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Anj's Journal(8/18 update)

Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

March 10th, 2009
I have come to the conclusion that, one type of person I hate in particular, is people who can't take a hint or clue. The type of person who you sit there and say "No" to over and over again, but it just won't sink into their goddamned skull no matter how many times they hear it. The type of person who throws reason after reason at you to pick apart your "No". And then, when they finally do take the hint, they get all whiney, bitchy, emo, and melodramatic about the whole thing, like you sprung it on them with no warning and now it's your fault that they're in so much pain.
*insert sarcasm here*
/emowhine

Ugh! Seriously!

Anyway.
A side note here: I'm in love with my baby girl, Alyxandria Arlene Boyd.
She is my little angel!

And guys suck.
Except for a few.
Case in point: Thad! <3
Also Joe, Kenny, and my guy friends here on BM! =)

To Thad: thank-you so much for staying with me at the hospital for as long as you could. It helped the anxiety hospitals cause me.
You are my hero <3
Much luvs to you!

Last note: My RP's are going to suffer as I'm in recovery. I can barely get up and move around without a lot of pain. Should be able to get back to them soon, I appreciate everyone's patience.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

Ugh, I hate people like that. i know a few. Makes me want to start practicing my backhand again. If i'm told directly to back off, or a general no, i know I went too far.

And you, missy, need to get off the computer and rest. lay down and enjoy some you time. You don't have much of it left!
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

May 3rd, 2009
Mmm, I want pick you apart and watch you suffer. Cut off the part of you that makes you a man, gut you, tear out your heart, and pick out your eyes. I want to make you hurt as much as I've been hurting. Poor little emo boy; you knock up a woman, then leave her, and expect karma not to bite you in the ass? Oh nu, the girl I just met yesterday has a boyfriend and I like her and she doesn't want to date me. Waaaaah. I need to cut! Poor little emo boy. Get the fuck over yourself and be a man; though your suffering makes a smile break across my face. Don't get me wrong, I love you, but at the same time I despise you. I want you, but I don't. I want you alive, but then I want you dead.

Such contridications.
Hahaha.

So let me tell you this, you poor boy - go cut yourself. See if we give a flying fuck.Waaaah, somebody love me. I'm such an attention whore, I'm going to cut to get attention.
HAH!
Poor little boy can't get laid, has to lie to me to try to get me to have sex with you.
Not gonna happen.

I'm not a midnight booty call.
Be a good little emo boy and go spank it.

'Kay?

[/end rant]

Well, as you can see, I had to get some anger off my chest and aim it at the source: my ex. Between my last update and now, he dumped me and has been trying to get me to sleep with him because he's horny and no one will sleep with him.
He broke his finger.
Got rejected.
Almost got kicked out.

Hahaha.
I say it serves him right.
I do love him dearly, but it's nice to see what goes around comes around.

Please don't think any less of me after reading this, just had to vent.

-Anjeru

P.s. Trygon, I'm getting so close to giving you his contact information so you can turn his life into a living hell.

So close.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

You've been 'SO CLOSE' for about a month now. Get the fucking lead out and make it happen.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

Trygon said:
You've been 'SO CLOSE' for about a month now. Get the fucking lead out and make it happen.
Click to expand...
Just give it to him, Anjeru. It's more fun that way.

And he definitely deserves it.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

While he would deserve the wrath of Trygon. He is the baby's father, so I can understand why you're hesitant about it. It's a judgement call only you can make, hon.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

Try: *huff* I know, I know. I'm just trying to think of what's best for Alyxandria right now. One reason why I haven't killed him myself.

Ps. I need a hangout session with you guys! You keep me sane, somehow. Lol.

Raz: He does deserve it, but one of my biggest and worst flaws is I am too forgiving. And naive, definitely naive. But as I said to Try, Alyxandria is my first priority.

Seythe: Exactly.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

One thing that I have learned is that forgiveness can only be given a handful of times. From what I have heard, he spent them already. *crosses arms and nods*

 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

I'm not gonna kill him, and if he's gonna hold a grudge against his daughter for something your friend did, then I'd say the kid's better without him.

If you're avoiding that truth, then you should seriously re-evaluate your situation.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

:O
Are me and Trygon in agreement about something?
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

Raziel99 said:
:O
Are me and Trygon in agreement about something?
Click to expand...
You're not a bad guy, Raz. Just, not very bright. Or mature. Which is why I only rag on you when I have something to say, as opposed to other targets around the site who got it full force whenever I saw them.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

*shrugs* I'm trying to change stuff around. And I'm not one for long stories. Though I do have one question for you if you want to answer it.

But back to the subject at hand. Making Anjeru's Ex pay. *nods*
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

Just a simple one.

If i remember right, you were pretty active with drp before it blew to high hell, at least in the earlier days in April/May. Did you ever notice, or see yourself, that I was underage until about a month before it fell?
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

I don't recall. I didn't make a habit of SUPERINFORMATION until I set up BM.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

Well, I would figure that much. Why help out Rageblade if he doesn't do anything on the site anyway except get a bunch of 'fangirls?'

And I use that word loosely.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

I am re-evaluating. Just doing it one step at a time; have to do a bunch of stuff for the state still due to the Nazi nurse at the hospital sicking CPS on me.
 
Re: A Place To Think(Anjeru's Journal)RP update

June 26th, 2009
Thad, or Kaios as we know him, can kindly fuck off. You are a lying, cheating, two-timing, backstabbing, piece of shit. I am at the point of hating you. Thanks for leading me on, thanks for treating Alyx like a treasure, and then throwing it away because you can't think before you act. Do not ever tell me you love me again - sunday was the last time. Ever. And sunday will also be the last time you ever kiss me. And even if you try to deny it, I have proof.

So. Go to hell. I hope you suffer as much as you've made me suffer, as well as others.

-Anjeru
 
Re: Anj's Journal(6-26 update)

August 15th, 2009

Minor update- I gave Rickey another chance and safe to say, I got sick of his shit. He's to the wind now. Not dealing with his crap. I am not a sex toy, or a convenience, nor will I be treated like one. And, when thinking clearly, I do not feel as though I love him or ever truly did. Maybe a severe infatuation...though, I did have his baby and I was scared to death of having kids. So, right now, I really can't say.

Enough of that.

Nothing is really new, I guess. I'm feeling a little down right now...not entirely sure as to why. I'm all sorts of jumbled up in my head. Feelings and emotions all out of whack. I have feelings for someone I shouldn't and one ex that I truly care for is having a rough time, but I'm too far away to do anything. -Grumbles something about needing the instant transmission technique that Son Goku has- I feel bad for having feelings for the person that I do. I didn't really expect it, so ya. Blah. I know nothing will ever come from it either, but you can't help how you feel...well, you can, just not very easily. I just want to make sure my friends and loved ones are happy, so I can put myself and my feelings last. And my daughter comes first in all things. <3

Going to lay down now and hope the loneliness and insomnia pass. And I need to stop thinking so much! D< Lol.

-Anjeru
 
Re: Anj's Journal(6-26 update)

Insomnia is good as long as you can turn your life into a night life. Since I don't have much to do, that's what I do! :D

But things will get better, I promise. They always end up turning the way they are suppose to.
 
Re: Anj's Journal(6-26 update)

This is true. My sleeping schedule is all upside down anyway. I go to sleep once the sun rises, and if I can manage, don't get up until late, some cases 6-8pm. Depends on Alyx. XP

I got some sleep though, so I feel a little better. ^^
 
Re: Anj's Journal(6-26 update)

August 18th
My late night rambling:

Oh, really, one of the woes of being human is the inability to control ones heart - though the arguement is thrown about that the heart is no more than an organ and can feel nothing. Yet, ones heart will clench and ache when hurt by those you love. May feel heavy when it is broken. It may be just that our brain comminucates the pain we feel at being hurt to our heart, and it is no more than our mind playing tricks on us. Regardless, when it has decided upon a person, it's nearly impossible to break free. My ex has played me numerous times, countless times, left me crying and betrayed. Yet, my heart refuses to let him go though in my mind I despise his existance. Really, it makes no sense to me.

Besides that, I still reside in the land of confusion. Unsure of how to feel. Feeling guilty for beginning to care for someone. I wish I could tear myself free from all romantic bonds and be able to live without someone. Really, no man or woman, defines who I am. I am who I am without someone by my side.

Yet, I still feel so lonely.
The woes of being a human being.
 
I broke up with my only long term girlfriend 5 years ago. I still dream about her from time to time. It took me 3 years to not get violently ill when ever i saw her. To this day if someone calls me the pet name she had for me... I will snap women get yelled at men get punched. Only women i was ever stupid enough to propose to. I only hope one day i can find someone to push the cunt out of my heart.
 
Raziel- *blushes beat red and hides*

Distain- The ex I'm referring to I've liked/loved since the beginning of high school. Almost 6 years now. I'd rather punch him in the cock than ever be around him again, but meh. There's still an inkling that cares.
 
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