimp, I just think that you should enjoy it." He said pouring them bother another round. "It should be about the journey more than the end result." "Wise words from a man your age," Shizune smiled, assuming that she was probably older than the other Nin. Not that many people could tell, as youthful as she was. She took the other drink heartily, drinking it down in bolder gulps. "Careful, don't drink to fast, and I bet your not a day older then Me." he said sipping his drink. He actually didn't drink that much and three was normally his limit. He liked to keep a clear head. "Oh really? I'm 24, boy, how many years are you?" she said with a giggle, not even feeling buzzed. Drinking with Tsunade tends to build your tolerances. "25, 4 months and 8 days." he said sipping his drink and rolling his eyes. "I tend to not to eat a lot of really heathy stuff that most people wouldn't touch." "Well, you look awfully young for all that," Shizune laughed, finding herself staring at the man now. He was exceptionally handsome, now that she had a moment to notice it. She poured herself another drink, enjoying herself. Kal smiled his thanks and poured himself another drink. "Like I say I eat pretty healthy. I have a deadened sense of taste so I tend to eat just what I need rather than sweets and stuff." "Man, and I thought I was a health nut. Though I suppose that mainly stems from the nature of my profession more than anything," she said, taking another swig from her drink. "Tell my, Kal, with a face like that, you must get a lot of suitors. Any special someone waiting for you?"

Kal’s face darkened slightly, "No, I tend to avoid attachment. In my job and it tend to conflict and there are other things about me, I don't want people to get hurt because of me." he said sadly. "A shame, you have a soft look and a kind voice in spite of your profession," Shizune complemented, finishing the last of what had to be her sixth drink. She was feeling a bit light headed now; having began to reach her limits. She was surprised with her own level of tolerance, but supposed it just came with the job of being Lady Tsunade's drinking buddy, "Thank you, but what about yourself? Lovely lady such as yourself must have boys fawning all over you." He sipped his drink again. He could she was getting a little tipsy. "Actually I uh...I...I keep to myself for the most part..." she said with an embarrassed blush. She really did. She had a few men try and ask her out before, but she often was too nervous to accept anything.

"Really? That’s too bad." He took another slow sip. He looked at the Bartender, "Tosora, can you get us two glasses of water? No ice." the man nodded and quickly go the order. "Here," Said Kal handing her the water.” Drink this, I'll keep you from getting an hangover in the morning." Shizune smiled in thanks, slowly drinking the water down. It was cool and refreshing and felt great going down. She let out a satisfied sigh as she finished the glass. "I suppose a woman my age should be married by now..." "No one says you have too. You just haven't found Mister right yet." He patted her on the back lightly. "You will I'm sure of it." Most people didn't know, but all a hangover was dehydration. There was no water in alcohol and to people got dehydrated. Drink a glass of water after you've been drinking, no hangover.

"Says you, you're single by choice. I'm single by being an undateable loser..." she grumbled, feeling rather tipsy now. She had probably drunk more than she needed.
"Hey, your very attractive and any guy would be glad to have you." he said standing. Having only had 4 drinks he was still pretty sober.” Come on, you need a good nights rest." He said helping her to stand. "Attractive maybe, but I'm awkward and dorky...I take care of a stupid pig most of the time. THAT'S girlfriend material right there..." she said sarcastically, her speech slurring slightly.

"So you have personality. More then some girl's I've known." He said as he put and arm around her and helped her walk to the stairs. "Any guy would be lucky to have you." "You're just being nice,” she said softly, leaning against him for support. "No I'm Serious." He said as the reached the top of the stairs. She was having too much trouble walking that Kal picked her up and walker her to her room. "Your a sweet, beautiful girl, who has more brains then most, don't doubt yourself." he made it to her room and set her gently down on her bed then turned to leave. "Hey..." she said softly, blushing partly from the drunkenness, partly from how kindly he was treating her. "Don't leave just yet...I want to know...I want to know what those other things about you are, those things that keep you from having someone special..." Kal stopped and looked back at her, he was silhouetted by the light though the door, his face sad. "I'm a Jinchūriki." He said, and then left closing the door behind him.

[End chapter 1]
 
Not sure if I ought to comment in-thread like this, but I wanted to say that I really like it so far Chernobog (and the name! Have you read Neil Gaiman's American Gods? The Chernobog character in there is fantastic). Other useful hang-over tip: buy a bottle of water from the bartender and ask her to make it look like vodka, so you look like you're getting smashed. Keep buying alcohol for the young lady accompanying you.
 
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