-Hopefully watching this in the morning BEFORE I start drinking will cut down on the amount of crying that is inevitably coming.
-D'aaaaaaaw baby Smeagol and Deagol.
-I still find it hilarious that Smeagol always talked like that.
-Ah Deagol, the shortest Ringbearer of all.
-I kind of like practical effects Gollum. That would have been an interesting route to take.
-If y'all ever wonder where my endless optimism comes from, there might be a little Gamgee in me.
-"You've never done a hard days work." This actually makes me wonder how rich hobbits like the Took and Brandybucks acquired their fortunes. Do they have tenant farmers?
-Young Master Gandalf lol
-I kind of love the idea of a wizard dying by regular old hanging.
-How many wizard rods are left? Isn't Gandalf on like his sixth one?
-So if Saruman knows about Frodo, and Saruman has been talking to Sauron, how does Sauron not know about Frodo?
-Oh hay Grima.
-So I guess we're not doing Scouring of the Shire then?
-That was a heavy ass ball for Saruman to be keeping in his sleeve.
-Dammit Pippin must you touch everything.
-For a second there I thought they reused that shot of Eowyn standing in front of Meduseld but I don't think she was wearing the corset last time.
-Oh whatever Legolas like your dad isn't the biggest wino east of the mountains
-Oh man those meaningful glances between Aragorn and Eowyn...I can't take it this early in the morning.
-Man I wish I was partying like these guys tonight.
-Pretty sure Smeagol has killed more than just Deagol over the last 500 years. Remember that time he ate an orc in Unexpected Journey?
-Apparently it didn't taste very nice.
-Again with the people speaking too loudly. Everyone in this movie needs to learn an indoor voice.
-This whole Gollum vs. Sam subplot is really frustrating. Apparently owning the Ring makes you dumb af too.
-Eowyn on her couch has been me in my living room pretty much every night of vacation lol
-Pretty freaking light in the hall considering how dark it is outside.
-The stars are not veiled Legolas, I can see them right there on screen.
-Classic Pippin, driving the plot entirely by accident.
-Theoden how was Gondor even supposed to know y'all were in trouble? Did you even send them a raven?
-Omg Merry and Pippin saying goodbye I can't
-Seeing lil Eldarion makes me wish Tolkien had finished the LOTR sequel. Kind of curious to see how that kid turned out.
-"Your hands are cold." That is not how staying in Middle Earth works.
-Minas Tirith always looks so cool on the first reveal. Not as cool as Edoras, but still pretty cool.
-lol the helmets on the fountain guards.
-Ah Pippin, the very definition of "not saying anything."
-Wow those kids from Minas Morgul are very devoted to their graffiti
-Now who smokes too much, Gandalf?
-Oh the Witch King is coming? GOOD THING YOU'VE GOT A BADASS LADY ON YOUR SIDE if you ever let her do something besides make googly eyes at Aragorn.
-I love how the "secret" stair is like four feet from the road to Minas Morgul. The Witch King is obviously the least observant person ever.
-Also that road is way too narrow for the amount of people that come out of is like two seconds later.
-Damn Sam you a badass.
-At least Gandalf knows halflings are better rogues than fighters.
-MY SWEET BABY FARAMIR GET OUT OF THERE!
-Oh boy here comes tumor face. A classic character.
-Wow that armor is crappy if it can take an arrow right through the chest.
-At least these guards seem to know about indoor voices.
-Pippin's up here rolling a nat 20 on stealth. Either that or Denethor is hiring Thranduil's guards for the beacon.
-Oh to be those guys whose only job it is to watch and see if the beacons get lit.
-"And Rohan will answer." So basically you were just trying to start drama before, weren't you Theoden?
-Ummm excuse me Aragorn that is super rude to go poke around in a lady's saddle like that.
-lol Merry on a horse is me.
-A fun fact I learned recently was that most of the Rohirrim are actually played by women in real life, since New Zealand didn't have enough men who rode horses recreationally.
-Oh no things are not going well for my baby
-Wait where were the rangers keeping their horses?
-Aaaaaaah I love the scene where Gandalf rides out to fight the NazgΓ»l
-Except why tf did he bring Pippin?
-Denethor: Father of the Year
-omg i just want to give Faramir the biggest hug rn
-Smeagol you did try to strangle Sam that one time. He might still be holding a grudge over that, idk.
-Oh wow the Fell Beast on the tower looks sick.
-Awwww the scene between Pippin & Faramir
-WOW DENETHOR YOU ARE TERRIBLE
-Ugh the scene with the crumbs is annoying. And Sam sleeping so close to the edge of the cliff is giving me anxiety.
-Why did we have to have this scene instead of the one in the book where Gollum actually feels bad about leading them into the tunnel for a hot minute? That was way more meaningful.
-Ugh Faramir and the boys riding out again is so sad. Also that is not very many guys to take back an entire city.
-Ew do not need to see John Noble eating up close.
-Getting some serious Rains of Castamere vibes with Pippin's song and the soldiers riding out...
-Gandalf must be so pissed that he saved all those guys like six hours ago and Denethor sent them all out to get killed again.
-The Rohan song!!! That'll cheer up anybody.
-Awwww the scene between Merry & Eowyn
-Eomer is being such a big brother. "You and your little friends can't play with us!"
-Arwen is not dying, you're being dramatic.
-Super convenient actually that the Rohirrim decided to hold their annual convention exactly where the ghost army hangs out.
-Oh Eowyn it's okay. I've been on the receiving end of the "It is but a shadow that you love" conversation. Men are trash.
-So if Eowyn went off with the Rohirrim, who stayed behind to look after the peasants?
-Aaaaaaaaaaah more underground things. That's a nope from me dawg. I'm with the horses on this one.
-Merry and Eowyn gonna go fuck some shit up.
-Whooo nelly that's a lotta skulls.
-Seriously how are they not losing their balance on all those skulls?
-This must be TolkienWorld's equivalent of the Haunted Mansion.
-Oy again with the skulls.
-Okay here is where I was going to complain about the trolls being outside under the sun, but *I guess* considering the evil clouds overhead they're fine. On a technicality.
-OH NO MY SWEET BABY.
-There now, happy Denethor? Or are you gonna keep being like this?
-Meanwhile Faramir's all
-So the orcs are not even going to try to get out of the way of those flying boulders, huh?
-Also wtf is a baby doing on the front lines? Y'all been taking parenting lessons from Bard?
-Gotta respect Gandalf doing pretty much everything during this battle. Also gotta love the duel-wielding.
-Pippin did you not have something to tell Gandalf? Pippin where are you going?
-Wait wtf were those rhinoceros things we never see again?
-Guess we'll find out after the disc break.
-Awwww guys this is the last disc of the live-action series!
-LOTR: Now with pirates!
-lol Gimli you lil shit
-Yes that tunnel does not look sus at all.
-Frodo whenever you touch something sticky it is a good rule of thumb not to ask what it is.
-Sam you are going to have a lot of catching up to do if you're almost at the bottom my dude.
-Galadriel is such a good gift-giver. How did Frodo know the elvish to say to turn the light on though?
-Huh, Shelob still looks pretty good after all these years.
-lol Gollum has no interest in rhyming.
-Gee Frodo, wouldn't it have been nice to have a second set of hands there to help you out when Gollum inevitably betrayed you? If only the ring hadn't turned you into a dumdum
-Cate Blanchett is gonna appear in all three movies or die trying.
-Awwwww Merry you'll always be a knight to me.
-Jesus they're still pulling Grond up to the gates?
-Denethor is such a fucking drama queen.
-He should take some lessons from Shelob, who is quiet as fuck despite being like a six ton spider.
-Sam learned quick travel I see.
-See this scene would have been so much sadder if it came at the very end of the last movie.
-Well hey Pippin, at least if Denethor released you from his service you don't have to sing for him anymore.
-Bruh even Theoden was smart enough to evacuate the women and children from his castle (as was Book!Denethor).
-Poor Gandalf has to fix every goddamn thing in this battle.
-Damn the Witch King is metal af.
-THE ROHIRRIM!!!!
-Oh god here comes the crying
-Denethor you're ruining the battle scene.
-Damn Pippin you a little badass jumping into the fire like that.
-Also NOW you give a shit about your son, Denethor?
-Okay watching Denethor jump of that cliff was kinda cool tho.
-Oh shit that's a lot of elephants.
-OH NO THE HORSIES!
-They probably still ended up better off than the ones from the Hobbit tho.
-Man Haradrim are cool.
-Not as cool as Eomer and his sick spear-throwing skills tho.
-lol Merry trying to drive the horse is like that scene in Clueless where they end up on the LA freeway.
-Okay maybe Merry did take enough levels in fighter to be cool.
-Oh shit I forgot Eowyn killed tumorface. Good on her!
-I hope no matter how old I get I always remember Gandalf's speech about white shores and a far green country.
-OMG YES IT'S THE PART. THE BEST PART IN ALL THE MOVIES.
-Wellp that's the trouble of riding around on things with really long necks.
-That one orc is gonna give the pirates 0 stars on TaskRabbit.
-"Is it just me or did our pirates get way sexier?"
-HE SAID THE THING!
She said it better tho
-Oh jk I guess Eowyn didn't kill tumorface.
-Of course, Aragorn got to do it. Because he hasn't fucked with her enough yet.
-........Legolas we talked about this. This is why Tauriel didn't want to date you.
-lol the ghosts on the elephant in the background.
-Omg Theoden no!
-Eomer's scream
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-Aragorn you need to stop leading poor Eowyn on. All those meaningful face caresses are gonna send the wrong message.
-OOOH BUT SHE GOT A NEW MAN NOW!!
-Merry and Pippin
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-Remember in the book in Cirith Ungol when Frodo was totally naked?
-Wait how did Shelob's stinger pierce the mithril shirt with literally nothing else did?
-lol what if yakity sax was playing while the orcs were all killing each other?
-Ooooh the Watchers! Nice detail, even if they're just a statue here.
-"AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!" There was a severe shortage of Gaffer in these movies.
-Sam is an angel. Nuff said.
-Excellent orc cosplay boys. A+
-"Certainty of death, small chance of success, what are we waiting for?" That's how I'm starting 2021.
-OH MY GOD NO ONE CARES ABOUT ARWEN
-Aragorn you should have been wearing your necklace it is your own damn fault it broke.
-He do be looking good in his new armor though.
-I appreciate this little scene between Faramir and Eowyn, but I wish he would have done his little declaration of love speech somewhere along the line.
-Frodo and Sam rolled a nat 1 on stealth lol
-I wish this movie did the "Where There's a Whip There's a Way" song.
-Omg I just noticed Sam is STILL carrying his pots and pans
-Awwww there they go
-Oh hey Merry must have healed up quick to go up to the Morannon.
-Give them a sec guys, it takes a long time to open a gate that big.
-Eeeeeeeew the Mouth of Sauron needs to go to the dentist.
-Aaaaaaaaaaah the music is getting more epic, where's the kleenex.
-Aragorn's speech
-OH NO ARAGORN'S ARMY IS SURROUNDED I REMEMBER HOW THIS WENT IN BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS
-"I can carry you."
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-"For Frodo"
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-Goddammit Gollum.
-I love how when in doubt, hobbits always have rocks to throw.
-THE EAGLES!!!! Aww now I'm thinking about Thorin again.
-Oh god Frodo get away from the edge you're making me nervous.
-Wait he broke the chain just like that? How has it lasted that long?
-Just had to throw one more troll in there, didn't you Jackson?
-Awww Gollum finally got his precious back.
-HIs balance, on the other hand...
-Aaaaaaaaaah the callback to the first movie in the river!
-lol that troll just noped right out of there didn't he.
-
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-"I can see the Shire"
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-People like to say the third eagle was for Gollum but I think they forget Gandalf was riding one and eagles don't really like to carry things. Gollum was pretty much fucked from the get-go.
-HERE WE GO THE HAPPY ENDING OF ALL HAPPY ENDINGS
-Gandalf and Frodo
-Frodo is laughing again
-The cousins reunited
![Heart :heart: :heart:](/smilies/poe/heart.svg)
-Wait did Gimli and Frodo ever talk to one another? I know sure as fuck Legolas didn't.
-AND SAM
![Heart :heart: :heart:](/smilies/poe/heart.svg)
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-I still prefer dirty Aragorn to King Aragorn.
-I always found the translation of Aragorn's song to be a
little colonialist for my tastes. Just sayin.
-I was so mad in the theatrical version when the only Eowyn x Faramir scene we got was literally them standing next to each other at the coronation.
-Oh look, Arwen showed up. Cool.
-Okay that kiss was kind of hot tho.
-OMG IT'S THE SCENE
-
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-I guess skipping Scouring of the Shire does let us have the pretty green scenery here at the end again.
-Awww all of them at the inn
-GET IT SAM!!
-I see Frodo keeps Bag End cleaner than Bilbo did.
-I will say the writers kind of fucked up the thing with Arwen about not only staying for Aragorn, but her purposely giving her place in Valinor to Frodo. That was one thing I really liked about her character in the book and they just sort of glossed over it here.
-Oh no the saddest music of all is starting
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-Ah I love oldest Bilbo
-Oh look it's Galadriel's husband. Anyone remember his name?
-Galadriel is so pumped to be going home it's adorable.
-OH NO THE SADDEST PART OF THE SADDEST MUSIC
-
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-Elanor
-"Well, I'm back."
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