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The Sword and The Rose. ((Kolath x Butterfly))

After a proper bath to wash the forest grim from her skin more thoroughly, Anya helped her to dress in one of her fine gowns and to go her hair up in a lovely, elegant hairstyle. Looking at herself in the mirror, she had not seen herself look this way in so long. It was strange. She had been this girl all her life, but it just did not feel like HER anymore. Still, it didn't matter how she felt.

Arnold arrived right on time to retrieve her for dinner with the duke. Bottom whimpered, wanting to come, but she asked Anya to make she he stayed put.

Leading her through the halls, she realized she had no knowledge of the place at all. She would get lost if she even attempted to find ANYTHING here. Her quarters would be her only space for some time, until she found herself more comfortable with the place. She was expecting to be led to the dining hall to eat with the Duke. So when Arnold opened the door and bid her enter.... finding herself in a sitting room much like her own, she was shocked to realize was within the Duke's own personal quarters. She blushed and didn't know what to say. It was... sort of scandalous...
 
Nathan stood as she entered and the door was closed behind her. they were alone not even a servant. He smiled coming over and kissing her hand. â??Please come my dear lady Terra, have a seat.â? He pulled a chair out for her. the food was already laid out on the table and his chair was next to hers rather then across. â??I thought tonight we should eat alone sinceâ?¦there are some delicate questions that I will need to ask you.â?
 
This was... beyond scandalous now. She didn't even think her own parents, with their four children, had ever shared a meal in private, sitting NEXT to one another. It was just something that was never done in the nobility. She took her seat, but didn't know what to say. If this was how he wanted it, who was she to say otherwise? She was just a woman, not even his wife yet.

"I assumed as much, your grace," she commented in regards to him letting her know he would have to ask her questions, "I anticipated you would have questions for me. I await them and shall give you the answers you seek from me."
 
He nodded and sat next to her even though it was a little way away it still was closer then even a husband and wife normally sat. â??Thank you for that but you need to know that no matter what I seek the truth of what has happened. It pained me to take as long as it did to gather your ransom money first I ask your forgiveness for that. And then second would you prefer to eat first? Or shall I ask my questions first?â?
 
She wanted to ask more about why it DID take so long, but after what she did to him, there was no good reason to go and question him. It was she that needed to be asking for forgiveness of him, not the other way around. "An apology is not necessary you grace. I am sure that you had good reason to delay the exchange as long as it was. If you feel it necessary, I forgive you of course. What is it you wish to know, your grace?" she figured it better to just get it over with. Without it, she was sure they would just sit in silence while they ate.

Then again, they may just sit in silence either way...
 
He nodded knowing that right now was not the time to ask questions that were no ones that were important. â??How was your treatment at the hands of those brigands?â? he knew the answer, like he would know the answer to most of the questions. â??Were you and your lady in waiting mistreated?â?
 
She did not hesitate to shake her head, "No, we were not mistreated. The Black Fox and his people treated us very kindly. Even when Anya insulted them, they never did anything harsh to her. You see, Anya, my hand maiden, and I switched places long before we were ever captured. It was my father's idea when he realized we would have to travel through the bandit woods. We had hoped that if captured, we could convince them to send myself under the disguise of a servant to you as a sign of good will. Without the true noblewoman, they would loose their only bargaining tool." She shook her head lightly, "That is not how things unfolded however. So no... we were NEVER mistreated."
 
He nodded smiling. â??Then I suppose there is no reason for my other questions.â? He nodded slightly turning to the table. â??If they didnâ??t mistreat you then there is no chance that they would have harmed your virtue.â? He nodded slowly reaching for a glass. â??I guess they are right about the Black Fox after all, he is a man of honor.â?
 
"Indeed..." she started, as if she was going to let him think that. It would be how any noblewoman would reply. "That's because I gave him my virtue. Willingly." She was not like other noblewoman. "I'm sorry, your grace, but I do not come to you still a virgin. Do not believe that it was taken from my by force however. I cannot, nor I will not lie about what happened while I was captive of the Black Fox. I'm sorry." She was very serious during her whole explanation to him, her face at first trying to start held high, but she had let it lower to look down and away from him. Was that shame in her eyes? "I understand that this action I have taken has voided the contract of marriage between us and I understand if you do not wish to honor it any longer."
 
As she just seemed to confirm what he had said Nathan started to take a drink of the wine in his glass. The last thing that he had expected was what happened. Mid drink he had to drop the glass on the table barely setting ti down right coughing and barely keeping from spit out the wine he had in his mouth. Finally he was able to gain control of his coughing. â??What did you say?â? he had expected her to say it with sorrow or not to tell him at all make up some story as to why she wasnâ??t a virgin. But her coming right out and telling him had never even crossed his mind. That was something that took courage and conviction, it made the love he held for her swell even more. â??Let us not get ahead of ourselves my dear. Tell meâ?¦you went willingly, do you love this Black Fox?â?
 
She was quiet for a few moments before, eyes still cast down and away from him, she confessed with a nod of her head and replied in almost just a whisper, "Yes..... I do love him. I'm sorry your grace. I did not expect it to happen. I just did. I can't change the way my heart feels about him. The only consolation I can give you is the confidence that he will not intrude upon our marriage." She was being surprisingly strong about speaking with him. Even she was impressing herself. Oh sure, she'd be in tears later on, but for now she was being strong.
 
â??I wouldnâ??t ask you to change how your heart feels about himâ?¦love is a hard thing to come by in this world. Even more so if you are unlucky enough to be born into a noble family.â? He reached over and lightly patted her hand, â??Why are you so sure that he will not intrude on our marriage? You could be carrying his child even now.â? He knew she wasnâ??t knowing enough to know that wasnâ??t possible considering when he had stopped.
 
She lightly shook her head, "My courses have come since then. I know very little about the ways between a man and a woman, your grace, but I do know that my courses would not have come if I indeed carried his child." That didn't mean she had not worried about it. The few days after the night, in fact up until just the night before, she had feared she could carry his child. What would she do then? She didn't know it was impossible to have been with child.

"I feel that he will not intrude due to the way we parted. He did not know who I was before we slept together. When I told him, he turned from me swiftly. I do believe that he quite disapproves of my lying therefore disapproves of me. He left after the night we spent together and did not return. Not even to say good-bye himself. Just a note." And even though the note had spoken of his love, she did not see how he could mean it after she had hurt him so. For the first time, she felt herself fighting back tears. She hated to think the Fox held hate for her now.
 
He sighed and nodded slowly. He was trying to stay the duke that seemed to just be worried about his future bride. Finally he just broke a little and moved and little closer to her gently lifting her chin to look into her eyes. His thumbs brushed away her tears and he lightly smiled. â??Terra, you are so beautiful, and I am happy that you at least found love for a short time in this life. But the way it sounds is as if the Fox would not take you back, and I know your father well enough to know he wouldnâ??t when he finds out that you are no longer a virgin. Will you allow me to offer you a home here as my wife, not because of any agreement but because I would be honored to have you as my wife virgin or not. I know you may never love me and I donâ??t pretend to hope to take the Foxâ??s place in your heart. But if you say yes could you have room for happiness here as my wife?â?
 
With her face down, she was not seeing his reaction, oh but she could just picture it. A proper thanks for coming but get out of my house you whore was what she anticipated. Perhaps part of her hoped for it because she could go and beg the Fox to take her back. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. To her surprise though, he didn't dismiss her right away as she had expected. He was even kind and gentle about it. Lifting her chin tenderly and telling her that he was not only marry her still, but could accept that she was in love with another man as well. It was.... shocking to say the least. "You...... you mean that? You would take me in like that? Even after all I have just told you?" She felt like a stray dog for a moment, looking for someone to take it in from a life out in the cold. "You are not like any other nobleman I have ever met before."
 
He nodded still smiling his hand lightly slipping from her cheek and down to her hand again smiling still. â??I know what it is to be in love with someone that you can never have. And what it is to have made a mistake. I will never judge you for following you where your heart took you.â? He laughed lightly leaning back as she made the comment about not being like other noblemen, â??That is probably the highest compliment you could have given me lady Terra. I will gladly still take you as my wife and no one ever needs to know anything about this if you donâ??t want them too. I realize it is a lot to ask so quickly, I donâ??t expect a quick answer, shall we have something to eat in the mean time?â?
 
He had been in love? That made her pale. She wanted to ask more about it, but dare not. If he pained as much inside as she over lost love, she did not want to cause him that pain. But she could not help but wonder... was SHE the mistake he spoke of? Was she and the marriage contract they had the mistake that kept him from his own love? She felt sick over the thought. How could he be truly happy with her if she was the reason he was not able to have the love he wanted. It never crossed her mind that he could ever feel the same way about her. She could only nod when he suggested they eat something while thinking over the choice they had before them, and meekly just gave him a, "Yes. Lets." She began to pick at the food before your, though her appetite had sorely suffered from their conversation.
 
Nathan was feeling pretty good about himself right now though he was still pained that he was having to mislead her. nothing he had said was a lie really since it was all true but it wasnâ??t the whole truth since she was the one he loved and thought he could never have, and the mistake was the night he had taken her virginity. He only could hope right now that she would forgive him. he poured her dome wine and then himself some more. He was eating though in a very refined manner compared to most nobles. He noticed her lack of appetite and cocking his head to one side, â??What troubles you lady Terra? Please donâ??t ever be afraid to speak your mind to me, I wish my closest advisers and friends to be able to say anything to me. â??
 
"It's nothing," she said with a weak smile. Well, one would not find it a sad attempt at a smile, unless they knew what one of Terra's real smiles looked like. He knew. She just didn't know that. "I'm just thinking is all. I forget sometimes what I am doing while I am thinking. Distracted. That's all." She tried to force herself then to eat at a more normal pace to not seem so distant. It was hard to feel in the moment when her heart was so far away and he head was spinning through space.
 
He could tell that she was trying to hide what ti was that was upsetting her and he shook his head slowly reaching over and placing his hand on hers that was holding her fork. â??That was a poor ruse lady Terra, I can see in your eyes that you are a million miles away please tell me I want to hear your inner most thoughts.â?
 
This was starting to get strange. How was it that the Duke could make her feel comfortable AND uncomfortable at the same time. His openness to her problems and her feelings was welcome. It was so much like the Fox had been welcoming to her. But the fact that she hardly knew the man... she shook her head and withdrew her hand from his touch, "Forgive me, your grace, but I do not even share my inner most thoughts with my closest friend, my handmaiden Anya. I do not even know you a full day..." And yet she was able to tell things to the Fox. But that was different of course. There was love there. "I would not expect you to share with me private matters of yours. I ask your permission for the same when it comes to mine." This was after all just meant to be an arranged marriage of convenience.
 
He withdrew his hand and nodded, â??As you wish lady Anya. Thank you for your candor.â? He returned to eating a little put off by how cold she was to him but he also knew that he couldnâ??t have the same relationship that he had with her as the Fox, not as the Duke. He sighed a little and continued to eat in silence not saying anything more unless she brought something up. At the end of the meal he would turn to her standing and offering her his arm. â??If you would like I would be glad to see you back to your room my lady since I guess you would like more time to think still.â?
 
It didn't take a fool to know she had hurt him. Could she not do anything right? Not with the Fox. Not with the Duke. Not with ANYONE about ANYTHING. The awkward silence of the rest of dinner felt like it was trying to chock her but she survived it. Rising she did take his offered arm, "I do not know my way here your grace so it would be nice if you can show me the way back to my room. However... I do not need to think. If you still wish to marry me, really wish to marry me, then I will accept. However," she could not shake the thoughts of this unknown woman he loved, "if you wish to marry this woman you love your grace... do not let this lady's love pass you by. I will understand. The contract IS void. There is no obligation to marry me left."
 
He blinked as she said that he could marry the other woman and he had to think fast because he could see the problem he was making for himself. He stopped as he had just started for the door turning around to look back into her eyes. â??Lady Terra, I cannot marry her she loves another more than me. I would never take away that love from her or take the chance of hurting her love. â?? he gently took her hand an lifted it to his lips kissing the back of it lightly. â??I am glad lady Terra, I do still wish to marry you because of the strength I see in you. Just over this night you have earned my respect that is rare for a noblewoman to gain my respect.â? He turned again opening the door, taking her arm again lightly. â??Perhaps you will join me for a walk in the garden tomorrow so we can get to know each other better?â?
 
What a pair the two of them were turning out to be. Two people in love with others whom they could never have. And so they ended up thrown together by some twist of fate they kept them from their true loves. A perfect, unhappy pair indeed.

"That would be lovely," she commented back as she walked alongside him. "May I ask, your grace, that perhaps you can show me about the grounds? I already find myself terribly lost in your home. I don't want to end up wandering to places I should not be." She was judging there marriage off of the ones she had seen in the past. Women not allowed places there husbands did not want them and such.
 
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