Daddy why is mommy...

[Foxy Lady]

It's so she doesn't have to stop cooking when he comes.

Daddy, why does Mommy want to borrow my tennis skirt?

 

[CougarGirl]

Because she wants to knock some balls around, dear.

Daddy, why is Mommy buying so many batteries?

 

[Deiranoth]

Because the tv remote in the bedroom keeps using up the batteries, honey.

Daddy, why does Mommy keep taking carrots into the bedroom?

 

[CougarGirl]

To help her see better in the dark, dear.

Daddy, why does Mommy go through your emails when you're asleep?

 

[sirix]

She is looking for my bank account info.

Daddy, why does mommy say this house is "sex positive? "

 

[Melethron]

Six, positive honey. We're having sextuplets.

Daddy, why did Mommy only give the clerk three cucumbers when she picked out four?

 

[AnnaBeth]

I don't know, but she better not put it in the salad.

Daddy, why does mommy drink so much grape juice from that cardboard box?

 

[CougarGirl]

It saves on the washing up.

Daddy, why is Mommy kneeling in front of the plumber?

 

[AnnaBeth]

Because Daddy's paycheck was short.

Daddy, why do Mommy's panties all say Daddy's Babygirl on them?

 

[CougarGirl]

Because we're hoping to give you a baby sister.

Daddy, why does Mommy keeping putting her hands into the pockets of your pants?

 

[Melethron]

She's looking for loose change dear.

Daddy, why does Mommy have such loud sleepovers with her girlfriends?

 

[CougarGirl]

To drown out the noise of daddy snoring.

Daddy, why does Mommy tell you to go commando when you're not in the Marines?

 

[awaywardsoul]

Because Mommy likes to keep Daddy's gun clean.

Daddy, why does Mommy have gym trainers at the house but her workout clothes are never dirty?

 

[AnnaBeth]

Mommy Magic.

Daddy, how come Mommy says you're like Santa Claus and only come once a year? I see you every day when you get home from work.

 

[awaywardsoul]

I never come because by the time Mommy gets home I am already here.

Daddy, If Santa doesn't visit adults then how come Mommy has so many toys?

 

[AnnaBeth]

She's a good girl and good girls get lots of gifts.

Daddy, who does Mommy walk funny after y'all wrestle in bed?

 

[awaywardsoul]

She always gets pinned by Daddy.

Daddy, why does Mommy talk to her girlfriends about being blacked when her skin is clearly pale?

 

[Whispered Secret]

She has a tendency to end up in dark places...

Daddy, why does it take Mommy such a long time to help the mailman find our packages in the back of his truck?

 

[AnnaBeth]

Because she likes to handle his package.

Daddy, why does mommy call you Sir all the time?

 

[Whispered Secret]

Because I make sure she regrets it when she forgets.

Daddy, why is mommy jumping every time you push that little button on the remote in your hand?

 

[sirix]

You will learn when you turn 18 dear.

Daddy, why do you call mommy Mistress all the time?

 

[Melethron]

She likes it when daddy calls her by her first name.

Daddy, why does mommy keep so much rope in her closet?

 

[AnnaBeth]

She makes really big dream catcher's sometimes.

Daddy, why does Mommy call Uncle Jim Daddy when you're not here?

 

[Whispered Secret]

She is nearsighted and forgets her glasses.

Daddy, why does Mommy have words and arrows drawn on her with black and red marker?

 

[KittenTrap]

Cocaine is one hell of a drug.

Daddy, why is mommy dressed up as a knight and screaming "For the Nine!" as she runs at the dog with a sword and shield?