Patreon LogoYour support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)

A Questionable Excuse

Status
Not open for further replies.
Sure Connor was a bit upset; someone had just beaten the boy whom he liked to this state and come to his house at midnight to have himself taken care of. He was even empathetic about how Julian must have felt about this whole situation. He must have been humiliated. However, unlike him mother, who appeared to suddenly be on the verge of tears, he was completely out of the loop. For all he knew, Julian had been beat up by some kids from school. He had no idea that the other boy was going through what he was. And little did he know, but his mother wasn’t going to give him an inkling of the truth. That wasn’t her place. Connor was about to say something, when suddenly his mom spoke up, sounding more tired than she had in years. “Finish that first,” she gestured towards the cup of cocoa.

The red-haired boy was going to argue, as he hadn’t looked past Julian’s bruises to see how thin he was. Anyway, boys could be thin without it being a big deal. Any sort of deeper problem had never even crossed his mind. Boys couldn’t have that sort of problem anyway… especially not someone as amazing as Julian. What stopped him from arguing with her was how genuinely upset she looked. On the verge of tears was an understatement. He let go of Julian’s hand and crossed his arms. “Could I please spend some time alone with my friend?” He asked, pretending to be annoyed. Really, he just wanted her to go to bed, for her sake. “We’ll be okay by ourselves.”

Once she’d left, with little more than a nod of the head, Connor turned back towards Julian. He sat on the couch, just out of the other’s reach, and shrugged. “Well, you heard her. If I don’t wait till you finish, she’ll have a fit.” He smirked and rolled his eyes.
 
Julian would tell Connor. In due time. He wasn't withholding anything back because he wanted to. Well, actually he did want to. He didn't want Connor knowing how weak he was. How desperate for love. He didn't want Connor thinking that what they'd shared only earlier that day meant nothing to him. He was willing to throw it all away to go to a boyfriend that beat him. The boy swallowed and looked to the cocoa. He didn't want to. He couldn't even think about food, hurting this badly. And the rich cocoa would not help him. He thought if he had to finish it he might puke.

But when Connor gestured for him to do it, he gingerly took a sip. "I don't know if I can..." He answered, pressing his tongue against the inside of his lower lip. Damn. It hurt. And now he was alone here with Connor. He felt like he might break down right then and there. But he couldn't. He took another sip, then set the mug down. There was only about a fourth of it full. "I'll finish it before bed?" He answered gingerly, looking over to the red haired boy. He was so pretty. Handsome. Why couldn't Julian be like him? And what had he done to waste this other boy's time?
 
“Dammit, I’m sorry” Connor muttered apologetically, “I really don’t know what she was thinking.” He took the mug and shook his head. “You don’t have to drink the rest. It must hurt with your lip like that.” Of course he couldn’t imagine why his mother wouldn’t know that. He looked down at the carpet; the thick white material that was probably softer than his own bed. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

He stood up and tried to help the other boy up, providing a shoulder to lean on in case he were to need it. He took Julian by the hand, leading him to the bathroom. It was the whitest room in the house, but also the most down the earth. It really just looked like any other freakishly clean bathroom. Connor couldn’t help but wonder how the other would do this. Any warm water in those cuts would probably hurt like hell. And he couldn’t help but think that cold water would sting just as badly. He turned on the warm water and got a clean towel from the closet. “Do you… need any help?” His face turned red to his ears and he looked down.
 
"It's okay..." Julian offered a sincere smile to Connor. It was the most he could give at the moment. Later maybe he'd try and make it up to the boy in another way, but now just sweetness would be fitting. He could probably never adequately pay Connor back for any of this. He'd always feel like he had gotten the better side of the bargain. Julian was the one that barged into Connor's life and overthrew everything. "It's really fine." He answered softly as the other helped him up.

He kept a wince inside, not wanting Connor to see it. When they got into the bathroom though, he cringed at the sound of the water. Only now was he regretting his decision to ask for a shower. Imagining that water on him just made him freeze up. It would hurt. "I-Honestly, yes." He answered softly, trying to keep the red from coming to his cheeks. "I mean... Realistically, yes. But I also don't want you to see me like... Well this." He answered softly, biting his bottom lip. "But I can't do it by myself."
 
Connor tried his best to act nonchalant about this whole seeing Julian naked thing. He couldn’t honestly say that the idea of the other boy without clothing wasn’t just a bit exciting, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing. Maybe they could work with underclothing on. It was like a bathing suit, right? And there was nothing wrong with seeing someone in a bathing suit. The tank top would have to come off though. There was no way that Connor could see to helping Julian with a barrier that was that complete.

“It’s no big deal,” he promised. “I won’t peek or try anything with you. You know that, right?” He stepped closer to the other and touched the bottom of his top hesitantly, making sure that he had permission before removing the thin layer of clothing. But when he did… god. He now saw how thin the other’s arms were in proportion to his body, how his hipbones stuck out painfully, how he could count a few ribs; not all of them, but a few. He stepped away. Suddenly, he was cold and his skin seemed to be tingling. “How…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. He was too busy trying to hide his thinly veiled alarm.
 
Julian honestly didn't mind Connor seeing him naked. It wasn't that big of a deal to him. It was just his body. And ironically he cared little about it. But he also cared too much. He shifted where he stood, biting his bottom lip when he looked up to the other. His lip wasn't bleeding now at least. Julian frowned when he saw that reaction.

What was he supposed to take from that? It wasn't disgust that Connor looked at him with, but Julian couldn't decipher it. He glanced away, feeling almost ashamed. Should he? Did Connor think he was ugly now? Disgusting? He'd never really gotten anyone's input but Dylan's. So he had no idea what to expect. "What...?" He replied softly, looking back up to Connor.
 
“It’s just…” Connor thought carefully about his answer. He shifted where he was standing and looked down at the floor. He moved again, as if deciding against that, and looked at the other boy’s eyes. There. That was better. Julian had the most beautiful eyes. He focused on those eyes while he spoke.

“You’re... you look…” He paused and shook his head. He cleared his thoughts and focused again, letting his eyes run down Julian’s body and back to his face. He really was beautiful, and he didn’t want him to feel like anything less than that. In his mind’s eye, he thought back to the day when they had hung out for the first time and he remembered Julian calling himself ugly. He’d been so upset about it… Something clicked then. This wasn’t right. “You look hungry,” he said quietly, avoiding accusation. “Have you eaten at all today?”
 
If there was anything Julian wouldn't budge on, it was this. He wouldn't let anyone make him feel any positive way about himself. It was in his nature. And Dylan had help mold him to be that way. He knew that he had to be thin. He tried to maintain a more girlish figure, because he knew that Dylan liked that. Dylan, who denied that he would ever be with a boy. Dylan, his boyfriend that had laid these nasty bruises down on his skin.

But another part of Julian liked the bruises. They reminded him to stay accountable. They reminded him that he had a problem with self control and with himself. At least they did him that service. Now, they were reminding him that he was disgusting, and that he really shouldn't have asked Connor for help. He didn't know what Connor was going to say, but he looked upset. And it didn't go through Julian's mind that he might be upset because of the state of his body. "I look what...?" He avoided the question for a moment, then looked back up to Connor. "I have. And your mom just made me that cocoa." Cocoa his stomach couldn't even handle.
 
Maybe Julian was just naturally thin. For a few moments, Connor let himself believe the excuses that everyone probably told themselves. He has a fast metabolism. He just isn’t a hungry person. Boys are allowed to be thin; it’s normal. No teenage boy would look that that intentionally. And for a few seconds, he believed his own lies. But… his instincts tore him away from the lies. The fact that his mother was a doctor gave him the years of medical knowledge to know that Julian wasn’t simply
skinny. He was dangerously underweight.

“Cocoa that you didn’t even finish,” Connor argued defensively. He wasn’t imagining this. Now that he had said it, he couldn’t back down. “I think that it’ll be cooled down by the time we’re done,” he looked into those beautiful green eyes again. “You’ll finish it, right? I’ll make myself some, and we can just talk.” He took a breath. Despite the situation that he found himself in, he couldn’t hide the blatant want in his gaze. He’d never wanted anyone more in his life.
 
Julian just watched Connor. He could see the inner conflict there. What his friend was going through was not imaginable by Julian. He didn't know what the conflict could possibly be. Though he knew it was probably about him. Surprisingly Connor didn't leave. He didn't step out of the bathroom because he was disgusted or anything like that. Instead he stayed. He looked genuinely concerned too. Julian imagined it was just because of the bruises.

He was a little surprised with the tone that the other boy took towards him regarding the cocoa. Damn. There was no way of getting out of this one. He just hoped that his stomach could handle the rest of it. Honestly he wasn't hungry because of the pain too. And his own dislike of fatty and sugary foods only added to that. "Okay..." He could only look at Connor for a second before he had to look away. He glanced to the shower, before back to the other boy. "I'll finish it. For you." He gave him a little smile, then took a step towards the shower. The boy took a moment and grabbed the other's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. He even leaned in and gave Connor a soft kiss to the cheek, a little closer to his lips than a normal affectionate kiss between friends would be. "Thank you..."
 
At the kiss, Connor smiled, color rising to his cheeks. Dammit, it was so obvious what he was feeling that it was ridiculous. At least it was obvious to him. He didn’t know what Julian was thinking. Despite his embarrassment, and perhaps adding to it, he reached up and touched where the other boy had kissed him. Instead of wiping it off, as he could have done with the same gesture from others, he held his hand to his cheek as if saving some sort of precious gift. Something was almost painful about this. It was so hard to believe that the two had been sharing dinner only hours ago.

“I can turn on the bath instead,” He said softly, moving aside to sit on the ledge of the tub. “It won’t hurt as much and I can help easier if you need it.” He thought for less than a second, then, without waiting for an answer, began filling the bathtub. He measured the water temperature by touch with incredible accuracy. Yet he was sure to double and triple check to make sure that it wouldn’t be too hot for the other boy. If Julian did answer his question, he wouldn’t have heard it. He was far too focused on this; something that really was small. But to him, it was the most important thing at the moment. “Hey,” he snapped out of his thought after a minute, “When’s the last time you saw your parents?”
 
Julian smiled sweetly at the boy before him, biting his bottom lip as if he had been nervous about doing this. But really he had been. He'd been very, very nervous. Applying affection like that was something that he hadn't received great reactions from in the past. The boy watched silently as Connor held the kiss to his cheek. It was such a sweet action. One that he really enjoyed seeing. Damn Connor was cute. Adorable even. He couldn't handle thinking it. It was just something natural to him. He felt guilty for it, even. Giving anyone affection was foreign to him, but he felt built for it. He rarely even gave any affection to his parents.

"A bath would be good." He answered, watching Connor turn on the bath water. He wondered if the other knew how much Julian appreciated him. Every part of him. The simple way he did things was sweet and caring. Something Julian was not used to. It was not a thing that he disliked though. The question caught him off guard. "I-" His eyes widened a little, then narrowed. "A week maybe." He shrugged, obviously not caring much about it. "We don't get along." Suddenly Julian was very cold, in a way that he'd never really showed anyone before.
 
He tried not to be upset. He really did. But he’d asked that question for a reason and now he had his answer. So why did he regret asking so much? He bit his lip and looked down to the tile. Julian had lied to him earlier. He’d said he was leaving for a family emergency. But he hadn’t seen his parents in a week. He’d lied. That shouldn’t have affected Connor as much as it did. Yet… he wondered what was wrong with him. Why did the other want to leave so quickly before? Was he really that awkward? Self-doubt was an all too easy cycle to get caught up in. So he ended it. This wasn’t about him. It was about Julian. If the smaller boy had lied, it was probably for a good reason. He didn’t bring it up again.

“I’m sorry,” he said instead. He stood up and moved towards Julian. He was actually rather surprised to find that he was significantly taller. Julian’s head only reached his nose. It was kind of cute though. He touched the other’s shoulder lightly. “You know it’s their loss, right? They’re definitely missing out on something really great.”
 
Julian didn't know why Connor had asked that question. Honestly he'd forgotten that he'd lied earlier. It meant nothing to him, lying like that. It wasn't anything against Connor, really. It was just regarding his own situation. Something he was ashamed about and didn't want this kind, sweet boy from school to know about. That Julian repetitively returned to his abusive boyfriend. Sure, he'd tell Connor eventually. But he couldn't tell him now.

"It's okay..." He murmured, looking up at the other male. He already felt terribly vulnerable and having another person so close to him. It was overwhelming. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms lightly around the other. He didn't want to press too hard because of his bruises, but he wanted to be close to someone. Something that he knew wasn't going to hurt him. "I'm sorry..." He choked out, pushing his head into the other's neck. He didn't want Connor looking at him. "I'm so sorry... I got you caught up in this mess. I just... I don't know. You're so sweet and..." His fingers pressed a little deeper into Connor's skin. "I'm pathetic..." He pulled away, but kept his arms around Connor, offering a little smile. "I'm sorry..." He wiped away any tears that might have welled up with one hand, shaking his head.
 
“Hey, it’s okay,” Connor whispered reassuringly. When the other had hugged him, he’d placed his hand on the small of his back. Now it was a bit further up on Julian’s back. It took everything in his power not to pull him closer and kiss him. That would have been so easy. He was vulnerable and available and now he was half naked. Wanting someone he couldn’t have was definitely the worst thing the older (though only by half a year) boy had ever felt.

“You’re not pathetic at all.” His free hand met the other one and he bit his bottom lip, staring at the other boy’s lips for well over a moment. He would hold Julian for as long as he couldn’t, not letting go until Julian did. That’s how it was supposed to be. Maybe the other boy didn’t see it, but they belonged together. Connor was intent on this. If he told himself that it was untrue, it hurt too much. "You're perfect."
 
Julian could feel that attraction too. It was something he couldn't deny. Which was probably why he had put himself in Connor's arms in the first place. He had felt it and knew that he might find comfort there. And really, the boy did. He licked his bottom lip and looked up at Connor finally, his eyes meeting the taller male's. "I-I'm not...?" He asked, and looked over Connor's face. Such a nice face... It had always been free of worry when he'd seen it. But now there was worry there. Was that because of him? He swallowed and turned his head away, closing his eyes.

He did something foolish then, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to the older male's lips. Hearing those words was enough to set him off. They were something that he'd never heard before. Dylan didn't think he was perfect. Probably because he wasn't... He pulled away after keeping the kiss there for a few seconds. "Nh... Sorry." He rose his uninjured hand to run it over Connor's chest lightly.
 
“Don’t be.” Connor pulled Julian close to him, holding him as if he were made of glass. No, not glass; something more fragile than glass could ever be. Yet, despite his gentle behavior, he wasn’t hesitant in the least. He was actually rather confident for the boy who Julian had kissed earlier. He wasn’t possessive either, not as Dylan often was. He would never claim Julian for his own without more permission then necessary. His mother and father had always taught him to treat the women in his life with respect. And so when he discovered he liked boys as well, he had extended that courtesy.

After a moment of holding the smaller boy in his arms, Connor tilted his head to the side and kissed Julian. This kiss lasted long over a few seconds. His right hand moved up the other’s side and he was careful to avoid the bruises that decorated his skin. When his hand reached Julian’s soft, beautiful face, he cupped the other’s cheek and moved his tongue past those incredibly beautiful, slightly parted lips. For the first time, he was hesitant. He could taste the cocoa and it occurred to him that this way was a much better way of tasting anything.
 
Julian had never been one to give himself an amount of self respect. He had always sought it from other people. And sometimes people didn't deliver. That was okay. He figured that it didn't happen because he didn't quite deserve it. It made complete sense to him, with the attitude he had towards himself. So the way that Connor held him really threw him off guard. In fact, he was a little bothered by it at first. But when he was pulled into that kiss everything seemed to begin to click. This felt nice. Good even.

And when the kiss only deepened, Julian pressed himself forward. He didn't care about the bruises. Dylan had handled him with those before and he'd learned to tolerate the pain. Sometimes it even turned him on. So being in the arms of someone so gentle... Well it registered with a deeper part of Julian's brain. A less animalistic, more emotional part. Something that he'd had to hide away for so long. So his thin fingers pressed into that chest, while his other hand went up to play over Connor's collar bone. Words were completely lost to him now, but he pulled away after a second, placing a sweet little kiss on Connor's lower lip. "I should take that bath..."
 
As Julian moved away, Connors face turned the color of too-ripe strawberries. This was happening so much today that he was starting to think that it was his normal skin tone. And perhaps it was. After all, what was so abnormal about being as happy as he was at the moment? “Ah, yea… that’s probably a good idea.” Mind if I join? He grinned and looked down to his bare feet. They’d always been too-large, and now, realizing that Julian was right here, he curled his toes in; as if that was a way of magically shrinking feet. “Well,” he turned off the water and gestured grandly before him, “The bathtub awaits.”

He took his place on the edge of the tub and ran his fingers through the water, looking somewhat like an overgrown child. It didn’t help his case much when he decided that it would be a good idea to hum. Of course, he quickly sobered, realizing that acting like this didn’t make him look particularly sexy. “I hope the water’s not too cold or hot. I mean, I didn’t want to burn you or anything.”
 
Julian thought that the blushing was adorable. He leaned in to kiss Connor's blushing cheeks before he moved towards the bathtub stepping into it gingerly. The water was perfect. But as he lowered himself in he realized that as it touched his bruises it burnt. A bath had been a much better idea than a shower. He couldn't imagine the sensations that he would have felt had that been the case. Honestly the boy wouldn't have minded if Connor did decide to join. It would be welcome. He paid no attention to the other's feet. Surprisingly, Julian wasn't shallow at all. Even if he was, Connor was amazingly attractive. Ironic, with his judgement of himself.

As he finally settled into the tub he grabbed onto the edge of the tub and gently leaned forward to deliver a soft kiss to Connor's lips. "It's perfect..." He murmured as he ran a hand over one particularly terrible bruise. He moved his uninjured hand forward and used it to brush his fingers over Connor's, smiling over to the other boy.
 
The quickening of his heartbeat, the way that he blushed for silly things, and pointed out his tiniest flaws, the way that he wanted to just stare at Julian’s lips and eyes all day. If Connor had more concrete evidence that the other had experienced the same things as he was currently feeling, he would have been over the moon with joy. He would have certainly made another move and gone just a bit further. However, he did nothing more than kiss Julian back and make comments about the time.

“You know, it’s one in the morning,” he’d said at one in the morning. At one o’five, he looked at one of Julian’s more disturbing bruises; one that was just below his ribcage and in the shape of a fist. “We should skip school tomorrow... I mean today,” he suggested, though this was already assumed by him. He took Julian by the hand and drew an O on the other’s palm with his thumb. “After you’re done with whatever my mom wants from you, we can come back here and do whatever you want.”
 
Julian hadn't felt giddy for a long time. He'd had no reason to. Dylan was upfront with him, leaving little to be desired. But this... It almost made him nervous how giddy and wonderful he felt. A small smile curled up on his lips as he looked up to Connor every few seconds. He went about running the water over himself with a washcloth. And when Connor spoke he listened. "That sounds like a good idea..." He nodded and continued to run the washcloth over himself. When he was finished he looked to Connor.

"I'd like to come back and watch movies..." He managed a smile and leaned forward again, pressing another gentle kiss to those soft lips. "Mn. Could you wash my back?" He turned around, offering the washcloth out to Connor.
 
If there was a word for the feeling of happiness that one felt when seeing someone who they really, really liked, it wouldn’t have sufficed in explaining Connor’s feelings towards Julian. He absolutely adored him… and that was an understatement. If it had been up to the taller boy, he would have simply watched him take a bath all day. There was something cute about it. And he had to admit to himself that there was something awfully sexy about seeing Julian undressed.

He took the washcloth after a moment’s hesitation and began slowly, carefully rubbing Julian’s back. He was more cautious then he’d thought possible. The other boy’s back wasn’t as bad as his sides, but it was worse than his front, and for a minute, he found himself thinking about how this had happened. However, he was quickly snapped out of his thoughts as he rubbed a bruise particularly hard. Connor quickly pulled his hand back and leaned forwards just a bit. “Sorry,” he muttered, his lips brushing against the bruise he’d just aggravated, his way of saying that he was sorry again.
 
Julian would have thought that Connor was silly. He didn't think that he was cute at all. And definitely not sexy. He felt clumsy, and the boy couldn't even see the way he did his own graceful things. He sat quietly and let the other boy take the washcloth, not sure if he actually wanted to. Well, it seemed like he wanted to be there right? He wasn't being hassled into this. Or maybe he was. Maybe Julian was pushing this. He shouldn't have come here. Another train of desperate, terrible thoughts.

But he pushed them away when he felt that bruise aggravated. He stayed quiet, not wanting Connor to know he had aggitated it. But it seemed the other boy had noticed. Well. That was something new. Dylan never did. In fact, he'd put bruises on top of bruises and not even notice that either of them were there. So when he felt that kiss to the back of his neck, the boy tilted his head to the side. It was an encouraging gesture almost. He didn't mind it. It felt nice. "It's alright..." He murmured, obviously pleased by the sensation. The kisses to the lips were nice. But that... Damn. That was beyond pleasant.
 
Connor couldn’t help but smile at the reaction, and continue what he was doing. He pressed his lips to the skin around Julian’s wounds, immediately following his lips with the washcloth. When he came across bruised, he would kiss them so lightly that it was as if he wasn’t there at all. These bruises, for now, they were part of the other boy. Perhaps they always would be. He didn’t know whether or not the almost-black ones would leave scars, as they often did, and he didn’t care. They didn’t make Julian’s skin any more beautiful, but they didn’t subtract from the beauty either.

He continued this for as long as he could stand. Trailing up and down Julian’s back, never going past the bottom of his ribcage. That would be far too intrusive on the other’s boundaries… for all he knew at least. “God…” He kissed the back of the other’s neck, right underneath his ear. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.” He didn’t even mind the taste of soap anymore. This was beyond worth it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom