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Seraph Nicholas said:
Eight months on saturday. Angelspit and Lords of Acid on sunday. Looking for a new place to live. Roommate told me he needs to play less games and get laid more. I told him I need to get laid less and play more video games. Speaking of, Dead Space 2 is very shiny, but... Not very fun. Frankly, you shouldn't die eight times in a game's tutorial. Nevertheless, I'll probably beat it.
Click to expand...

Tako is Jealous D: I wanna see Angelspit! Also - you should get on the Vent sometime - The other guys play Dead Space 2. I hear them talk about it o3o
 
So, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not staff anymore. In fact, I hardly go here. If you asked, I'd tell you I was relieved that this place wasn't my headache anymore. If you want me to DO something, ask, and I may be amiable. If you want to rant about drama that no longer has anything to do with my life, find someone who cares.
 
So, I've not been back long, and I've already found an irritant. He's a shitty little boy who likes to cry about how terrible everything is. I don't think he realizes that his careful formatting and color-coding cheapens his words. When you take the time to make your complaints so very fucking pretty, it demonstrates where your priorities are - And boy, when your first priority is the image you project, it tells a very different story then the one you want us to hear.

It's such a carefully designed persona, I thought it had to be fake. I did my thing, and, god help me, he's actually just like that.

Ick.

Let it be known, Mr. Hesson, that I do not like you, and would be willing to go to some lengths to clean the stain of your presence from Blue Moon.
 
If anyone's interested, I actually made a request thread.

http://bluemoonroleplaying.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=35792
 
Storing this here - It gives me tingly memories of many a PVP stomping.

(06:14:51) OutlawTorn: inferior minds never know their place
(06:15:17) OutlawTorn: it's almost human nature to strive to be, and act as if you're better, stonger, or smarter than what you really are
(06:15:40) OutlawTorn: But it's something that bothers me, having my ankles bitten
(06:15:45) OutlawTorn: lol
(06:21:00) lilminx2: had your ankles bitten lately?
(06:21:12) lilminx2: (responded)
(06:22:55) Seraph_Nicholas: ô.o
(06:23:08) OutlawTorn: -_-
(06:23:08) lilminx2: haven't been bitten, myself.....nibbled on, of course....
(06:23:11) OutlawTorn: omg
(06:23:16) lilminx2: what?
(06:23:28) Seraph_Nicholas: Dat ego.
(06:23:47) lilminx2: scuse me?......morning, sera....
(06:23:53) OutlawTorn: No ego
(06:24:02) Seraph_Nicholas: 'Allo, minx
(06:24:14) lilminx2: puuuurrrrrr......
(06:24:18) OutlawTorn: I don't think I'm better than anyone until they prove it
(06:24:25) OutlawTorn: lol
(06:24:33) Seraph_Nicholas: Uh-huh.
(06:24:44) lilminx2: no one's pulling any ego boost tricks here
(06:24:55) OutlawTorn: exactly
(06:25:06) lilminx2: we're all our own individuals
(06:25:35) OutlawTorn: When someone proves beyond reasonable doubt to be an idiot, it's not a matter of having an ego to recognize that, and proceed under that knowledge
(06:25:48) OutlawTorn: ego has nothing to do with it
(06:25:57) OutlawTorn: absolutely nothing
(06:27:37) OutlawTorn: Ego would be assuming everyone is an idiot, before giving them a chance to prove their worth
(06:27:51) OutlawTorn: You seem to be confused
(06:28:24) Seraph_Nicholas: Not replying = confused?
(06:28:29) Seraph_Nicholas snickers
(06:28:53) OutlawTorn: (09:23:2 Seraph_Nicholas: Dat ego. = confused
(06:29:06) OutlawTorn: not your lack of a reply
(06:29:14) OutlawTorn: your intial statement
(06:30:31) Seraph_Nicholas: Oh, no. I said you're egotistical because you are. You literally drip it. Whatever you intended to say, your message was thus
(06:33:54) lilminx2: have you two met before?.....your'e certainly going at it....
(06:34:05) lilminx2: (sent, OT)
(06:34:24) Seraph_Nicholas: Going at it? Nah. Not yet.
(06:35:11) lilminx2: someone strikes you as being an idiot, OT?
(06:35:23) OutlawTorn: YOu don't know me to say that
(06:35:32) OutlawTorn: You don't know the first thing about me
(06:35:47) OutlawTorn: But I know something about you already
(06:35:48) lilminx2: what did I do?
(06:36:03) OutlawTorn: No minx
(06:36:11) OutlawTorn: Nicky over here
(06:36:19) Seraph_Nicholas: I know you're the sort to snap a picture of some belly fur and call it a sixpack, Mike.
(06:36:22) OutlawTorn: The mind reader
(06:36:22) Seraph_Nicholas grins
(06:36:38) Seraph_Nicholas: I know you worry about your hair too much
(06:36:51) Seraph_Nicholas: I know you've tried and failed to make a site similar to this one.
(06:37:09) OutlawTorn: Oh really =)
(06:37:09) Seraph_Nicholas: And, of course, I've read a number of your conversations.
(06:37:15) Seraph_Nicholas: So, yes. Dat ego.
(06:37:18) lilminx2: so.....you DO know him?
(06:37:27) OutlawTorn: I know a lot of people
(06:37:33) OutlawTorn: very few actually know me
(06:37:37) Seraph_Nicholas: As much as I know everyone on this site - Which is, more then they think
(06:37:39) OutlawTorn: Especially on RP sites
(06:38:06) lilminx2: ....where youre true personality emerges....
(06:38:14) Seraph_Nicholas: All I needed was your tone. I got that in volume
(06:38:19) Seraph_Nicholas: Precisely, Minx.
(06:38:34) OutlawTorn: My true personality never emerges online
(06:38:40) OutlawTorn: let alone real life
(06:38:45) OutlawTorn: if you wanna call it that
(06:38:59) lilminx2: I tend to play close to the belt, if you wanna call it that
(06:39:01) OutlawTorn: Anyone who knows me from that era you're reffering to, should know that
(06:39:17) OutlawTorn: I've never let my guard down
(06:39:21) OutlawTorn: ever
(06:39:32) lilminx2: been hurt recently?
(06:39:35) OutlawTorn: The only person who even remotely knew me online, was Gideon
(06:39:44) Seraph_Nicholas hums
(06:39:47) Seraph_Nicholas: Y'think?
(06:39:48) OutlawTorn: And even she didn't breach the outer most layers
(06:39:55) Seraph_Nicholas: Y'sure~?
(06:40:01) OutlawTorn: I destroyed that poor girl
(06:40:21) OutlawTorn: ran her through the cleaners
(06:40:34) OutlawTorn: Oh, I'm possitive
(06:40:37) OutlawTorn: lol
(06:40:42) Seraph_Nicholas: Now, wait, you were telling me why I was wrong for assuming you were egotistical. It seems you got sidetracked by being egotistical.
(06:41:04) lilminx2: hindsight can be a unforgiving master
(06:41:12) OutlawTorn: HOw am I egotistical?
(06:41:30) OutlawTorn: My FO days were a bad run
(06:41:34) OutlawTorn: but that's not me
(06:41:48) Seraph_Nicholas: Of course it's not.
(06:41:53) OutlawTorn: if you had actually taken the time to try to know me, instead of judging, you'd know OT is NOT me
(06:41:57) Seraph_Nicholas: Just someone with your hands on your keyboard, right
(06:42:09) OutlawTorn: OT is a tiny part of me which I hate
(06:42:21) lilminx2: alter ego?
(06:42:22) OutlawTorn: It's a persona
(06:42:26) OutlawTorn: exactly
(06:42:31) Seraph_Nicholas snorts
(06:42:42) Seraph_Nicholas: It's a strength you're too frightened to tap.
(06:42:51) OutlawTorn: =S
(06:43:07) lilminx2: I envy those that can play opposites of what they really are
(06:43:09) OutlawTorn: OKay Champ!
(06:43:24) OutlawTorn: You don't know me
(06:43:41) OutlawTorn: despite whether or not your ignorance feels it does
(06:43:51) lilminx2: may have to send you two in opposite corners till the next round bell chimes
(06:43:55) Seraph_Nicholas: Once again - Y'sure? 'Cause you really need to be before you make assumptions like that
(06:44:27) OutlawTorn: Well since you won't tell me who I know you as....
(06:44:32) Seraph_Nicholas: Consider the possibility that I know more then you want me to, Mike. While your at it, consider the ramifications of that knowledge.
(06:45:05) OutlawTorn: You are so cheesy -_-
(06:45:15) OutlawTorn: You know nothing
(06:45:17) Seraph_Nicholas: Naturally
(06:45:23) lilminx2: gonna both take off masks?....this might be good...
(06:45:25) Seraph_Nicholas: Denial makes it so, ja?
(06:45:32) OutlawTorn: He won't
(06:45:45) OutlawTorn: he'd lose that sense of false control
(06:46:07) Seraph_Nicholas: He wants me to put on an old mask. I'm frankly disinterested. No reason to give him any advantages he hasn't earned.
(06:46:15) OutlawTorn: He read some posts I made on another board, and feels he's an expert
(06:46:38) OutlawTorn: He sounds a lot like DB
(06:47:16) OutlawTorn: A tiny, weak, frail man hidden under layers of defense mechanisms
(06:47:54) lilminx2: look, I don't know either of you well enough to make any accusations or assumptions...as for myself, I am what I am, have no reason to hide it, and if someone doesn't approve they can fuck themselves
(06:48:06) Seraph_Nicholas: Perhaps. Perhaps. Or maybe someone else. For that matter, why do you assume I'm male?
(06:48:25) Seraph_Nicholas: Minx - You've never given me reason to fault you, hence I haven't
(06:48:26) OutlawTorn: Nicholas....
(06:48:33) OutlawTorn: Hmmmm
(06:48:38) OutlawTorn: You know I really don't know
(06:48:48) OutlawTorn: ball park estimate?
(06:49:25) lilminx2: an estimate is a percentage guess....it's either one way or the other
(06:49:55) OutlawTorn: You're a joke Nicky
(06:50:25) OutlawTorn: until you're ready to stop hiding, I really don't care what you think of me. OT 101
(06:50:26) Seraph_Nicholas: It amuses me how quickly you'll disavow OT, yet you seem to put him in the fore everywhere. It only takes a bit of foreknowledge to see your old patterns emerging.
(06:50:56) OutlawTorn: Because OT is a persona
(06:51:09) OutlawTorn: a semi-consistant one
(06:51:26) OutlawTorn: took you 7+ years to figure this out?
(06:51:37) Seraph_Nicholas: And one you like to shit-talk while you use him as an excuse for all the acts you can't man up to.
(06:51:51) OutlawTorn: oh dear god
(06:51:54) lilminx2: oh, honestly, you two......loading the dishwasher
(06:51:58) OutlawTorn: again, you don't know ME at all
(06:52:16) Seraph_Nicholas: Of course. Of course. Just your actions, what do those have to do with anything?
(06:52:20) OutlawTorn: I don't talk much offline
(06:52:48) OutlawTorn: since getting out of jail again in 07, I've tried to be the straight and narrow man
(06:53:03) OutlawTorn: I found god and I'm trying really hard to be a better person
(06:53:11) OutlawTorn: there's a tiny slice of Mike
(06:53:21) OutlawTorn: Now you can say you know something
(06:53:28) OutlawTorn: you pathetic little soul
(06:53:51) Seraph_Nicholas: And yet, you spew profanity and insults the moment you are challenged. You are failing badly at carrying Christ's word.
(06:54:17) lilminx2: getting harder to take you two out together all the time...what will mom say?
(06:54:22) Seraph_Nicholas: If words on a screen make you forsake your 'new path', if just a bit of text tears down this 'new man', what hope have you?
(06:54:46) Seraph_Nicholas: Unimpressed, Mike. Deeply unimpressed.
(06:55:17) OutlawTorn: You are sad
(06:55:20) OutlawTorn: so sad
(06:55:50) OutlawTorn: Given the fact that you take all this so seriously, what chance do you have?
(06:55:59) Seraph_Nicholas grins
(06:56:09) Seraph_Nicholas: Despite my name, I'm no godfearing soul.
(06:56:13) OutlawTorn: You actually think you have the slightest bit of control here, DB
(06:56:27) OutlawTorn: You really never change
(06:56:35) OutlawTorn: You'll always be a sad soul
(06:56:41) Seraph_Nicholas: Once again, you seem convinced that someone who dislikes you this much must be male.
(06:56:47) Seraph_Nicholas: Interesting.
(06:56:51) OutlawTorn: No
(06:56:56) OutlawTorn: Only DB goes on like that
(06:57:09) OutlawTorn: Only DB is so sad that he projects like this online
(06:57:12) Seraph_Nicholas: Alright, it's 7AM, and I'm bored of you, chewtoy.
(06:57:19) OutlawTorn: lmao
(06:57:24) OutlawTorn: mhhhh
(06:57:27) OutlawTorn:
(06:57:53) OutlawTorn: Hot air
(06:57:57) Seraph_Nicholas: Let me demonstrate a magic trick before I go
(06:58:08) OutlawTorn: oh dear god
(06:58:14) OutlawTorn: save it DB
(06:58:19) OutlawTorn: for fuck sake
(06:58:24) OutlawTorn: No one but you cares
(06:58:59) Seraph_Nicholas: http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x279/OutlawTorn_Can/Snapshot1​15-08-20123-35PM-1.jpg
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x279/OutlawTorn_Can/Pics/Mike​14.jpg
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x279/OutlawTorn_Can/Pics/Mike​6.jpg
http://rpgforumsonline.com/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u​=9758
http://rpgteamonline.myfreeforum.org/profile.php?mode=viewprofi​le&u=2
http://www.valucre.com/member.php/2934-OutlawTorn
(06:59:10) Seraph_Nicholas: We've never met before tonight. I just wanted to make you dance.
(06:59:32) Seraph_Nicholas: I do know a rather compelling amount now, however, which was my goal
(06:59:37) OutlawTorn: Suuuure
(06:59:49) OutlawTorn: You need a hobby
(06:59:52) OutlawTorn: Really
(07:00:00) Seraph_Nicholas laughs
(07:00:02) OutlawTorn: human being to human being... get the fuck out more
(07:00:13) Seraph_Nicholas: I'm a PI for bail bondsman. This is my job.
(07:00:31) Seraph_Nicholas: Simple stuff, really. Practice keeps me sharp, and dumb cunts like you are good practice
(07:01:16) Seraph_Nicholas: But, hey, insults and profanity have worked so well for you so far
(07:01:33) Seraph_Nicholas: Here's a tip, Mike: Shut the fuck up more.
(07:01:52) Seraph_Nicholas: Your ego is such a glaring, pulsing weakness, you look like a Metroid boss.
(07:02:27) OutlawTorn: Here`s a tip, look in the mirror
(07:02:36) Seraph_Nicholas: In half an hour, you were -convinced- I was some shadowy figure from your past. Wish I could talk to 'DB', I'd imagine he's got good stories.
(07:03:15) OutlawTorn: Good stories of me humiliating him in the Fo shoutbox, maybe
(07:03:26) Seraph_Nicholas: (06:27:37) OutlawTorn: Ego would be assuming everyone is an idiot, before giving them a chance to prove their worth
(07:04:01) Seraph_Nicholas: I've adquately proven my ability to make you trip all over yourself. Now here's the test - Were you talking out your ass, or will you extend me the respect I am due for my ability?
(07:04:05) OutlawTorn: Dude your ego swallows mine and spits it out
(07:04:27) OutlawTorn: =S You are dilusional to think you even phased me
(07:04:41) Seraph_Nicholas: Indeed. However, I am a remarkably competent individual with useful skills you have no defense against. You want me to like you, is the thing.
(07:04:49) OutlawTorn: You`ve proven to be a sad human being with too much spare time
(07:04:55) OutlawTorn: and a head full of hot air
(07:05:31) OutlawTorn: I don`t need defense against old photobucket links
(07:05:36) Seraph_Nicholas: And the backpedaling. I think I have enough material for now. Wasn't I gonna go to bed, or something? Stop being so much fun, chewtoy.
(07:05:39) OutlawTorn: lmfao
(07:06:10) OutlawTorn: Humanity never fails to disapoint
 
Usually the winter is a bad time... Perhaps I'm balancing as I age? Summer was hectic, senseless, and not a terrible amount of progress was made. But this fall...

It's Bayview 2.0 over here, is the thing. We're adults now, and we act like it, but the same energy is in the air. I thought it was gone forever. We work together, we recognize each other's quirks on a deep level, and we all bring everything to the table.

And then there's her. There were plenty of women I wanted to get with in highschool, but none of them look even better these days - Or grew along the same path as me - But her. I'm actually able to talk to her, for hours. That's inexpressibly hard for me. We have similar interests, but little overlap, so we have a lot of cool things to share with each other. Her daughter loves me, too, though mostly for my Nerf gun, I think.

Oh yeah, and the sex is phenomenal.
 
Sounds like a good path to be on. I really hope you continue to stay on it and forge on ahead, carving it out as you need and finding more wonderful things as you traverse along it. This start sounds like exactly where you should be, so my hopes and thoughts are with you on that. Hope this last for a good long while if not for 'the long haul', if you know I mean. :)
 
A silly thing was said to me the other day.

'Nobody can tell me what is or isn't offensive.'

...It's something of a dismissal of the entire system of human socialization, innit? That's -all- other people should do. Naturally, you don't have to listen to them, but if somebody gives you sound, thought-out reasons for something (i.e. why genocide demolishing millions of genetic lines is bad, why somebody telling you if they like your haircut or not isn't), you owe it to them not only to consider what they say, but to...

*deep breath*

ADMIT YOUR OWN WRONGNESS AND CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMN THOUGHT STRUCTURE JUST BECAUSE OF WHAT SOMEONE SAID.

This belief, this... 'I can't defend my point of view, but you're still wrong, because My Gut.', is silly. If I ran down an Atheist with a solid logic train on the existence of God, I'm gonna expect that Atheist to become an Agnostic -that very second-. Likewise, if someone says 'Getting pissed at that was silly. That person was trying to say X and your own bias made it offensive.'... Do you know what comes after? Yep! You admit that you were wrong, you make amends, and you never get offended by that again, because NOW YOU KNOW BETTER.

Thought for the day: If you can't defend your own ideals, then discard them in favor of what the person who CAN defend THEIRS believes. They obviously think about it more then you, and are probably smarter then you too. Your Wall of Denial is really just a chinese footwrap. You think it's keeping you pure and beautiful, but it's really just restricting your growth until you're a useless, twisted lump that can only be improved by amputation.
 
At the very least it warrants the need to do some research and actually learn something rather than clinging to old belief systems/opinions just "because".
 
It doesn't seem that hard, you know?

I know I can be hard to get along with. The only thing I'm really good at with words is making people angry, but I mastered that. However, I've always held to the belief that actions speak louder than words. My actions are ever helpful, supportive, and considerate, even if my words while I perform these actions aren't.

And yet... As time goes on, I wonder.

People sure don't remember actions very well. They remember the time I attacked their character by questioning their behavior. They remember the time I told a vague friend exactly what I thought of them. They sure don't remember all those times I wordlessly covered food, smoke, hell, even rent. Nobody perceives when I talk down two parties from an imminent conflict before either side even knows it's brewing. And god forbid I mention any time when I actually flexed my muscle and pushed you, kicking and screaming, into the right, best choice, completely against your will.

Not that I'm going to change my behavior. I will continue to be the best person I can be forever. I will never begrudge these people their failures of perception. All it costs them is my respect.
 
Sometimes people walk around with blinders on and rather than seeing the whole picture, they focus on a portion. And when people do this, they'd rather focus their energy on the parts that dealt with the dramatics over anything else because people are strange that way and seek out such things for some reason. Or so it seems. I wish I understood why people don't take that step back and truly look at the whole rather than the part, but as I said--people are blind. It's rather sad actually. But you can't force people to see what's right there in front of them either. All you can do is hope that one day they learn and grow from it and then become a better person as a result.

Keep being you. :)
 
The blinders analogy is appropriate in a few ways, actually. It's a lot like driving horses. Just smart enough to be douchebags, just stupid enough to panic and break their own legs in a fit.
 
This is why I say you are a douchebag but I appreciate our friendship more than you might think. Hence why I have to give you such a hard time. <3
 
Hahvoc The Decepticon said:
This is why I say you are a douchebag but I appreciate our friendship more than you might think. Hence why I have to give you such a hard time. <3
Click to expand...

Oh, don't think your attachment to me is in -any- way unknown, Hahvoc. Quite mutual, by the way.
 
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